Carnival Magic/we upgraded, they didn't

[crusing48/51]

So, here is our dilemma. We are cruising with another couple on the Magic in October. They are on a tight budget, but have their first ever balcony. DH and I originally had a balcony as well, but I surprised him and upgraded us to a suite.

 

Do we tell the other couple before we go, or at the port? We will have priority boarding, but they won't. Do we wait in line at check in with them, or go to priority check in, and meet up with them on the ship?

 

We don't want to hurt their feelings, but we would like to use our perks that come with the suite. Any suggestions?

 

As a side note, the man going with us recently broke his ankle, and will be in a cast, or boot, for the whole trip. He will obviously be a bit slower than normal, and we don't want to make him feel like he's holding us up, but he probably will to some extent.

 

I have suggested that they may possibly want to cancel and rebook for another time when he will be more mobile, but they both say they really want to go and will not cancel. They are booked past guest, so no penalty if they did cancel and rebook.

 

I guess DH and I sound somewhat selfish, but we want to enjoy our cruise and not feel like we are having to entertain the other couple, and wait for them all the time.

 

What would you do in this situation?

[dlbutler5]

You shouldn't have booked with another couple if you weren't ready to cruise as they do.

[drerickson77]

So, here is our dilemma. We are cruising with another couple on the Magic in October. They are on a tight budget, but have their first ever balcony. DH and I originally had a balcony as well, but I surprised him and upgraded us to a suite.

 

Do we tell the other couple before we go, or at the port? We will have priority boarding, but they won't. Do we wait in line at check in with them, or go to priority check in, and meet up with them on the ship?

 

We don't want to hurt their feelings, but we would like to use our perks that come with the suite. Any suggestions?

 

As a side note, the man going with us recently broke his ankle, and will be in a cast, or boot, for the whole trip. He will obviously be a bit slower than normal, and we don't want to make him feel like he's holding us up, but he probably will to some extent.

 

I have suggested that they may possibly want to cancel and rebook for another time when he will be more mobile, but they both say they really want to go and will not cancel. They are booked past guest, so no penalty if they did cancel and rebook.

 

I guess DH and I sound somewhat selfish, but we want to enjoy our cruise and not feel like we are having to entertain the other couple, and wait for them all the time.

 

What would you do in this situation?

 

Have you considered the possibility that they may not want to hang out with you?

[pusywillow]

Just do your own thing. You can meet up at dinner every night and/or at shows etc. No need to be together 24/7.

[Cruisegiggler]

We have a somewhat similar situation for our April 2017 cruise. We have booked a suite for 3 adults and are now being joined by two other groups, one in a suite(3), the other in OV(2). The cruise sounded so fun, everyone is coming along!

We have shared with everyone our plans but made it clear everyone is on their own. I am sure there will be plenty of opportunities to hang out! Five of us will be on the same flight, as there is only one non stop flight into Orlando the day before we sail away.

[Schoifmom]

Communicate with them. They'll probably be happy for you in your upgrade. Go ahead and board with Priority. They won't be far behind if they board with the Special Needs group (which is either right before or right after FTTF, depending on the port).

 

When you travel with another couple, everyone needs to be a little flexible. Talk about expectations BEFORE you get on the ship!

[cruiseonthebrain]

You shouldn't have booked with another couple if you weren't ready to cruise as they do.

 

I hate to sound harsh, but I completely agree with this.

 

Choosing to get onboard earlier over waiting for your friends is up to the OP I guess. But urging the other couple to cancel just because the OP doesn't want to be held back by the friend's injury is diabolical. Just be honest, admit you are a complete a$@hat, and let them enjoy their cruise the way they want to.

[kah1829]

I would definitely tell them now, also have a friendly discussion that you guys can each do what you want during the day and maybe just meet up for dinner. I think addressing it before the cruise is the best way to go.

 

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[StolidCruiser]

You booked with the other couple because you're friends. Discuss the new situation (both with you and with them) and how you will be able to still enjoy yourselves together and apart.

 

As much as you are agonizing over how your upgrade (and the perks that are included) may affect your friends, your friends are probably agonizing equally how the broken ankle will slow everyone down.

 

I'm hoping you went into a jointly planned vacation without the expectation that either party would be expected to entertain the other at all times. If you didn't, now is the time to discuss it with your friends. It would only be considered selfish if you didn't discuss it. It would have been more prudent to discuss it before you upgraded to soften any possible hard feelings of now being in a different category as you started out with your friends.

 

Friends will understand your concerns. As I surmised, they are likely as concerned as you are with the situation.

Edited September 13, 2016 by StolidCruiser

[Wheatie59]

What were the circumstances that led you to be on the trip together?

 

If you had the trip booked, they heard about it, and said "that sounds like fun, we'll see you on the ship", then I wouldn't be too worried about staying with them. OTOH, if they are someone you've persuaded to give cruising a try and now you're realizing they may not be able to keep up, then you have may have to adjust your plans. Taking someone along on your trip is different than being in the same place at the same time.

 

We went with a group back in January. We knew some of them were high status, one couple had a suite, and others had FTTF and they would be on the ship first. No big deal. And we were all doing our own things. We sat together at dinner and often went somewhere in the evening in small groups. During the day we did what we wanted. Sometimes we ran into others, sometimes dinner was the first time we saw folks all day. The couple who had been cursing the most had a spot they always sat at for breakfast, so we knew where to catch them.

 

OTOH if you've set expectations that you're going on vacation as a group of four, then you may just have to hold back. If they are expecting to be with you most of the time, or are expecting you to play tour guide, then you might have to stick to that. If you've talked them into coming along and now you're realizing you may have made a mistake, then, well "made" is the keyword. Now you're going to have to participate in the situation you've created.

 

If you really do not want to hang with them, and frankly it does seem that way from what you wrote, then best to speak up now.

[Florings]

Discuss this with them now, before you go - explaining the perks of a suite including boarding earlier. I am sure they will be happy that you have the opportunity to enjoy a suite. If you wait until you're at the port, it seems like you are trying to hide something and they might be offended or hurt.

 

We always tell the people that we cruise with - we are early risers and like to do this and this and this....you can join or go enjoy your own interests and we can meet up for dinner.

 

Usually, we all separate and meet for dinner - which is perfect!

Edited September 13, 2016 by Florings

[Drazil65]

Anytime we travel with other people (relatives or friends) we let them know that we will meet them on board at a certain time that day and board when we want (typically have FTTF and/or suite for priority boarding). We make the time to meet right after muster.

 

We also decide ahead of time if we will all eat dinner each day (or most days) together or just maybe elegant night. Most of the time we all eat together and share our days etc. Then we all go off and do whatever (clubs, casino etc.) and those that want to go together can just go.

 

We also let everyone in our group what we are doing in port, this way if they want to book same excursion they can. We leave it up to each family traveling. On sea days we all meet for breakfast and everyone kind of decides how they want to spend our day.

 

The idea of cruising for us is no pressure and relaxing, we are not hurt if no one wants to do what we are doing and we do not expect people to be hurt if we choose different things. Either way we will enjoy our cruise.

[Like81]

Suggest to the injured one that he look into getting a knee scooter for the trip. Then you will be the one holding him up as he zooms along the decks leaving you behind! No seriously they are great for ankle injuries, my girlfriend had one for 3 months recently. Suggesting they need to re-book is kind of jerky I'd say. My girl had a total ankle reconstruction this year and between the boot and cast she was in them for over 3 months, and we did everything we normally do.

As others have said, you clearly don't sound like you WANT to hang out with them so I'd discuss that prior to going. The idea that you'd wait to mention it until you are at the port is also pretty jerky, but hey.....if the shoe fits.....

[me-shel]

If you wait until you're at the port, it seems like you are trying to hide something and they might be offended or hurt.

 

Totally agree with this. If my travel mates told me ahead of time, "Oh my gosh, we couldn't resist upgrading to a suite! We're so excited!!" then I'd be happy for them regardless of how the rest of the logistics work out. If they didn't mention anything until we were at port it would be really awkward. Why was it a big secret?

 

To me, choosing to travel with friends isn't much different than choosing to travel with our kids, especially when they were younger - we just accept going into it that there may be comprises we wouldn't have to make if we'd gone alone. (And THAT is why we periodically ditch the kids and travel without them!!;)) The beauty of being with adult friends (or older kids) is it's much easier to separate and 'do our own thing' when we really want to.

[ponza17]

If it bothers you that much,Why don't you cancel and go at another time like you wanted them to do!

[katiel53]

If it bothers you that much,Why don't you cancel and go at another time like you wanted them to do!

 

My thoughts exactly! I guess I also don't understand the perks you want to take advantage of when booking a suite. Other than priority embarkation and debarkation, there's no other perk. I realize the cabin is larger, but what would that have to do with the other couple?

 

It seems as though you are angry that a broken ankle is going to ruin your vacation. How would you feel if this injury were yours? I think the other couple would be better off if you changed your cruise. They will have enough to worry about without having to worry about your attitude.

 

I'm sorry if I am wrong in my thinking of you, but I am basing it on what I read in your post.

[sassy~one]

I have an idea! You cancel your cruise, so you do not have to travel with someone 'slower' then you or someone in the 'cheep seats'

 

Then never book another cruise with anyone, because those folks deserve better then You!

[crusing48/51]

Thank you all for your replies. I guess I made it sound like we're jerks. I didn't mean to, but it does sound that way. We booked the cruise over a year ago. There was no broken ankle, and no suite upgrade then. We didn't talk them into it, they have cruised before. We decided together to take this cruise.

 

If we were in the same situation, we would have cancelled. I have had to cancel a cruise before, due to an unexpected surgery. There wasn't enough time to recover before the sail date, so it was rescheduled.

 

We have been friends with these people for a very long time, so will talk to them, explain about the suite(before we get to the port), and go along at our friends pace.

 

After all, life happens, and we have to go with it!

[RecoveryDude]

I would call them and say "Guess what? we upgraded to a suite!" and then tell them check in might be a little quicker for you. Make a plan to relax and unpack and meet up on Lido after Muster.

 

Then I agree that perhaps you guys just share plans --- so it's like a "separate-but-together" vacation. If you both want to do the same thing, fine. Otherwise, each couple does what they want and just meet up for dinner (or lunch).

 

It should be fine. Have fun!

[Quagmire789]

I cruised with friends and we set expectations up front that no one is required to do what the other is doing. I would definitely tell them about the upgrade and if you want to get on priority, maybe offer to take a bag of theirs with you so you're helping them out with the injury and getting on sooner. They can meet later to get it.

 

 

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[me-shel]

Thank you all for your replies. I guess I made it sound like we're jerks. I didn't mean to, but it does sound that way.

 

For what it's worth, the fact that you were worried about hurting their feelings in the first place gave me the impression that you weren't jerks at all - just trying to figure out the best way to deal with some unexpected changes and have the best experience for everyone. Especially after a year of looking forward to this trip! To be honest, I've had "buyer's remorse" before after inviting extra people to travel with us, then worrying that it would've been easier if we'd just gone on our own. Without fail it's turned out just fine, and I was stressing over nothing.

 

Enjoy your cruise!!

[dacsmom]

You might want to have your friends call special needs department for help getting on the ship. Several years ago friends called and Carnival was wonderful with wheelchair assistance and getting them on the ship quickly so they did not have to hobble around and wait in line with crutches.

Edited September 13, 2016 by dacsmom

[elainmir]

I'd just tell them ahead of time that you wanted to surprise your spouse so you secretly upgraded to a suite. Explain that you don't want to ruin the surprise but that you will board before they do as a perk for taking a suite. No doubt they'll be happy for you.

 

Also let them know that you guys can meet up for dinner or some other meal and that they don't have to try to entertain you or keep up with you and that you will do the same. Talking can make things so simple!

[MissCruiseAddict]

Last year, on the Breeze, I cruised with my brother, parents, two aunts and uncles. In total there was 8 of us. My mom and I shared an interior cabin, as did my brother and dad. My one aunt and uncle had an Oceanview and the other aunt and uncle did balcony. No issues whatsoever. As for boarding the ship, my brother parents and I, got to town the day prior as we drove. The other four flew in the day of the cruise so we did not get on the ship at the same time. Again no issues whatsoever. We waited for them onboard before grabbing lunch on the lido. On sea days we all kind of did our own thing but met up for dinner. i would be at trivia, my dad and brother in the casino, and everyone else camped out reading. No issues. On all but one of the islands we did excursions together. The one we didn't was Nassau. My parents and one set of aunt and uncle set off to the Queens Staircase. The other aunt and uncle took a cab to some resort and my brother and I stayed on board. No big deal.

 

Cruising together doesn't mean you have to spend every millisecond with everyone.

 

Just FYI, in case you didn't know, make sure you call and link your booking to theirs so you can get assigned the same table at dinner.

[ferfoodle]

Suites have bigger balconies - I would invite them to share it with you for sail away and/or a pre-dinner drink a couple of times. This way they get to share in your upgrade.

 

Your room will also be ready when you board - perhaps offer to meet them when they board (if it is still going to be awhile before their room is ready) to take his carry on to your room so he can move around easier.