The Butler Did It

[hockeyken]

I AM LOVING THESE RESPONSES! And this with four Margaritas and a glass of Rosa Regale in me which I winchestered while prepping for TB's birthday dinner. As a card-carrying narcissist and overall ham, I am loving these stories.

 

TC2: My "DH" is really my DW AKA TB or "The Boss." You must really be knee deep in your Windows 10. :eek:

 

As I peruse all the responses, I realize that someone should receive recognition for their contribution to my Butler dilemma. So far, the GOLDEN BUTLER Award has two front runners: FAST COMPANY (arranging tours) and Sheltieluv (The Boss is a popcorn addict) A close second is Mudhen with her graphic (hubba hubba) description of how to greet the butler.

 

Keep them coming!

 

Z and TB

 

:D:D Well Bubba, here are a few ideas (knowing you as I do ):

 

- have the Butler play your salsa records LOUD the way you like (and your neighbours hate )

 

- The Butler can call your Parole officer and pretend to be you, help you out of some jams.

 

- the Butler can have a small quantity of business cards made up : you know, the ones that say " Dr. Zqueeze : Gynecologist Free Pelvic Exams " . Worked quite well for you on a previous cruise.

 

Just don't ask him to keep you supplied with Rum : there is only so much one man or woman, can do.:eek::eek:

 

Your good friend : Sasquatch

[Sheltieluv]

Well, well, Z (or is it Bubba? Bubba!!):eek: I'm glad I could help with the popcorn suggestion!

 

Off topic (sorry) and not a suggestion on how to utilize the butler, but as an "aside"----Part way through our cruise, Raj, our butler, must have found out that we had donated to the crew fund, which is used to arrange events/parties for the crew, emergency funding to return home, etc. He thanked us with tears in his eyes as he expressed his appreciation. Turns out his brother had been critically injured in an accident (and subsequently died) the previous year, and the crew fund was instrumental in getting him home in this emergency. Sometimes people forget that these guys are human beings, not servants, who are far from home, missing their family and friends. Yes, it's their "job," and they know what they've signed up for, but beneath the dignified "butler" persona was a grieving brother.

 

We cruised 3 times with Regent, only once with a butler. You may or may not find that having a butler is worth the extra $. But, for us, it was a once in a lifetime trip, and Raj was, and is, remembered fondly.

 

Have a wonderful time on your cruise, and enjoy the popcorn!:)

[53flygirl]

I AM LOVING THESE RESPONSES! And this with four Margaritas and a glass of Rosa Regale in me which I winchestered while prepping for TB's birthday dinner. As a card-carrying narcissist and overall ham, I am loving these stories.

 

TC2: My "DH" is really my DW AKA TB or "The Boss." You must really be knee deep in your Windows 10. :eek:

 

As I peruse all the responses, I realize that someone should receive recognition for their contribution to my Butler dilemma. So far, the GOLDEN BUTLER Award has two front runners: FAST COMPANY (arranging tours) and Sheltieluv (The Boss is a popcorn addict) A close second is Mudhen with her graphic (hubba hubba) description of how to greet the butler.

 

Keep them coming!

 

Z and TB

 

Z

These gentlemen are wonderful and all about you and your trip being special. On my last cruise the couple next to my cabin held a cocktail party and invited the people they had met at the Captains table 2 days earlier. My brother in law and sister as well as my parents were on the guest list. My other sister and I were not since we had not been at the table. Never thought twice about it, but our butler was so unhappy.

 

The day of the cocktail party I was sitting on my balcony reading a book when I hear "Psst Missus". I turned around to see our butler with a huge grin leaning over the rail and around the partition holding a tray of canapés towards me. He asked what I would like to drink and I declined. His next response so surprised me - "oh no missus please (again with that big grin) would you like a scotch?"

Scotch was promptly delivered with another huge grin and a promise to return with another in 15 min. He did indeed.

 

Whether you choose to use your butler or not they will worm their way into your heart and do so with a huge smile!!

 

Have a fabulous time on your cruise with your DW:)

[Mudhen]

Adorable story! Loved it!

[Zqueeze1]

With the exception of my friend Ken (renowned wine taster from Toronto fired for his inflated ratings of boxed wine), these stories are really heart warming. We will definitely donate to the crew fund since we've seen first hand how difficult life can be for some of these folks when we were stationed in the Philippines as well as all the other odd places Uncle Sam used to send me.

 

I definitely like the idea of liquid canapes, popcorn for The Boss, and Crab Claws!

 

TC2: Will do on Zaldy and Dennis. As a certified member of the Name Droppers Association, I will reap the benefits of being associated with you. We also had a wonderful servant onboard The Navigator in April 2014. Gabby first introduced herself on day one by saying, When you are onboard, you are with family." She was spectacular.

 

Z and TB

 

P.S. With all the food mentioned above, how do survive? I'm afraid if I eat and drink plus consume whatever snacks, canapes, and drinks the butler provides, my waist size will be "Equator."

Edited August 6, 2015 by Zqueeze1

[53flygirl]

Thank you for this thread Z!

[vireya]

A few years ago, while doing the Amazon, we became friendly with a couple who had a cabin down the hall from us. We had butler service; they did not

 

At my doing, one evening our butler knocked on their door, announcing himself. Of course they replied that there was a mistake, cuz they did NOT have a butler. He replied that during each cruise, the ship selects one cabin to have a butler for the evening, and this time it was their turn. He then entered and set up a couple of snacks and poured into a margarita glass complete with salted rims, and WATER! One sip and they called our room quite indignant that I should set them up like that. Of course my wife denied any responsibility...saying twas the ship's fault, and besides, how could I be the one, as I was fast asleep doing my daily nap

 

To this day, every time we get together, they recall this trick. BTW, they live a few miles away from us.

 

The water trick is one I use a lot and always gets a great reaction.

[Zqueeze1]

Thank you for this thread Z!

 

 

You're welcome!

 

 

Sheltieluv: definitely not bubba. I got the nickname "Zqueeze" as a freshman at The Citadel when an upperclassman covered the first two letters of my last name, looked at the rest and said it looked like squeeze. To this day folks still call me that instead of Roberto.

 

Z and TB

[Sheltieluv]

Z, I thought of another thoughtful thing our butler did. I was in the laundry room ironing some clothing and he saw me, and immediately insisted that I let him finish the ironing! Since I hate ironing, I accepted his offer, but not before protesting that I was sure he had other things to do.

 

He assured me that it was his pleasure, and a few minutes later he showed up with my husband's freshly pressed shirt that he needed for the evening. (And he did a better job than I would have done, that's for darn sure!) Just another small example of how Regent staff will go the extra mile for their guests.

 

(thanks for the clarification of the Bubba name that your friend Ken referred to!) :)

[hockeyken]

Z, I thought of another thoughtful thing our butler did. I was in the laundry room ironing some clothing and he saw me, and immediately insisted that I let him finish the ironing! Since I hate ironing, I accepted his offer, but not before protesting that I was sure he had other things to do.

 

He assured me that it was his pleasure, and a few minutes later he showed up with my husband's freshly pressed shirt that he needed for the evening. (And he did a better job than I would have done, that's for darn sure!) Just another small example of how Regent staff will go the extra mile for their guests.

 

(thanks for the clarification of the Bubba name that your friend Ken referred to!) :)

 

:D:D:eek: Ask him to explain " Mr.Dinky". And if he tries to BS his way out, we have photographic proof. ;)

 

K

[Travelcat2]

While not as good as other stories, I do remember one that was unusual (at least for me). Our butler saw me walking down the hall carrying my shoes (this was right before my knee surgery and I couldn't walk in heels very far). He insisted on carrying my shoes. First I tried handing my Kindle and asked him to carry it instead. He ended up carrying both my Kindle and my shoes to the elevator (which was a fair walk). I was embarrassed but appreciative of how much he wanted to do things for us that made us happy.

 

Mostly we enjoy chatting with our butlers and learning about their lives in India (99% of our butlers have been from India). They are all lovely young men that are working on a cruise ship in order to better their lives and that of their families. They are professional yet kind and friendly. Several times we have been on a cruise and a butler we've had on a previous cruise comes up to say hi. We're really looking forward to meeting our butler on the Mariner next month!

[Sheltieluv]

Quote:"Ask him to explain " Mr.Dinky". And if he tries to BS his way out, we have photographic proof. ;)"

 

 

No way no how am I getting into the middle of this one!:)

(Sounds like you guys would be a hoot to cruise with!)

 

TC is so right about the butlers (and rest of the crew for that matter)--their faces will light up when you ask about their homes and families.

 

 

[newlondon]

Even when they are returning to India for an arranged marriage. Wow in the 21st century:eek:

[Pam]

We had made arrangements ahead of time, with corporate, to get off Voyager in Edinburgh for an overnight and get back on in Invergordon. As we checked off the ship, I happened to mention it to Dana, who was standing there seeing everybody off; the security man perked up and asked if they knew of this. Apparently, there wasn't a lot of communication between corporate and the actual ship, so he made the necessary notations and off we went. When we got back on the ship, we happened to run into our butler, who was highly indignant that we hadn't told HIM we were getting off the ship. He had worried about us! We never thought about letting him know, but we learned our lesson.

[greygypsy]

On our last cruise we finally got the nerve to ask our butler to pack for us the night before disembarkation. He brought in a couple of his butler pals and I swear we were all packed and ready to go in 15 minutes. Wow. Never did ask them to unpack for us. There is something wonderful about checking out your cabin for the first time, luggage arriving, putting everything away while your butler and cabin attendants all come in to say hi, and then go off exploring the ship (even if you remember the ship, it's always like the first time). But if we are heading home the day the cruise ends, then we will always get the packing service again! What a treat.

-

All the other recommendations are spot on (even some of the more humorous ones).

-

Someone else mentioned the shoe cleaning and shoe shine service and last minute pressing. We do these quite often, and miss it when we get home. The comment about the snacks (cracked crab, popcorn etc.) was also one we finally started using a couple cruises back. It's strange how a craving for lays potato chips on the far side of the world can be satisfied by a gentleman from India in a tuxedo.

-

Jeff

[shuguley]

Wanted to share my most memorable butler story.

 

I am an avid photographer and usually carry at least two cameras on every cruise. One camera is my main equipment with several lens and then I also take a pocket “point and shoot” for times when the big one isn’t appropriate or practical.

 

After boarding the Mariner, I took my equipment out of the travel bags and spread it all about our suite to rearrange everything for the upcoming shore excursions that would follow. While the equipment was out, our butler came in the suite to introduce himself. He looked at all the equipment and commented on each piece.

 

Later in the cruise my wife and I were about to depart the ship for our shore excursion at a port in South America. Just before we were about to clear the checkout point, our butler came by and saw me carrying my camera bag. He asked if I had my big camera and I replied that I did. He then promptly said, “Oh no. Please let me take your camera back to your suite and get the other one. It is not safe in this port for you to be walking around with a nice camera. I would worry all day about you.”

 

I gave my bag to our butler and he quickly returned with my pocket “point and shoot”. After entering the town I realize that Lincoln (our butler) had been correct. There were mobs of small children and youngsters everywhere. I truly appreciated the advice he had given and the concern he had shown.

 

So not only are butlers there to assist with food, drinks, laundry and the like, they also can provide important port information and help passengers with personal safety.

[K12Guy]

Butt, of course, a butler is needed. I don't know how the commoners make it through a cruise having to fend for themselves. Imagine, having to change your toilet paper yourself. Not to mention having to prepare tea or coffee. I can't even imagine having to awaken and then going to a restaurant for early morning food and libations. Did I mention libations? I like the idea of having garnishment brought to the stateroom, however.

 

Now I'm not sure about the unpacking part of it all. There might be some things in our luggage (gags added by TSA, I will assume) that our butler doesn't need to know about. I won't mention the need for extra batteries and such. Although I am fairly certain the butler could come up with something on short notice.

 

Yes, several cruises ago (notice the subtle mention of cruise snobbishness) my Boss and I enjoyed a stateroom with a butler. Well, he didn't stay with us in the stateroom. Poor choice of words there. Anyway, we had a butler assigned. He really wasn't very good and we didn't see much of him (Norwegian Pearl in an Owner's Suite), which I think was good. Our stateroom attendant and the concierge made up for the butler, however.

 

Unfortunately we are so poor we can't afford to pay attention, so the Sept 20th cruise on the Voyager will be in an "E" class suite. No butler. But my wife has me, so she really doesn't need a butler. (I like to think that. Makes me feel good to say. All she does is nod her head and laugh)

 

So, go forward, young man. Use the damn butler if you must!

 

After all that's what (s)he is being paid for. I guess.

 

Smooth waves.....

[Atriumgirl]

Your butler could arrange a drinks party and you could invite us! We are on the same cruise in the butler deprived staterooms......

 

Great idea, Carol. Do you think we might get an invite too?

We've only once had a suite with a butler and we too didn't know what to do with him. We are pretty low maintence and couldn't think of anything we wanted him to do beyond that which the normal steward does. I did love the afternoon giant prawns, though, in spite of DH's constant complaints about too much food - that meant I got to eat them all!

[Suite Travels]

A Butler is worth their weight in gold when you need them. We have had butlers on both Regent and Crystal and on both lines they were excellent. Butlers anticipate your needs without even asking such as your bottle of Champagne is empty or almost empty or your bottle of liquor is half empty and viola it has all been replaced.

 

Want to eat dinner in the privacy of your suite or host a small cocktail party...consider it done. Our Regent butler on the Voyager set us up for a full Indian dinner in our suite which was really the highlight of our cruise the best food we had on board.

 

We have never used the butler to pack or unpack for us but one time on Crystal when my partner became ill and we had a lot of stuff to pack and I could not pack him up myself so I called our sweet butler and we have known him for fifteen years. Our butler saved the day with no worries and checked to find a reputable doctor in HKG where we needed to go and took care of the private car that was to meet us to send us there when we disembarked and collected all our luggage and pushed my partner in a wheel chair through customs which priority was given to us to clear. No standing at the front desk. All of this was taken care of by the butler.

 

The butler can have some pull for those staying in the upper suites getting dining reservations in speciality restaurants. This is done on Regent and Crystal but not always guaranteed. We understand and are flexible.

 

I make coffee at home and do laundry but on a cruise I have yet to know what that room of horrors looks like. I have heard too many horror stories of the laundry room. We send everything out when on vacation I have to deal,with it when we get home.

 

Remember, people who choose suites on Rgent and Crystal spend a lot of money for these extra services just like you would on the club floor of a Four Seasons or Ritz Carlton you do get extra benefits that can make your vacation a bit more special. JMHO

[Suite Travels]

Let's say that your butler weighs 100 pounds - and that's a very low number - that's Petite Randy Moss territory.

 

That's 1600 ounces of butler.

 

Currently, gold is about 1130 per ounce.

 

So, now ask yourself, is my petite butler worth 1.8 million dollars?

 

Oh for goodness sake....it is an old saying. Really?

[Zqueeze1]

Great idea, Carol. Do you think we might get an invite too?

We've only once had a suite with a butler and we too didn't know what to do with him. We are pretty low maintence and couldn't think of anything we wanted him to do beyond that which the normal steward does. I did love the afternoon giant prawns, though, in spite of DH's constant complaints about too much food - that meant I got to eat them all!

 

OK. If you want to cross over to the Butler world, then I highly recommend finding me at the Observation Lounge right after the emergency drill. I will be at the bar with The Boss or by myself, just ask for Zqueeze or Roberto. We can then discuss having a little get together for drinks.

 

Z and TB

[Suite Travels]

You agree, then, that 1.8 million is too much! Of course, in your hypothetical, you did not indicate the duration of the cruise for which a butler would be worth their weight in gold. It might be perfectly reasonable for a 60,000* day world cruise in a named suite.

 

For an average 14 day cruise, though, I think a petite butler may be worth their weight in lobster, or any crustacean for that matter, which they may well bring to you each afternoon. Maybe someone else can volunteer to do the math on that.

 

Maybe it would have helped if I had added one of these :D above.

 

======

* And some people would still be upset about the ports not included.

 

You are so laughable. Yawn

[SuzCruise]

This thread is hilarious! And very timely. DH and I were just discussing our first butler on our first RSSC cruise, many years ago. We were in a top tier suite. He was Dr. No. Whatever the request, the answer was no. No dinner served in the room, no help with pressing clothing, no to absolutely everything. We were just discussing that we should have made outlandish requests, since he wasn't going to do any of them anyway. Have a dolphin brought aboard and placed in the pool so we could have a photo op with it, greet us each afternoon with freshly squeezed grape juice, squeezed grape by grape and by hand. But I think the whoopee cushion for the captains chair wins the game!

[irishwitchy]

So Z we all waiting to hear what you made the butler do for you. I really like the dolphin in the pool request.

[Zqueeze1]

Well, there wasn't anything over the top nor overly demanding since I'm an overall a nice guy. Although he really hit it out of the ball park when I asked for a setup for some Brit friends. I'll try to post a picture of it later on today. One interesting point was that our butler did not think he could book us an additional night in Prime 7, yet our friends were able to get their butler to book it for us all.

 

I was pleased to find my Hendrick's and a giant bottle of Grey Goose in place of Tito's Vodka. We enjoyed it almost daily at 5PM with some excellent appetizers.

 

Overall, I could do without the butler since we never spent much time in the suite nor ask for much assistance.

 

Z and TB