Dining Room Ettiquette

[Charxu]

I know this may sound like a crazy question but last week we were on a cruise and some people at our table changed chairs each night. This upset others at the table and one of the guests was told that there is dining room ettiquette that says you should always sit in the same chair spot each night. I was not aware of this myself so if anyone has any idea if this is a fact or just a made up theory can you let me know. Thanks.

[firefly333]

Or some got chairs they liked, nearer a window or not next to the servers stand and wanted to keep them so made up rules.

 

If someone had a window seat and I wanted it, Id get there early the next time so I could get it. Let them say something.

[panoramaofthepast]

We habitually change our seats at dinner so that we can get to know everyone at the table. On our last cruise, one couple obviously wanted the same seat each night, so we were careful not to take "their" seats if we got to the table first, but on most cruises, the folks seem to enjoy a change up.

[Coolcruise02]

We have had both situations. Some want the same place every night. (usually older couples) But, we like to switch with others especially if we happen to get there first and get a good location. I only think it is polite to ask others if they would like next to the window or a better view, etc. the next night.

[BeachChik]

I know this may sound like a crazy question but last week we were on a cruise and some people at our table changed chairs each night. This upset others at the table and one of the guests was told that there is dining room ettiquette that says you should always sit in the same chair spot each night. I was not aware of this myself so if anyone has any idea if this is a fact or just a made up theory can you let me know. Thanks.

 

Wow. To me that just says that the people that got upset need to worry less about what other people are doing. What a petty thing to get upset about. People are on vacation, I doubt they are worried about what chair they are sitting at as long as they are at the right table. IMO further proof that it is better to sit at a smaller table with just your traveling party.

[Eriksgarden]

The only etiquette is to seat ladies to the view or toward the dining room to be seen. But maybe there is a thing about the same seat, too...We always seem to sit in the same chairs each time.

[TerReuv]

Pretty sure that would not be heard from Miss Manners! Unless there are placecards, everyone can sit where ever they want.

[CrusinCyndi]

We have changed seats a few times and boy oh boy does it knock the servers for a loop...I kinda don't want to do it, but hubby likes to change things up...3 times I have felt bad for the servers

[bikercruiser]

Since we usually are the only group at our table, it is tradition for us to change each night for a different view each night. Our waiters figure it out the second night and have always made a game of guessing where we each will sit.

[ib4cruzn]

I know this may sound like a crazy question but last week we were on a cruise and some people at our table changed chairs each night. This upset others at the table and one of the guests was told that there is dining room ettiquette that says you should always sit in the same chair spot each night. I was not aware of this myself so if anyone has any idea if this is a fact or just a made up theory can you let me know. Thanks.

 

There is no such thing as etiquette on Carnival. Sit where and when you want.

[woodey]

I normally Cruise with a Group.....not only do we switch seats but we switch tables...

[WetToes]

There is no such thing as etiquette on Carnival. Sit where and when you want.

 

 

My god, it must be tiresome being you.

[skittl1321]

Pretty sure that would not be heard from Miss Manners! Unless there are placecards, everyone can sit where ever they want.

 

I agree. I think many people like routine, but if there is no placecard, you can sit where you want.

[okgirl]

I think it's rude for people to expect to get the best seat at the table just because they were seated there the first night. It's one of the reasons we do YTD now. And even with YTD my sister and I trade back and forth each evening for who sits on which side and/or who is seated first.

 

Everyone should have a chance to sit by the window or be seated facing the dining room.

[AFAMILY]

The only real etiquette I would think of is to sit next to people who are not opposite-handed to yourself whenever possible. Other than that, maybe mix it up each night to allow everyone to sit in the "choice seat" if there is one, only as a courtesy.

[MsTabbyKats]

I know this may sound like a crazy question but last week we were on a cruise and some people at our table changed chairs each night. This upset others at the table and one of the guests was told that there is dining room ettiquette that says you should always sit in the same chair spot each night. I was not aware of this myself so if anyone has any idea if this is a fact or just a made up theory can you let me know. Thanks.

 

OMG..this happened to us on a tour once. My husband liked his seat by the window....and after we made a stop someone else took his seat. He informed the person that "it was his seat" for the trip.

 

I just rolled my eyes and tried to explain to my DH that it was a small van...and seats weren't reserved. Personally....I felt that DH was acting like a noodnik.

 

Likewise for dining room seats....if it's so important....get there early.

[T. Advisor King]

The only etiquette is to seat ladies to the view or toward the dining room to be seen. But maybe there is a thing about the same seat, too...We always seem to sit in the same chairs each time.

 

Can you explain what this means (or let me know if it is just a joke that I didn't get)?

 

My personal view is that it is more a matter of human nature and not "etiquette". If you ever attend a conference or similar type meeting, when people return from a break, lunch or return on day 2 (or any other situation where they are not leaving their things at their desk/chair/table), they still tend to try to return to the same place they were previously.

 

I would not be inclined to make a point of taking my previous seat, although I'm less inclined to believe there is a "good" or "bad" seat at a table. My family always sits together and we usually mix it up so that we are rotating who we are sitting next to and across from at our table for four.

[AFAMILY]

OMG..this happened to us on a tour once. My husband liked his seat by the window....and after we made a stop someone else took his seat. He informed the person that "it was his seat" for the trip.

 

I just rolled my eyes and tried to explain to my DH that it was a small van...and seats weren't reserved. Personally....I felt that DH was acting like a noodnik.

 

Likewise for dining room seats....if it's so important....get there early.

 

I can see your husband's point about the tour bus seat. There are window vs. non-window, left side vs. right side, back vs. front and then there's always that uncomfortable wheel-well seat to deal with. Sorry, but I'm with him on this one! :)

[Eriksgarden]

Can you explain what this means (or let me know if it is just a joke that I didn't get)?

 

My personal view is that it is more a matter of human nature and not "etiquette". If you ever attend a conference or similar type meeting, when people return from a break, lunch or return on day 2 (or any other situation where they are not leaving their things at their desk/chair/table), they still tend to try to return to the same place they were previously.

 

I would not be inclined to make a point of taking my previous seat, although I'm less inclined to believe there is a "good" or "bad" seat at a table. My family always sits together and we usually mix it up so that we are rotating who we are sitting next to and across from at our table for four.

 

The part you highlighted is indeed proper etiquette. One seats ladies to enjoy the view, or toward the dining room. I was a server in a formal dining room. The oldest lady gets the best seat.

[broberts]

I've had it both ways, really depends on the people at the table. Never heard of a rule or practice.

 

Personally I like sitting in different locations as it makes it easier to get to know everyone around the table. But I have sat at tables where everyone just naturally choses the same seat each night.

 

As others have said, if one wants the same seat, get there before everyone else.

 

I've never had a problem with wait staff figuring out who was who. If they do, then I wouldn't think them very good at their jobs.

[Elaine5715]

Tour bus drivers do prefer folks to return to the same seat when the buses are not full so they can eye the missing faster. A full bus does not matter since all seats must be full.

It does help wait staff if folks maintain the same seats.

[Homosassa]

In traditional dining with a well trained staff that learns the passengers likes and dislikes, the waitor will set the table up with each passengers preferences: seat A will have ice tea waiting, seat b will have the glass of milk, a child's place will have the child sized utensils and sippy cup (we would bring with us and the staff kept them and cleaned them for the cruise duration, seat d will have the coffee cup and soy milk, etc.

 

Changing the seats messes up the service. It is the custom on a cruise to maintain the same seats for the duration of the cruise.

[T. Advisor King]

The part you highlighted is indeed proper etiquette. One seats ladies to enjoy the view, or toward the dining room. I was a server in a formal dining room. The oldest lady gets the best seat.

 

I still don't get it. "To enjoy the view". How would that apply in a restaurant. Should they be facing the passengers who have their back to a window? I would think that it would be presupposing that they would be rude enough to be staring out the window during dinner.

 

And what do you mean "toward the dining room"? Aren't they IN the dining room? How can you be "toward" something you're in?

 

And I presume you're using the somewhat antiquated "ladies" to mean the opposite of "gentlemen", rather than implying some other distinction between this group and other women.

[MsTabbyKats]

Tour bus drivers do prefer folks to return to the same seat when the buses are not full so they can eye the missing faster. A full bus does not matter since all seats must be full.

It does help wait staff if folks maintain the same seats.

 

It was a mini-van....something like 8 passengers. That's why I compared it to a dining room table. I agree with a full bus load...keep your seat.

 

I thought he was acting like a baby...that he needed to be next to the window. Everyone paid the same price...everyone is entitled to a view...especially if we get on and off.

[Eriksgarden]

I still don't get it. "To enjoy the view". How would that apply in a restaurant. Should they be facing the passengers who have their back to a window? I would think that it would be presupposing that they would be rude enough to be staring out the window during dinner.

 

And what do you mean "toward the dining room"? Aren't they IN the dining room? How can you be "toward" something you're in?

 

And I presume you're using the somewhat antiquated "ladies" to mean the opposite of "gentlemen", rather than implying some other distinction between this group and other women.

 

If the dining room has a view out toward something interesting (the sea, park, mountains, skyline), then the lady is seated facing the view. If the table is not by the window, then the view is toward the dining room or entrance.

 

I don't see anything antiquated about the word "Lady". I hope our world hasn't sunk that low yet.