Child Safety - Overreacting or Not?

[Out to sea!]

Maybe not a criminal act, however, any adult male that would put himself in a position to be alone in the company of minor children has a screw loose IMHO.

 

If you had minor children, would you want some strange adult male in their company in the wee hours of the morning?:confused:

 

And yet it's okay if an adult woman puts herself in the same position? A little sexist don't you think?

 

I had two minor children and I kept my eye on them at all times so others wouldn't have to.

[Nemomof3]

I have a 13 yr old daughter who also would have been in the cabin with me. But IF she had snuck out or something I would be very thankful for someone who turned her in for being and definitely if she were with an unknown adult man or woman. What were those parents thinking sending the kids out of their rooms at night???

[kyriecat]

I was surprised by the how many of my coworkers told me that their teens don"t have curfews. The teens have cell phones and parents can check on them.

 

When I was that age, I had to share hotel rooms with my folks on trips. If I wanted to stay up, I was given a book and a flashlight told to be quiet. No wandering the halls after the folks were in bed.

 

Security was telling kids to go to their cabins after curfew, but security wasn't escorting them. We saw them tell a group of teens in the pool that they had to go back to their cabins at 1. The kids left but I don't know whether they went to their cabins. I assume security would have told the girls to go to their cabins if they had decided to sit in the centrum.

 

My nephew was stopped one night after 1 while walking back to his cabin. He is 18 but looks younger. Security asked to see his seapass to verify his age then let him go. It was the first sailing of summer break so there were plenty of kids.

 

Even if only trying to be friendly, I think an adult hanging with teens is weird. If the man really wanted to be helpful, sending the girls to their cabins would have been a better choice, in my opinion.

[yolanda1]

I was on an RC ship a couple weeks ago with my sister-in-law. One night she wanted some coffee at around 1:30 AM. When she got on the elevator to go down to Cafe Promenade, there were 3 girls (she said they looked between 13 and 15) sitting on the floor, playing cards.

 

My SIL asked what they were doing and was told that they were two sisters and a cousin who were sailing with family. They were sharing cabins with their parents, who wanted to go to bed so told the girls to go somewhere else. The girls said they hung out in the teen club until it closed. They didn't want to go back to their cabins, but a security guy told them they couldn't hang out on the pool deck because curfew was 1 AM for under 18. The girls decided to sit in the elevator instead. My SIL thought it was weird but since the girls weren't being noisy or misbehaving, she decided not to say anything.

 

After she got some coffee, she ended up in the same elevator with the girls, but this time a man that my SIL said looked to be early to mid-50s had joined them. My SIL asked the man if he was related to the girls and he told her that he wasn't but was sitting with them so security would leave them alone.

 

My SIL thought it was really creepy that a man was hanging out with mid-teen girls who were not kin so she called guest relations when she got to her cabin to ask if they would send security to check out the situation. She went back to elevator about 10 minutes later and everyone was gone.

 

She asked me the next morning if I thought she had overreacted by calling for security. She wasn't trying to cause trouble and had no proof that the man was going to do anything to the girls, but she was concerned anyway. I thought she did the right thing, but I'm not an appropriate sounding-board since I don't have any kids.

 

After the cruise I mentioned the incident to some coworkers who have teens to see if they want security called if their teens were hanging out with an adult stranger. Many of them thought my SIL shouldn't have done anything. They said ships are safer than home and the odds of a pedophile being onboard are almost non-existent. Since the girls were together and had their parents' permission to be out past ship curfew, my SIL was interfering. I was surprised by the responses.

 

I am curious what other cruisers suggest to do in that situation. Ignore it? Call security? Confront the man?

 

My SIL told me that she didn't see either the girls or the man after that night and she hoped that her actions didn't cause anyone to be thrown off the ship. I don't think that not seeing them is really surprising considering the size of Navigator, and I also don't think RC would throw anyone off for just sitting in an elevator with underage girls or for letting kids stay out past curfew.

 

 

 

Yes, she did the right thing.

 

It never ceases to amaze me how many young people are allowed to roam freely on cruise ships at all hours unsupervised. It's like some parents really do not have any interest in what they are getting up to, and expect the cruise ship staff to police it. I've even heard someone say that they started cruising because it was the only type of vacation where they could forget all about the kids and let them do what they like. It's NOT safer than on land at all. The people who cruise are a very broad representation of the population - good and bad. There are several documented cases of children being taken advantage of by adult passengers and members of the crew.

 

On one cruise we were on, there were a couple of incidents involving minors. One where a teenage girl made an allegation against a teenage boy who had invited her to his room and she said he had abused her, and another one where 2 sets of parents were told they would be put off the ship if they didn't make sure their teenagers were not roaming around after curfew hours causing havoc. The kids were going up and down in the elevators and running away from security at 3am. The parents had abandoned them. I'm sure that if anything had happened to them, they would have blamed the cruise line.

 

Parents have to continue to be parents even when they are on a ship!

[nolesrule]

Curfew thoughts aside...

 

There were 3 of them together. As long as they stay together, they are going to be safe. 3 is even better than just the buddy system when it comes to the possibility of threatening adults.

 

Now if it was one kid wandering solo... that's a completely different issue.

[spookwife]

I'm not saying what your SIL did was right or wrong, but I'm curious...

If it was a 50-ish WOMAN in that situation, would it still be creepy?

I was raised by my dad after my parents got divorced...He is a kind and sweet man. I also used to baby sit for kids that lived with their dad. Once, while his daughter was in daycare, he went in to help out. Mothers freaked out that this dad was helping the kids (boys and girls) in the bathroom. I never heard anyone complain when other moms helped out the little ones in the bathroom.

It really upsets me when people look at men as creepers.

Just my 2 cents

 

 

you will notice that I have already stated I would have done the same thing as the OPs SiL even if it was a grandmotherly type.

 

creep factor is irrelevant. cruiseline policy says that after curfew minors must be in their cabin in or the presence of the adults sailing iwth them. since it was admitted that he was not part of the group those kids belonged to, security needed calling.

[spookwife]

Curfew thoughts aside...

 

There were 3 of them together. As long as they stay together, they are going to be safe. 3 is even better than just the buddy system when it comes to the possibility of threatening adults.

 

Now if it was one kid wandering solo... that's a completely different issue.

 

assume nothing. safety in numbers is NOT always true.

[Out to sea!]

I have a 13 yr old daughter who also would have been in the cabin with me. But IF she had snuck out or something I would be very thankful for someone who turned her in for being and definitely if she were with an unknown adult man or woman. What were those parents thinking sending the kids out of their rooms at night???

 

Agreed!

[celebrity]

Well, I'm not going to hop on the bandwagon. Yes, your SIL went overboard. Can anyone tell me in what year sitting down next to a kid became a criminal act? I agree, the parents are at fault for the kids being out so late but a guy sitting next to kids is not creepy, an indication of possible foul play, or a criminal act. If you don't that there were 3 kids in the elevator past curfew, call security for that but to call security because a man is sitting with them.......really?

 

I beg to differ. The gentleman may have had good intentions but what if he didn't?

The bigger issue is the irresponsible parents. 😡

Your SIL did the right thing and I really hope that security gave those thoughtless parents a stern warning.

[Out to sea!]

I beg to differ. The gentleman may have had good intentions but what if he didn't?

The bigger issue is the irresponsible parents.

Your SIL did the right thing and I really hope that security gave those thoughtless parents a stern warning.

 

And the same goes for a woman. Until I posted, everyone thought the guy was creepy because he was a guy. You can't look at a persona and tell if he/she has good intentions or not and, IMO, the SIL was a bit nosy in trying to find out if there was any relation or not between the two. The kids were out past curfew, why didn't the SIL call security then instead of waiting until she saw a man with them? Would she call security if a woman had been with them? Would she have been nosy enough to ask if a woman was related? If the kids are breaking curfew, call security for that reason if you are so inclined. And someone should smack the parents for telling them to leave the cabin without them in the first place (at that time of night).

 

If someone wants to live in fear of "what ifs" then they should barricade themselves in their house, close all the blinds, and pray a tornado or hurricane doesn't come.

Edited June 21, 2015 by Out to sea!

[squadron]

Your SIL did the right thing. Those kids should have gone to bed a long time ago. Bad things can and do happen on a ship just like everywhere else.

 

Agreed! Can't believe parents thought it was OK for young teen/preteens to "hang out" somewhere so they could sleep! The curfew at 1AM is even generous I think - the ship is very empty in public areas before that and could have unsafe situations arise.

[squadron]

Well, I'm not going to hop on the bandwagon. Yes, your SIL went overboard. Can anyone tell me in what year sitting down next to a kid became a criminal act? I agree, the parents are at fault for the kids being out so late but a guy sitting next to kids is not creepy, an indication of possible foul play, or a criminal act. If you don't that there were 3 kids in the elevator past curfew, call security for that but to call security because a man is sitting with them.......really?

 

Why didn't the man call security immediately? Can't believe that he thought three young girls out that late was acceptable - I think it was weird that he chose to stay with them instead of calling security.

[Sitzmark]

If it was a 50-ish WOMAN in that situation, would it still be creepy?

 

It would be to me. It is an adult who is helping kids they don't know circumvent rules that are in place at least in part for the safety of the kids. Adults don't typically seek out kids they don't know to hang out with in the middle of night. These are warning signs. I would have notified security.

[Ocean View]

If something doesn't feel right it prob isn't. The see something say something works for me! Better safe than sorry. She did the right thing!!

[Cel_cruise]

I absolutely would have said something.

 

I don't have an issue with parents going to the room and kids staying out until curfew / teen club closing if they (parents) choose to allow that. I do have an issue with it being beyond curfew and the girls trying to evade the officer that told them to go back to their rooms earlier.

 

I think that their decision to play in the elevator demonstrates that their maturity level was not high enough to be left alone without parental check ins or something.

[orville99]

Even if the man was the nicest person on the planet, all it would take is for one of thee girls to tell security that he was holding them against their will or had tried sommething inappropriate and he would have been tossed in irons. Boneheaded behavior all around.

[MAHA]

For whatever reason, the parents did not want the girls in their cabin. If they want to go to bed early or have adult time, they should have gotten 2 cabins and insisted the girls were in their cabin before the parents went to bed. If they cannot afford 2 cabins, then they ought to rethink letting teen girls roam the ship after curfew.

[BND]

Why didn't the man call security immediately? Can't believe that he thought three young girls out that late was acceptable - I think it was weird that he chose to stay with them instead of calling security.

 

If you read the OP's post, he was keeping security away from them by being there. That is irresponsible and, yes, creepy. Also, man or woman, a man is more likely to be a pedophile than a woman and if he was a "dad" looking out for them he wouldn't have been keeping security away, he would have been encouraging them to return to their cabin or allowing security near them and as an adult male, should never have been with them to begin with. It's just completely strange and raises lots of red flags. And, as others have pointed out, they were out after curfew and should not have been under any circumstances while their parents were asleep in their cabin. As I said previously, the parents should be ashamed of themselves. Yet, if anything would have happened, they would have blamed everyone else, except themselves.

 

Sorry, but them all alone, that late at night, makes them possible targets and being in a group of 3 doesn't make them safer. Plenty of girls who are attacked get lured away from their group. Always better safe than sorry. I'm just amazed that anyone would defend this guy considering the situation.

Edited June 21, 2015 by BND

[critterchick]

Well, I'm not going to hop on the bandwagon. Yes, your SIL went overboard. Can anyone tell me in what year sitting down next to a kid became a criminal act? I agree, the parents are at fault for the kids being out so late but a guy sitting next to kids is not creepy, an indication of possible foul play, or a criminal act. If you don't that there were 3 kids in the elevator past curfew, call security for that but to call security because a man is sitting with them.......really?

 

Sitting down next to them in public area during regular hours, perhaps not, but sitting on the floor of the elevator in the wee hours so security would leave them alone (what he apparently told the SIL and indicates that security already knew they were there) is creepy, whether it was a man or a woman. I don't have kids, but I would be highly suspicious of any adult who befriended a teenager (boy or girl) to help break the ship's rules, which are established for a reason.

 

And if security did know they were there before the man, the security officer should have escorted them back to their cabin.

 

I don't read the curfew notice closely, but do those subject to curfew have to be in the company of their own parents or just an adult?

[spookwife]

For whatever reason, the parents did not want the girls in their cabin. If they want to go to bed early or have adult time, they should have gotten 2 cabins and insisted the girls were in their cabin before the parents went to bed. If they cannot afford 2 cabins, then they ought to rethink letting teen girls roam the ship after curfew.

 

 

there you go making sense.

[spookwife]

 

I don't read the curfew notice closely, but do those subject to curfew have to be in the company of their own parents or just an adult?

 

an adult they are traveling with.. could be the 'rents, the grandparents, Big brother, any adult in the same cabin or party of the group.

 

not a random adult on the ship.

[reallyitsmema]

Sitting down next to them in public area during regular hours, perhaps not, but sitting on the floor of the elevator in the wee hours so security would leave them alone (what he apparently told the SIL and indicates that security already knew they were there) is creepy, whether it was a man or a woman. I don't have kids, but I would be highly suspicious of any adult who befriended a teenager (boy or girl) to help break the ship's rules, which are established for a reason.

 

And if security did know they were there before the man, the security officer should have escorted them back to their cabin.

 

I don't read the curfew notice closely, but do those subject to curfew have to be in the company of their own parents or just an adult?

 

The curfew is not specific, it states they must be accompanied by an adult or a guardian. The other point not noted in this thread is that kids are allowed out after curfew if they are participating in an organized event conducted by the Adventure Ocean staff. The teen areas are some times open until almost 2 am and as long as the kids are within those areas, they are fine.

[Grandprix]

If these teens were from the west coast time zone, 0130 local may not have been as late as some here think.

I still think that calling security was the right thing. There are way more creeps out there than anyone would ever fathom.

[Out to sea!]

Why didn't the man call security immediately? Can't believe that he thought three young girls out that late was acceptable - I think it was weird that he chose to stay with them instead of calling security.

 

It really doesn't matter what he nor anyone else thinks is acceptable. The only thing that matters are rules or laws. Yes, the teens were in violation of curfew but the man may not have known that or possibly didn't want to get the girls into trouble. Either why, what does it matter?

 

But let's get one thing straight. The man in the story is the only one innocent of breaking any rule. The kids are guilty of breaking curfew and IMO the parents are guilty of using common sense. The only innocent party here is the one being jumped on.

Edited June 21, 2015 by Out to sea!

[Out to sea!]

I'm just amazed that anyone would defend this guy considering the situation.

 

If you can tell me what rule or law he broke other than violating your sense of morals, I will agree with you. Otherwise, no, he as a paying customer has the right to be wherever (as authorized), whenever he wants on the cruise ship and your morals don't get to play a part in that.