Child Safety - Overreacting or Not?

[reallyitsmema]

It really doesn't matter what he nor anyone else thinks is acceptable. The only thing that matters are rules or laws. Yes, the teens were in violation of curfew but the man may not have known that or possibly didn't want to get the girls into trouble. Either why, what does it matter?

 

But let's get one thing straight. The man in the story is the only one innocent of breaking any rule. The kids are guilty of breaking curfew and IMO the parents are guilty of using common sense. The only innocent party here is the one being jumped on.

 

Any adult sitting down in an elevator with 3 teens at 1:30am is a little bizarre. For him to state that he was protecting them from getting in trouble with security raise a red flag in my book. Security is there to protect everyone, these girls were wrong to be out unaccompanied after curfew. Their parents should really get their heads examined telling young girls to go somewhere else.

 

The whole incident is strange. The OP SIL should have gone directly to guest services when she first saw the girls so they could have been escorted back to their cabins by security. The guy who sat down with them needs to have a little common sense and he should have also told guest services.

 

At the end of the day, it was the parents who should have been read the riot act by security.

[brfan]

Agreed! Can't believe parents thought it was OK for young teen/preteens to "hang out" somewhere so they could sleep! The curfew at 1AM is even generous I think - the ship is very empty in public areas before that and could have unsafe situations arise.

 

I may have a dirty mind but I'm thinking that sleeping wasn't what the parents were doing. :D

 

I think that calling security was the right thing.

 

While I can kind of agree that it is unfair to assume that the man was creepy and was a danger to the girls, but I also think that it's best to be on the safe side. Also wasn't the man putting himself in a bad position, what if one or both of the girls accused him of doing something improper? He would be hard pressed to defend himself and Royal would have likely kicked him off the ship just to be safe.

[Paul65]

And the same goes for a woman. Until I posted, everyone thought the guy was creepy because he was a guy.

 

Not necessarily. People thought it was creepy for a middle-aged man to be hanging out in an elevator with young teen girls who were strangers to him, helping them skirt the curfew rules.

 

You don't think anything sounds a little off there? I would think it a little off if a woman, who was also a stranger to the kids, was doing the same thing, but I will admit that a man doing it is a little scarier. You could call that sexism, but it is reality that most sexual predators tend to be male. (And no, I'm not automatically assuming that a guy doing this would be a sexual predator, but there is certainly a chance that he could be.)

Edited June 21, 2015 by Paul65

[kyriecat]

I found a copy of the cruise compass. It says "For the well-being of our guests 17 and under, Royal Caribbean has put a curfew of 1:00 am into effect. All guests 17 years of age and younger must be accompanied by an adult when in public areas after this time." I didn't see anything that said the adult must be a parent or guardian.

 

I realize that there are gaps in the story. The girls' parents may have sent them to the teen club and gone to bed at 10 or 11, expecting the girls to return immediately to the cabin when the club closed at 1. The parents may not have realized that the girls were out after curfew.

 

My SIL probably should have called security when the girls admitted that they were hiding in the elevator because security had previously told them to go to their cabin. Initially my SIL wasn't going to say anything because the girls were together (safety in numbers theory), they weren't misbehaving (playing cards on the elevator floor is unusual but not necessarily against any rules), and the next day was a port day so very few people were awake to use the elevators.

 

Some of the posters are right. The situation may have been completely innocent. The man may have been travelling with his wife, who went to bed earlier than him. He might have been like my SIL and wanted a drink or snack before bed and found the girls in the elevator. He may have been a fan of the card game they were playing and asked to join them to kill some time. In any case, it was bad judgement on his part to sit in the elevator. It was their sitting in the elevator after admitting to hiding from security that made my SIL question the situation. If the group had moved to a table in the promenade to play cards, my SIL probably wouldn't have noticed them or thought anything was unusual.

 

My SIL wasn't sure whether she should say anything but decided that if her son was out after curfew with a strange adult, she would want to know about it and called for security when she got to her cabin. My SIL said she waited about 10 minutes after she called, then returned to the elevators to check on the situation. No one was in the elevator and she didn't see anyone from security to ask. The adult and teens may have gone their separate ways before security showed up. If security found the group, I don't know if they escorted the girls to their cabins or talked to the parents.

[Havingfun2010]

And the same goes for a woman. Until I posted, everyone thought the guy was creepy because he was a guy. You can't look at a persona and tell if he/she has good intentions or not and, IMO, the SIL was a bit nosy in trying to find out if there was any relation or not between the two. The kids were out past curfew, why didn't the SIL call security then instead of waiting until she saw a man with them? Would she call security if a woman had been with them? Would she have been nosy enough to ask if a woman was related? If the kids are breaking curfew, call security for that reason if you are so inclined. And someone should smack the parents for telling them to leave the cabin without them in the first place (at that time of night).

 

If someone wants to live in fear of "what ifs" then they should barricade themselves in their house, close all the blinds, and pray a tornado or hurricane doesn't come.

It takes a village to raise a child. The poster followed a gut filling and did the right thing. Everyone is afraid of getting involved today. Parents need to wake up.

[Summerknight]

It takes a village to raise a child. The poster followed a gut filling and did the right thing. Everyone is afraid of getting involved today. Parents need to wake up.

 

As a mother of five, I would have called security. I'm sure they simply asked the girls to return to their cabin and no one got in "trouble." We live in a very scarey world.

[doug1974]

What is out there at 1 am for teen girls. Trouble!! I would never let my daughter walk a ship at that time in the morning and I don't care if they had friends. Parents need security called on them for not being parents.

[Out to sea!]

Not necessarily. People thought it was creepy for a middle-aged man to be hanging out in an elevator with young teen girls who were strangers to him, helping them skirt the curfew rules.

 

You don't think anything sounds a little off there? I would think it a little off if a woman, who was also a stranger to the kids, was doing the same thing, but I will admit that a man doing it is a little scarier. You could call that sexism, but it is reality that most sexual predators tend to be male. (And no, I'm not automatically assuming that a guy doing this would be a sexual predator, but there is certainly a chance that he could be.)

 

Truthfully, if I saw a guy with three teenage girls sitting on the floor of an elevator the only thing I would thing is "why the hell are they taking up all of this elevator space?". I surely would not have inquired into their relationship nor would have I said anything other than hello and goodbye.

[Out to sea!]

It takes a village to raise a child. The poster followed a gut filling and did the right thing. Everyone is afraid of getting involved today. Parents need to wake up.

 

See, that right there is one of those sayings that just pisses me off. It took me and my wife to raise our children properly and that is the way it should be. We made those kids and we are the only one responsible for those kids, no one else. I don't want or need a village to raise my children and I sure don't want stupid thoughts like this put into their head by said villagers either. I raised my kids to be independent thinkers and adults and not need a village worth of input to do what they think is right. Maybe that is why I just mind my own business unless I see a serious safety issue in progress (a guy with a knife or gun in his hand pointed at the kids would have put me into action.....not playing cards on the floor of an elevator).

 

You have a right to your opinion and it may be valid for you but it's not valid for everyone else and please don't assume it is.

Edited June 21, 2015 by Out to sea!

[Paul65]

Truthfully, if I saw a guy with three teenage girls sitting on the floor of an elevator the only thing I would thing is "why the hell are they taking up all of this elevator space?". I surely would not have inquired into their relationship nor would have I said anything other than hello and goodbye.

 

I probably wouldn't have either. But, in the story related, the person did strike up a conversation with the kids earlier, finding out that they were hanging out in the elevator trying to evade security, because they were out past curfew. Then later, the same person saw them with someone else, and already having talked with the girls earlier, asked about the new adult that had joined the party.

 

So, really, whether or not you or I would have struck up the same conversation wasn't really the question.

[awhfy]

Id have called security when the girls said they were trying to evade security. Curfew is for a reason. I'd hope security escorted them to their cabin & waited until they were inside

[toxicfairy]

The ships are like small cities. They do not finger print and run background checks as you enter. The parents who went to bed and let their kids go out for the night basically were letting their kids run around the city unsupervised in the middle of the night. Bars and clubs on board start to close , adults that have been drinking all day /night start to make their way back to their cabins. Some in a rowdy mood , some calmly. Yes she did the right thing . Just my opinion as the mom of 2 grown kids and the step mom of a teen.

[Donna_In_India]

It really doesn't matter what he nor anyone else thinks is acceptable. The only thing that matters are rules or laws. Yes, the teens were in violation of curfew but the man may not have known that or possibly didn't want to get the girls into trouble. Either why, what does it matter?

 

But let's get one thing straight. The man in the story is the only one innocent of breaking any rule. The kids are guilty of breaking curfew and IMO the parents are guilty of using common sense. The only innocent party here is the one being jumped on.

 

The man KNEW the girls were breaking curfew. Why would he be "protecting" them from security? He is also guilty of using common sense! Not to mention that he was helping them break curfew by pretending to be with them.

[Big_G]

Usually people should go with their gut feeling. That way they don't regret it later when they find out the worst. Maybe it was an innocent encounter but what was the worst case scenario by reporting it, security would interrupt a card game and escort the children safely to their room? Better safe than sorry.

[Out to sea!]

The man KNEW the girls were breaking curfew. Why would he be "protecting" them from security? He is also guilty of using common sense! Not to mention that he was helping them break curfew by pretending to be with them.

 

That may be but is it a cruiser's responsibility to do Security's job? If one wants to report issues to Security that is fine but are you saying a cruise is required to? If not, then it doesn't matter if the man knew it or not as it is obvious he wasn't going to report it.

[RCI Cruisers 004]

She absolutely did the right thing !

[orville99]

It takes a village to raise a child. The poster followed a gut filling and did the right thing. Everyone is afraid of getting involved today. Parents need to wake up.

 

 

The only thing a village has ever raised is a village idiot. It takes a parent (or two) to raise a child, and that was clearly lacking here.

[toxicfairy]

The ships are like small cities. They do not finger print and run background checks as you enter. The parents who went to bed and let their kids go out for the night basically were letting their kids run around the city unsupervised in the middle of the night. Bars and clubs on board start to close , adults that have been drinking all day /night start to make their way back to their cabins. Some in a rowdy mood , some calmly. Yes she did the right thing . Just my opinion as the mom of 2 grown kids and the step mom of a teen.

[SPacificbound]

I'm not going to read all the replies... but as a mom and a g'ma seeing young girls out at 1:30AM with parents not watching out for them would have scared the crap out of me.

 

I believe in that circumstance I would alert the staff to call the parent's room.

It's the parent's responsibility to take care of their kids, and apparently that was not being done.

[steveru621]

1) What I got from the OP was SIL was correct in being concerned. Beyond that...

2) Free Range children are not to be tolerated. A police officer should be assigned to every child. until they are 18.

3) Every child I have ever known does not lie. If they said their guardians kicked them out of their rooms, who am I to question?

4) This man was an obvious pedophile and could not have been more concerned than SIL. Women are always correct.

5) Everyone involved definitely should have been thrown off the ship at the next port.

6) In all my life I have never ever seen teenagers misbehaving, it just does not happen,

 

IMHO...

[jakenashleysmom]

For the record, security does not escort children to their rooms when they get caught out after cerfew. They call your room and you have to go to guest services to claim them....true story! Not sure what they do if you are not in your cabin. I am surprised security let them go in this instance, but as the op stated there were holes in the story.

 

Sent from my KFTHWI using Forums mobile app

[kyriecat]

On this cruise it did not appear that security was taking minors to cabins or guest relations after curfew. My husband and I were walking around on deck 11 the first night of the cruise. A few minutes after 1, two security guards came by. They saw a group of 8 teens who were just sitting in chairs and talking quietly. The guards asked if any of them were over 18. None were so the guards told them to go to their cabins. The kids left, but the guards didn't follow to make sure they went to their cabins.

 

It could be the guards walked through the public areas around 1 to issue reminders about curfew. If children were caught later, then they were taken to parents or guest relations. I didn't personally witness any youngsters in public areas much later than 1 who weren't with an adult.

[SHICHIDAN]

I found a copy of the cruise compass. It says "For the well-being of our guests 17 and under, Royal Caribbean has put a curfew of 1:00 am into effect. All guests 17 years of age and younger must be accompanied by an adult when in public areas after this time." I didn't see anything that said the adult must be a parent or guardian.

 

I realize that there are gaps in the story. The girls' parents may have sent them to the teen club and gone to bed at 10 org 11,u expecting the girls to return immediately to the cabin when the club closed at 1. The parents may not have realized that the girls were out after curfew.

 

My SIL probably should have called security when the girls admitted that they were hiding in the elevator because security had previously told them to go to their cabin. Initially my SIL wasn't going to say anything because the girls were together (safety in numbers theory), they weren't misbehaving (playing cards on the elevator floor is unusual but not necessarily against any rules), and the next day was a port day so very few people were awake to use the elevators.

 

Some of the posters are right. The situation may have been completely innocent. The man may have been travelling with his wife, who went to bed earlier than him. He might have been like my SIL and wanted a drink or snack before bed and found the girls in the elevator. He may have been a fan of the card game they were playing and asked to join them to kill some time. In any case, it was bad judgement on his part to sit in the elevator. It was their sitting in the elevator after admitting to hiding from security that made my SIL question the situation. If the group had moved to a table in the promenade to play cards, my SIL probably wouldn't have noticed them or thought anything was unusual.

 

My SIL wasn't sure whether she should say anything but decided that if her son was out after curfew with a strange adult, she would want to know about it and called for security when she got to her cabin. My SIL said she waited about 10 minutes after she called, then returned to the elevators to check on the situation. No one was in the elevator and she didn't see anyone from security to ask. The adult and teens may have gone their separate ways before security showed up. If security found the group, I don't know if they escorted the girls to their cabins or talked to the parents.

 

Rampant speculation; Carry it further, security never went, the guy lured the girls to his cabin he got just for this purpose as he does on every cruise, one girl went with him while two just went to bed, ships security talked to the girls and was infatuated with one and targeted her for improper advances using his pass key, security sent a female guard who really likes mid teens and invites them to see the secret crew quarters, the girls wanted to do a thrill killing and were waiting for a unsuspecting victim to try and escort them to their cabin.

 

Good and bad people. With the number of responses we know at least one bad man and one bad woman have posted to this thread. Am I one of the bad ones, or is it you.

 

From a security standpoint the sil should have asked for all to go to guest services together as a group if concern was heightened within her and told all were staying together until ships personnel were notified and taken over.

 

Of course they could be the bad person.

 

All you can do as the person in the situation at the time is to use your common sense, training, life experiences and good old gut instinct to make a call and go with it. Right action, wrong action beats no action. Trust your gut, always!

[Thoie]

I wonder do security avoid escorting minors to their cabin, in case anyone suggests impropriety there too?

[Mark-Sheffield]

First thing, your sister-in-law did the right thing.

 

Child abusers do not wear labels and they come from all walks of society and can be very cunning and manipulative.

 

I do not think she over reacted at all and i would have got security to escort the teens to thier cabins and spoke to the parents.

Edited June 22, 2015 by Mark-Sheffield