Cruise talks

[Hi de Hi]

I recently retired from a teaching career. On the cruises I have taken I frequently attend the talks and lectures provided (especially if the weather is iffy) and almost without exception the talks have been dire. Usually on presentation and frequently on content. So what I want to know is how do these lightweights get their gigs? I am pretty sure that given a laptop and a screen I could fill 30 minutes or more with stuff tens times as attention grabbing than the sort of stuff I have sat through on ships. The bloke on the Carnival cruise I have just returned from made watching grass grow look interesting! Any suggestions?

[Shmoo here]

I recently retired from a teaching career. On the cruises I have taken I frequently attend the talks and lectures provided (especially if the weather is iffy) and almost without exception the talks have been dire. Usually on presentation and frequently on content. So what I want to know is how do these lightweights get their gigs? I am pretty sure that given a laptop and a screen I could fill 30 minutes or more with stuff tens times as attention grabbing than the sort of stuff I have sat through on ships. The bloke on the Carnival cruise I have just returned from made watching grass grow look interesting! Any suggestions?

 

Why not contact the cruise line(s) you would be interested in speaking on? Find out how they handle the booking of onboard lecturers.

 

This is pretty good reading:

http://www.cruisecritic.com/articles.cfm?ID=1176

Edited September 19, 2016 by Shmoo here

[AdGuyMG]

The bloke on the Carnival cruise I have just returned from made watching grass grow look interesting! Any suggestions?

 

What was the bloke's topic?

[Hlitner]

We would not expect a decent lecturer on Carnival....but I am sure they do a great job with belly flop contests, diving for spoons, and hairy leg competitions. Nothing wrong with Carnival (we have had some good cruising on that line) but that is just the nature of that specific cruise line. If you take a long cruise on HAL, Crystal, or Cunard..you will get some decent lecturers.

 

Hank

[Shmoo here]

We would not expect a decent lecturer on Carnival....but I am sure they do a great job with belly flop contests, diving for spoons, and hairy leg competitions. Nothing wrong with Carnival (we have had some good cruising on that line) but that is just the nature of that specific cruise line. If you take a long cruise on HAL, Crystal, or Cunard..you will get some decent lecturers.

 

Hank

 

Sadly, not always. The lecturer we had on our Panama Canal cruise in 2013 gave exceedingly nap-inducing talks. Starting with his droning monotone voice. And his tendency to repeat what he'd already talked about in the last lecture.

 

That being said, I'll agree, for the most part, the lecturers we've had on cruises have been very informative. And some of them quite funny. I'm sure it has to do with their teaching style, as many of them were retired college teachers.

Edited September 20, 2016 by Shmoo here

[Hi de Hi]

What was the bloke's topic?

 

The one I went on was about the war of 1812 (we were doing New England). Most of the talk consisted of him putting up a slide of text then asking the audience a question, the answer to which was the title of the slide! There was also a lot of photos of himself standing outside a variety of Tim Horton restaurants! I gave his other talks a miss.

[John Bull]

We're talking here about lectures from invited guests, not port talks/excursion sales pitches by cruise staff.

 

I believe they give these talks in return for free or discounted cruises, though I don't know how they go about getting the bookings.

 

I've seen great talks - and I've also seen dire. Whether it's interesting is more about the speaker than the subject - just like guided tours, when a great guide can make a dull port memorable.

But sadly its illegal to throw the speaker to the fishes, so the ship is stuck with them til the end of the cruise.

 

But I always sit near a door, preferably at the back, so that I can slide out unobtrusively - very few ships have grass, but somewhere on most ships you can find some paint drying ;)

 

JB :)

[paul929207]

We sail on Princess mainly and find that most of the lecturers are entertaining. Yes, every now and then there is one that is boring.

[jocap]

One lecturer we sat with had an agent, who would phone to tell him which ship he was going on. He enjoyed his subject, and had free passage for himself and his wife.

One of the best I've heard was an Egyptian expert who gave talks to women's groups; a member of one group contacted a cruise line ( Thomson), who invited her on some Red Sea cruises.

The Cruise Director of a P&O ship suggested that someone in our party contacted Carnival House in Southampton with their details- that could be for Cunard and also Princess UK ships.

My husband took two services on board NCL ; his theme was St Paul as we were visiting several sites. This took a lot of work via Miami, and included computer images and full details of the services being sent over by email. This was all checked again by the CD on board, and she sat through both- just to make sure... at the end he was told that Miami would accept him again.

On a P&O ship with many sea days, they held "Speaker's Corner" I entered, along with many others, to give a 15 minute talk. I think that some of those could have been used by Carnival House. In fact, an injured soldier from the Afghan War was asked to give an hour's talk in a larger venue.

Good luck!- perhaps we'll see you out there..

[Flatbush Flyer]

I recently retired from a teaching career. On the cruises I have taken I frequently attend the talks and lectures provided (especially if the weather is iffy) and almost without exception the talks have been dire. Usually on presentation and frequently on content. So what I want to know is how do these lightweights get their gigs? I am pretty sure that given a laptop and a screen I could fill 30 minutes or more with stuff tens times as attention grabbing than the sort of stuff I have sat through on ships. The bloke on the Carnival cruise I have just returned from made watching grass grow look interesting! Any suggestions?

 

 

Like anything else in the travel service industry, there's a pecking order in shipboard lectures.

 

Tyros "cut their teeth" on mass market lines and the best of them audition for the premium/luxury lines. As one would expect, "the cream floats to the top."

 

We just got off Oceania Regatta where a retired California State University archeologist made our Panama Canal cruise a true learning experience. Likewise, an MD oceanographer with a mile long résumé was absolutely first class.

[SadieN]

Friend is an onboard lecturer. She was invited to send in a video resume (her lecturing) about 10 years ago and the rest they say 'is history'.

She gets a cabin (run of ship, including down with the crew), brings her husband or one of her children and pays crew rates for air travel. Sometimes she's able to get a discount on a second cabin.

Her next contract is a series of 14 day cruises.