Parents & Kids on different decks

[coupleofcops]

I am wanting a opinion about parents and kids on different decks. Currently we have rooms on the empress deck and the main deck. We are wanting to put our 15 and 13 in seperate room from my dh and I. We had thought of having the rooms moved to the same deck will cost us, alittle over 250.00 pp more.

 

Thanks,

 

Kay

[2112]

I would never have them in any room that wasn't right next to, or across the hall from me. In fact, I would be VERY surprised if the cruise line would even allow it. Why would it cost so much more? You could always downgrade from Empress to Main or am I missing something here?

[CC Help Michell]

I am wanting a opinion about parents and kids on different decks. Currently we have rooms on the empress deck and the main deck. We are wanting to put our 15 and 13 in seperate room from my dh and I. We had thought of having the rooms moved to the same deck will cost us, alittle over 250.00 pp more.

 

Thanks,

 

Kay

 

I agree, I would not sail with my kids more than a door or two away from me, let alone on a different deck (with kids the ages of yours -- with younger ones, only the same cabin or adjoining cabins would do). Everything else (monitoring the kids, easy accessibility during the night if one of them becomes ill, etc.) aside, it could result in your children being assigned to a different muster station/lifeboat than you and your DH. You wouldn't want that in an emergency situation. If you can't change the rooms, or if doing so is too expensive for the budget, then I would put one adult and one child in each room for the cruise duration.

[BethCarp]

That's your own comfort level really. But you could be on different levels and still closer (walking distance) than two cabins in the same level. I don't think levels make any difference. I personally don't think I'd have my kids in a room that wasn't within a few feet of mine.

[abitaturbodog]

Nope, I wouldn't do it either! In fact, we have 2 rooms on our Victory cruise and we plan on putting one adult and one child in each.

 

God forbid something happens to one of your children. You would never forgive yourself!

[rebeccalouise]

That age group is quite rebellious and silly. No offense. They need supervision just as much, in not more, than little ones. They are exposed to other teens and alcohol. I'd have them in connecting rooms- not just adjacent.

 

I know I am going to get flamed for this but I often wonder why parents pay for the nice cabin for them and then stick their kids in an inside cabin. Not saying that is the case here but I would hate to be in an inside cabin and wouldn't do that to my kids.

[BethCarp]

I know I am going to get flamed for this but I often wonder why parents pay for the nice cabin for them and then stick their kids in an inside cabin. Not saying that is the case here but I would hate to be in an inside cabin and wouldn't do that to my kids.

Maybe when the kids pay for the cabin, they can upgrade. :D When my kids are older (and I feel like I can trust them enough) I'll have no qualms about staying in a suite while my kids are in a nearby inside room. If they want a window or a balcony they can come over and borrow ours. I certainly wouldn't pay for two suites when my kids should be perfectly content in an inside.

[Fogfog]

My guess is your cruise line will want someone of age in that cabin if it far from the parents.

Our kids are across the hall this cruise. Our last cruise they were down the hall.

 

My only comfort is if my kids are in the same MUSTER STATION..just for peace of mind. Our boys are 12 and 14..and good kids--but also being too far away--ya never know what will amuse them (they are in an inside cabine for safety too)

 

Just my 3 cents (adjusted for inflation):D

[notentirelynormal]

Well, I must be a terrible parent because my kids were often in their own rooms. Sometimes they were close, sometimes on different decks. I taught my children to be responsible and they acted accordingly. I'm not so naive as to think they never did anything wrong, but at some point you have got to trust them and that you have done a good job yourself. At 15 the kid is almost old enough to work - three more years and they are considered an adult. What age would you consider your kids to be responsible? It is a personal parental decision of how to handle the raising of their children . The OP was not asking your opinion of whether she should do it or not, but whether on the same deck. By the way, my kids turned out just fine and weren’t scarred from the experience nor were they found running around the ship at 3 in the morning. They were the polite ones you passed in the hallways and that held the door open for you.

 

For booking purposes, you have to have one adult and one child in the room. Once you get on board, go to the pursers office and switch out the key cards so the kids have keys to their room and you to yours. I would also ask for an additional key to the kids room, that way you can enter it whenever you want. Talk to their room steward and let them know who you are and where you are. My kid’s steward would see my coming and run to open their cabin. Then he’d tell me exactly what they were doing and when. They didn’t stand a chance. He monitored them closely LOL.

[pms4104]

Talk to their room steward and let them know who you are and where you are. My kid’s steward would see my coming and run to open their cabin. Then he’d tell me exactly what they were doing and when. They didn’t stand a chance. He monitored them closely LOL.

Sorry, but I do not believe that monitoring anyone's children falls within the job description of the cabin steward. Lord knows those people work hard enough at housekeeping without having to be surrogate parents as well. JMHO

[notentirelynormal]

Actually I NEVER asked them to watch my kids. They did it on their own, which is why I thought it was funny. They didn't need "watching" but he'd always tell me, "they just went to the pool", or "she ordered room service". It was the room steward who made the choice to watch over them. Who knows, maybe he had kids the same age or other relatives and it made him feel better. I certainly wasn't going to chastise him for doing it.

 

However, telling him where your cabin is in conjunction with your kids is just common sense. Heaven forbid there was a reason he needed to find you, like DD twisted her ankle or something, at least the steward would know which deck to start at. At no time did I consider him my babysitter.

 

My kids have been on lots of cruises and some of the crew have seen them grow up. On our next cruise one the the dining staff even changed his time off so he could be on when we were.

[6rugrats]

The cruise line will not allow you to have children of these ages in a room alone without an adult.

 

Why you would think this was wise, even if the cruise line allowed it, which as already stated, they don't, is beyond me. Children of these ages still need lots of supervision!

 

Put one adult in each room, or next time, take a cruise where you can at least get connecting rooms.

[NoelsCat]

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable with my child(ren) on another deck -- another room, yes -- but close by to mine. That being said, I know plenty of 15 and 13 year olds who are responsible and I don't think that someone is a bad parent if they do -- it just wouldn't meet with my own personal comfort level. I would truly worry more about the vulnerability of other people who might notice they are alone in the room. However, that may simply be from my own life experience surviving a rape as a teen. It tends to make me overprotective.

[cruisead]

The ONLY time they will allow kids alone in a cabin is when the cabin is right next door or within one or two cabins across the hall. And to the poster who said they can trust a 15 year old, boy I really disagree with you. Fifteen year olds are easily led and all it takes is ONE bad kid to bring alcohol into your child's cabin, and then you have a problem. How do you know if your 15 year old brings a girl into the cabin when you're on a different deck? How will you know if other teens bring dope into your child's cabin when you're on a different deck? I know many parents who say "not my child, they behave". But believe me, we raised four boys and we learned the hard way the tricks they pull. We thought our boys were perfect, but when one was caught with other teens drinking on a ship, that was the end. Our son didn't buy the booze, but another teen did and there was big trouble. All you need is one bad kid, and there goes your perfect child. For me, the safety of my kids is worth more than having to spend a couple hundred dollars more to have them in a cabin nearby.

[CanadianTwosome]

The ONLY time they will allow kids alone in a cabin is when the cabin is right next door or within one or two cabins across the hall. And to the poster who said they can trust a 15 year old, boy I really disagree with you. Fifteen year olds are easily led and all it takes is ONE bad kid to bring alcohol into your child's cabin, and then you have a problem. How do you know if your 15 year old brings a girl into the cabin when you're on a different deck? How will you know if other teens bring dope into your child's cabin when you're on a different deck? I know many parents who say "not my child, they behave". But believe me, we raised four boys and we learned the hard way the tricks they pull. We thought our boys were perfect, but when one was caught with other teens drinking on a ship, that was the end. Our son didn't buy the booze, but another teen did and there was big trouble. All you need is one bad kid, and there goes your perfect child. For me, the safety of my kids is worth more than having to spend a couple hundred dollars more to have them in a cabin nearby.

 

I don't think it's impossible to know your kids, but I think some parents are unrealistic. I think it is very possible to know your kids well enough to feel secure that they will abide by the rules in a given situation. Having a key to the room and establishing a pattern of unscheduled drop ins can also deter unwanted behaviour. Keep in mind, though, that if a child is the type that would bring liquor or drugs into their own cabin, they'll be just as happy to follow someone into another cabin, which would actually be much more dangerous. The issue for being 'led astray' is definitely not isolated to children with their own cabins.

 

I don't see children having their own cabin as any different than having a bedroom on a different floor at home. If the family sticks together other than when it's bedtime, it really isn't much different at all (except for having your own bathroom!). On our last cruise, our daughter hooked up with another girl her age and pretty much every evening, the two of them would hang out in her cabin and watch movies or play games. My mother was in our cabin and they knew the number in case they needed to call her. They were very well behaved, as we knew they would be, because we know our kids.

 

We'll be taking walkie talkies on our next trip to maintain contact if we need to. I think it's a good idea in the event we're not in our cabin - on NCL the kid's crew doesn't allow children our daughter's age to sign themselves out - which is a good thing - so just having the convenience of being able to call us if she's done there is worth carrying them. I think if kids are going to be in a separate room, I would definitely pick up a set of good quality long range walkie talkies so you can be in touch wherever you are.

[miami]

I just think it's a bad idea. Parents who say "not my kid" are only fooling themselves. I've worked with high schoolers and know what they are capable of. I've even had my parents say oh, my Johnny would never do that. Oh, really, I saw him do it.

 

And there is a big difference being on different decks on a ship and in your house.

[SelectSys]

I am wanting a opinion about parents and kids on different decks. Currently we have rooms on the empress deck and the main deck. We are wanting to put our 15 and 13 in seperate room from my dh and I. We had thought of having the rooms moved to the same deck will cost us, alittle over 250.00 pp more.

 

Thanks,

 

Kay

 

We have either shared a room (when they were very young) or have had connecting cabins. We have paid more money for this privilege, but I feel more comfortable having everyone together. Having the kids on a different deck would start to make it feel like less like a family vacation to me. I would recommend radios if you split up on different decks.

[CanadianTwosome]

I agree, there are plenty of oblivious parents out there. That doesn't mean that every parent doesn't know their children, however. Should every parent assume that their children can't be trusted? Perhaps if they don't spend any time with their children and don't take an active role in their lives, that's the best plan.

 

Children will never learn responsibility if they are never given any. I'm not suggesting that children should be given the run of the ship and allowed total freedom, I just think sleeping in a different cabin is okay. Once they go to bed, they should stay there... and until they go to bed, they should be supervised. Any other kids they meet should be introduced, and their parents should be met - just like at home. A random bed check is also a good idea.

 

As I said, we allowed our daughter and her friend to stay alone in a cabin while my mother was one deck above in a different cabin. We checked on them regularly, and without warning, and they showed us that they were trustworthy. Should I have assumed that the minute we were out of sight they'd leave the cabin and get into trouble, because that's what 'all kids do'?

 

As for being on different decks being different than different floors in your house... yes, it is. I knew kids when I was a teenager that were able to easily sneak out of their houses without their parents ever finding out, getting into cars, drinking, and participating in other activities that often shocked me. Those same parents, who were 'secure' in thinking their children were safely tucked into their beds at home might have taken the time to check on their kids if they were on a cruise. As I said, I'm not suggesting dumping kids in their own cabin and then forgetting about them. Parenting doesn't stop just because your kids are in a different room, at home or away.

[Dengail]

Judgements aside, we have quite often had the kids stay down the hall from us...once we booked what we thought were cabins side by side in number but were really around a corner and a ways down a corridor. Only you know your comfort level and responsibility levels of your kids. Our kids simply are not trouble makers and are proud of the fact that we trust them. (but believe me, it's not blind trust:)...it's been earned).

[wentworth]

I just think it's a bad idea. Parents who say "not my kid" are only fooling themselves. I've worked with high schoolers and know what they are capable of. I've even had my parents say oh, my Johnny would never do that. Oh, really, I saw him do it.

 

And there is a big difference being on different decks on a ship and in your house.

 

 

You are so right. Your children will meet other children on the cruise and

even though you think your child wouldn't be tempted, you wouldn't know

until it was too late. Please do not place your children in rooms on a different deck. Maybe across the hall from you but not on a different deck. That would be like putting them in a different hotel with 3000

strangers.:o

[CanadianTwosome]

Saying parents are unrealistic for thinking they can trust their kids seems to be a common thread. Do those of you that feel that way really think it's any less unrealistic to think that the children who will be tempted to do things they know they shouldn't be doing will not find a way to do it if their room is across the hall or adjacent?

 

If you're not prepared to spend every waking moment with your children, then you have to trust them. What about other cabins? How about the 'bad seed' that they meet whose parents spend the majority of their time glued to a stool in the casino... leaving their cabin free to 'play' in with a full bar or other 'fun'? I'm not trying to scare parents here, I'm just saying that if the biggest reason for not having separate rooms is that you think the kids are going to do something they shouldn't, then you're kidding yourselves if you think having them closer will make a difference.

 

To me, it's a safety issue. If you spend the day using one cabin for everyone and only use the second one as a bedroom, then once the kids are in there, the door is locked and they stay in. Make sure there is a means of communication in case they need you, and check on them at least once before retiring yourselves, then go and 'pick them up' in the morning. As long as they know not to open the door to anyone else (just like at home when strangers come to the door), it's just a place to sleep.

[Debbers]

(and to be honest, I could not put them aside myself), what about general behaviour? Can you trust your children never to turn up the TV too loud, to talk loudly in the corridor, or to pound on the cabin door when the sibling is inside? This isn't criminal or dangerous behaviour, but it's obnoxious and will disturb the neighbors. My recollection of myself at this age, and my more recent recollection of my pretty good kids at this age, is that they need supervision. Be a parent. Keep your kids close by. They need to know that you care, and part of caring is keeping them in line. It has nothing to do with trust, and everything to do with being realistic about the lack of impulse control in the very young.

[rebeccalouise]

Kids have pillow fights, and jump from bed to bed. I know at 13 and 15 one wouldn't expect this but they are silly at this age too.

 

The cruise lines do not allow kids to book staterooms without an adult at least 21. So, you are breaking the rules if you allow your kids to sleep in a cabin alone.

 

That should answer the question. The cruise lines know it is a bad idea. Why don't you?

[CanadianTwosome]

All I can say is that I'm glad I didn't grow up with some of the posters here as my parents. My mother showed my sister and I trust and respect and we honored it. Not only can I say that we would never have done any of the things that people are suggesting 'all kids' will do, I can say unoquivocally that we did not. We didn't do it on cruises and we didn't do it on other vacations. We knew that we were lucky to be in all the wonderful places my mother took us and we acted accordingly. I think it's really sad that so many people expect so little from their children and others.

 

I think there are a lot of assumptions being made as well, not the least of which is that having separate rooms means that children will be unsupervised and out of control. Am I really the only one here that knows more good kids than bad? Again I ask, if you can't trust your children in their own cabin at this age, can you trust them elsewhere? Are children who are going to pound on doors or have pillow fights not going to do it if they're in a shared or closer cabin when their parents aren't with them?

 

To me, this thread has just turned into another 'kids misbehave on cruises' thread and it's very frustrating. If people had been able to focus on the safety and communications issue, which is all any of us can actually comment on, since we don't know the kids involved, it would have been different. But, instead, the most common theme is that this is a bad idea because kids WILL misbehave. Well, I'm going to say it... here it comes... and I feel comfortable saying it because I have the experience to back it up... NOT MY KID. :eek:

[kitty9]

Well, my parents thought I was the perfect child and they trusted me, and instilled good solid values, but there were times I did things that when I think of it now, were totally stupid. Regardless of how much you instill good behavior, make them earn your trust and all that, EVERY kid tests limits. I was an A student, never got into trouble and skirted getting caught doing stupid things, and my parents still think I was the perfect child. If they knew some of the stuff, they would probably have a coronary. I used to be a teacher and just about every kid did something that their parents would cringe over. It's myopic to sit and believe, no matter how much you want to believe, that your child has never done anything immature, and possibly illegal or downright stupid. It's a part of growing up to test limits and unless you've put your child in a monastery or cloister, they in all likelihood have done things that you'll never know about, unless it leads to their arrest or a visit to an emergency room.

 

As to the safety issue, as a teacher, I don't think a 13 or 15 year old have the cognitive skills to handle an emergency situation. If there were a fire or other emergency situation at sea, at least if you're within a few doors of your child's cabin, you'd have the time to get there and act as a parent regarding your child's safety. If your child is on another floor and there's an emergency, it could well be impossible for you to reach your child in time. Then you have the whole lifeboat issue. Do you really think it's a good idea for children to be assigned a completely different lifeboat, one that might be located on the port side while yours is on starboard?