Dress code and offending people

[fantasy51]

We don't have formal wear. However, we will still be following the dress code which allows us to still eat at the buffet on formal nights, and will be appropriately dressed for those evenings that are not considered formal. We are not slobs; we just don't own long gowns or tuxedos. If someone looks askance at us on formal nights when we will restrict ourselves to the appropriate areas of the ship only, then so be it. However, we will not be breaking the rules if we stay where we're supposed to be and not infringe on the formal areas of the ship. We are nice people who just want to enjoy ourselves but respect rules.

 

Hi Sheltieluv. You have the right attitude.

 

However, can I suggest that you keep your eyes out for a bargain tux or black suit in a charity shop? If you are near outlet centres, you may be able to find a long skirt or a sparkly top at a low price so that you don't mind having them just to wear a couple of times. As a lady, all you need is nice black trousers and a fancy top. It's more difficult for the man.

 

If you can't find anything, then follow your plan above and I know you'll enjoy yourselves - because you sound as though your attitude is right. If you can find something cheaply, it means you don't have to restrict yourselves.

[Sheltieluv]

Yes, it's definitely more problematic for my husband as far as dress clothes. We usually cruise on Regent, where the dress code specifies no denim after 6 pm and men need to wear a collared shirt, slacks, and sport coat. Tie is optional but my husband wore one several nights. I have several nice "glitzy" tops and wear my black dress pants. I just don't own any long gowns. I feel we will be comfortable as long as we stick with what we have, although if I can find a suit for my dh at a reasonable price I'd consider it if it would allow us to enjoy all areas of the ship on formal nights.

[navybankerteacher]

We don't have formal wear. However, we will still be following the dress code which allows us to still eat at the buffet on formal nights, and will be appropriately dressed for those evenings that are not considered formal. We are not slobs; we just don't own long gowns or tuxedos. If someone looks askance at us on formal nights when we will restrict ourselves to the appropriate areas of the ship only, then so be it. However, we will not be breaking the rules if we stay where we're supposed to be and not infringe on the formal areas of the ship. We are nice people who just want to enjoy ourselves but respect rules.

 

Cunard makes it clear that, for men, a dinner jacket or a dark suit is fully appropriate for a formal night. Too many of those who protest the tradition seem to focus on the dinner jacket as a requirement.

[MarkBearSF]

If you are dead set against wearing formal wear, you certainly have the right attitude and I think you'll have a great time.

 

Let me suggest a useful middle road. I believe that Cunard MD's and staff aren't so rude to measure hemlines or check for stripes on pant legs. A few years ago, we went on a short cruise with one friend who's an artist and simply will never be seen in a tux unless he's performing in some artistic project. However, he DID find a black designer jacket that had an embossed skull on the back. It may have even been sleeveless, but he wore a collared black shirt. Black trousers, silver jewelry. I know his collar was closed and he may have had a silver bolo or brooch at his neck. Not to suggest this outfit for you!! ...but to say that there's a certain acceptance for personal style as long as there's a basic effort for "dressing up" and respect for the room.

 

Personally, we have a panoply of accessories and both black (tux) and white dinner jackets BUT... (here's the suggestion) one piece of apparel I use again and again is a navy blazer. Especially the one I bought years ago from TravelSmith. It's especially nice because:

- it's lightweight, resists wrinkles, and is cool

- it has numerous zippered security pockets. These are especially handy when traveling, if one has pre-converted some cash for arrival, or is especially concerned about travel documents.

Of course, a navy blazer is the perfect informal night jacket, but if you pair it with some DARK grey flannel pants (again, a classic and resists wrinkles), a white shirt and dark tie, any man will be OK on formal night.

 

For the women, if she's "dressed up" with some jewelry/accessories, she'll be fine. A dressy dress or suit and stylish shoes (heels best) or artsy slippers will get you in the door.

 

Men - jacket always, tie on formal. Dark is best.

Women - dressy dress/suit.

Both - no casual (or obvious) denim, casual t-shirts, shorts, sneakers, visible navel rings (or navels)....

 

Of course, some fellow cruisers may not approve, but you've certainly shown you're too smart or busy to concern yourselves with them.

 

Finally, in most cases I know, men who object most to wearing ties have been stuck with collars that are too tight or too stiff and or ties that are too tight. Unlike with open-collared shirts, it's important that the neck be large enough. (I also usually still leave the top button unbuttoned, and keep my tie slid to cover it, but not snugly. Once in the dining room door, the tie can be progressively loosened through the evening) ...also - to the OP - seeing your earlier posts, please realize this last item is primarily for anyone else who may be reading this thread.

 

RESPECT If you give it, you've got it, and you'll be fine.

 

In any event, I'm certain you'll have a great time on your trip!

Edited September 7, 2015 by MarkBearSF

[Theodorable]

If you are dead set against wearing formal wear, you certainly have the right attitude and I think you'll have a great time.

 

Personally, we have a panoply of accessories and both black (tux) and white dinner jackets BUT... (here's the suggestion) one piece of apparel I use again and again is a navy blazer. Especially the one I bought years ago from TravelSmith. It's especially nice because:

- it's lightweight, resists wrinkles, and is cool

- it has numerous zippered security pockets. These are especially handy when traveling, if one has pre-converted some cash for arrival, or is especially concerned about travel documents.

Of course, a navy blazer is the perfect informal night jacket, but if you pair it with some DARK grey flannel pants (again, a classic and resists wrinkles), a white shirt and dark tie, any man will be OK on formal night.

 

In any event, I'm certain you'll have a great time on your trip!

 

This is exactly what my parents friend wore....the blazer with dark trousers for formal night and the blazer with light trousers for the other nights. He said that he did not feel out of place at all.

Edited September 8, 2015 by Theodorable

[alc13]

...there's a certain acceptance for personal style as long as there's a basic effort for "dressing up" and respect for the room.

 

Exactly. And that's what I take from this thread. Make some effort and all will be fine.

 

The OP didn't seem inclined to compromise; I think that's what some of the more critical posts were addressing.

[navybankerteacher]

Exactly. And that's what I take from this thread. Make some effort and all will be fine.

 

The OP didn't seem inclined to compromise; I think that's what some of the more critical posts were addressing.

 

I believe you have identified what generated many of the posts: OP seemed far more committed to her dress code than Cunard is to theirs.

[EGG]

I think OP set the attitude of the thread with the statement that she would rather stick needles in her eyes than dress formally. She should not be surprised with many of the answers she received.

 

I like Cunard for the duplicate bridge game, lessons and lectures. I am willing to "play dress up" in the evening in order to participate in Cunard's daytime activities. It is really not that bad or that hard to follow the dress code. On the less expensive mainstream cruise lines, both my husband and I dress nicely for dinner. So we bump it up a tad for Cunard.

 

If OP does not want to give up California casual at night, she now has the answer to her question and knows the alternative dining options.

 

As others have stated, woman can get away with a lot less than an evening gown. I have taken 2 Cunard cruises with a long black skirt and some nice sparkly tops. Men can wear a black suit with a button down shirt. Add a tie for a few hours during formal dinner. From OP's description of her husband's job, he has this in his closet.

 

Calm down, lose the attitude, it is what it is. If you take the cruise, be prepared that if you decide not to at least skim by on the bottom of the dress code, you will miss out on dinner in the dining room and evening entertainment, but you won't starve.

[Solent Richard]

Some how David ,I don't think that dress would suit you !...... That is of course, unless you are telling us something we don't know :D:D

 

OMG Bell Boy. I spurted my morning coffee over my keyboard at that.

 

Love your humour.

[Solent Richard]

If I was the OP, after reading all the comments on this thread.....I would have run for the hills. I find it very sad that if someone wants to take a liner (not a cruise ship) across the Atlantic rather than flying, they are going to come across such a bunch of pompous people! The OP just wants to enjoy their journey (not vacation) without offending people! Give them a break....anyone can go on any ship they want...if they have the cash. As the poster I quoted said..."Cunard will be as happy to take your money as they are to take mine".

 

I am sure they are not going to walk around the ship in looking like slobs.....they just don't want to be dressed to the nines....and no matter what all the die hards say....there is no way 100% of people on every crossing are wearing tuxes and formal gowns!

 

Just my 2 cents!

 

Hi Theodorable.

 

Airbrushing the OP's statements is not an option, neither is an attempt to re-write the rules.

 

If the OP wants to sail across the Atlantic on a liner then the OP should obey the liner's rules. They are, after all, there for our mutual benefit, comfort and, in Cunard's case, passengers pleasure.

 

Even travelling 'cattle' class on most airlines have rules and a degree of decorum.

 

Of course there are alternatives to crossing with Cunard. I'm sure the internet would throw up a suitable 'banana' boat where the indicative style of the OP's dress will go entirely un-noticed.

 

Just my 2 pence.

[luckymal]

And it is a bit of a shame as my parents live in Scotland and I visit them every year. My husband won't contemplate a Cunard trip because of what we have been reading regarding dress codes. That being the case, we come home via a transatlantic on other lines.

 

To return to the OPs question.....they should be able to take a liner across the Atlantic if they want without feeling brow beaten to death by the dress code brigade. You must admit that you can see the way things are going to be in the future...just look at the Holland America site and the new dress code! Cunard will welcome anyone on their ship. I am so glad that such a very small percentage of cruisers actually read Cruise Critic....otherwise the ships would be empty! Please also don't try to say I don't know what I am talking about.....there was a thread on here not so long ago from a lady complaining bitterly that the dress code wasn't being followed to the nth degree on her European trip.

 

I am curious, would your husband be American? if so it would answer a few questions.:confused:

[GUT2407]

Hi Theodorable.

 

Airbrushing the OP's statements is not an option, neither is an attempt to re-write the rules.

 

If the OP wants to sail across the Atlantic on a liner then the OP should obey the liner's rules. They are, after all, there for our mutual benefit, comfort and, in Cunard's case, passengers pleasure.

 

Even travelling 'cattle' class on most airlines have rules and a degree of decorum.

 

Of course there are alternatives to crossing with Cunard. I'm sure the internet would throw up a suitable 'banana' boat where the indicative style of the OP's dress will go entirely un-noticed.

 

Just my 2 pence.

 

 

Where's that like button.

 

There's also the option of staying out of the areas that require "stricter formal wear".

[babs135]

Just thought I'd add my own thoughts (because I can :))

 

It is definitely much easier for a lady to 'dress up' without a lot of panic/worry/expense as to whether it is right or not. For a man it should be equally reasonable unless he doesn't own any suits at all.

 

A dark suit, perhaps a slightly fancier shirt than normal and a snazzy bowtie and there you are. Looking good I would say. I've even seen men wearing cummerbunds which can add a certain air of distinction to an outfit.

[mil5156]

I must admit that I'm a little worried about the dress code. We've sailed on Holland America many times but this is our first Cunard cruise. I don't want to pack half my wardrobe, travelling from Australia and visiting other places as well as this cruise may cause problems with weight allowance as we try to restrict our luggage to one large suitcase each rather than cart multiple ones in and out of hotels and airports. Can someone give me an idea 1-10 of how stiff it really is? Thanks in advance.

 

 

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[edwardh1]

the basic question in all this I think , is:

what is the minimum acceptable wear on formal and informal nights?

 

Is it:

 

Formal nights: dark suit (with tie of course)? or better (tux)

 

Informal nights: some type of coat /jacket/ blazer

but with or without tie?

and are just knit shirts with long pants OK (no jacket)?

are knee length bermuda shorts OK?

any color restrictions? are those bright yellow golf jackets ok? how about bright green?

Edited September 8, 2015 by edwardh1

[balf]

the basic question in all this I think , is:

what is the minimum acceptable wear on formal and informal nights?

 

Is it:

 

Formal nights: dark suit (with tie of course)? or better (tux)

 

Informal nights: some type of coat /jacket/ blazer

but with or without tie?

and are just knit shirts with long pants OK (no jacket)?

are knee length bermuda shorts OK?

any color restrictions? are those bright yellow golf jackets ok? how about bright green?

 

 

Formal dark suit or tux and tie.

Shirt with no jacket, no

Shorts, no

And deviation from black is regarded as a bit down market, though I have seen a guy in a green tux. And he had no problem getting in the dining room.

 

It's all quite simple really, though this subject keeps coming up so many still seem confused.

 

David.

 

David.

[mariposa777]

I must admit that I'm a little worried about the dress code. We've sailed on Holland America many times but this is our first Cunard cruise. I don't want to pack half my wardrobe, travelling from Australia and visiting other places as well as this cruise may cause problems with weight allowance as we try to restrict our luggage to one large suitcase each rather than cart multiple ones in and out of hotels and airports. Can someone give me an idea 1-10 of how stiff it really is? Thanks in advance.

 

 

 

We did 7 weeks in Europe/uk/US from Australia last year (may-june) including a TA with a 25 inch case plus carryon each. I had two formal dresses plus a couple suitable for informal nights and just styled them a bit differently when repeating. The Mr wore a dark suit for formal - he seriously considered a dinner jacket/tux but just has no need for one here.

 

There were four formal nights.

[mil5156]

Wow that's impressive! I always struggle with packing [emoji12]

 

 

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[jimmybean]

I must admit that I'm a little worried about the dress code. We've sailed on Holland America many times but this is our first Cunard cruise. I don't want to pack half my wardrobe, travelling from Australia and visiting other places as well as this cruise may cause problems with weight allowance as we try to restrict our luggage to one large suitcase each rather than cart multiple ones in and out of hotels and airports. Can someone give me an idea 1-10 of how stiff it really is? Thanks in advance.

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If you are a lady, you could bring one pair of black silk (or similarly appearing) trousers to wear with different (more fancy-looking or formal appearing) tops. Many ladies do just this. When it is a long voyage (such as a World Cruise segment) the same outfits are typically worn more than one time.

 

If you are a gentleman, you could bring one dark suit and several ties. Or, a tux and a sports jacket. Or, a dark suit and a sports jacket. Shirts can be sent to the cleaner or washed, for free, in the laundry onboard, so you don't have to bring many different shirts.

 

DH and I, as well as many many other Cunard passengers, also have to deal with limited suitcase space and long distance travel. You are not in a unique position. I admit it takes advance planning. Maybe, you bring a few less casual clothes--clothes that can be washed and dried easily as you travel. But, really it isn't that difficult to pack what is needed.

 

DH and I tried HAL once and much prefer Cunard. Once you sail, you might easily feel the same way. Have a wonderful voyage!

[mariposa777]

Wow that's impressive! I always struggle with packing [emoji12]

 

 

 

 

For the non-cruise part the key is to dress in layers - and sink washing pretty much every night.

 

 

My day wear on the ship was the same as I wore for walking around in London or New York. Travelling in cool/moderate weather helps.

 

Nice to be able to pull out the little cocktail dress for dinner on the eiffel tower too !

[JuniorCruisers]

I must admit that I'm a little worried about the dress code. We've sailed on Holland America many times but this is our first Cunard cruise. I don't want to pack half my wardrobe, travelling from Australia and visiting other places as well as this cruise may cause problems with weight allowance as we try to restrict our luggage to one large suitcase each rather than cart multiple ones in and out of hotels and airports. Can someone give me an idea 1-10 of how stiff it really is?

 

Mil, the dress code is nothing to worry about. We sailed two weeks on QV in July and flew to Rome from Brisbane - fiancé and I also only had one large suitcase each which, while both full, only weighed 20kg a piece with 10kg of allowance to spare. What airline are you flying with? As far as I know everything now from Australia to Europe is 30kg on the major carries. My fiancé wore dresses nearly every day and mixed and matched some other items... easily fit.

[mil5156]

Thanks for sharing your information. Flights are no problem, we have 30kg allowance but it's only 20kg on the ship according to the information I have read.

 

 

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[JuniorCruisers]

Thanks for sharing your information. Flights are no problem, we have 30kg allowance but it's only 20kg on the ship according to the information I have read.

 

Ah, now I see your concern... but don't worry! :) A 30kg bag would not be an issue, they are not weighed. 40-50kg on the other hand... ;)

[mil5156]

Not weighed? That makes me feel a little better, not that I expect to be taking 30kg but 20 isn't a lot is it. Many thanks. Pam

 

 

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[MarkBearSF]

are knee length bermuda shorts OK?

 

Slight exception. Bermuda shorts are acceptable for informal nights on Bermuda cruises! (With appropriate socks and footwear, of course.)

 

Does Cunard still do a Bermuda Jazz Festival cruise?

 

(I recall, the QE2 was on that itinerary when Princess Diana died. We had recently been aboard her and had heard stories from the crew of their affection for her - including recounting her subversive visit to the crew bar - so somehow the itinerary is linked in my memories.)

Edited September 9, 2015 by MarkBearSF