Biggest Cruise Fails - AU/NZ Edition

[CruiseCriticAUeditor]

Hi all

We're in the process of localising a lot of the American content on Cruise Critic (big job!) as well as continuing to write lots of original local news and features too.

 

I'd like to update this feature (link below) with stories from the AU/NZ board. So, what's been your biggest blunder on a cruise? I am sure we can be funnier/more embarrassing than the American examples.

 

http://www.cruisecritic.com.au/articles.cfm?ID=1623

 

If we include it, your CC name will be used, unless you ask to be "anonymous".

 

Thanks!

Louise Goldsbury

Australia Editor

Cruise Critic

[Haoie]

Last year, I assisted some foreign visitors [i spoke the language] with dining in the MDR. Since their grasp of English was poor and were first timers, they didn't know the MDR was complementary and was eating at the lido every meal.

 

I'm sure this happens relatively often with the inexperienced!

[GUT2407]

Not sure if this fits but had a few funny ones with language...

 

Had one CD, AMERICAN I think who kept talking about girls wearing "Budgie Smugglers" until it was quietly explained to her about what a Budgie is in that context and how girls don't have them. Now talk about a pretty shade of red.

 

Another a Canadian, wanted to find out all about this Tea Shop called Maccas, because an Aussie crew member had asked her to meet him at Maccas for tea, and see what happened from there.

 

Me nothing, I'm too daft to notice if I've done wrong.

[Beanb41]

We were in an obstructed veranda on the one of Celebrity's S class ships. DW was walking around in what God had given her only to realise that crew were working on the tender and could see straight into the cabin. Quick pull of the blinds,.

[Aussieflyer]

Probably not a fail as such, but when we were disembarking in Reykjavik after an Arctic cruise, we were unsure which dock would be used so to be on the safe side decided to book a private transfer though the ship at a cost of $150. A lovely new Audi collected us and when we asked how far the hotel was, the driver said it wasn't far but a bit convoluted to get to because of the one way streets etc. When we pulled up outside we looked back and there was the ship, virtually within walking distance. The most expensive transfer per km ever :) :o

[aussielozzie18]

I was taking my lovely decorated cupcake back to the cabin after enjoying the cupcake decorating class on the Voyager. I had gotten some nice compliments in the lift so I was looking forward to showing my teens. When I reached the cabin, instead of knocking, I opened the door while trying to hold onto a double cupcake on a flimsy paper plate. On opening the door, the cupcake went flying and landed upside down on the cabin carpet (I might have let out little scream). Teens thought it was very funny.

[CruiseCriticAUeditor]

Thanks for the laughs! These will definitely get the story started!

[GUT2407]

Seen a few bodies, either joining the balcony club (reflections off glass balconies) or when the ship docked near appartments (it may have been a hotel I guess).

 

Saw one bloke outside his room covering bits with a bowl and room service tray, I imagine he was putting them out and the door ship, but I'm not sure.

[didiaust]

A few years back we parked at Darling Harbour and walked over to Wharf 7 Hickson Rd and on the way I purchased the 2 Sunday Papers. I was sitting reading them the next day and a couple of ladies excitedly asked me where to get the morning papers. I wanted to say "you wait on the helipad each morning" but I explained that I bought the ashore

[mr walker]

Not so much a 'fail' but funny to me :eek:

 

On Day 6 of a 7 day cruise I saw an older lady looking lost. Being my ever helpful self, I asked her what she was looking for. She said she wanted to go to the theatre. I said ok, that's one deck down and all the way to the front of the ship. She smiled and thanked me, and then said "which way is the front of the ship?" On Day 6?? I pointed out the windows and said, "see we are going this way" pointing, "that means the front of the ship is this way". She smiled and thanked me again.

[GUT2407]

A few years back we parked at Darling Harbour and walked over to Wharf 7 Hickson Rd and on the way I purchased the 2 Sunday Papers. I was sitting reading them the next day and a couple of ladies excitedly asked me where to get the morning papers. I wanted to say "you wait on the helipad each morning" but I explained that I bought the ashore

 

I've been asked the same a few times.

[GUT2407]

Not so much a 'fail' but funny to me :eek:

 

On Day 6 of a 7 day cruise I saw an older lady looking lost. Being my ever helpful self, I asked her what she was looking for. She said she wanted to go to the theatre. I said ok, that's one deck down and all the way to the front of the ship. She smiled and thanked me, and then said "which way is the front of the ship?" On Day 6?? I pointed out the windows and said, "see we are going this way" pointing, "that means the front of the ship is this way". She smiled and thanked me again.

 

I've often had difficulty knowing which way we were going.

 

Love the little fish some useon their carpets to show you, and am not happy that they seem to be doing away with coloured carpet trim to differentiate Port from Starboard.

[mr walker]

Love the little fish some useon their carpets to show you, and am not happy that they seem to be doing away with coloured carpet trim to differentiate Port from Starboard.

 

Yes, some of the things they use to assist are very good, like the carpet colour, the directional nature of the cabin number displays etc, although it was a few cruises before I realised some of them were there!

[GUT2407]

Yes, some of the things they use to assist are very good, like the carpet colour, the directional nature of the cabin number displays etc, although it was a few cruises before I realised some of them were there!

 

Pity they don't have some sort of tips, like those on the TV or on a sheet in your cabin or even an optional lecture.

 

For all the first timers.

[GUT2407]

Pity they don't have some sort of tips, like those on the TV or on a sheet in your cabin or even an optional lecture.

 

For all the first timers.

 

I should have said even the old times who missed them.

[mrs and mrs]

Sitting having a few midday drinks.

Wife says to husband, Did you put clothes in washer.

Husband, Of course I did.

Wife goes down to check 3/4 hr later, comes up fuming.He had put them in dryer with washing powder.

Wife makes him take out and put in washing machine.

Then they try and clean out dryer with hands, which was a hopeless task, as all the powder had fallen through the holes, in the drum.

After being properly washed, husband then proceeds to put in same dryer.

Result, now wet clothes in dryer, with powder falling back through and making quite a mess, foam, etc, etc.

Part 2.

Wife takes over, re-washes, and dries in different dryer.

What was a 1 1/2 hr job turned into 3 1/2 hrs.

Husband proceeds to drink through the day,and early evening, and misses dinner.

Wife starts search, after 1 1/2 hrs searching, he is found asleep in a cnr, in the wheelhouse bar.

Wife misses dinner.

That one was certainly divorce court material, as they kept sniping for the next 10 days.

[Beanb41]

Sitting having a few midday drinks.

Wife says to husband, Did you put clothes in washer.

Husband, Of course I did.

Wife goes down to check 3/4 hr later, comes up fuming.He had put them in dryer with washing powder.

Wife makes him take out and put in washing machine.

Then they try and clean out dryer with hands, which was a hopeless task, as all the powder had fallen through the holes, in the drum.

After being properly washed, husband then proceeds to put in same dryer.

Result, now wet clothes in dryer, with powder falling back through and making quite a mess, foam, etc, etc.

Part 2.

Wife takes over, re-washes, and dries in different dryer.

What was a 1 1/2 hr job turned into 3 1/2 hrs.

Husband proceeds to drink through the day,and early evening, and misses dinner.

Wife starts search, after 1 1/2 hrs searching, he is found asleep in a cnr, in the wheelhouse bar.

Wife misses dinner.

That one was certainly divorce court material, as they kept sniping for the next 10 days.

 

Obviously a new wife not understanding the pressures of being a husband on a cruise

[mrs and mrs]

Obviously a new wife not understanding the pressures of being a husband on a cruise

 

Correct, and the pressures of trying to get them into a suit or to wear a tie, is almost insurmountable :eek::rolleyes:

[Beanb41]

Correct, and the pressures of trying to get them into a suit or to wear a tie, is almost insurmountable :eek::rolleyes:

 

The wife still doesn't understand. Don't bother, thus removing unnecessary grief and pressure

[GandM-nq]

Obviously a new wife not understanding the pressures of being a husband on a cruise

Rofl

 

Not as bad a laundry incident. I was in the laundry (Princess, Med cruise) when a gentleman whom I assume came from North America somewhere (going on accent), dropped in with 2 sons in tow. He looked around, loaded the dryer with dirty clothes and a detergent pod. I would have felt bad if I didn't point out to him his mistake before he dropped his coins in. Guessing he felt real small, what with his 2 sons looking on.

 

And same cruise, laundry conversation with a lady (was aussie and all), day 5 of a 7, asking me was there anywhere else to eat for dinner other than the Horizon? !!

[GUT2407]

I've seen the detergent in the dryer a few times.

 

Last cruise a lady put her tokens in the drier, then bumped the door, it shut, and once shut it starts, once started the door can't be opened, well there goes $3.

[mrs and mrs]

Memo to cruise lines.

Want a sure fire winner.

Forget rock climbing,grassed lawns etc,etc.

Introduce The Boys Shed, a convenient place to relax

 

The Boys Shed.

 

Relax in 30 yr old dusty couches,while gazing at re-runs of motor racing and football.

 

Included old bits of machinery, that one can take apart, never to be put back together again.

 

Name that tool competition.

 

Attempt to fix,washing machines, old furniture, motors,Prizes awarded to its working but you have to hold this,twist your head and hold that,and hold those 2 wires together with 1 foot.

 

10 yr old magazines,stained coffee cups,clothing op-shop pick up and drop off.

 

Ladies drop him off.Then relax knowing he is fine.

Opt extra, Cruise card comes printed with Please return to cabin #@$%, at end of voyage.

 

Not such a silly idea,actually. The Boys Shed.

Edited October 5, 2016 by mrs and mrs

[ozziepost]

On our only trip on the old PAC Sun In 2010 I was on one of the upper decks watching the tenders being bought back on board at MI. On this trip there were quite a few very senior intellectual handicapped adults. On the deck below me was one of these gents standing alongside one of the passengers who had both hands in plaster apparently from a fall.

 

The handicapped gent nudged the passenger alongside him and asked him if he could take a photo for him. I looked down on them in amazement as the chap with his hands in plaster took the camera off the handicapped gent and took a few shots for him before handing the camera back - indeed a touching moment.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums

[Dobby_The_Ship_Elf]

On a day trip to Savala Island Fiji one of the locals warned everyone about the slippery rocks.......

 

Yup - you guessed it, lasted 20 mints for Mrs Elf to go A over T on said rocks :mad:

 

Followed 30 mins later by my good and embarrassed self on the same rocks :o

 

Two very sore and sorry Elfs for the remainder of our cruise :(.

[linanles]

Hi all

We're in the process of localising a lot of the American content on Cruise Critic (big job!) as well as continuing to write lots of original local news and features too.

 

I'd like to update this feature (link below) with stories from the AU/NZ board. So, what's been your biggest blunder on a cruise? I am sure we can be funnier/more embarrassing than the American examples.

 

http://www.cruisecritic.com.au/articles.cfm?ID=1623

 

If we include it, your CC name will be used, unless you ask to be "anonymous".

 

Thanks!

Louise Goldsbury

Australia Editor

Cruise Critic

 

How strange. When you follow the link above it takes you to a CC page and when you want to post a reply it wants you to login by one option only, an FB account. Strange for a website that doesn't allow references to FB. What's wrong with a CC login?