One piece of advice for a new solo cruiser?

[elkay1955]

Navybankerteacher - WOW to you too - your aggressive reply will be offensive to Slidergirl I suspect and it is to me too. We have a different "take" on cruising alone. Lorraine has asked about solo cruising - we are simply giving her a different perspective. If she finds the large table dining experience unpleasant, she'll know it's not just her and that its OK to look for an alternative, whether it's the buffet with a kindle for company or plate of goodies in a quiet spot by the pool or whatever. Not everyone enjoys being "grilled" by fellow diners - I certainly didn't.

 

As Jocap says ship's are definitely friendlier than hotels - it's a whole different vibe - people just seem to be more open to chatting.

 

I agree with Jocap too that your very first sailaway is a magic never-to-be-forgotten moment - if there's a sailaway party up on e.g. the pool deck with live music, it's a great spot to be as the inches between the boat and the dock becomes feet then yards. Don't feel obliged to buy the "cocktails with souvenir (plastic) glasses though! You can have just as much fun just watching and listening to the music without a drink in your hand. I still love each sailaway but I will always remember with goosebumps that magic moment when we set sail on our first cruise (in fact I'm getting them now as I type this ;) )

 

I had a thought or two after I posted yesterday. You asked, Lorraine, about the formal nights. I love the vibe of formal nights, even as a solo cruiser. When my husband was alive I took a long sleeveless gown with a little frilly, gauze net jackety thing and we would go dancing after dinner and the show. Now I am solo, I still dress up but not quite in the same way. I take a pair of dressy, wide-leg black pants and a black camisole and team them with a floaty cerise shirt on formal nights. I dress that up with one or two different silk scarves and on my Greek cruise bought a long chain & velvet necklace for a bling alternative. You don't need to feel you have to take multiple formal outfits for each of the formal nights. No-one will give you a second glance if, by some miracle, you run into people who saw you in the same outfit several days ago!! I eat by choice in the buffet every night (even formal nights), with my tablet handy for reading if the people-watching isn't great. Then on formal night I mingle with the other cruisers as I while away some time before or after a show in the theatre just watching the couples having their formal photos taken. I will just lean on the rail in the atrium, often a deck or two higher up, looking down. I find the bars fill up quickly on formal nights and all the groups laughing and drinking together are intimidating for me. But just leaning on the balustrade, maybe chatting to people-watchers beside me, is really enjoyable for me. The people-watching on formal nights is great - some people go to huge expense but most just dress nicely and look lovely.

 

I very rarely miss a show in the theatre and love that I can go to a show or movie on holiday without worrying about walking unknown streets in a strange city the way it would be if I was holidaying "on land." It's usually a great way to spend an hour or two in the evening. Occasionally the acts are dire but more often that not they are a very good standard.

 

One other thing I would give a new solo female cruiser a "heads up" on is getting served in a bar - on Princess and Royal Caribbean. On both I found that if I went into a bar and sat down and waited for a waiter to come to take my order, it just didn't happen. I never interrogated the waiters to find out what their problem is with a solo lady drinker - I wondered if they assumed I was waiting for someone, or just looking for a seat to sit down for a few minutes, or perhaps solo lady drinkers have over-indulged and got raucous in the past??? :D :D :D In the worst instance I sat for 20min or so more trying to catch the waiter's eye and being ignored but two waiters bustled up within seconds to take the order of a couple who walked in and sat near me. I found this disrespectful of me as a solo woman traveller. I have never seen a solo male cruiser ignored in this way. So if you do fancy a glass of something, it might pay to approach the bartender as you enter the bar and order your drink from him/her.

 

All-in-all it seems we are all agreed our cruises are what we make them - if we are content in our own skin (like me and Slidergirl) we chat to fellow cruisers from time to time but treasure our time alone. Other cruisers are very social people, needing to interact constantly, they will find many on board of the same ilk.

 

As HonoluluBlue says it's your vacation - you will do what is right for you. You must never feel you have to do anything that you are uncomfortable with. You set the rules on a cruise. You've paid your fare - the rest is up to you.

 

On each port day you are going to wake up in a new, exciting, exotic destination. You are going to see wonderful sights, smell amazing smells, taste amazing foods. Your travel from place to place will be stress-free - the guy up front with the "steering wheel" always gets me to the next exciting place on my itinerary with no effort from me as I sleep in my comfy bed. Sea days are lazy days spent by the pool or people-watching or gazing across miles of beautiful ocean or contemplating the ship's wake or watching cooking demonstrations or laughing at belly-flop competitions etc. Whatever you fancy, you can do it (or even nothing at all) because it's your wonderful holiday and you can craft each day into your own special magic day because IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU ;)

 

Have a wonderful time. I wish my next cruise was as soon as yours...sadly I have 16 months to wait!

 

Bon voyage.

 

(Another) Lorraine

Edited September 28, 2016 by elkay1955

[elkay1955]

Elkay1955, you sound like a kindred sprit. I'm just a little older than you (62).

 

I always have to laugh at the people who say we must join the roll call, sign up for the group excursions, take a large table at dinner. I wonder how many of them have actually traveled solo.

I had the ugly experience on my first few cruises of having to sit in the MDR with others. Always got the "pity" play - "why are you by yourself", "you are so brave", etc. Some tried to "adopt" me as if I were some orphan who needed guiding on the cruise. I don't cruise to be pestered by a bunch of strangers, I cruise for the destinations and the SOLITUDE I can find on a ship. I actually do not enjoy the cruise environment for the most part, but I have do do what I have to do to do an itinerary I want to visit.

 

Hahaha, I've had the "you are so brave" message too, multiple times. Who me? David Livingstone I am not! Perhaps the comments were made in awe - they felt instead to be patronising. I'm a "Destination Cruiser" too. I stretch my budget to breaking point to buy a balcony cabin so I can get away from the crowd - channel a sunny sea-day and I'm sure you will know what I mean ;)

 

I envy Lorraine her very first cruise experience - mine was just magic and a very precious memory, though as half of a couple it was a different experience. Second, third, etc cruises are lovely but your first is really, really special isn't it? Sort of like your first love :D

 

Another Lorraine

Edited September 28, 2016 by elkay1955

[calliopecruiser]

Perhaps the comments were made in awe

It is true for some (many?) people -- they cannot imagine traveling alone, even on a cruise (which is a dead easy way to travel alone). I've had casual friends say this to me sincerely, and I know they weren't lying. It's just so foreign to them and a real frightening thought. Whether or not it should be frightening isn't the issue, only that it is to them.

[cruisemom42]

 

I always have to laugh at the people who say we must join the roll call, sign up for the group excursions, take a large table at dinner. I wonder how many of them have actually traveled solo.

I had the ugly experience on my first few cruises of having to sit in the MDR with others. Always got the "pity" play - "why are you by yourself", "you are so brave", etc. Some tried to "adopt" me as if I were some orphan who needed guiding on the cruise. I don't cruise to be pestered by a bunch of strangers, I cruise for the destinations and the SOLITUDE I can find on a ship. I actually do not enjoy the cruise environment for the most part, but I have do do what I have to do to do an itinerary I want to visit.

 

We have to get you off those mainstream lines. :D

 

Perhaps I'm a more patient person overall, but I find most peoples' intentions are not bad. When people say things (thankfully less common now than in the past) about being brave or courageous to travel alone, I look at it as an opportunity to share with them how fulfilling it is and how quickly one adjusts to traveling solo. As another poster said, most comments aren't meant to be offensive.

 

(Honestly I've run into more offensive and/or insensitive comments about traveling solo on this board than ever IRL....)

Edited September 28, 2016 by cruisemom42

[slidergirl]

We have to get you off those mainstream lines. :D

 

Perhaps I'm a more patient person overall, but I find most peoples' intentions are not bad. When people say things (thankfully less common now than in the past) about being brave or courageous to travel alone, I look at it as an opportunity to share with them how fulfilling it is and how quickly one adjusts to traveling solo. As another poster said, most comments aren't meant to be offensive.

 

(Honestly I've run into more offensive and/or insensitive comments about traveling solo on this board than ever IRL....)

 

You know, if I could afford it, I would ;) Unfortunately, I am right in between jobs now and I had to cancel my next cruise (thank God for insurance).

 

I know most of the time it isn't meant to be offensive. But, I've heard it enough when I started cruising (I actually didn't start until I was divorced) that it totally turned me off. In my occupation, I must make "chit chat" all day long with guests. I'm pretty good at polite conversation with guests, even when some of them are rude and boorish. You have to be an actor to be in frontline hospitality. A vacation for me is a chance to not have to make "chit chat" with more strangers. A cruise really is a good choice for some who relish solitude. Think of the balcony cabin - I can spend hours and hours out on a "private" balcony. For the "upper crust" on cruises, the companies market their "Haven", "Sanctuary", "Garden", giving the impression of someplace to retreat to away from the boisterous masses. It is offensive that I should not do a cruise if I want to relax in my solitude.

 

Now, if you could get me a $500 rate for a Voyages of Antiquity cruise in the Med, I'd use my upcoming unemployment insurance (unless I land a new job quick) for it - I've got the miles to get me there ;) I'll even pitch in one of my Sherpani bags and a favorite European restaurant to sweeten the deal...

Edited September 28, 2016 by slidergirl

[cruisemom42]

You know, if I could afford it, I would ;) Unfortunately, I am right in between jobs now and I had to cancel my next cruise (thank God for insurance).

 

I know most of the time it isn't meant to be offensive. But, I've heard it enough when I started cruising (I actually didn't start until I was divorced) that it totally turned me off. In my occupation, I must make "chit chat" all day long with guests. I'm pretty good at polite conversation with guests, even when some of them are rude and boorish. You have to be an actor to be in frontline hospitality. A vacation for me is a chance to not have to make "chit chat" with more strangers. A cruise really is a good choice for some who relish solitude. Think of the balcony cabin - I can spend hours and hours out on a "private" balcony. For the "upper crust" on cruises, the companies market their "Haven", "Sanctuary", "Garden", giving the impression of someplace to retreat to away from the boisterous masses. It is offensive that I should not do a cruise if I want to relax in my solitude.

 

Now, if you could get me a $500 rate for a Voyages of Antiquity cruise in the Med, I'd use my upcoming unemployment insurance (unless I land a new job quick) for it - I've got the miles to get me there ;) I'll even pitch in one of my Sherpani bags and a favorite European restaurant to sweeten the deal...

 

I totally understand. I don't have a "front-facing" job, so for me i enjoy a little chit-chat on vacation. But if I had to deal with customers all day I'd probably want to hide under a rock.

 

Wish I could help you out with VTA. Their solo rates are better than most but they still aren't cheap. I book well in advance and take advantage of specials + past passenger discounts.

[calliopecruiser]

For the "upper crust" on cruises, the companies market their "Haven", "Sanctuary", "Garden", giving the impression of someplace to retreat to away from the boisterous masses. It is offensive that I should not do a cruise if I want to relax in my solitude.

 

You should try a luxury line where the crowds are non-existent and there is much more free space for you to enjoy while relaxing in solitude (beyond the limits of a balcony). No Sanctuary or Haven - the entire ship is relaxing.

 

Or you can continue to do what you're doing in spite of not really enjoying the cruise.

 

It's true that if you are looking for a lot of solitude, a mass market cruise line is not a very good choice, because you won't find many places for solitude. I don't know why you find that comment offensive.

[zoncom]

Maybe not a luxury line, but a premium line like Celebrity or Oceania where solos are treated equally and not asked why they are no longer married. I was only asked this once on HAL .One wonderful thing;there will always be another cruise.

Edited September 28, 2016 by zoncom

[slidergirl]

You should try a luxury line where the crowds are non-existent and there is much more free space for you to enjoy while relaxing in solitude (beyond the limits of a balcony). No Sanctuary or Haven - the entire ship is relaxing.

 

Or you can continue to do what you're doing in spite of not really enjoying the cruise.

 

It's true that if you are looking for a lot of solitude, a mass market cruise line is not a very good choice, because you won't find many places for solitude. I don't know why you find that comment offensive.

 

There actually plenty of places to be found on mass market cruise where you can enjoy some relaxing solitude. And, noise-cancelling headphones and sunglasses on an outside deck help! I love being on the ocean, so unless I find a very rich person who wants to finance my own yacht, I have cruises ;) I would love to be able to cruise on the smaller ships, but sadly finances would restrict me to maybe one cruise every 5-10 years if I wanted to do those. I just make-do with what I can afford. I'd love to have a glass of Brunello every night, but I'm happy to have a glass from my $15 bottle of Tuscan red blend.

It was offensive because the implication was that I shouldn't cruise or answer any questions on a cruise site because I don't like to do all the "big ship" stuff...

[calliopecruiser]

I would love to be able to cruise on the smaller ships, but sadly finances would restrict me to maybe one cruise every 5-10 years if I wanted to do those. I just make-do with what I can afford.

 

You may be surprised.....if you haven't run the numbers on Crystal, check them out. Their single supplement on window cabins is typically 30% on virtually all of their voyages. Wonderfully relaxing voyages with great service, IMO.

[SPacificbound]

Board without pre-conceived expectations, and just let this new adventure roll out for you. Be sure to explore the ship and you will find your favorite places.

 

Most of all, relax and have a wonderful time. :)

[NLH Arizona]

You may be surprised.....if you haven't run the numbers on Crystal, check them out. Their single supplement on window cabins is typically 30% on virtually all of their voyages. Wonderfully relaxing voyages with great service, IMO.

Have to agree, I also cruise on Crystal and the single supplement is one of the best. You might pay a higher 1st person rate, but it could come out lower than a premium line because of the lower single supplement.

[made in canada]

I did my first solo last year and did the mystery dinner on the first night. the other nights I ate at the main dinning room and would tell them that they could sit me alone or with others. On one night when I was waiting for my table some of the people I met at the mystery diner came up behind me and told the host to sit me with them. I enjoyed their company the first night so I did. I too, as others have said, like to do my own thing but was also nice to have some faces from the dinner to say hi too. If I was sitting out on deck and someone with a different accent than mine sat beside me I would ask them where they where from to strike up a conversation if I was in the mood to be social :). On the other hand I also did not apologize if someone invited me to join them but I was not feeling it. I was not rude would just say "no thanks I already had plans etc... I say just enjoy it there is so much to do and see on the ship that it should never be boring.

[bazbov]

Hello sldrgirl.

I can't really add anymore to what everyone else has said. Just wanted to wish you a very very pleasant cruise. relax and enjoy it. Happy cruising :)

[Gwendy]

Interesting point about being ugnored as a single in the bars. I once had a waiter ask me to move on formal night as there was a couple who needed a table. Did I move? Hell no. I explained to him that the couple could sit at the table but because I was a single I would not be exiled to the other places. I reminded him that I pay double for my cruise. He then apologised and gave me a complimentary drink.

I also have this problem with the buffet with tea or coffee at breakfast. Everyone gets offered it but not me. I am not averse to bailing up a passing waiter and requesting service.

Cruising solo is wonderful, just put on the brave smile when people tell you are marvellous you are to cruise alone. Check out their partners and realise they are so jealous you don't have to put up with what they do.

My typical response is I have no one to cruise with, so it was sit at home or cruise alone.

Cruisers generally are very kind, courteous, chatty people. Just enjoy yourself.

[slidergirl]

Hello sldrgirl.

I can't really add anymore to what everyone else has said. Just wanted to wish you a very very pleasant cruise. relax and enjoy it. Happy cruising :)

 

I was not the OP. I was the one who was told that, since I don't like most big things on a ship and that I prefer to keep to myself, that I shouldn't comment on cruise things ;)