Deep question - would like input.

[carmel]

I'm quite sure this is in the wrong forum but for the life of me, I'm not sure where it goes. I'm going on the Sunshine in two weeks so I figured I would stick it here.

 

I have a deep question for you all. I'm kinda struggling here. My husband has been diagnosed with two cancers in the past 7 years. The first was Hodgkins which he beat and is in year 6 of remission. The second is an in situ cancer (completely contained and not spread) where they simply surgically removed it. I found out about this last Friday.

 

I feel very broken in spirit. I used to have a very strong faith but that has diminished. For some, their faith grows when they beat cancer. For me, I got totally #@%#^ at whatever supreme being allowed it to happen in the first place. I work in a hospital and every time I see a bald child in the children's cancer wing, I question....WHY?

 

My husband and I are relatively young. Mid 40s. We have a 15yr old, 11 yr old, and a 3 yr old. I had my life all planned out to be sitting by him on the patio drinking coffee at sunrise well into our 70s. Now, I'm overcome with just how little control I have over that.

 

Hubby is looking at this cruise as a celebration. His cancer was 'good' - in situ. I refuse to attach the word 'good' to any cancer. I have fantasies of squeezing the life out of cancer cells and laughing at them taking their last, gasping breath. Yeah, I'm walking around pretty pissed right now.

 

I guess my question is - what is the use of enjoying this vacation? I know, some of you are like, this chick is crazy! But I'm being serious. If I'm going to make amazing memories of walking the Baths with my girls and hubby or watching our toddler build sand castles, won't it hurt that much more if something happens? The sweeter life it, the more it hurts when it all goes south. It is almost like I want to close myself into a dark room and not care about anyone or anything to avoid hurt. Selfish? Yes. But, my spirit is so broken right now.

 

I just don't see how people can fully enjoy life when there is always that threat of the other shoe dropping. I'm so blessed with my family. I love them so much that it is painful. Anything happening to them would destroy me.

 

Hubby looks at his Hodgkins as a gift. What was terrifying and horrendous to me was something that gave him great joy to parcel out just how precious life is. It left him grateful and happy. It left me angry and afraid.

 

I must say, if you met me on the street, you would have no idea I feel this way. I hold down a full time job, am a fabulous mother (if I do say so myself)....by all appearances, I'm not some seething, dark, afraid person. But it is there. Always. I was lucky enough to marry my soul-mate. I'm quite confident there is no one in this world who was better matched for me (and I for him). That knowledge is wonderful but also scary.

 

I guess I'm rambling at this point. I had been looking so forward to this cruise with my girls, my DH and my parents. It has been a bad winter and I couldn't wait to get in the sun and heat. Now, I don't even want to go. I have a sort of 'what is the use'.

 

The truth is, whatever cancer he had was either cut out completely or he will have another resection on Friday. I'm in health care and have access to all sorts of journals. Most journals don't even classify this as a true cancer. Pre-cancer is the term that is used. We see the oncologist on Friday and the best thing he can say to me is that I can view this as the skin cancers people get taken off. Those don't scare me. I've had a couple myself.

 

Please, if you could take a second and, I don't know, give some suggestions on how I can get back to that excitement I had before the path report came back. All of us are terminal. None of us live forever. I know there are people out there that are in MUCH worse places than I am. I'm in awe of their strength and courage. I want to be able to cherish the good times without this 'what if' hanging over my head.

 

Thanks - ya'll may think I'm a loon for posting on a cruise board but I've been on this board forever and so many share my feelings on so many things - we treat cruises as not just the week we are gone but the prep before, the planning.....it is so much more than those 7 days. For us, cruising is our reward for the years spent living on Ramen, studying until 3am. It is the week or two where we glue ourselves to each other's hips and get to know one another again. It is the week we talk about for months afterwards.

[Green4me]

Dear Carmel,

 

We will be on board with you in just 11 days time now. I cannot begin to understand your situation and I wish I had an easy answer. I think you summed it up the best in your last paragraph below...

 

we treat cruises as not just the week we are gone but the prep before, the planning.....it is so much more than those 7 days. For us, cruising is our reward for the years spent living on Ramen, studying until 3am. It is the week or two where we glue ourselves to each other's hips and get to know one another again. It is the week we talk about for months afterwards.

 

Just try and focus on these good feelings and the fun you will all share as a faimily for the 8 days we are sailing.

 

I hope we get to meet you and your family on board.

 

Wishing you all the karma in the world.

 

Bob:)

[firemanbobswife]

Look at it as a celebration of life. It makes your husband happy and what better thing to have than wonderful memories.

 

None of us know when our time is up. Enjoy every minute you have. If you stay home and wallow, then even if it's gone, the cancer has won. That's what it wants you to do - feel sorry, sad, angry, and to zap the lust for life out of the both of you.

[jsfromsc]

Every good memory you can make will be one more to treasure whether you both live a to a ripe old age or not. Being pessimistic will ruin any time you have together. Each day we have is a gift. There are no guarantees. You could be hit by a car tomorrow. I'd suggest some counseling for you to get some professional help in dealing with this, but I know there isn't much time for that before your trip. Even if you have bad feelings, act as if you are having the time of your life on the cruise. It will help the others in your family to enjoy the vacation, and you may surprise yourself by finding out that you actually are having a great time. Attitude is everything. Good luck to you and your husband. Saying a prayer for your husband's health and your peace of mind. I hope the trip is a wonderful time for you all.

[grumpyjr88]

Carmel,

 

As someone who has been in similar shoes, I must recommend that you speak to your Dr. I know that our society throws pills at whatever little thing these days, but this is not something that you can just snap out of. A recent life event left me openly sobbing. In public! And I was so angry at the person I blamed that I couldn't function anymore. My Dr. gave me some xanax for about a month and it helped me sort myself out. No more spontaneous crying in public. No more punching things or spewing hatred.

 

Your response is so completely normal...Your husband went through a lot of changes and has resurfaced a more confident and happy person because of it. Until you face something similar for yourself, it's hard to comprehend.

 

Your upcoming cruise IS a joyous occasion and I know you wouldn't want to disappoint your husband, even if your anger is because you love him so much. So please talk to your Dr. even if it's for your husband and not yourself. :)

[YB Nrml]

I have a lot of memories from childhood of my family when we were on vacation or doing some special/fun. The day to day routine stuff, not so much.

 

Your children are so young, this trip will stay in their memories and be a bright spot to look back on. It will be easier for them to remember the cruise you went on than to pull up memories of Dad cutting the grass, Mom cooking a birthday cake etc.

 

DH is 9 years older than I am so chances are he'll die before me. I want to have all those cruises to look back on, I want to fill up my memory with good times so I can remember them and they will crowd out any memories of illness.

 

Go and create some wonderful new memories, take lots of pictures, laugh even if it's tough at first, act silly, have a ball.

 

I hope your DH will be fine and get a clean bill of health on Friday, that you will have decades ahead of you to make memories together.

[Cruising Golfer]

O.K. here is my thoughts, remember you asked!!!

Put on your big girl panties and get back to life... What if something happens to you or one of your kids... (God Forbid) Don't you think we all have those feelings deep down inside?

Live each day as if it were your last, love like there is no tomorrow, accept everything that happens as a chance to learn and grow.

Go enjoy your family, because the mood you have is surely hurting them too.

Find joy in everything you do and all the memories you make will be lasting ones.

Go enjoy your cruise and plan your next one, everything will take care of itself.

[luvtrips]

My husband's father died at the age of 42 when my hubby was 2 years old, of cancer. My hubby's mother lived to be 91, and died of Alzheimer's complications, and survived breast cancer twice. My hubby is diabetic, but no signs of cancer. He's now 58. Will he ever contract cancer or succumb to diabetes ? Will I die of something before him? We don't know. We married 10 years ago, and it's been the best 10 years of our lives. We've been on 7 cruises, our first one was our honeymoon. Many land vacations. We have 6 grown kids between us , and 9 grandchildren. He has a good job that he enjoys and will retire from in 8 years, Lord willing.

 

Just saying....no one knows. We live our time on this earth the best we are able, with what we are given. I hope you find a way to restore your Faith. Our time on this ball of dirt is short, but eternity is forever, new and healthy and free. That's what really counts.

 

Go and enjoy your cruise, and thank God you have the time and opportunity together.

[cruisingautiger]

I know where you are coming from and hopefully after some time you will get your Zing back. I had someone tell me a long time ago that " life is like an ice cream cone. You can enjoy it or watch it melt away" I remind myself of this whenever I get too focused on the "What Ifs" in life. I am also a big believer in counting your blessings and from the sound of your post, you have many to count. I hope your husband stays cancer free and that you feel a lot better soon!

 

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2

[ronandannette]

My best advice? Breath in, breath out and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions as you (yes, you, not your DH) heal. You are clearly tramautized right now - you won't always feel this way. I'm so happy for you that the outcomes of your DH's illnesses have apparently been good. That doesn't deminish how difficult the experience was.

 

Go on the trip and be in the moment. Yes, I am advocating "fake it 'til you make it", but really, you don't have any other choice. Years from now when you're going through the scrapbook of your upcoming cruise you WON'T be remembering how acutely distressed you were.

[Kamloops50]

Look at it as celebration or a victory cruise over the cancers . We had a victory cruise with friends to Hawaii last year for his beating a serious illness that almost killed him.

[carmel]

Hubby just got back from the grocery. He has an incredible - if not sometimes quirky - sense of humor. He's also a bargain shopper.

 

He proudly held up this MASSIVE tub of coffee and was excitedly telling me what a great deal it was. Then he finished it off by saying with a grin, "In case you are wondering, yes I will still be alive when you drink the last cup."

[missdebi]

You are feeling the dark side of an illness it is your soul mate, your love, it is normal. Your brain is trying to let you go down the dark path but you can win. You have to remember all of us will pass on some sooner than others,some way before their time but we cannot dwell on that or we would never enjoy life. I worked in ICU when I first got out of nursing school and started feeling paranoid about everything- cars, bikes,pools, etc. But one incident put it all in perspective, a man walked onto his front porch to get his paper he slipped and fell paralyzingly him. You can do everything right and get hurt getting the paper! Enjoy your time with your family you deserve every second of time together.Enjoy your cruise and your sweet family.

[irishnyc]

Anger is normal. But, you have to take the life you have while you still have it to live. Don't be angry now and skip this cruise and look back in the future and think, "I wish we'd taken that cruise/Gone on that vacation/Had more time to laugh." This is it. Laugh and have fun now. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

[reerun25]

I can't even begin to say I know how you feel, and I am not saying if I were in your shoes, I would not be feeling the same way. I will say though, that I would like to think that if I were in that situation, I would still make the trip. It is building memories for the whole family. I lost my Dad over 7 years ago, he was 3 months shy of his 60th birthday, and even though I feel he was taken way to early, I try not to dwell on the why, I try to remember the time I did get with him, and I would think that your kids will do that too. Not sure if it is just the two of you going on the trip, or the whole family, but I think in the long run, you might regret not going... Just my opinion... Also, I will say that it is wonderful news that he has been in remission for Hodgkins, and it sounds very positive on the situ....

[AmberCascades]

My husband and I started taking cruises last year after a 23 year travel hiatus (we went to the cottage for summer vacations but that was it). A couple of years ago a good friend of ours who was so full of life suddenly dropped dead of an aneursym. He was only a month older than my husband at the time. My dad was killed by lightning, long before his time.

 

The reality is that any one of us could go at any time (and for sure, we've suffered other losses since then) and that we need to "live like we were dyin'". We've been on 3 cruises so far and we have 2 more planned. My husband also decided to stop stressing about work and retired from his 30 year career. He wanted to try new things while he still can.

 

It's understandable to be angry about the unfairness of it all, but why not focus on living life to the fullest. Eat dessert first and go on trips and laugh with your kids and buy a new dress just because you like it, not because you need it. We are all going to die at some point - we might as well wring as much joy out of life as we can, while we can.

[Mysticks1]

I think your husband has the right attitude. I understand how you can be angry at the circumstances that life has dealt to him but he seems to have dealt with it head on and is ready to get on with his life. (hearing Tim McGraw singing Live Like You were Dying in my head) I think if you keep feeling this way that it is going to affect your whole family eventually.

 

We have to take like one day at a time and live it to the fullest. Yes, he might eventually have the cancer come back but as someone else said you or another family member may be in a fatal car crash, etc. All of our days are numbered. We just have to live the best life we can. Go on the cruise and have a ball, if you can't do that for yourself then do it for your children.

 

My father died in his late forties of lung cancer (I was just 21). He worked hard all his life. We didn't have time to waste on vacations in his mind. Now that I look back I wish he had taken the time to just "work to live" and "not live to work". I look back and don't have those great family memories to look back on but I wish I did. :( I hope you go on the cruise and have a wonderful time and make lots of good memories for your children.

Edited April 7, 2014 by Mysticks1

[winddawn]

I'm quite sure this is in the wrong forum but for the life of me, I'm not sure where it goes. I'm going on the Sunshine in two weeks so I figured I would stick it here.

 

I have a deep question for you all. I'm kinda struggling here. My husband has been diagnosed with two cancers in the past 7 years. The first was Hodgkins which he beat and is in year 6 of remission. The second is an in situ cancer (completely contained and not spread) where they simply surgically removed it. I found out about this last Friday.

 

I feel very broken in spirit. I used to have a very strong faith but that has diminished. For some, their faith grows when they beat cancer. For me, I got totally #@%#^ at whatever supreme being allowed it to happen in the first place. I work in a hospital and every time I see a bald child in the children's cancer wing, I question....WHY?

 

My husband and I are relatively young. Mid 40s. We have a 15yr old, 11 yr old, and a 3 yr old. I had my life all planned out to be sitting by him on the patio drinking coffee at sunrise well into our 70s. Now, I'm overcome with just how little control I have over that.

 

Hubby is looking at this cruise as a celebration. His cancer was 'good' - in situ. I refuse to attach the word 'good' to any cancer. I have fantasies of squeezing the life out of cancer cells and laughing at them taking their last, gasping breath. Yeah, I'm walking around pretty pissed right now.

 

I guess my question is - what is the use of enjoying this vacation? I know, some of you are like, this chick is crazy! But I'm being serious. If I'm going to make amazing memories of walking the Baths with my girls and hubby or watching our toddler build sand castles, won't it hurt that much more if something happens? The sweeter life it, the more it hurts when it all goes south. It is almost like I want to close myself into a dark room and not care about anyone or anything to avoid hurt. Selfish? Yes. But, my spirit is so broken right now.

 

I just don't see how people can fully enjoy life when there is always that threat of the other shoe dropping. I'm so blessed with my family. I love them so much that it is painful. Anything happening to them would destroy me.

 

Hubby looks at his Hodgkins as a gift. What was terrifying and horrendous to me was something that gave him great joy to parcel out just how precious life is. It left him grateful and happy. It left me angry and afraid.

 

I must say, if you met me on the street, you would have no idea I feel this way. I hold down a full time job, am a fabulous mother (if I do say so myself)....by all appearances, I'm not some seething, dark, afraid person. But it is there. Always. I was lucky enough to marry my soul-mate. I'm quite confident there is no one in this world who was better matched for me (and I for him). That knowledge is wonderful but also scary.

 

I guess I'm rambling at this point. I had been looking so forward to this cruise with my girls, my DH and my parents. It has been a bad winter and I couldn't wait to get in the sun and heat. Now, I don't even want to go. I have a sort of 'what is the use'.

 

The truth is, whatever cancer he had was either cut out completely or he will have another resection on Friday. I'm in health care and have access to all sorts of journals. Most journals don't even classify this as a true cancer. Pre-cancer is the term that is used. We see the oncologist on Friday and the best thing he can say to me is that I can view this as the skin cancers people get taken off. Those don't scare me. I've had a couple myself.

 

Please, if you could take a second and, I don't know, give some suggestions on how I can get back to that excitement I had before the path report came back. All of us are terminal. None of us live forever. I know there are people out there that are in MUCH worse places than I am. I'm in awe of their strength and courage. I want to be able to cherish the good times without this 'what if' hanging over my head.

 

Thanks - ya'll may think I'm a loon for posting on a cruise board but I've been on this board forever and so many share my feelings on so many things - we treat cruises as not just the week we are gone but the prep before, the planning.....it is so much more than those 7 days. For us, cruising is our reward for the years spent living on Ramen, studying until 3am. It is the week or two where we glue ourselves to each other's hips and get to know one another again. It is the week we talk about for months afterwards.

Anger is a completely normal human emotion that some people experience after going through traumatic events. So there is no need to think that you are crazy for feeling this way. It is a coping mechanism.

 

It sounds like you have been through a lot the last few years. And you are absolutely correct. Sometimes life really sucks and can be very cruel. The important thing for you right now is to find a healthy way to deal with your anger. Each of us deals with anger in our own way, and you need to find what works for you. I'd be willing to bet that simply sharing your thoughts and feelings here was cathartic for you. Do you have a close friend or clergy that you could safely share your feelings with? Since it doesn't sound like you have done that yet, I'm guessing you may be used to being the rock for everyone around you. Maybe giving yourself permission to take for a little while could help. Talking about it can help a lot. And so can trying to counter the bad things that you see around you by getting involved in your own way to make a difference for someone else. There really is something about that that can help you work through this situation.

 

It sounds like you are blessed with a wonderful, loving family. Count your blessings. Go on your cruise with them and try to spend some time reflecting on your past and planning for how you'd like to make it better in the future. There can be something very healing about being on the water. Find some alone time. Pray for strength. And maybe do some Internet research to find a good self-help book to take with you to read on your cruise. Time has a way of healing too. If this anger has been building for a few years, it isn't likely to go away overnight.

 

We are all thinking about you and hope that you find inner peace once again. We all face trials and tribulations in life. You will get through this and emerge on the other side a stronger person with even greater compassion for others. Adversity has a way of helping us build character.

 

Be sure and stay in touch with us here and let us know how your cruise went.

 

I hope you have a great cruise with your family.

[t1adams]

I think I am an excellent person to give you advice on this one. I lost my oldest child/son at the age of 14, just five years ago in June. He died of a freak accident. I have two remaining children still here with me on earth. My daughter is now 15, and my other son is now 11. I know exactly what you mean worrying that this could happen again. There are days that I start to worry that some sort of freak accident could also happen to my daughter or my other son. The demons in my head (actually, I know they are simply Satan's demons) sometimes will tell me "hey, this happened once, who says it will never happen again?" But, I know where these thoughts are coming from, and it's not from me or my God. You said you weren't sure there's a greater power out there. Have you ever considered maybe this is God drawing the line in the sand for you right now? Maybe, just maybe, He is trying to tell you "it's time to make a decision. Either you trust in me and know I have your best interest in mind, or you go on your own from this point forward." His word does say "Trust in Me with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, acknowledge me in all you do and I will direct your path." And also "All things work for the good of those who believe in Me." My faith tells me that He is the Alpha, the Omega, the beginning and the end. I have no choice but to trust in the process. I suggest at least try it out. Simply go into prayer and ask God to take over these scary thoughts in your mind, and please show you a sign that better days are ahead. And in exchange, you will in the meantime trust in the process. Does this all mean that every day is a great day for me now? No! But, on my week or days, I try and ask the Lord to take the stress and worry from me and it usually works.

 

We just returned from a seven-day cruise yesterday. I need these cruises to help me look forward to the future with the family I have left. And someways, having a cruise to look forward to each year, has been a literal lifesaver!! Enjoy your cruise! I suggest trying to settle these issues between you and God before you go so that your vacation will be full of nothing but peace and pleasure!!! :) have fun and get plenty of relaxation!!!

 

 

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[grandmacani]

Please take this wonderful vacation and make some glorious memories. Just remember we are all waiting for a shoe to drop. It's just that it's not in our sight line. Nothing we can say will ease your concern but know we are with you. Oh yes, and wish we were with you on that cruise. Don't wait for tomorrow, make today count!

[pcdaddy]

Carmel,

 

First off, your feelings are entirely normal. Your life has been thrown off track and uncertainty has been introduced. Fear and resentment are appropriate responses to that.

 

Let me tell you a bit about myself: My father died one month after I was born. My mother raised six children alone, and then died too young of breast cancer. I have survived a double lung transplant, and a heart attack by my 50th birthday. The reason I'm telling you this is to make the point that it always does go south. It is inevitable. Sometimes the shoe drops multiple times in a life. You cannot control the what or the when of that, it's just part of the condition of living. what you can do is embrace the rest of it.

 

To enjoy your life to the fullest IN SPITE of the bad that can, and often does, happen is a mindset. It is a matter of taking stock of what you have, and measuring how much you value that against the fear and pain of losing it. If the value is greater than your fear (and I strongly suspect by your sharing of your crisis that it is), then the only answer is to tend to, treasure and enjoy what you value - in your case, that's your husband and children. Your husband has won some great victories - I know his feelings, and I can tell you that it feels gooooooood! Share that with him. If he is standing up ready for the next fight, stand next to him. The comfort of having your soul mate fighting right next to you is greater than I can ever say, and I owe my wife a debt I'll never be able to repay because she has always fought alongside of me. Your children are learning lessons at tender ages that they shouldn't have to learn. But teach them the most valuable lesson of all, - that life must be lived and damn the problems! The good times are the fuel that get you through the bad times, and you have what they like to call a "seriously teachable moment" here. You'd be passing on one heck of a life lesson by throwing your head back and laughing your a** off on your cruise. Your family wants to go and enjoy, and they are your everything. Go and enjoy them, and your time with them. When your worries and resentment start to creep up on you, remember the value vs fear equation, and enjoy your treasures.

 

I hope that you can "forget to pack" those worries, and that you enjoy your trip to the fullest. I wish your husband the best in his fight. Tell him that there's a guy out there cheering him on.

[JudyOh]

I am 70 years old and will be celebrating our 50th anniversary this October. During our lives together our house was totally destroyed by a tornado (in fact we celebrated the 40th anniversary of it this weekend with a huge party with our former neighbors. Four years ago our sweet 3 year old grandson died suddenly. I could not do anything without starting to cry uncontrollable, if I was driving I would have to pull over and I would just sit there and cry for an untold amount of time. I was turning into a bitter person quickly. I went to my ob-gyn for a yearly checkup and she says how's life and I cried for two hours in her office. She talked and talked to me then gave me a prescription for ******, I told her I wasn't going to take it. But as time went on and I became worse, now not even enjoying my other three grandsons I decided to take it. Within three days I felt like a new person, I wanted to live again, I enjoyed doing things especially with the other grandsons, it was a new me. I took it for about 2 years and stopped until my husband had a heart attack and open heart surgery in Dec then I went back on it. My motto now is "**** happens", deal with it. I now can speak about my grandson, tear up sometimes but I can enjoy his short life. I tell people I have 3 grandsons and an angel. I picture him with a little white gown and wings, climbing trees and getting into all kinds of mischief in heaven. If my doctor had not given me a prescription for ****** I don't know where I would be or what mental state I would be in. A tornado destroying your home and everything in it, the death of a 3 year old grandson and a husband who has just had a heart attack, all in less than 50 years. Go on the cruise, enjoy yourself and make memories for yourself and your family, but first go talk to your doctor, there are things that can help, ****** has no side affects, you can stop it whenever and not have withdrawl. I'm so glad my doctor was persistent on my taking the prescription. Enjoy life, day by day.

[carmel]

Well, I'm here in tears of gratitude. I KNEW this was the place to share. There is something out there that 'habitual cruisers' have. I can not put my finger on it nor explain it. There is something about our community - we fight over tableclothes, kids in the whirlpool, smuggling booze onboard, etc but when it comes down to it, we share that 'thing' in life. Something about living to cruise. It is not the week on the boat but the community you are living in while with your fellow guests. It is that cup of coffee at sunrise or that walk along the jogging track at sunset. For me, it was watching Montserrat spewing lava in the distance on my So Carib cruise. In a way, it puts perspective on your place in the universe.

 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your advice and stories. I get irritated with hubby because he does live in the moment. When a song comes on the radio he likes and I'm trying to get dinner, he grabs me and forces me to slow dance with him. He calls me on the back deck when I'm trying to pick up toys in the family room to show me a sunset because he knows coral is my favorite color.

 

I like the advice of laughing AT cancer - of having a good time showing it that it may as well stay away since we are always going to BEAT IT.

 

I do feel much better than this morning. I started out the day okay but then I got to thinking of the appt on Friday at the oncon's office and it brought back so much fear I had when we went through Hodgkins. Hubby keeps reminding me this is a mere speck compared to that. He had a 10 centimeter tumor pressing on his heart. This is a 1" long epithelial lesion that has been excised.

 

Thank you thank you thank you. Please continue to post. I'm getting so much strength reading this. I'm going to print them out and read them when the fear starts bubbling up.

[pcdaddy]

There you go!!

[gemsm]

I just have a simple experience to tell you about. We bought my parents a balcony on the Carnival Liberty for their 50th wedding anniversary. My sister and I and their best couple friends surprised them the day they boarded and we spent a week celebrating with them. We sailed in February even though their anniversary is not until May because that was the best time for the itinerary we wanted to go on.

 

A week after we returned from that trip my Dad was diagnosed with Lung Cancer. We all got angry...My sister, my mom and I but every time the sadness got overwhelming we would think about all the great memories we made on that trip and it made the sadness and anger just a little easier to deal with. I know my Dad is much older then your DH and has lived a long full life but he (and us) is just not ready to go yet so he is fighting with everything he has to beat this cancer. And when he does we will go on another cruise to celebrate the joy of life.