How do you respond?

[runner2013]

Here's another question for all you seasoned solos? How do you handle the 'looks' from people when you're standing in that long, long, long line to check in? Or even worse if they ask you why you are all by yourself?

The cruise itself wouldn't bother me at all but I have to admit, the standing in line by myself sort of intimidates me. :(

[Darcy15]

I only ever travel solo - and have done multiple cruises

 

I've never had any 'looks' or comments from anyone

 

Enjoy your trip, you'll be just fine :)

[bottomfeeder]

What Darcy said. :)

[Roz]

Never had a problem with this. Don't know why anyone else would care.

 

Roz

[kat2009]

I find people take more of an opportunity to talk with me and include me in things.

[Lois R]

I haven't had any issues either and I find most folks who are checking in

are very nice.....everyone is looking forward to the cruise:D.....I agree,

it is a fun way to start a conversation......where are you from?, Have

you sailed before?.....most cruisers are friendly folks:).....and there

really is no reason to be intimidated about it. I have sailed more than

40 times solo.......I just go in the terminal and find my line:)...or ask

one of the attendants.....they are usually very helpful.

Edited May 27, 2014 by Lois R

[kitty9]

You know what I've realized after taking many solo cruises? Those who make comments are jealous that we solos have the freedom to do what we want, when we want. Then of course you have those who are so unsure of themselves, they can't imagine how anyone can travel solo---they think you must share everything with someone---I have a friend who, I swear, can't go to the bathroom without her husband, she's that uncomfortable in being alone. They can't imagine being able to have a great time as a solo.

 

Have a great cruise.

[Valen9]

How do you handle the 'looks' from people when you're standing in that long, long, long line to check in? Or even worse if they ask you why you are all by yourself?

 

I've never noticed any 'looks' -- really, most people aren't paying attention to you, they're looking forward to their vacation! Now, I know from a friend who has PTSD that sometimes you can FEEL like people are giving you 'looks' when really they're just pointing their faces in your general direction. So for that problem, I am hoping you'll remember the stuff we've said here on this forum. Plus, what do YOU care what total strangers you will never see again think of you?

 

Now, sometimes people do ask when they figure out that I am cruising solo. In general they either tell me how brave I am or they express their envy that they've never tried it. Sometimes I do feel a little like they may think it's inappropriate for a woman to travel alone. But then again, what do *I* care what people I will never see again after we disembark think of how I choose to live my life? Compared with what people get up to these days, exactly how transgressive is taking an ordinary cruise by yourself?

 

If being asked why you are cruising alone stresses you, you might want to prepare some answers. Some things that I tell people are:

• I like to cruise and nobody had time to go with me this week.
  
• It's great to cruise alone. You never have to wait for anyone and you can do whatever you want whenever you want.
  
• I'm usually the one who has to take care of folks when we travel. It's really fun not to have to take care of anyone but me!
  

[runner2013]

Valen9 you (and everyone else)are completely right. I honestly don't care what people who I will never see again think of me. The reasons I would cruise alone are because no one can afford it, or is able to take the time from work. I guess I should just try giving people the benefit of the doubt before assuming they will have something negative to say :D

[calliopecruiser]

Here's another question for all you seasoned solos? How do you handle the 'looks' from people when you're standing in that long, long, long line to check in? Or even worse if they ask you why you are all by yourself?

The cruise itself wouldn't bother me at all but I have to admit, the standing in line by myself sort of intimidates me. :(

 

The looks get ignored, or I just smile at them and say "hi". If I'm asked why I'm on my own, I answer honestly -- that I'd rather travel on my own than stay at home. I'm not embarassed by traveling on my own, so I'm not embarassed to tell them why. I'd rather they ask than make up their own presumed reason, and I'd rather chat with people than stand silently alone.....I figure their asking is a way to open up conversation. So I tell them and move on to continue the chat.

[mtwingcpa]

Here's another question for all you seasoned solos? How do you handle the 'looks' from people when you're standing in that long, long, long line to check in? Or even worse if they ask you why you are all by yourself? The cruise itself wouldn't bother me at all but I have to admit, the standing in line by myself sort of intimidates me. :(

 

I guess the only unpleasant questions or inquiries I recall came from customs or immigration agents - NOT other passengers.

 

And regarding standing in line, since most people stand 2 x 2, I've occasionally been "lapped" by a couple behind me (unconsciously, I presume) because as a solo passenger I couldn't fill/block the entire space around me.

[COMBOY]

Here's another question for all you seasoned solos? How do you handle the 'looks' from people when you're standing in that long, long, long line to check in? Or even worse if they ask you why you are all by yourself?

The cruise itself wouldn't bother me at all but I have to admit, the standing in line by myself sort of intimidates me. :(

 

I have to admit after 30+ cruise solo I this has never been an issue. Maybe it's different for a solo man, but why would anyone care if you are traveling by yourself. Some times I stare at people who look different or interesting, but I would never go up to some one and question their travel motives. I have two solutions to your line standing issue 1) bring a book, magazine or newspaper and read it in line or 2) arrive early and be the first to check in or wait and check in when there are no lines about 60-90 min prior to departure.

[AmoMondo]

I agree with the others, if there are looks, I'm oblivious to them. I'm perfectly happy travelling alone, in fact I prefer it and will tell people that if they ask. I travel more often than any of my friends and family can or want to and most are married anyway.

 

I do recall getting a look from a woman at an airport hotel restaurant last Friday whilst I was having dinner. When I caught her staring, she looked away and that was the end of that. I've no idea what she was thinking and frankly don't care. Her and her partner didn't look that upbeat, so she may even have been envying me for all I know.

 

Whatever you do, don't let fear of what others may be thinking putting you off doing something you want. We cannot control what others think or do but we can choose whether we allow it to impact us or not.

[GaryT-UK]

The looks get ignored, or I just smile at them and say "hi". If I'm asked why I'm on my own, I answer honestly -- that I'd rather travel on my own than stay at home. I'm not embarassed by traveling on my own, so I'm not embarassed to tell them why. I'd rather they ask than make up their own presumed reason, and I'd rather chat with people than stand silently alone.....I figure their asking is a way to open up conversation. So I tell them and move on to continue the chat.

 

 

I absolutely agree with this - I'm single & would rather travel alone than stay at home on my own - just be honest, people are often just curious. I can't imagine people being negative about it, though you do get the "you are brave ...." thing every now & then. I usually laugh that off, as after 9 cruises and a bunch of land based holidays on my own I know its nothing to do with bravery. Plus I used to get the same questions at home/work, but now I've re-branded myself as the guy who goes on lots of good holidays - now people ask where I'm off to next, not why I'm on my own!

[ALJ_cali]

Hi, I am new to this forum but have traveled solo as a middle-aged female to many countries. However, I have never taken a cruise as a solo before. I agree with the other posters that people are more into themselves than you. That being said, I tend to get a lot of stares (not mean, but curious looks) because I kinda look East Indian, but have a Canadian/New York accent. Since I'm an extrovert and over 50, the stares don't bother me.

[goduckies05]

Here's another question for all you seasoned solos? How do you handle the 'looks' from people when you're standing in that long, long, long line to check in? Or even worse if they ask you why you are all by yourself?

The cruise itself wouldn't bother me at all but I have to admit, the standing in line by myself sort of intimidates me. :(

 

I just say I am single and needed to get out of dodge. And mention cruising is a great value and go from there. Mainly got that is a great point.... as an answer. .. so nbd!

 

Sent from my SM-G900P using Forums mobile app

[goduckies05]

I guess the only unpleasant questions or inquiries I recall came from customs or immigration agents - NOT other passengers.

 

And regarding standing in line, since most people stand 2 x 2, I've occasionally been "lapped" by a couple behind me (unconsciously, I presume) because as a solo passenger I couldn't fill/block the entire space around me.

 

Yeah I got the third degree coming back on the Miracle in Feb to LA... But in May on the Imagination no big deal.

 

Sent from my SM-G900P using Forums mobile app

[AmoMondo]

Plus I used to get the same questions at home/work, but now I've re-branded myself as the guy who goes on lots of good holidays - now people ask where I'm off to next, not why I'm on my own!

 

Laughed at this part........it's so familiar. Like you, I used to get the questions from work colleagues about travelling alone, now they and friends and family just ask where I'm going next. My close friends have nick named me Judith! (for the benefit of those not of a certain age and from the UK, Judith Chalmers used to present a travel programme on the BBC called "Wish you were here")

[marcmarc2]

I'm getting looked at?

 

Are they single? :D

 

When at the terminal, nobody knows anything about anybody. For all they know, your traveling companion could be in the bathroom, parking the car, running late, or you're part of a group that will meet up on board.

 

As for me, I've chatted up new friends by the time I'm in the security line. When I'm chatting with someone new and the solo thing comes up, my pat answer/joke is that I'm very active on board and it would be difficult for traveling companions to keep up with me anyway. It's not easy for someone to make a big deal out of it if you're not making a big deal out of it.

[vacation luvver]

It's not easy for someone to make a big deal out of it if you're not making a big deal out of it.

I disagree with you.

I agree with the other posters that people are more into themselves than you.

I disagree with you, too.

I can't imagine people being negative about it

I guess since none of you have dealt with rude people trying to make you, a solo traveler, feel bad about being solo, not by staring but by actually doing or saying something mean, you figure that it never happens to anyone. Well, you're wrong.

 

Once, on a cruise, a man, who was standing next to his wife, asked me if I (a woman) was sharing a room with the cruise director (a woman). He said that he thought that I was, because once he saw me going in some direction and assumed that I was going to my room, and another time, he saw the cruise director coming from that direction and assumed that she was coming from her room, and the only explanation he could come up with was that we were sharing a room. Because the only reason a cruiseline would let a solo person book a cruise would be if he/she was willing to share a room with a cruiseline employee. And because a solo person would be too fearful to ask for a private room. I got the impression that he and his wife and discussed whether or not I was rooming with the cruise director, and he finally said that he was going to ask me.

 

On a tour (not on a cruise) to Mexico, we had a group breakfast the first morning. I found an empty seat and sat down and said hello to those sitting nearby. A man said to me, "You're alone? Where are your friends?" And he got up and moved away from the table so as to get a better look, and he looked and looked for my friends, because he knew that they had to be somewhere.

 

Also on that tour, a number of women made a point of telling me that traveling with a man was much better than traveling alone. it was so nice having a man around to do everything. On the last day, I was encouraged to travel with someone next time, because it was so much more fun than traveling alone.

 

These remarks did not bother me. The point I am making is that those people went out of their way to try to make me feel bad. They just didn't succeed. But I get tired of people saying that everyone thinks only about himself and couldn't care less is someone else is solo, or that married people are looking at solo people with envy, because it just isn't true. Some people deliberately go out of their way to make solos feel bad about being solo. It's silly to bury your head in the sand and pretend that this doesn't happen.

[calliopecruiser]

These remarks did not bother me. The point I am making is that those people went out of their way to try to make me feel bad. They just didn't succeed. But I get tired of people saying that everyone thinks only about himself and couldn't care less is someone else is solo, or that married people are looking at solo people with envy, because it just isn't true. Some people deliberately go out of their way to make solos feel bad about being solo. It's silly to bury your head in the sand and pretend that this doesn't happen.

 

I think the gist of what people have said is that it doesn't matter if it does happen - there are mean people who try to be mean all the time in the world, but it's not burying my head in the sand to say I haven't been bothered by any of it and pay it no mind.

[vacation luvver]

I think the gist of what people have said is that it doesn't matter if it does happen

No, no one here has said that it doesn't matter if it does happen. People have either said that no one has ever looked at them, or one person looked at them, or only customs officials, not other passengers, looked at them, or that people looked at them, but only because they were jealous of them. Who here has said that this person or that person said or did something rude, but it doesn't matter?

[calliopecruiser]

No, no one here has said that it doesn't matter if it does happen. People have either said that no one has ever looked at them, or one person looked at them, or only customs officials, not other passengers, looked at them, or that people looked at them, but only because they were jealous of them. Who here has said that this person or that person said or did something rude, but it doesn't matter?

 

Ahh......well, of course it could be that if they were content and not worried, they simply didn't notice if anyone looked at them rudely. To be honest, I probably wouldn't notice -- half the ship might have been looking at them rudely, and I wouldn't have noticed (and, as such, it wouldn't have mattered).

[GaryT-UK]

I guess since none of you have dealt with rude people trying to make you, a solo traveler, feel bad about being solo, not by staring but by actually doing or saying something mean, you figure that it never happens to anyone. Well, you're wrong.

I'm the one one who couldn't imagine people being negative. When I replied to the OP I was really thinking about the mostly normal people who go on holiday. In all my solo travels (on land and at sea) I've never experienced any nastiness because I was on my own, quite the opposite. So I have to hope you've just been really unlucky meeting such rude people and this is not the norm (hopefully others won't now prove me wrong!)

In answer to the thread though if someone accused me like that I would not feel the urge to respond politely!!!

I generally think when normal people ask why you are single or think you are brave its more out of curiosity than malice, because they can't imagine having to do that themselves. On my first foreign holiday with the guys there was a single lad on the bus to the hotel and I remember thinking I could never do that, little knowing it would be me 6 years later. He obviously made an impression though and now if I travel with friends - great, if I'm on my own - still great :)

As to getting looks in the queue, are you not looking at others while you are queuing too? I'm always looking for people my own age, friendly faces, or the not so friendly, and of course trying to spot other singles...who probably think I'm with the woman next to me in the queue and staring at them ;)

In the end so long as I go on holiday with the right attitude, aim to be firendly and polite, I can't really influence what others do. I meet plenty of rude and inconsiderate people at home, so they certainly aren't going to stop me enjoying my travels.

Edited May 30, 2014 by GaryT-UK

[Valen9]

These remarks did not bother me. The point I am making is that those people went out of their way to try to make me feel bad. They just didn't succeed. But I get tired of people saying that everyone thinks only about himself and couldn't care less is someone else is solo, or that married people are looking at solo people with envy, because it just isn't true. Some people deliberately go out of their way to make solos feel bad about being solo. It's silly to bury your head in the sand and pretend that this doesn't happen.

 

I did not say this did not happen. I am fortunate in that nothing as bad/blatant as what happened to YOU has happened to me. And with all due respect to GaryR-UK... this sort of thing happens much more often to women than to men. If you can stand to look at the Twitter feed #YesAllWomen, you might realize why a lot of us gals get the "you're so brave" comments. Traveling alone, especially at night, is on the list of things that gets followed with "well, she was asking for it".

 

What I was trying to do is to give reassurance to the OP that while this sort of thing *might* happen, it is not *certain* to happen and that you can yourself can control how it affects your cruise vacation. Vacation luuver, I hope you would agree that while these sort of questions can come up, it's not a reason why anyone should not cruise solo if that's what they want to do!