Does anyone else feel young teens program runs too late?

[pg.]

Look ive been cruising since i was 12 and i've NEVER had a curfew...i'm expected to be with the family during the day if were in port, eat dinner, and maybe see a show. But after that i have always been free to go to the teen club, hang out with friends, or whatever. If i come back at 4 a.m. and have to get up at 7 for a tour, its my own fault for being stupid. I understand for younger kids (below 13, 14) having a curfew but other than that? Time to trust your kid.

 

That is nice for you..but not for everyone.

 

If teen programs end at 1 am ,, what do you do till 4 am ?

[pg.]

The young teens have activities scheduled LATER too as I said in my post. The younger teens activity is in the Living Room, not Fuel. The two groups are combined depending on numbers, which I also stated. You pulled the information you liked and overlooked the parts that don't fit your ideal cruise.

 

The people you claim "ranted" at you, answered your questions, you just didn't like what they said. I explained what the Mariner does in more detail than my original post on this thread for JungleJane because JungleJane is sailing that ship with a younger teen.

 

The regular posters of this forum have tried to answer your questions as best they can based on information they have gathered for their own families. Why not try the Princess board to see if someone can replicate the exact scenario you are describing. You obviously don't like the information that people have taken the time to share here.

 

Actually,, I did not pull what I wanted, I just mis read,, I said I thougth your post was most informative and thanked you for the info. . Thanks for the rant.

 

BTW The "regular" posters on almost any forum can get very testy or clicky ,, and I have noticed that here. You may disagree,, but its true.

 

So highschool.

[junglejane]

Let's everyone call a truce! Pg, you're on the Sapphire the same week that I'm on the Mariner of the Seas. We both have 13 year old DD's. Let's both come back to this board afterward and compare notes on the teen programs for our 13 year olds. We usually cruise on Princess and it's likely our next cruise will be on Princess (love those Platinum perks), so I'll be anxious to hear what you have to say. Deal?

[onthelake]

We have been on Princess a number of times. You can call Princess and they will tell you how many kids are on your cruise. If you are lucky, they will know the age group break down. Often, there really aren't too many in the teen category. Realistically, most older teens don't spend time in the club area. Hopefully, there will be one or more girls your daughter's age and they will bond. Having a compatible friend will make a big difference. As others have said, you are the parent and make the rules. Call Princess and get the numbers, board the ship and check out the situation, meet the counselors and make your decision. This is not something to stress too much about. You will have plenty of ports, dinners, shows, etc. to fill the time and keep the whole family happy.

[reallyitsmema]

Actually,, I did not pull what I wanted, I just mis read,, I said I thougth your post was most informative and thanked you for the info. . Thanks for the rant.

 

BTW The "regular" posters on almost any forum can get very testy or clicky ,, and I have noticed that here. You may disagree,, but its true.

 

So highschool.

The only clique that exists in this forum is a group of parents that try to help other parents that are looking for information. If that makes us all BFF's than whatever (since you want to speak on a high school level).:rolleyes:

[pg.]

Let's everyone call a truce! Pg, you're on the Sapphire the same week that I'm on the Mariner of the Seas. We both have 13 year old DD's. Let's both come back to this board afterward and compare notes on the teen programs for our 13 year olds. We usually cruise on Princess and it's likely our next cruise will be on Princess (love those Platinum perks), so I'll be anxious to hear what you have to say. Deal?

 

Jungle Jane,, you will be on the same cruise our friends are going on,, they have four daughters,,7, 9, 13 ( who's my dd best friend )and a 17 yr. , so we will find out about all different age programs. .They may have a unique perspective,, they are both police officers.. the mom works in the school system, and her hubby is in major crimes.. perhaps their stories have made me a bit wary... sometimes its better to know less. LOL

[junglejane]

Very true, pg. We have been on 6 Princess cruises with our kids but have not yet experienced the teen program. It does seem like it would be better if Princess divided up the younger and older teens the way RCL does. When we were on the Sapphire in October, my older DD was just days away from turning 13. She pretty much boycotted the kids program because she didn't want to hang around with 8 and 9 year olds (like her little sister, LOL).

 

I am still hoping you report back on your experience with the Princess teen program! I've done some searches and haven't found a lot of feedback on it.

 

PS -- Tell your friends' DD's to look for my DD's: Heidi (13) and Emily (she turns 9 on the cruise).

[Onessa]

I am pretty sure band class is fine though,, ( mixed ages there, LOL )

 

Have you NEVER seen "The Secret Life of American Teenager" (ABC Family)?! :D

 

The premise of th show is a girl gets pregnant at the school-sponsored band camp! :eek:

 

The program is a bit over the top, but the comment about band class is pretty ironic all things considered.

[pg.]

Have you NEVER seen "The Secret Life of American Teenager" (ABC Family)?! :D

 

The premise of th show is a girl gets pregnant at the school-sponsored band camp! :eek:

 

The program is a bit over the top, but the comment about band class is pretty ironic all things considered.

 

ah,, band "class" versus "camp" though,,, sleep aways and teens,, can always be interesting.. :)

[Onessa]

ah,, band "class" versus "camp" though,,, sleep aways and teens,, can always be interesting.. :)

 

I'm just cutting my losses on this one -- time to move on. Bye

[mjkacmom]

Danielle, perhaps if you reread my post you will see how your situation is NOT the same. Kids over 11 ARE allowed to sign themselves in and out. Princess does not offer to walk the younger ones back to cabins,, you come and get them( if under 11) . My dd would be fine if she was young and I knew they stayed in the kids club and signed in ,, like your little boys. Do you have a 13 yr old girl who may be hanging out with 17 yr kids to think about?? No,, I thought not.

 

Reread my post,, I am concerned about the TEEN situation ,, not the little kid situation.

My dd was in the kids club two years ago ,, we had no issues.

 

I also think your comparing sleep overs is not comparable. My kids have all had sleep overs,, and been to sleep overs. Sleep overs are supervised by parents.. and she only slept over at homes where we knew and trusted the parents judgements. We have had little girls over here too,, eating popcorn and watching videos till very late.. last month my dd and her friend said they wanted to stay up all night,, I said fine, as long as they were quiet and stayed in her room,, they fell asleep around 5 they said. This was in our home,, not at on a floating hotel with thousands of strangers around. Big difference. If you don't see the difference,, well,. frankly., I don't like your tone either!

 

I have a dd13, and would have no problem with her in the mix with 17 year olds, provided they are supervised. She's into theater here at home, and spends many evenings at rehearsals with HS students. I also think she'd be more supervised at a kids' club than at a sleepover here at home. I trust the parents of her friends, but it's not like they're in the room with them. My dd's sleepovers are either in her 3rd floor bedroom, or in the basement.

 

However, she will NOT be staying out that late on our next cruise - I need MY sleep! Really, that's my only selfish reason! Well, and the fact that she would be grouchy the next day, with 4 younger wide awake early siblings!

[caribbound]

you know your child and I don't give out unsolicited parenting advice but here is eithera gentle suggestion-

 

before setting hard and fast rules now prior to the trip, get the "lay of the land' first, meet the teen club staff, go over the capers and your planned excursions, the sea days, and then decide on the schedule you want her to adhere to. a pj party or teen disco dance might be OK if the next day is a seaday, not if you have an early excursion. if you meet the group and there are a disproportionate number of older teen boys then you might be more restrictive, or she may opt out of activities on her own if she doesn't feel comfortable

 

 

This is a good suggestion. My guess is that they look at it as doing the parents a favor in keeping the kids in a supervised, controlled environment while the parents are doing adult things. On our 5 night the kids program ended at 10 every night, but a few nights they had extended care "pajama party" or what-not that my 10 yo begged to stay for. I said I'M not staying out past 10, there's no reason for me to pay $6/hr for YOU to stay out past 10! :rolleyes: Once I let her stay for one hour, mostly to get it out of her system that the fireworks don't start just bc it's past 10 pm, and she volunteered to use her own spending money to pay for it.

 

The 12-14 program usually ended at midnight, once at 1 AM for a movie night which was after a port that adults tend to let loose in, and the last night was 12:30. Again, my guess is the staff is doing parents who WANT to be in the casino or disco a favor (or the other cruisemates who don't want kids running up/down halls) and taking advantage of the loose attitudes donating more to the casino/bar! Not everyone goes to every activity, and you can highlight the activities that are most important to her/them and tell them when you expect them back for curfew. The real world has many parents who let their kids out until midnight or later, but as they say... I'm not their parent.

 

I think Princess probably groups the ages broader bc they have less teens traveling on that line. Carnival and Royal Caribbean are known to be more family friendly, thus more kids to warrant bigger age divisions (ie, more space/staff dedicated to kids). I wouldn't worry about 13/17 yr olds hanging out while in the supervised club atomosphere, I'd just be certain she knows not to go anywhere with ANY aged boy w/out the group, and never in someone else's cabin.

[CanadianTwosome]

My daughter is 11, and will be 12 on our next cruise. She has had the ability to sign herself in and out of Kid's Crew for two years now, but never has - because we don't want her to, and crazy as it sounds, she listens to us. :) She's an only child, and the idea of her leaving the supervised area without our knowledge and no adults knowing her whereabouts for any length of time is simply not something we're comfortable with. So this is the agreement we've made - we sit down with the schedule on the first night and she decides what she absolutely wants to attend, and during other times, we make ourselves available; we go past the Kid's Crew regularly to check on her, or if we're lucky and there aren't many toddlers on board, we request a 'diaper phone' so that she can contact us if she wants to leave. It's just not a hardship to walk past the desk there whenever we change venues ourselves to ensure that she's not 'stuck' there when she'd rather be doing something else. I do not expect this to change as she gets older. Unless she meets a friend that we are able to meet and evaluate as a companion, she will not be wandering any cruise ship alone.

 

As for mixing with older kids, I have no problem with it. At least on a cruise ship, the mixing is supervised. Here at home, she goes to the mall, to movies, and to swimming pools with her friends and there is nobody there that cares whom she talks to; I just have to trust her, and I do.

 

I can't really comment on the lateness of the programs, because so far on NCL, her program has always been over at 10. Since I rarely go to bed myself by then, it's never a problem to pick her up. I don't know how late the programs go for older kids, but I expect she'll be done whenever I am (I tend to be up later than my husband most nights), and she'll be fine with it, because she won't have a choice. When she's got time off of school, we have no problem allowing her to stay up late, and on vacation we give her the same freedom (she's still always asleep by 11 or so). On nights before port days, of course, we all go to bed earlier if we have an early morning tender or excursion, because that's reasonable. If it's a sea day, though, I have no problem with my daughter pushing her bedtime limits - she can sleep in the next day and I'm not worried about her being a little groggy when all she has to do is enjoy herself. We have curfews and set bedtimes at home because we all have to work - us at jobs and her at school - but on vacation I allow myself to have late night fun, and I see no reason not to let her do the same. As someone else mentioned, it's no different than having a sleepover - just the other night I was knocking on a door at 1am reminding a pair of giggling girls that it was time to be asleep.

 

To me, the bottom line on all of these types of issues is trust. As parents, we do our best to teach our children about the world and how to be safe in it. We set rules and expect them to be followed. If we've done all that well, then age mixing and late programs are nothing, especially in a supervised environment. We're the parents, after all. When we say, 'You can go until 10:30,' it doesn't matter when the program actually ends. When we say, 'Don't leave the facility until we're here to walk with you,' sign-out priviledges might as well not exist. When we do allow roaming, then when we say, 'Make sure we know where you are at all times,' they ensure that we do. If we can't trust our kids to follow our rules on cruise ships, then we've got much bigger issues than whether there are 'older boys' around or the program ends late. :cool:

[In2why]

Like I said' date=' since you can't trust your daughter and it seems have absolutely no way to check up on her, you clearly have a problem. I just don't see how closing the program earlier would solve that problem. If you can't trust her to participate in the program, don't let her participate. I just wouldn't expect the entire program to be adjusted because I can't trust my child.

 

Best,

Mia[/quote']

 

 

I agree.

[ckekjhaze]

My daughter is 11, and will be 12 on our next cruise. :cool:

 

 

I have twin 11 yo and a 13 yo- all girls- I agree with your post about trust, except that teens are a completely different animal. That's the point the OP was trying to make.

Your 11 yo isn't physically attractive to the older teen boys, but a well developed 13 yo will get the hormones going.

Hormones make kids do crazy stuff.

Not that anything is going to happen on a cruise, but the potential is there. And, I'm not picking on teen boys just a fact of life.

 

I just had a little incident at the movies the other night. I took my girls to see Percy Jackson, and one had to use the restroom, so I went with her. On the way back she ran ahead down the long dark corridor to the theatre, which was the last one. A guy started running after her, got within 2 feet and put his arm out- all happened so fast I yelled her name and was already running to catch up. The guy turned away and ran to the video arcade. My daughter had no clue what was going on- I went and found a teenaged-worker who was sweeping up popcorn, but the guy had disappeared. The theatre at the mall has police, but this independently-owned theatre gets the good movies, so sometimes we end up going there. Lots of my kids' friends are dropped off at the movies with no adults, and most likely nothing will ever happen. Will be a long time before I allow my girls to go unattended.

 

I know we can't be there with our kids all the time, but I totally get the OP's concern of a 13 yo in a late night program.

[CanadianTwosome]

I have twin 11 yo and a 13 yo- all girls- I agree with your post about trust, except that teens are a completely different animal. That's the point the OP was trying to make.

Your 11 yo isn't physically attractive to the older teen boys, but a well developed 13 yo will get the hormones going.

Hormones make kids do crazy stuff.

Not that anything is going to happen on a cruise, but the potential is there. And, I'm not picking on teen boys just a fact of life.

 

I just had a little incident at the movies the other night. I took my girls to see Percy Jackson, and one had to use the restroom, so I went with her. On the way back she ran ahead down the long dark corridor to the theatre, which was the last one. A guy started running after her, got within 2 feet and put his arm out- all happened so fast I yelled her name and was already running to catch up. The guy turned away and ran to the video arcade. My daughter had no clue what was going on- I went and found a teenaged-worker who was sweeping up popcorn, but the guy had disappeared. The theatre at the mall has police, but this independently-owned theatre gets the good movies, so sometimes we end up going there. Lots of my kids' friends are dropped off at the movies with no adults, and most likely nothing will ever happen. Will be a long time before I allow my girls to go unattended.

 

I know we can't be there with our kids all the time, but I totally get the OP's concern of a 13 yo in a late night program.

 

My 11 year old is just under 5'7", has a B cup, and a curvier butt than a lot of adult women I know. Believe me, I've been at malls and theatres with her, and when she's not standing with me or her father, she gets a lot of looks.

 

Your neighborhood movie theatre sounds like a very scary place. The ones where I live are very well lit ouside of the theatres, and there are always staff members around. My daughter also knows very well what to do if a stranger touches her - don't yours?

 

I think it's too bad that the general opinion is that teenagers can't be trusted. I fully expect to be able to trust my daughter in two years to be as respectful of rules as she is now, hormones or not. If I find that I can't, I certainly won't be taking her on nice cruise vacations, so whether or not the programs run late won't be a problem. :cool:

[ckekjhaze]

[quote=CanadianTwosome; My daughter also knows very well what to do if a stranger touches her - don't yours?

:cool:

 

Serious? Ummm geee no as a mother of 3 girls the topic never came up. Sarcasm alert.

 

OK again- my daughter was running ahead back to the theatre and this guy ran up behind her. I was about 40 ft behind. My daughter had no idea the guy was coming up behind her. He didn't get to touch her because I screamed. Or do the moms in Canada hand out special rear view goggles to avoid such situations?

 

Yep one of my twins is a tall elegant blonde who is a competitive equestrian. They are fraternal- the other is 6 in shorter and a freckled scrappy soccer star.

 

I give up-all teenagers are 100% trustworthy- none have hormones- especially anyone who reads this but just have to say- the way to OP explained the age groups- the 13 yo is with a different group with different sign out rules than the 11 yo. That was her concern

[6rugrats]

I fully expect to be able to trust my daughter in two years to be as respectful of rules as she is now, hormones or not. If I find that I can't, I certainly won't be taking her on nice cruise vacations, so whether or not the programs run late won't be a problem. :cool:

 

I was a dreamer too, when my kids were younger :).

[CanadianTwosome]

Serious? Ummm geee no as a mother of 3 girls the topic never came up. Sarcasm alert.

 

OK again- my daughter was running ahead back to the theatre and this guy ran up behind her. I was about 40 ft behind. My daughter had no idea the guy was coming up behind her. He didn't get to touch her because I screamed. Or do the moms in Canada hand out special rear view goggles to avoid such situations?

 

Yep one of my twins is a tall elegant blonde who is a competitive equestrian. They are fraternal- the other is 6 in shorter and a freckled scrappy soccer star.

 

I give up-all teenagers are 100% trustworthy- none have hormones- especially anyone who reads this but just have to say- the way to OP explained the age groups- the 13 yo is with a different group with different sign out rules than the 11 yo. That was her concern

 

Again, your local theatre sounds REALLY SCARY!!! My point was just that if the man HAD reached her, would she not have screamed bloody murder - and would there not have been a single person around who would have responded?

 

I had no problem understanding the OP's post, and if you reread my ENTIRE first post, you will see that I responded to some of her ideas while stating as clearly as possible that I could not comment on others. Your argument that I couldn't understand her because my 11 year old isn't attractive to boys was presumptive and, well, completely wrong. If you'd said I couldn't understand because she wasn't old enough to be in a teen program, I would have said, 'Yes, which is why I pointed that out in my first post.' :)

 

As for teenagers, I have never, nor will ever, suggest that ALL of them are trustworthy, or that hormones never play a role in bad decisions. I'm just saying that NOT ALL are untrustworthy and completely dictated by hormones either. Every individual is different and hopefully you know your own kids and know whether you can trust them to behave appropriately and make good decisions in a given situation. At this time, I am 100% confident that mine can. I won't know about 13 until we get there, but that won't change how I as a parent will set rules, nor how I will react if they are broken.

[CanadianTwosome]

I was a dreamer too, when my kids were younger :).

 

I'm not a dreamer, I'm an optimist! :)

 

Goodness gracious, what kind of mother would I be if I expected the worst of my child? :eek::p

 

Seriously, though, don't miss that following sentence, where I state that if she doesn't turn out as I expect, she won't be coming on holidays with us. I'm not delusional; I do understand that within every good kid lurks the potential to become an unruly teen. I've also known some really great teens along the way, though, so I have no reason not to expect mine to become one. :)

[ckekjhaze]

Yep the independently owned movie theatre is much different security-wise than the one at the mall, sometimes they outbid for new movies so that's where we end up. but really my point was- it only takes a moment and could happen anywhere. Thinking the worst, it wouldn't have mattered how loud my daughter screamed- I think he planned on taking her out the emergency exit door. This wasn't a teen but an older "creepy" guy. All the movies were in session- no one was around., my kids have all taken safe kid training, self-defense and it's all good but someone who is big and strong, using surprise can overpower a kid quickly. I'm still shaking thinking about it. Years ago a friend was raped and killed coming out of a store after Christmas shopping, her killer is on death row here in CT. Bad stuff can happen in an instant. Back to the OP, she was worried about her 13 yo walking back to her cabin alone after the program ended. Most 13 yo aren't going to be happy waiting for mom and dad to pick them up, but if they are traveling on a cruise without a sibling or friend, that sounds like the safest idea.

 

Didn't mean to assumme your 11 yo wasn't beautiful - just really on a ship the 11 year olds won't be on scavenger hunts or other oppurtunities to be alone with other and older teens, but the 13 year olds will be able to do that.

 

I know plenty of awesome teens too- also saw a really sweet girl that lived across the street self destruct. SHe practially grew up at my house, very good parents- both police officers, very protective -she got good grades, was an athlete and had her whole life ahead of her. One night she was babysitting for us and we came home early and caught her with a boy in our house. She was 15 and that was just the beginning of a bunch of poor choices.

 

Has nothing to do with any families on this board, but just saying at 13 yo, no one would have seen coming the direction her life took.

[CanadianTwosome]

Yep the independently owned movie theatre is much different security-wise than the one at the mall, sometimes they outbid for new movies so that's where we end up. but really my point was- it only takes a moment and could happen anywhere. Thinking the worst, it wouldn't have mattered how loud my daughter screamed- I think he planned on taking her out the emergency exit door. This wasn't a teen but an older "creepy" guy. All the movies were in session- no one was around., my kids have all taken safe kid training, self-defense and it's all good but someone who is big and strong, using surprise can overpower a kid quickly. I'm still shaking thinking about it. Years ago a friend was raped and killed coming out of a store after Christmas shopping, her killer is on death row here in CT. Bad stuff can happen in an instant. Back to the OP, she was worried about her 13 yo walking back to her cabin alone after the program ended. Most 13 yo aren't going to be happy waiting for mom and dad to pick them up, but if they are traveling on a cruise without a sibling or friend, that sounds like the safest idea.

 

Didn't mean to assumme your 11 yo wasn't beautiful - just really on a ship the 11 year olds won't be on scavenger hunts or other oppurtunities to be alone with other and older teens, but the 13 year olds will be able to do that.

 

I know plenty of awesome teens too- also saw a really sweet girl that lived across the street self destruct. SHe practially grew up at my house, very good parents- both police officers, very protective -she got good grades, was an athlete and had her whole life ahead of her. One night she was babysitting for us and we came home early and caught her with a boy in our house. She was 15 and that was just the beginning of a bunch of poor choices.

 

Has nothing to do with any families on this board, but just saying at 13 yo, no one would have seen coming the direction her life took.

 

Oh my gosh, that freaks me out so much! Sorry, I don't mean to dwell, but one of the reasons I am willing to endure the -40 winters here is that I feel safeR here than I would in many other places. We'd miss a lot of movies if that was our only option!

 

I think we're mostly on the same page, but part of what I was trying to say was that while my daughter isn't in the upper age group yet, she does have the freedom to sign herself out and wander the ship alone if she wants to - but we don't allow it, and any parent of any child of any age can set that exact same rule. As you've noted, bad things can happen anywhere, and they can happen very quickly, and I agree that there isn't always time to react or someone around to hear a cry for help. It's always better to avoid such potential situations - which to me means picking kids up from the facilities - at 11, 13, 15... What you said about the individual chasing your daughter was important also - he wasn't a teenager trying to hit on a younger girl, he was a creepy adult - and age has no bearing on that sort of danger.

 

As far as I'm concerned, WE'RE paying for the trip, so WE set the rules, and the one that states our daughter does not leave the supervised area without our knowledge is not negotiable. If she doesn't like having to leave when we say it's time to go, she doesn't have to go in the first place. This is a technique that has been working since she was a toddler; we'd go to some place with a play structure, and when it was time to go we'd give her a ten minute warning and then call her and she'd come out. Other parents constantly commented on how easy it was and how their kids would just laugh and keep playing. I asked them why they brought them back if they didn't listen and they'd just stand there blinking at me. Sure, that very first time wasn't perfect, but after begging and begging to go back and being told, 'No, you wouldn't leave when I asked so we're not going back,' we tried it again a couple of months later and lo and behold we had a good listener. :)

 

In threads like this, I always try to qualify my opinions by pointing out that I've only been parenting for 12 years (next month), because it's definitely relevant. I can't predict the future with any certainty, but so far our methods have been working really well. We set rules, we explain them, and we discuss consequences should rules not be followed as expected. We adjust the consequences as she gets older and as the rules adapt, but she always knows that we will follow through, so as long as they are undesirable enough, they'll be preventative. That's the theory, anyway. :p

[ckekjhaze]

Oh my gosh, that freaks me out so much! Sorry, I don't mean to dwell, but one of the reasons I am willing to endure the -40 winters here is that I feel safeR here than I would in many other places. We'd miss a lot of movies if that was our only option!

 

Yes I know freaks me out too- so glad I accompanied her to the bathroom, this stupid place had cameras but they don't record.

We live in a lovely area, with colonial era farmhouses, horses in back- unfortunately have to go to the big bad city for anything to do. My kids go to school at a performing arts school, also in the city. They built it next to the entrance for the state office for probation and parole:eek: I work in that city too as a mail carrier on a walking route, in a really bad neighborhood. When people think of COnnecticut they definitely aren't thinking of where I work.

I think we're mostly on the same page, but part of what I was trying to say was that while my daughter isn't in the upper age group yet, she does have the freedom to sign herself out and wander the ship alone if she wants to - but we don't allow it, and any parent of any child of any age can set that exact same rule. As you've noted, bad things can happen anywhere, and they can happen very quickly, and I agree that there isn't always time to react or someone around to hear a cry for help. It's always better to avoid such potential situations - which to me means picking kids up from the facilities - at 11, 13, 15...

If mine stay together, I feel there is safety in numbers. Can't do that I guess with one child.

What you said about the individual chasing your daughter was important also - he wasn't a teenager trying to hit on a younger girl, he was a creepy adult - and age has no bearing on that sort of danger.

 

As far as I'm concerned, WE'RE paying for the trip, so WE set the rules, and the one that states our daughter does not leave the supervised area without our knowledge is not negotiable. If she doesn't like having to leave when we say it's time to go, she doesn't have to go in the first place. This is a technique that has been working since she was a toddler; we'd go to some place with a play structure, and when it was time to go we'd give her a ten minute warning and then call her and she'd come out. Other parents constantly commented on how easy it was and how their kids would just laugh and keep playing. I asked them why they brought them back if they didn't listen and they'd just stand there blinking at me. Sure, that very first time wasn't perfect, but after begging and begging to go back and being told, 'No, you wouldn't leave when I asked so we're not going back,' we tried it again a couple of months later and lo and behold we had a good listener. That's great- my kids listen when it's time to leave also. I have since they were toddlers taught them to "arrive and leave gracefully" -usually they will be waiting in the car to go and I'm the one who makes them wait because I love to talk and will be chatting with another mom:)

 

In threads like this, I always try to qualify my opinions by pointing out that I've only been parenting for 12 years (next month), because it's definitely relevant. I can't predict the future with any certainty, but so far our methods have been working really well. We set rules, we explain them, and we discuss consequences should rules not be followed as expected. We adjust the consequences as she gets older and as the rules adapt, but she always knows that we will follow through, so as long as they are undesirable enough, they'll be preventative. That's the theory, anyway. :p

Sounds like a great theory- your daughter sounds great:)

[sbhdmh]

Yep the independently owned movie theatre is much different security-wise than the one at the mall, sometimes they outbid for new movies so that's where we end up. but really my point was- it only takes a moment and could happen anywhere. Thinking the worst, it wouldn't have mattered how loud my daughter screamed- I think he planned on taking her out the emergency exit door. This wasn't a teen but an older "creepy" guy. All the movies were in session- no one was around., my kids have all taken safe kid training, self-defense and it's all good but someone who is big and strong, using surprise can overpower a kid quickly. I'm still shaking thinking about it. Years ago a friend was raped and killed coming out of a store after Christmas shopping, her killer is on death row here in CT. Bad stuff can happen in an instant.

 

 

Ummm... OT here but I live in Connecticut too. Hope you reported this to the police. If he was looking for someone to grab he may have found someone else, even if your daughter got lucky. I hope you were able to provide a good description in case someone else needs it too. Scary things happen everywhere but this story hits close to home, literally.

[ckekjhaze]

Ummm... OT here but I live in Connecticut too. Hope you reported this to the police. If he was looking for someone to grab he may have found someone else, even if your daughter got lucky. I hope you were able to provide a good description in case someone else needs it too. Scary things happen everywhere but this story hits close to home, literally.

 

Yes I did of course- he was nowhere to be found. I was able to give a decent description- exact details of what I saw as far as him running down the corridor and putting arm out when he got close and me yelling, then he bolted to the right where the video games were located. Sounded like the officer thought I was overreacting, and he thought the guy might have been goofing off running down the hallway and maybe trying to jump up and touch the exit sign, as I've seen kids do many times. I don't usually overreact and have good instincts and know what I saw and felt the hair on my neck stand up.

 

We won't be going there again, maybe they will get some security. It was a busy weekend night, but at that moment all movies were in session so the lobby and corridors were deserted.

Definitely kids need to be accompanied to the restrooms or to get a popcorn/drink refill.

OK thread hijack over:)