Aquaphobic husband!

[phoebedog]

Hello,

I am a happy Holland America cruiser but my husband keeps backing out at the last minute. He is happy to book, but as the sail date approaches he gets more and more stressed, then changes his mind. This year he left it until the day before to decide he wouldn't cruise, so I couldn't even take someone in his place. What a waste!!!

Has anyone successfully rehabilitated a nervous cruiser? :confused:

[sparks1093]

Hello,

I am a happy Holland America cruiser but my husband keeps backing out at the last minute. He is happy to book, but as the sail date approaches he gets more and more stressed, then changes his mind. This year he left it until the day before to decide he wouldn't cruise, so I couldn't even take someone in his place. What a waste!!!

Has anyone successfully rehabilitated a nervous cruiser? :confused:

 

Unless you drug him the way the A-team drugged BA to get him on a plane I don't know what you'd do. Maybe try booking a shorter cruise?

[phoebedog]

Ha ha! that's one way to do it I suppose.

[susie8862]

Liquor him up.....:o:o:o

[phoebedog]

He is teetotal!!!

[Krazy Kruizers]

Maybe he needs to talk to a shrink.

[phoebedog]

I have suggested a bit of hypnotherapy.

Might try a 2 night cruise. I'm sure he'd love it if he gives it a go.:)

[KirkNC]

What reason does he give for his decision?

[dorisis]

Leave him home and go with a friend.

[phoebedog]

What reason does he give for his decision?

 

Terror:( He is certain it will sink.

[phoebedog]

Leave him home and go with a friend.

 

He isn't getting away with that, he makes me go on planes and I am terrified!!:)

[sparks1093]

Terror:( He is certain it will sink.

 

I guess the Concordia didn't help your case any.

[phoebedog]

I guess the Concordia didn't help your case any.

 

No it didn't at all, that was his excuse for refusing to board this year's cruise to the Fjords (which were lovely).

[Keith1010]

Sorry to hear this. I don't believe any of us are qualified to offer you any advice.

 

Keith

[phoebedog]

Sorry to hear this. I don't believe any of us are qualified to offer you any advice.

 

Keith

 

 

It is a difficult one. I was hoping someone had got over the same thing.:confused:

[Hlitner]

What a problem and it sounds similar to those who are afraid to fly. Sounds like your hubby needs some professional help if he wants to overcome his phobia or demons.

 

Hank

[klfrodo]

Just my opinion

 

But rather than disrespect him by sharing his fears in a public world wide forum, wouldn't it be better to love him and accept him as he is, even with faults.

Just find close friends you can cruise with. Obviously he respects you enough to let you do something you enjoy on your own.

[sherilyn70]

He isn't getting away with that, he makes me go on planes and I am terrified!!:)

 

Did you point that out to him? I assume this is his money too... so just refuse to cancel the reservation and then go without him if he won't cooperate. Unless he doesn't mind paying double for your vacations without him.

[phoebedog]

Just my opinion

 

But rather than disrespect him by sharing his fears in a public world wide forum, wouldn't it be better to love him and accept him as he is, even with faults.

Just find close friends you can cruise with. Obviously he respects you enough to let you do something you enjoy on your own.

 

 

OOf that's a bit serious! He is enjoying reading all these responses himself! He would love to come and was hoping for tips from anyone who had the same fear before their first cruise.:)

[phoebedog]

Did you point that out to him? I assume this is his money too... so just refuse to cancel the reservation and then go without him if he won't cooperate. Unless he doesn't mind paying double for your vacations without him.

 

I have pointed it out many times, many many times.:)

Good news is he is thinking of trying a 2 night trip leaving on the 19th October. Fingers crossed!

[spookwife]

Terror:( He is certain it will sink.

 

there's no reasoning with a phobia, period. nor can you force him to seek treatment/therapy for it.

 

accept this aspect of his personality and acknowledge that he will never cruise with you. find a good friend who is willing to share a cabin and make them your cruise buddy.

[Onessa]

Shorter cruise, within view of land at most time may be helpful. We went on a 3-day Seattle/Vancouver/Victory cruise a few years back and a couple was trying this (where DW was the reluctant one). She did make it on the ship and through the cruise, but she did admit to be anxious the whole time.

 

Is your DH generally afraid of water? Bridges, piers? Or just floating things - boats, rafts, etc? Or is it the big ship that is his problem?

[Langley Cruisers]

Sorry to hear this. I don't believe any of us are qualified to offer you any advice.

 

We can offer advice or suggestions but ultimately, it is up to this couple alone and only them, you are right.

 

...rather than disrespect him by sharing his fears in a public world wide forum, wouldn't it be better to love him and accept him as he is, even with faults. Just find close friends you can cruise with. Obviously he respects you enough to let you do something you enjoy on your own.

 

Agreed, although this forum is somewhat anonymous.

 

OP, I can only tell you that I also have some phobias and they do interefere with my travelling. I suffer from claustrophobia and agorophobia. It has gotten progressively worse over the years, to the point that I now must have an aisle seat in an airplane as close to the front as possible, and an end seat in any theater, in a crowd, etc. Muster drill on a cruise ship is excruciating for me. :( Anyway.... if my husband were to threaten me, bully me, belittle me, joke about it, or otherwise not be supportive of my fears we would and could no longer travel together. He is supportive and loving. He finds ways to help me, not hinder me.

 

My advice is to be supportive and understanding. If he doesn't want to cruise for fear the ship will sink, you will need to find another vacation.

 

Best to you both.

.

[Onessa]

there's no reasoning with a phobia, period. nor can you force him to seek treatment/therapy for it.

 

accept this aspect of his personality and acknowledge that he will never cruise with you. find a good friend who is willing to share a cabin and make them your cruise buddy.

It kind of sounds like he would like to overcome this. I'm thinking he may not consider it "serious" enough to seek professional help. We don't really know that this is a true "phobia" or if it is more anxiety.

 

Has he talked to his GP about this issue? Perhaps a mild anti-anxiety med the week or so before may be enough.

[phoebedog]

Shorter cruise, within view of land at most time may be helpful. We went on a 3-day Seattle/Vancouver/Victory cruise a few years back and a couple was trying this (where DW was the reluctant one). She did make it on the ship and through the cruise, but she did admit to be anxious the whole time.

 

Is your DH generally afraid of water? Bridges, piers? Or just floating things - boats, rafts, etc? Or is it the big ship that is his problem?

 

Thank you for asking.

Well this is the strange bit: He loves bridges! He likes walking out on piers and loves holidays by the sea. He has been on ferries and doesnt like the movement, but isn't frightened. I've explained the movement is nothing compared to a small boat. It seems to be the big ship that's the problem now you've asked me to think about it hard!

 

He is seriously considering a 2 night cruise.:)