Alcoholics cruising.... serious question.

[Evilgrin72]

I know they have Friends of Bill W. meetings and such on board the ships and I think that's great. If I'm traveling with someone who has just recently entered a program to quit drinking, is there a way I can have the cruise line (Carnival and Royal, in particular) mark this individual's card as "Do Not Serve" if it's on my credit card? I want this person to be treated as if he was under 21, even though he isn't. Not that I don't trust him, but I think it would be a lot easier if the temptation to drink (and it's EVERYWHERE ona a cruise ship) were removed.

 

Thanks in advance.

[emjsea]

That's an interesting question. I think you would have to call the cruise lines and ask them. That's not anything I've seen on a FAQ or heard of before. Somehow I doubt it would work, though, because I don't think a busy bartender would look that closely at the Sign & Sail card of someone who looks to be of age. And there would be so many opportunities for an alcoholic who is having that much trouble to drink that I don't think it would matter anyway.

 

I think you should discuss your concern with your friend, it's a honest one, and find out how comfortable he feels around the temptation. If it is going to be that hard for him, I think it might be torture and detrimental to his recovery to go at all. I know that's not a fun answer, but that's what I think.

 

I hope it works out!:)

[cb at sea]

If he's an adult, I don't think you can do that! Obviously, HE'S the one trying not to drink--and it's totally up to him whether he does or not! You can only support someone--you can't do it for them!

[GaryWT]

I hope all works out for you both. I would guess you need to be upfront with him in your plans or it will not work out well. One way that might be an option is to just not have charging added to his card, of course that would mean that you would need to get everything with your card but if you are both willing too then...

[concour]

On children's cards that are linked to your credit card you can limit how much is charged by day or total. I would imagine that would possible with adults but he could always go and asked that his credit card be used.

 

Having an immediate family members who has been through the program it might be better to wait on a cruise if he is an early stage of recovery

[Jiminkcmo]

One problem I can think of right away is that the bartenders usually don't do anything with the card until they've already served the drinks.

 

A little too late then.

[Northshorecruisers]

Sorry to say, but as an adult, whether he drinks or not needs to be his decision. It's something he will need to learn to adjust to and if he's not at that point yet, maybe he shouldn't go on a cruise at this time. Much of the program deals with accepting responsibility and being able to say "no" is part of that.

Besides, my 18 & 16 y/o were able to get drinks on Princess - so, where there's a will theres a way.

[GORDONCHICK]

I tend to think that a cruise isn't a good place for an adult who is in the beginning of recovery as well.

 

And until that adult thinks they are strong enough to choose every morning not to drink while surrounded (seemingly to them) by alcohol, there are many situations they should choose to avoid and skip the barrage of temptation completely. That timing is different for everyone.

[surfinggoofy]

It will be a huge challenge for him as people relax while on vacation and tend to have more drinks than they normally would back home; during the day by the pool; in port people sometimes really let loose, stay away from places like Senior Frogs and Margaritaville.

 

As the post said above; he will find a drink one one way or another by giving someone cash and asking them to by him a drink or grabbing a drink that someone did not finish.

 

 

:cool: It will be a great challenge but if he makes it what a huge step for him.

[CruisingJs]

Evilgrin72,

 

I've been cruising with a sober alcoholic for the last 10 years. In fact, on our last cruise, we were with five A.A. couples...me, I love my glass of wine. :rolleyes: I agree with the above posters. You can't make an alcoholic's decisions for them. You can only make your own. If you don't think this person is ready for this kind of test, have them discuss it with their sponsor and take responsibility for their own decision. One word of warning, our group had to request a lot of desserts made special because so many of them have liquor poured over them. Hope you have a wonderful, worry-free cruise.

[lady_cruiser]

You are a good friend if you want to go to this extreme to take the temptation away from him. Find out if there is a Bill W group on your cruise and ask them to help you & your friend with the support he will need. He has a long, hard road ahead of him and he is lucky to have you standing behind him trying to help him get through his chapter in his life.

[surfinggoofy]

One more thing; even if you could get a do not serve on his card; he could tell the bartender it was a mistake and then what?? Would the bartender be responsible for his actions? Not fair; his job is not to serve minors.

 

That would not be fair to the bartender? Just a thought.

 

I am sure it will all work out. Have a fun cruise

[snowskier]

If you really would like to support your traveling companion on the road to recovery I suggest you seek answers to your qeustions from a local Alanon group. The opinions of Cruise Critic members are valuable input but a message board will not provide the information and support you will need to be a part of your traveling companion's recovery from the disease of Alcoholism. Recovery isn't about not drinking on a cruise.

 

As others have mentioned -- you can't stop an alcoholic from finding a drink if they want one. In fact, I had to smile when I read your post. After many years of sobriety I actually started thinking about this as a challenge. I quickly figured out all the ways I could find that drink - and that is a scary thought for anyone in recovery.

 

I hope you take care of yourself first and have a wonderful cruise.

 

Snowskier

[mrsraggy]

Hi,

:)

Take your Big Book, take any other materials you have and read, read, read. Go to the Bill W. meetings on board. Stay out of the bars. Enjoy some of the delicious mocktails offered poolside so you don't fell deprived. Say the serenity prayer over and over to yourself throughout the day. Congratulate yourself after each sober day. It's just 24 hours at a time. Take it easy. You can do it. God Bless.

 

Karin:)

[6rugrats]

I note original post was on 01 April. Was this post an April Fool's joke?

 

Any newly sober person should not be cruising. They should be working on their program. And you obviously don't trust this person or you wouldn't ask. You can't micromanage a person's alcohol consumption.

 

I am having a hard time taking your post seriously.

[Rob & Beckys mom]

We took our son & a friend on a cruise to celebrate his first year clean and sober. Wouldn't recommend it any earlier based on our experience only.

 

Jan

[ehfl]

I doubt it. Best to just have him stick with the Friends of Bill crowd, and talk to them if he gets tempted. Go to the first meeting, and stay with them.

[pris993]

Those new to recovery need to go to 90 meetings in 90 days. They need to avoid situations that will cause problems. Only the person and their sponsor can determine whether a cruise fits with their recovery.

[Rob & Beckys mom]

Those new to recovery need to go to 90 meetings in 90 days. They need to avoid situations that will cause problems. Only the person and their sponsor can determine whether a cruise fits with their recovery.

 

Very well put, I agree :D

[bluesea777]

Easy .... on recent NCL cruise our 13 yo son (like all other kids) had one corner of his cruisecard cut off to indicate he is not to be served any alcholic drinks.

 

Also I did notice a mid-teen guy also had the back of his cruisecard permanent-marked with a big X incidating that no charges are to be made on his cruisecard.

 

NCL does have daily Friends of Bill W. meetings in the mornings, as well as late evening Friends of Dorothy meetings.

[Sailor Gal]

On all the cruises we've gone on consuming and purchasing alcohol is a very big part of the cruise experience and it is pushed by the staff onboard as soon as you board as well as during meals and even in the shops onboard. In some ports there is a big emphasis on alcohol (especially Cozumel) and buying alcohol at discount prices. Free samples are even given out in some of the cruise terminals upon boarding (ex. San Juan). A cruise just seems like a bad place to be if alcohol is a problem. There is so much temptation. It's difficult to avoid.

[vickiw0318]

Okay, double winner here (meaning I belong to both AA and Al-Anon) who has been cruising since I was about five years sober.

 

I personally agree that cruising in early sobriety would be tough to handle, but having been to many Friends of Bill W. meetings on board, I know that there are people who have done it quite successfully. These people have made contact with the Friends of Bill asap and get phone numbers (i.e. cabin numbers) to use in emergencies. They are emailing their sponsors and paying the $2.00 + per minute cell phone charges to call friends at home if need be. It is totally up to your friend to make that decision - i.e. can he handle a cruise. Many of us older in sobriety folks go to the Bill W. meetings for just that reason - to be there for someone that is new.

 

BTW, Royal Caribbean is a better cruise choice (to me) because they do have so many non-alcholic choices and the waiters are usually carrying the rum bottle separate from the trays of the drink of the day. The bartenders have always been happy to fix me a non-alcholic frou-frou drink.

 

I have also been surprised over the years that not many of my tablemates have been drinkers. The bar waiter comes by and asks politely and leaves when we say no. As for alcohol everywhere, I guess I cruise "quieter" than some out there, but I manage to have a great time on board. I have never had a staff member push alchohol on me if I said no thanks.

 

Now to my Al-Anon hat. Please believe me when I say that fully understand your wishing to get in there and remove all temptation. But, you can't. The alcoholic has to live their live and you have to live yours. I have tried to do that with an alcoholic in my life - i.e. try to control his choices - and it only drove me crazy. It is hard as h*** to learn to let go. If you are not going to Al-Anon meetings, please give them a try. You have to take care of yourself too.

 

The meetings onboard are called the Friends of Bill W. for a good reason. It's not a "board approved" AA meeting. I have been to meetings on board with members of Al-Anon and Overeaters Anonymous. (Can you think of a worse place than a cruise ship for a member of that last organization?) If you need to go, go. They won't be able to fix your alcoholic if he is drinking because we have all learned that the alcoholic has to be the one that asks for help, but you can get help you need to get through it.

[CRUISEMANIA99]

The drinks on the cruise ships are so watered down, there is barely any alcohol in them. Don't worry.

[Happy ks]

The drinks on the cruise ships are so watered down, there is barely any alcohol in them. Don't worry.

 

This response has me totally baffled. I suppose some people have absolutely no grasp on the issue :rolleyes:

 

I've always been of the mind that an alcoholic needs to be responsible for their own decisions. The OP is setting themself up for a disaster by trying to control anyone elses choices.

 

Support, yes....control....you're just asking for trouble. Not with just alcoholism either, no adult enjoys another one trying to control their decisions. Treat others how you yourself want to be treated.

[Evilgrin72]

I note original post was on 01 April. Was this post an April Fool's joke?

 

Any newly sober person should not be cruising. They should be working on their program. And you obviously don't trust this person or you wouldn't ask. You can't micromanage a person's alcohol consumption.

 

I am having a hard time taking your post seriously.

 

It's my nephew, who's in his mid 20s. I am taking a number of family members on a cruise in September and just found out he has a drinking problem and he started going to meetings 2 weeks ago. I don't want to dump the kid from the cruise... but the concern is if he's walking around late night with what amounts to a "free booze" card, there might be temptation to drink. Of course I understand that neither I nor my brother and sister-in-law can micromanage his consumption. I had hoped that maybe if we were able to remove the ability to procure alcohol, that the thoughts/temptations wouldn't be there. Surely, any addiction is easier to manage if the option of relapse is essentially removed.

 

It's not a matter of trust, it's a matter of trying to manage a situation for a kid with a heart of gold, and a problem so I don't have to leave him home while the rest of the family spends a week in the Caribbean.

 

With all due respect, if you can't take my post seriously, that's fine, but can you just move on instead of announcing your suspicions? I don't get the need to do that. There are people here trying to help.