Dining room policy-I don't get it

[sail7seas]

What era were you born or come of age in, if I may ask?

 

I hesitate to suggest modifications to someone's choice of words, but what we seem to have here is a failure to communicate. As soon as you used the term "gentleman", the question about hats in the dining room became moot. I can think of no commentary of any sort which might imply that a gentleman would EVER wear a hat in a dining room unless it were for medical or religious purposes.

 

I am assuming, of course, that when you say "gentleman" you actually mean a man of some sensitivity and finesse - and not simply the male of the species.

 

 

 

LOL... and smiles all around. :)

 

[chrispb]

Kids running amok in dining rooms and lido are my pet hate. I've lost count of the times I've turned around with a hot plate in my hand and almost tripped over tiny tots practically under my feet. It's sometimes difficult to avoid adults milling about, but those little 'uns are too low to the ground and hidden by the plates being carried. It was even harder when trays were still being used, the kids were totally invisible.

 

Parents should have the common sense to keep them in their seats when hot food is being carried. They'd be the first ones to shout if their little darlings were scalded.

[Retired 07]

Of course the loud kids running amok are a real imposition while wearing a hat in a dining room is merely a minor discourtesy; however they both represent a self-absorbed disinterest in the rights of others. The first is certainly more serious, but both represent the changes from the 1940's attitudes which some posters have mentioned dismissively.

 

I really don't understand how wearing a hat represents a "self-absorbed disinterest in the rights of others" What rights? The right to have a meal without looking at a hat?:eek:

[nana541]

Can someone please post a link to an etiquette column that talks about how it's okay for men to wear a hat in a restaurant? I've looked... really looked... and I can't find anything.

 

 

Only if it's raining in the dining room! That's a direct quote from my Great Grandmother and I won't be arguing with her.....

 

Just very poor manners!

 

 

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Edited October 1, 2014 by nana541

[chrispb]

Odd. I've just googled "talking with food in mouth". All of the hits on the first page deal with etiquette. Not a single one with health or sanitation risks. Sorry, your "explanation" isn't valid to me.

 

 

Probably because food particles could be sprayed over others (yuck) or the person may be too busy yacking to concentrate on chewing properly and will choke. Either would count as H&S risks, I think:cool:

[Retired 07]

Odd. I've just googled "talking with food in mouth". All of the hits on the first page deal with etiquette. Not a single one with health or sanitation risks. Sorry, your "explanation" isn't valid to me.

 

How about shouting or TYPING IN ALL CAPS? Those are considered offensive and disrespectful. Neither is a health or sanitation risk.

 

Some things are just done (or not done) in polite society and have no explanation. Things like saying 'please' and 'thank you' serve no purpose other than being polite. An act like slamming the door in another's face is considered rude by our society. Does anyone really need an explanation why?

 

The OP is going against what is considered proper etiquette. I'm still wondering why he feels wearing a hat indoors isn't offensive and disrespectful.

The things you mentioned are offensive and disrespectful, and some are disgusting. I just see nothing disrespectful about wearing a hat. Please tell me where the offensiveness and lack of respect enter the picture?

[Retired 07]

Perhaps the OP is a female passenger. I don't see any reference to gender.

 

What difference would that make?

[navybankerteacher]

I really don't understand how wearing a hat represents a "self-absorbed disinterest in the rights of others" What rights? The right to have a meal without looking at a hat?:eek:

 

I know that Southern California is a special place - perhaps one where the courtesies normal in the rest of the country are unknown - but yes: wearing a hat indoors is, in most environments, oafish - and doing so in a fairly formal environment such as a cruise ship main dining room is a gesture of disrespect to ones fellow passengers. No, it does not hurt me in any way - beyond, of course my feeling of pity for such a person's unawareness.

[cruising cockroach]

It's just the normal social convention and etiquette in just about all white (which I'm not) anglo countries (of which I've lived in 3) that I'm aware of, at least for people over the age of ~30.

Edited October 1, 2014 by cruising cockroach

[Retired 07]

I know that Southern California is a special place - perhaps one where the courtesies normal in the rest of the country are unknown - but yes: wearing a hat indoors is, in most environments, oafish - and doing so in a fairly formal environment such as a cruise ship main dining room is a gesture of disrespect to ones fellow passengers. No, it does not hurt me in any way - beyond, of course my feeling of pity for such a person's unawareness.

 

Okay, so if it does not hurt you in any way, why are so many people against it? As far as you feeling pity for such a person's unawareness, it doesn't match mine for another's narrow-mindedness, and snobbishness>

[DrTee]

What difference would that make?

 

Women are permitted to wear hats in most social etiquette.

[I_r_a]

>the dining room manager came over and politely asked me to remove my hat.

 

Would you have preferred him to have rudely pulled it off your head, thrown it on the floor and stamped on it?

 

Ira

[nana541]

Do posters in this board really think it's good manners to wear a hat indoors???? Really? And in the Main Dining Room of a lovely cruise ship?

 

Unbelievable, what some people apparently think is acceptable.

 

Gentlemen unless it's raining inside please be respectful and remove your hat!

 

 

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[jimmy2x]

I really don't understand how wearing a hat represents a "self-absorbed disinterest in the rights of others" What rights? The right to have a meal without looking at a hat?:eek:

 

If you want to wear your hat - THEN WEAR IT! Seeking validation from a group of folks that were not raised by wolves is pointless and wearisome.

Edited October 1, 2014 by jimmy2x

[Retired 07]

Women are permitted to wear hats in most social etiquette.

 

Well, that seems pretty sexist!

[Retired 07]

>the dining room manager came over and politely asked me to remove my hat.

 

Would you have preferred him to have rudely pulled it off your head, thrown it on the floor and stamped on it?

 

Ira

 

Of course not! But I would have preferred not to be asked such an inane question.

[Retired 07]

If you want to wear your hat - THEN WEAR IT! Seeking validation from a group of folks that were not raised by wolves is pointless and wearisome.

 

I am not seeking validation. I'm just trying to understand the concept of disrespect and offensiveness for wearing a hat indoors. Are you implying that those of us who wear hats indoors were "raised by wolves"?

[Retired 07]

Do posters in this board really think it's good manners to wear a hat indoors???? Really? And in the Main Dining Room of a lovely cruise ship?

 

Unbelievable, what some people apparently think is acceptable.

 

Gentlemen unless it's raining inside please be respectful and remove your hat!

 

 

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How about in the Lido? Is it ok to wear a hat there at breakfast or lunch?

[LMaxwell]

Odd. I've just googled "talking with food in mouth". All of the hits on the first page deal with etiquette. Not a single one with health or sanitation risks. Sorry, your "explanation" isn't valid to me.

 

 

Yes, we all know how invalid those germs are on cruise ships.

 

The point of the matter is, good etiquette or not, norm or not, etc., a person wearing a hat inside a room you are in poses absolutely no threat to your health or safety and I'd truly think you have other things with which to give your attention to. The staff are empowered to enforce policies so leave it to them to decide if they will or not.

 

I suppose I could say that a response of "This is just always the way it has been done" is invalid to me as while that may be true, it provides no reasoning to me for why it is better than doing it a different way than the accepted norm.

 

So, besides the "that's always how it has been" excuse do you have an actual, valid reason why a hat indoors is bad form?

[nana541]

>the dining room manager came over and politely asked me to remove my hat.

 

 

 

Would you have preferred him to have rudely pulled it off your head, thrown it on the floor and stamped on it?

 

 

 

Ira

 

 

No the Dining Room Manager was discrete and respectful, while reminding you about the hat you apparently forgot was residing on your head :)

 

 

 

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Edited October 1, 2014 by nana541

[jimmy2x]

I am not seeking validation. I'm just trying to understand the concept of disrespect and offensiveness for wearing a hat indoors. Are you implying that those of us who wear hats indoors were "raised by wolves"?

 

I didn't IMPLY anything - the discussion was about the MDR. Thought I was being quite explicit.

[nana541]

How about in the Lido? Is it ok to wear a hat there at breakfast or lunch?

 

 

Is it raining in the Lido???

 

I'm sorry I was raised to the rule that if you are indoors.... As walked in the door any where, your hat immediately comes off.... When in doubt take it off! Unless of course it's raining :)

 

Based on this rule, McDonalds applies, as does the Lido.

 

Just my Great Grandmothers rule but I think good manners are "timeless".

 

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Edited October 1, 2014 by nana541

[Retired 07]

I didn't IMPLY anything - the discussion was about the MDR. Thought I was being quite explicit.

 

Sorry...I misunderstood.

[taxmantoo]

How about in the Lido? Is it ok to wear a hat there at breakfast or lunch?

 

Unless they have taken the roof off, it is still inside and definitely not OK. Time of day has nothing to do with it!

[Retired 07]

No the Dining Room Manager was discrete and respectful, while reminding you about the hat you apparently forgot was residing on your head :)

 

 

 

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I forgot nothing! and yes the dining room manager was discrete and respectful. I never said otherwise.