An EPIC Cruise to the Canary Isalnds with Walking Difficulties

OK it’s time to review 6 and I’s latest cruise on NCL Epic out of Barcelona to Tangier Morocco, Canary islands off African coast and Madeira. This cruise corresponded with school Easter holidays as am limited as to when can cruise and it was the chance of some warmer weather on a different itinerary to EPIC’s usual 7 night offerings around the Med.

apology for mis spelling Islands -can edit main text but not title!

If you haven’t read any of my previous reviews it will be tongue in cheek and particularly focusing on aspects for the mobility challenged. I use initials to anonymise fellow passengers and there are no pictures. There are 2 reasons for this

1 anonymous as above

2 my holiday snaps are just that-not worthy of publicising when others do so well

So why the nickname 6?

You may remember a popular TV series in the 1970’s called the Bionic man or the 6 Million Dollar Man as it was known in the UK. Well the hero Steve Austin was rebuilt better, stronger, faster after a serious accident and the cost of his bionics was 6 million dollars.

In his mid forties darling husband was struck with a form of inflammatory arthritis which has affected most joints in his body .His 2 metal hip replacements so far cost nearer 6 thousand than million so have nicknamed him 6.(No I don’t look anything like Jamie Sommers much to his regret but we have been married almost 30 years so we must see something in each other!)

As usual I include pre cruise info as travel includes wheelchair assistance at airports and we have found that can vary considerably so give info on that.

We booked a fly stay package at the airport as we had an early morning flight the next day. Not only that but the clocks went forward an hour that night as British summer time begins.

So early to bed and the fire alarms went off twice during the night!!!!

So sleep deprived we set off for the airport. We had booked wheelchair assistance but at check in decided wouldn’t require it until time to get on the plane as only a small airport .However wheelchair assistance does give a shorter route through security and that is always time consuming.

6 takes weekly injections of an anti inflammatory drug which needs to be kept refrigerated and should not be subjected to X rays .We keep it in a frio insulin pack and have a doctors letter explaining the no X rays and should be examined manually.

Unfortunately the lady at security took both and went to find her boss and managed to mislay the drug pouch-it was later found in the blue tray about to go through with the next x ray batch!

Crisis averted we headed to the sanity of the pre booked airport lounge for complimentary snacks-orange juice and croissants well appreciated but bit early for the wine and beer at 6am[effectively 5am due to clocks going forward]

At 7am we headed to gate 1 as instructed and picked up the courtesy phone for wheelchair assistance

A few minutes later 2 men with yellow hi visibility jackets approached us accompanied by an airline official who scanned our passports and boarding cards. Hi Vis guys suggested we wait in the coffee shop as gate not yet announced and they would collect us when it was.

“We now know what you look like “ one said

We are a pretty distinctive looking couple. I am short with long white hair and 6 is medium height with long greying blond hair and a beard and walks with a limp and a walking stick-think they will remember us!

10 minutes later the same 2 guys collected us and led us onto a wheelchair adapted minibus which could seat at least 12-there was only us ! A drive of a couple of hundred yards to the plane where we had to wait a few minutes as the captain not yet on board. It meant we were first on the plane and able to settle in.

I’m not sure why it took 2 guys to accompany us but in contrast when we landed in Barcelona a couple of hours later we were met by a single guy with a wheelchair who whisked us through the airport and to our pre booked taxi. After putting clocks forward an hour night before we had to put them forward another hour as European time zone an hour ahead of UK.

We were met in the arrivals hall by a guy in a suit holding up a card with my name on it[although I had suddenly become a mister] He collected our luggage and led us to a brand new Mercedes and provided bottles of water for us. Then a trip to our central Barcelona hotel. This service cost 37 euros in contrast to a regular taxi at the rank which would have cost around 33 euros. I would certainly book this service again.

We had booked Hotel Indigo near Pl Catalunya as a free reward stay and were pleasantly surprised to be upgraded to an executive room. This was lunchtime so rooms not yet available but they stored luggage for us and the helpful receptionist agreed to translate the doctors letter into Spanish in case of any issues with security x rays at the port the next day.

We went to sit in the sunshine in the hotel courtyard and recognised C who was organising the meet and greet by her facebook profile! We had already agreed to meet her and her friend K for a meal that night in the hotel so we stopped and chatted for a couple of hours.

A group from the roll call were meeting at a tapas bar off Las Ramblas that night but would be too far for 6 to walk and awkward to get taxi to and from. Anyway by 9.30 we were exhausted after a long day and headed to bed-Cruise tomorrow!

Looking forward to reading more. We were originally booked on this cruise but had to cancel as DH was having several surgeries and the possibility of 2 more, and I was concerned about his ability to go, let alone enjoy himself.

I was also concerns about hordes of children once I figured out it was an Easter holiday break in the UK.

Looking forward to reading more. We were originally booked on this cruise but had to cancel as DH was having several surgeries and the possibility of 2 more, and I was concerned about his ability to go, let alone enjoy himself.

 

I was also concerns about hordes of children once I figured out it was an Easter holiday break in the UK.

We enjoyed the cruise but there were issues relating to children and service in the bars not being up to NCL usual high standard but will get to that in due course:)

hope reading this lets you live the cruise you never managed and hope your husband is doing OK

We checked out and hotel called us a taxi to the port.It cost 23 euros for the short distance-mainly extras such as 2 euros per bag and delays in the port dropping us off due to the long taxi line waiting to enter and a ticking meter!

There was the Epic in front of us-we had sailed on her 5 years previously for our 25th wedding anniversary but couldn’t remember much about her. This was before I started writing reviews to relive the cruise once over!

We were guided through handicap line for security and no issues at all with his medication-guy didn’t even look at the translated letter but understood enough English to understand the no X ray request.

We headed to platinum latitudes check in desk but was slow moving as only 2 desks dedicated and on one the computer terminal had packed up

So they started calling people to the adjacent casinos at sea line and a punch up nearly resulted as people from head of both platinum and casinos stepped forward at the same time!

We got to the desk and handed our cards-I noted UBP was already stamped on them-no additional sticker to collect on ship which happened on our previous cruise. We also had boarding card number 3 so as was now 11am knew wouldn’t have long to wait and took a seat in the terminal

At 11.20 boarding card 1 was announced but not much movement-obviously mostly Haven guests who were in their own lounge .At 11.30 they announced groups 1 through 3 and a crowd surged forward. This is always a tricky time for 6 getting caught in a crowd as if he is jostled he can be easily knocked off balance. In future may consider wheelchair assistance onto the ship to avoid this.

Just before boarding the ship a lady with a clipboard noted his walking stick and enquired as to name and cabin number-we later got a letter informing us where to meet for wheelchair assistance at disembarkation.

There was a bit of a delay as they had set up an additional Xray machine after the scan your key card on board but before being allowed into the ship interior .Some peoples carry on luggage only just fit into it! Personally we had a small rucksack with essentials!

On board properly it was 11.50 so we got our priorities right and headed for O Sheehans for lunch and our first Prosecco.

We usually purchase the corks and caps package being mainly wine and beer drinkers but this time we had the ultimate Beverage Package as a free perk as it seemed did most of the ship.

Whether it was because of this but this is the first time we have noticed bar service not being up to NCL usually excellent standards

We spend quite a lot of time in the ship bars on holiday but it’s not about getting blind drunk.

We usually find a musician playing or during the day like to people watch with drink in hand.

Usually 6 has quickly identified his favourite bar waiters who quickly recognise our preferences and almost have the next drink waiting for us before we’ve finished the present one! They are also usually amenable for a chat whilst still being alert to other customers around.

However something was just not right this cruise and I hope this is a one off. It is certainly the first time I haven’t filled in a vacation hero card for at least 1 bar waiter

Anyway we were on board ship early enough to have a chance at a POSH pass but decided not to do so .As it happens the weather wasn’t consistently good enough to have benefitted from it.

12.30 we parted ways-6 to check out a potential favourite bar and me to explore the ship.

I decided to burn off a few calories by taking the stairs from 6 to 14 and realised how unfit I am! I decided that taking the stairs from bottom to top at least twice a day would be my workout.

I had pre purchased a thermal spa pass[only me-6 doesnt “do “ spas so called off at the Mandara spa for my sticker and an orientation tour

Spice H2O had a few people sitting around-it was overcast so t shirt weather when walking around but needed a jacket to sit out

The main pool area was very quiet with just a few kids braving the waterslides .I found the quiet sundeck area on deck 18 which would hopefully get the chance to utilise for some sun as hadn’t gone for a POSH pass.

Then surprise surprise I located 6 in the atrium bar and noted the ship was starting to fill up.

I spotted a lonely looking lady at the spa table in the atrium so went over to chat to her .I was just being sociable but did have a medical need as had laid wrong on my left shoulder the night before and was aching .Rosalie suggested the special offer of 10/20 /30 where if you booked 3 treatments those were the discounts you got off each consecutive treatments. Wel had some OBC to spend and had already pre paid gratuities, pre purchased thermal spa pass and had free UBP .So I was completely justified in booking a series of hot stone massages!

As the cabins were ready around 1.30 we went to check out our cabin12185 which is a large balcony created by the shape of the outside of the ship adding an extra triangular shape to the balcony .There were only the regular 2 chairs out there and the small table but room for at least 1 lounge chair.

We also found our platinum latitude vouchers with offer of free meal at le Bistro or as an alternative La Cucina .Our first experience of Le Bistro a few cruises ago was disappointing[OK food is subjective but was too heavily loaded with garlic for my taste and slow service]

So we have since used the alternative offered restaurant of Moderno and were disappointed this wasn’t an option this cruise.

We are by no means “foodies” and prefer plain food served in a timely fashion so we can get to the main entertainment of the evening-usually a bar musician and never eat in the speciality restaurants unless we have a free voucher for them.

The muster drill was 4.30 and I got there a good while before6-he had got stuck on the stairs behind a group of people chatting and holding up the line behind them.

Our assigned muster station was the Casino and this must be the worst possible place for a place to meet in an emergency. We are used to meeting at a restaurant /theatre etc not actually outside the ship but in a real emergency the Casino is just not fit for purpose!

The muster station placards were hidden by the high slot machines so many people couldn’t see the safety demonstration and before that it was a bottleneck with people trying to squeeze past to get to their own muster station and no seating unless on the slot machine stools.

If called there in a situation where the ship was sinking I would be looking at all those machines connected to electricity and would be more concerned about being electrocuted than drowning if sea water was flooding in-surely NCL you can find a more suitable muster point!

Also in a real emergency when you cant use the lifts how are wheelchair bound people going to get to their muster station?

Anyway muster over most people headed for the lifts/elevators causing congestion so headed for the stairs for my second workout of the day from 6 to 14 and my first hot stone massage

75 blissful minutes later I headed for the cruisecritic sailaway party at 7pm at spice H2O

This had been a very active roll call with a few eccentric characters[OK I admit to being one]

As a meet up recognition it was suggested not only mardi gras beads but knotted hankies on head

Those of us who were children in the 1960/70 can remember our grandfathers beach attire on cold UK beaches in the height of summer .It consisted of white vest rolled up trousers possibly socks with sandals but definitely a white linen handkerchief knotted at 4 corners to create a sunhat to protect balding heads from sunburn[this was pre baseball caps]

I found a pack of handkerchiefs in our local supermarket with superman logo on so that had to be our hankies!

A lot of the group had already met at the tapas evening the night before but we connected with L who was travelling solo but with whom we would be sharing a couple of private tours.

She was drinking a Mohito so as we had the UBP decided this was the time to tryout cocktails .Unfortunately I got a different bartender to her and whereas she had a sprig of mint in hers I had chopped mint which stuck to my teeth-not an attractive look!

We left to find something to eat to soak up the alcohol but dropped stuff off at the cabin first. I managed to head the wrong way and did a long loop of the ship which 6 didnt appreciate !That ship is big .

By this time our platinum gifts of chocolate covered strawberries sparkling wine and Godiva chocolates had been delivered but we would to collect our ship pins from the cruise consultants desk in the atrium

The sparkling wine we kept for our post cruise hotel as with the UBP we didn’t lack alcohol options

The chocolates and turn down chocolates we collected for our daughters fiance [soon to be abbreviated to my son in law] as he is one of those typical 20 odd year olds who can indulge a sweet tooth without putting on weight!

But the chocolate covered strawberries were too much temptation for me!

OK 3 flights of stairs from 6 to 15 in mitigation tomorrow!

After a quick snack in Garden cafe 6 needed to sit down after I had taken him on the long way round the ship earlier!

We ended up in Shakers bar where a duo vocalist and guitarist we recognised from a previous cruise Duo Luna. Her voice was struggling which gave first hint of throat/chest infections onboard which would result in many people disembarking with full blown colds[us included]

We had a good singalong-although 6 says there is nothing good about my singing voice and we headed to bed about 1am[usual hometime bedtime is 10pm!]

Love your review ! We left the ship on the day you boarded , a lot of people were sick on the last 2/3 days on our cruise.My husband and I did an about turn every time someone started coughing .

Enjoying your review. Love your writing style.

Can't wait to read more of your review, but hopefully the foreshadowing of some not so great things were only minor issues for you.

We enjoyed the cruise but there were issues relating to children and service in the bars not being up to NCL usual high standard but will get to that in due course:)

 

hope reading this lets you live the cruise you never managed and hope your husband is doing OK

Still following! :)

Can't wait to hear the meat & potatoes (the ports). My husband is doing better than expected, thank you for your good wishes, but I am still hesitant for him to go too far from his doctors (Our upcoming cruise to Bermuda is only a 2-hour flight back to the US mainland).

Enjoying the review, looking forward to more.

Enjoying your very detailed review/report.

Keith

With the clocks going back yet again it meant a lie in and woke to blue skies.

After a quick breakfast at O Sheehans it was time for the Meet and Greet. As mentioned this had been a very active roll call and around 90 people attended.

Several people got involved organising various events apart from the Meet and Greet itself-thanks everyone for your efforts you know who you are!

A good attendance of officers and was pleased to recognise Pedro Serra as cruise director from a previous cruise who had grown a beard but otherwise still has distinctive taste in diamond patterned jumpers! I had organised the meet and greet on that back to back cruise and we had a total of 5 people attending each-we were outnumbered 2 to 1 by officers!

We got to know him quite well on that cruise and always found him to be warm and friendly .

With such a large attendance on this ship it meant only got to meet in person a small percentage and concentrated on identifying our tourmates for port stops and swapping cabin numbers and meet up places.

There then followed a gift exchange which proved very successful as people had brought along gifts to represent their home country-ranging from tartan Scottish Tam o Shanters to fridge magnets and sweets.

Next was a cabin crawl including inside and studios large balcony aft balcony and mini suite.

I left 6 behind as involved a lot of walking but managed to find him easily enough in O Sheehans with a glass of Prosecco. The guy beside him at the bar though had a whisky glass in front of him but was fast asleep! He was later seen staggering and bumping into furniture.

There will always be people who will abuse drink packages but to be honest we have seen drunk people before advent of UBP being freely available. The main problem we experienced was getting served in the first place-the bar waiters were distracted and more interested in collecting empty glasses than checking to see who needed serving .Even going up to the bar could sometimes still be difficult to catch bartenders eye and there was a lot of impatient tapping of keycards on the bar top to attract attention.

After lunch the skies were still blue and 16 degrees C but the pool deck was busy. I found plenty of spare loungers on deck 18 and settled in with my kindle. I spent about an hour but was conscious with the breeze there was a high risk of getting sunburnt.

Returning to the cabin I found Noel our cabin steward had delivered a lounger as requested but as balcony was in shade too cool to use it. Actually I didn’t get the chance to use the balcony as much as expected this cruise.The weather wasn’t too good and with the overhangs above balcony even when sun was out there were limited hours when balcony got some sun.

So it was time for my first trip to the Thermal Spa where found a padded lounger open to the air and overlooking the aft-very relaxing listening to the waves and watching a school of dolphins following the ship.

Tonight was Norwegian night out so got slightly dressed up in a maxi dress and settled in early evening at Maltings bar to listen to Paulo a guitarist and vocalist.

9.30 we headed to Cavern Club to listen to Starlights band

We had seen this 4 piece Romanian rock band a few months earlier on the inaugural Escape from Hamburg to Southampton. They are very good but the venue of 5 o clock Sometime bar on Escape had so many design faults for a music venue they had been playing to very low numbers-on one occasion it was the band, bar waiters and us 2!!!

Fortunately this venue was much better and they were getting the audience numbers they deserved.

At the end of the set I introduced ourselves to Cornell the guitarist/vocalist and for some reason he remembered us!

6 and he entered into an enthusiastic discussion of guitars and Cornell brought over his guitar to show his modifications

Phrases such as

Di Marzio evolutions

Scalloped fretboard but only on 2 frets

Selector switch

Dual or single coil operation

All went straight over my head but thought that our son P would have been in his element with this musical conversation.

So 2.30am finally got to bed!

We wore woken briefly by disembarkment notices but soon dropped back off to sleep

We had already decided to make this an on board day as didn’t fancy the jostling and over enthusiastic culture of market stall holders.

However there were a lot of private tours organised on the roll call for this port and talking to people afterwards most people did enjoy the port. However I think we made the right decision for us as they described hills and awkward walking conditions. One lady had her mother in a wheelchair and struggled with the hills.

Our view of the port showed a very industrial looking city so you would have to venture off board to get to some local culture.

I found a vacant sun bed on deck 18 and settled down to enjoy some sunshine. However as with the previous day there was a breeze so danger of getting sunburnt easily. I had noticed several bright red people the night before prompting the rumour that lobster was on the menu but to be found on the sun decks not the dining rooms.

Heading back to the room we bumped into our cabin steward and reported the multiway tap in the sink wasn’t running cold-not pleasant brushing your teeth in warm water!

Noel said the previous cabin occupants reported the water not running hot so obviously maintenance had attempted a makeshift repair that went the other way!

However a couple of hours later when we returned the tap was running both hot and cold water so thumbs up to fast service.

We had a lazy day on board but tried out my new fitness regime of taking stairs from decks 6 to 12 to collect something from the cabin. It was then I realised that my keycard was not on my lanyard so straight back down to find 6 holding up my card-had forgotten to give back to me after producing for drinks at bar.

Well I was out of breath so not climbing those stairs again so took the lift!

The balcony was in sunshine for the first time so used the lounge chair for ½ hour before heading for my second hot stones massage with Rosalie.

The massage was great but she started giving me the hard sell afterwards about purchasing the massage oil .

I smiled sweetly and explained that our daughter works in retail and can get Elemis products at 40% discount which she accepted with good grace.

Actually the muscle soak she was suggesting using each day smelled like horse linament-I will end up divorced if wear before going to bed and if use in the morning am going to find it difficult to get close to people at work!

Feeling wonderfully relaxed I joined 6 in the atrium and listened to Duo Luna who were attracting several people up to dance including our future tour mates D and K who we nicknamed Fred and Ginger as they took to the dance floor at every opportunity

By this time we had headed out into the Atlantic and the ship was noticeably rocking!

We finished the night off at Maltings with Paulo and his guitar-a relatively early night at 1am to bed

Woke up to the ship still rocking-I headed to the Thermal Spa and it was an interesting experience in the therapy pool with water sloshing around in waves!

It was cloudy and cool out so no sunbathing today

6 headed out to listen to the ships officers presentation of how to run a floating hotel but headed back to the cabin early as it was too hazardous an environment for him roaming the ship.

With the ship movement people were staggering all around the place and he is unable to take evasive action!

I wrote out notes for 5 different groups of tour mates and my daily exercise to deliver them-they were about as far from each other as is possible-In D and K case if they were any further forward on the ship they could help the Captain on the Bridge!

We took part in the name that Rock tune trivia hosted by Pedro and music notes by the Starlights and our intrepid team of 2 scored 38/50-not enough to win but 6 doesnt agree that some of the artists can be classed as Rock!

With the UBP we used the opportunity throughout the cruise to try cocktails

So far frozen Margarita,Mohito and Sex on the Beach got a thumbs up and Paloma a thumbs down

Then we discovered Rebellious Fish which would be the cruise favourite

With people congregating inside O sheehans bar was getting crowded and couldn’t attract attention for a drink so headed for Maltings and found a seat outside the Barber shop.

I picked up the male grooming leaflet and tried to tempt 6 with the pick any 3 for $75

Beard and eyebrow tidy up-needed but refused

Neck and shoulder massage-No

Gents wet cut-dont even think about it

Foot massage-he has tickly feet

Hand and arm massage-cant straighten out due to arthritis in elbow joints

Eye booster treatment to help with puffiness and dark circles and fine lines-now he’s looking at me as if I have 2 heads

Actually him sitting there with his long scruffy hair and beard and ungroomed eyebrows not to mention red dry complexion was probably driving away business so when one of the receptionists came over to us thought she was going to chase us off!

But no it was Jocelyn one of the Thermal Spa receptionists who recognised me from my visits there and we chatted a while Apparently it was touch and go that morning whether to drain the therapy pool with the water sloshing around. Actually that was one health hazard I noted in the Thermal Spa area-wet floors and bare feet means very easy to slip-wear flip flops!

Tonight was the latitudes wine and cheese party and several officers present

I could tell that Pedro hadn’t recognised us earlier in the day but seeing us walk in together obviously switched on the lightbulb as his face changed and he welcomed us back –from then on if we bumped into him he made sure to acknowledge us

There were a large number of guests and the acoustics of Bliss lounge along with a dodgy microphone meant were unable to hear most of the officers welcome. There was no prize draw so 6 still hasn’t had to chance to win one of those coveted NCL lanyards!

We had reservations at Le Bistro for one of our free platinum meals so headed there.

We got a seat next to the window and being on level 5 got an up close view of the rough waves but didn’t affect my appetite.

I didn’t fancy any of the starters as don’t like soup or seafood but the waitress was happy to arrange an off menu alternative of melon and fruit.6 had soup and said it was good

Our previous experience at Le Bistro I had coq au vin but found it too heavily seasoned and garlicky for my taste-6 had that and enjoyed it but when I tried a bite again not to my taste.

I did however enjoy my beefsteak so shows how subjective food taste is

We thought we were going to offend the waitress by refusing dessert so we managed ice cream!

We headed for Howl at the Moon which although entertaining the musicians were not as good as others we have seen

However when heading for the toilets/restrooms I missed the opportunity of a lifetime

Looking for the facilities a very good looking young man in a suit asks me “you looking for me darling”

To which my ultra cool reply was “no I’m looking for the toilets”

He was one of the singers in the Epic theatre that night!

After missing out on the opportunity to acquire a toy boy we bailed out on Howl at the moon when even after 11pm lots of kids were still milling around and parents oblivious to the adult theme after that time

In fact the parents were trying to hold a conversation in a loud music entertainmentvenue by yelling at each other to be heard above the music!

We headed to the Cavern Club and the Starlights to finish off the night and 6 gets an acknowledgement from Cornell-we are officially famous[or is that infamous!?]

Woke up to the ship still rocking

 

 

We headed for Howl at the Moon which although entertaining the musicians were not as good as others we have seen

 

 

 

We headed to the Cavern Club and the Starlights to finish off the night and 6 gets an acknowledgement from Cornell-we are officially famous[or is that infamous!?]

I am enjoying your review. I am starting to pack for next week - this time next week I will be on the EPIC.

You have highlighted some of the night venues. I think last time we really did not explore the ship enough because we tended to stay around the casino area - our small casino budget seeemed to last the week. I don't like the location of the casino and so this time I am determined to see the venues you talk about (and the UBP will tempt DH to join me)

a

We woke to calmer seas and a cloudy day

We met our tourmates in the atrium at 8.45 but with a delay in disembarkation we got off the ship 9.30 to meet our guide Bruno from tripgrancanaria.

There were 6 of us in a 9 seater minvan so a bit of space for everyone.

Bruno is a very entertaining guide and although we had a bit of a job with his accent it made communicating all the more fun!

We had signed up for the towns of North Gran Canaria tour and this involves negotiating some narrow roads that Bruno did with skill.

First stop was Aracus a small village which involved some walking around the old town and a church. We bought some locally produced mineral water at 65 cents a bottle!

We visited a banana plantation and Bruno explained how harvesting and care of the plants works.

Next to a rum factory where the staff there asked Bruno if he could give other visitors to the place an English tour in addition to our group. There was a chance to try different rums at the end and Bruno had to explain to our newly acquired tour mates that he didn’t actually work there and so not able to negotiate on the prices in the shop!

Firgas was site of a water mill and some interesting ceramic models of the Canary Islands up a set of steps. Bruno produced some bananas and cheese from a local shop and suggested we try to see how well they went together as a snack.

We then headed to Teror and the water packaging factory. The locals are allowed to fill up their own plastic containers for free from the covered area with taps. We tasted some and was slightly fizzy and a strange taste-but if you get it for free!

Just opposite the factory was an unassuming shop where Bruno led us through the back into a restaurant with courtyard –we were the only ones there. Bruno said this would be where we would be having our included lunch.

Usually I am wary of meals during tours as don’t want to take time away from sightseeing but this was a true local experience.

The delicious tapas lunch consisted of potatoes, spicy and garlic dip, fish fingers ,chicken and bread .There was also red wine and water, tea coffee and chance to taste the local rum.

We were unable to eat all the food!

We then had a walking tour of Teror which was not strenuous but 6 found his ankle was swollen at the end of the day so there was a bit too much walking this day for his comfort.

It was starting to rain lightly at this point-we learned the Northern part of the island tends to be cooler than the South where most of the tourist resorts are based but the North is certainly picturesque.

The tour was on a per person basis of 47 euros each which included the lunch and a full day as we didn’t get back to the ship till 4.30-well recommended

Time for a nap before heading back out and closing the night with the Starlights.

Thanks for posting your review! I was on the Epic for the same itinerary on the March 6 sailing and had a wonderful time. I must admit, I'm a tiny bit disappointed you didn't get the Boy Toy. But, it sounds like you enjoyed yourself nonetheless.

We also had a great roll call and a well-attended Meet & Greet. It's interesting reading what you did on your sailing as we cruise very differently. It's making me feel like I'm taking my cruise again but from a different perspective. :D

Looking forward to hearing more!

Love your review ! We left the ship on the day you boarded , a lot of people were sick on the last 2/3 days on our cruise.My husband and I did an about turn every time someone started coughing .

We've been home a few days and all I can say about my cough is it's starting to loosen up but taking that as a sign of improvement!

Added to being bitten by mosquitos on last day in Barcelona and they are now blistered and itchy

So much for going back to work refreshed-I need another holiday!

Can't wait to read more of your review, but hopefully the foreshadowing of some not so great things were only minor issues for you.

we had a great cruise and niggles were just that

I enjoyed your review with your mother-hopefully will bump into you again on another cruise!

I am enjoying your review. I am starting to pack for next week - this time next week I will be on the EPIC.

 

You have highlighted some of the night venues. I think last time we really did not explore the ship enough because we tended to stay around the casino area - our small casino budget seeemed to last the week. I don't like the location of the casino and so this time I am determined to see the venues you talk about (and the UBP will tempt DH to join me)

It's a big ship but means there are so many different night venues which are going to appeal to different tastes!

enjoy!

Thanks for posting your review! I was on the Epic for the same itinerary on the March 6 sailing and had a wonderful time. I must admit, I'm a tiny bit disappointed you didn't get the Boy Toy. But, it sounds like you enjoyed yourself nonetheless.

 

We also had a great roll call and a well-attended Meet & Greet. It's interesting reading what you did on your sailing as we cruise very differently. It's making me feel like I'm taking my cruise again but from a different perspective. :D

 

Looking forward to hearing more!

next time I am propositioned by a Boy Toy I will have a cool response[mind thinking about it it may have been April 1st!!!]

next time I am propositioned by a Boy Toy I will have a cool response[mind thinking about it it may have been April 1st!!!]

LOL.

On the March 6 sailing, many of us from our roll call also ended the cruise feeling sick. Between that and the jet lag, it took several days to completely recover. I think it helped that I booked my next cruise right away. :D

a

We woke to calmer seas and a cloudy day

 

 

Just opposite the factory was an unassuming shop where Bruno led us through the back into a restaurant with courtyard –we were the only ones there. Bruno said this would be where we would be having our included lunch.

 

Usually I am wary of meals during tours as don’t want to take time away from sightseeing but this was a true local experience.

The delicious tapas lunch consisted of potatoes, spicy and garlic dip, fish fingers ,chicken and bread .There was also red wine and water, tea coffee and chance to taste the local rum.

We were unable to eat all the food!

 

 

 

The tour was on a per person basis of 47 euros each which included the lunch and a full day as we didn’t get back to the ship till 4.30-well recommended

 

Time for a nap before heading back out and closing the night with the Starlights.

I am certainly not too sure about bananas and cheese as a snack - and fish fingers for lunch does not sound like my sort of menu :eek: but 47 euros for a day tour sounds like a very good deal. You seem to have covered a lot. Bruno sounds like a good choice.

Waiting to read more:)

Nothing like living vicariously though others travels.

After meeting our tourmates in atrium[Dand K same as day before and new solo L (who informed us she had struck up a “cruisemance” with a fellow solo cruiser. They both live in Canada but 4000 miles apart-oh well true love will find a way]

We had to board a free shuttlebus to get us to the port gates where we were to meet our tour guide.

The first bus filled up whilst queuing but were told by the grumpy 2nd bus driver that it would be at least 20 minutes before he would be leaving as he had to wait until the first one returned.

This meant we were later than intended to meet our tour guide for the day-John Reid from Tenerife private tours who can also be found on tours by locals

John had said he would be wearing a green hat and sure enough on exiting the bus we saw him leaning over from the upper floor of the car park wearing a bright green hat and he called to us to take the lift to meet him at the top.

We had to run a gamut of taxi drivers who were trying to get us to take a tour with them but we kept explaining we were meeting a guide .John said the reason he is no longer able to meet clients at the ship side is because taxi drivers were complaining private guides were taking custom away from them. This is daft as there were no taxis available just off the ship as otherwise we would have taken one to avoid that shuttle bus!

John was a surprise as he spoke perfect Queens English ie with a posh accent .This was explained by although of Scottish descent he has lived most of his life on Tenerife but attended a private prep school in Sussex UK

John had a 7 seater van -2 seats in front,3 middle and 2 at rear so 6 took seat next to driver to allow room to manoeuvre in and out of the van easily

D and K took the middle seats and L and I took the back 2.This worked out perfectly for us as those back seats were raised above those in front so gave us a good view over peoples heads in front.

John also provided bottled water for everyone.

We had signed up for a visit to Mount Teide and the National Park and scenic North West tour.

Setting out of the port area we headed up to Mount Teide through the pre forest winding roads with John telling us history of the Canary Islands

At the port it was 16 degrees Celsius but John warned us to expect 2,5 degrees at the top as we would be above cloud level and there had been snowfall the previous week.

It seemed to take a while through thick cloud and rain then we stopped at first viewpoint to views of Mount Teide topped in snow and patches of snow and ice around, Strangest sensation was the looking down on clouds which you would normally only view from an aeroplane!

After the lush forest area the scenery was more barren as passed into the National Park and could see why it is described as a lunar landscape.

We got to the Roques de Garcia before most of the big tour buses arrived so got some good photo opportunities.

At the next stop I recognised the name of a company on a van we had previously booked and then cancelled.

When first contacting this company the roll call had been quiet and we didn’t want to book a private tour and risk not filling it and being too expensive.

This company offered seats on a per person basis in a 7 seater van and he would fill with other people who approached him .Fair enough .However as the roll call picked up D and K said they had signed up for his tour but it was for a group of 12! I contacted and was told-oh yes I’ve decided to increase the party size but will cost you the same as with a smaller group-er no!

We offered to pay him the same rate for a private tour limited to just us for but he declined our offer saying he knew his business and could be certain to fill his van. That was when we cancelled and found John Reid which turned out to be a good move for us.

Incidentley he had only2 people in his party so charging on a per seat basis he had lost out-so much for “knowing his business”!

We then headed down the Southern route which is the one most used by tourists-as with Gran Canaria the Southern part of the Island gets more sun than the North

Heading back down below the cloud base and the vegetation was mainly cactus and almond trees. John stopped by the wayside to describe the island industry of coccinelle dye which comes from a beetle that lives on cactus. He was very keen to demonstrate the red dye extraction but managed to get over his trousers –“ my wife is going to kill me” he said .If it helps John we appreciated the demo and be gentle with him Mrs Reid!

It was a scenic winding road down to Garachico old town where he dropped us off in the town centre to explore and he later met us after parking up and showing us a church where a wedding was actually going on

The rate was 260 euros for a group of 4 and should be 330 for 6

As we were a group of 5 he offered to honour the 4 person rate but we enjoyed the trip so much he got the extra in tips-good job John

Back at the port the queue for the free shuttle was ridiculous so as D and K wanted to find free wifi in the shopping village the 3 remaining took a 5 euro taxi back to the ship!

It was still warm and sunny at 3.30 so found a free lounger on deck 18 for some sun. Sailaway was due at 4pm but thought would be delayed judging by that long shuttle queue.

So when the ships horn blared out at 4.10pm announcing imminent departure those of us on the sundeck almost jumped out of our skin!

With a visit to the Thermal spa and a quick snack the evening entertainment took the usual form with another late night!

The port was very congested with tour buses and guides all congregated in one small area

Fortunately I had given Jeff our tour guide my phone number so he rang and said he was waiting for us just to the left.

This tour is best described as part sightseeing tour part theme park ride!

Jeff from Hit the road Madeira was waiting with a 1994 Land Rover discovery painted bright orange

There were five of us in the seven seater.6 sat up front in the passenger seat two in the middle and L and I took the “jump seats” in the boot as thought would have more room than one of us squashing in between the couple in the regular seats.

Then we were off to the observation platform at top of cliffs via what Jeff described as a “short cut”

OMG that’s not a road it’s a concrete vertical path up to someones back door, the land Rover will never fit between that wall and the sheer drop off on the other side......!!!!!!

Fortunately as we appeared to be hurtling at breakneck speed[was actually a lot slower just felt it] a vital part of the Land Rover was in working order-the horn!

This was to warn anyone who may have been coming in the opposite direction as there was no passing space.

After that stepping out onto the glass platform 500m above sea level should have been easy...but I wasn’t doing it!

This is a popular place but we got there before the tour buses arrived so were soon on our way through the tunnels in the mountain to reach the South West side of the islands

As with Gran Canaria banana plants everywhere but not much flat land-they seemed to be planted on terraces cut out of the mountain which involves steep steps for the harvesters and a very labour intensive industry!-not suitable for people with arthritis!

Another white knuckle ride “short cut” to Ponta de Sol a rocky beach area where intrepid local youths enjoy leaping off the rocks into the water below despite signs stating it’s dangerous!

Getting around the island was a mixture of old tunnels through mountain which leaked water from the roof to the newly built tunnels which transformed the transport times to get around the island

However our tour was mainly about experiencing the older winding roads up and down the mountains for which the Land Rover was suited.

We got above the clouds and ended up at a plateau 1500m above sea level where cows were grazing amongst gorse bushes

An off road track along the cliff face gave us a photo opportunity view of the South West coast and Jeff pointed out the levadas or irrigation channels to divert water from top of mountain down to the towns and banana plantations below.

The descent to the North coast was through lush vegetation of laurels and hydrangeas and when out in bloom can see why Madeira has a reputation for being such a colourful island.

Back to civilisation and villages carved out of the cliff sides-no large tour buses up here and not a place to spend your retirement!

Jeff offered lunch in Porto Moniz but we voted for more sightseeing as would be able to eat once back on the ship so went to view the rock pools and footpaths which are a big tourist attraction. Partly natural and partly concrete paths and swimming areas created by man

Extra sightseeing time created by not stopping for a meal meant we saw a lot of the rock formations dotted along the coast with small rocky beaches and a spectacular waterfall.

We also had time to take the old road winding up and over the mountains rather than the quick bland route through the tunnels and Jeff took us a side route through a fishing village and through Funchal centre before ending up back at the ship with plenty of time before all board time.

Cost was 190 euros for a full day and up to 6 passengers to share the cost-we limited to 5 for comfort .

Once back on board we headed to O Sheehans for something to eat and then I was off to the Thermal spa

On returning to the room I chatted to Noel our cabin steward and told him was about to hunt down 6

10 minutes after I left 6 turns up back at the cabin so Noel told him he had just missed me

“Oh I’d better go back to a bar then as that’s where she will be looking for me”

Sure enough I found him in Maltings bar

Two rebellious fish and 2 Becks later we got back to the room for a shower

My interrupting 6 plans for a nap earlier when he “had” to find me in a bar rebounded later in the night when he decided he needed a nap about 10pm before going back out for the evenings music.

However an hour later he was still crashed out and as he was still fully dressed made no objection as I stripped him ready for bed[and no not what you with dirty minds are thinking!]