Are You My Mother? Passport processing problem

[Calico Mary]

So spouse and I are preparing to get passports. Thank heavens postal clerk told him to check his birth certificate to see if his parents' names are on it. WHAT?? It's true. In the "old days" the names of the father and mother aren't listed!! So now spouse has to go through an extra hoop to get a passport. Luckily my parents' names ARE listed on my birth certificate. Cruise is in November, so there is time to fix this little glitch.

[reallyitsmema]

Yup, says right on the passport application what information needs to be on the birth certificate. If you live in or near where he was born, it should be very easy to get a new, certified birth certificate. I can get one from City Hall for $5, same day. If you go through vital records, it takes longer and is more expensive.

[cb at sea]

If you're using a "certificate of live birth" from the hospital...that doesn't work.

[Ocean Dancer]

So spouse and I are preparing to get passports. Thank heavens postal clerk told him to check his birth certificate to see if his parents' names are on it. WHAT?? It's true. In the "old days" the names of the father and mother aren't listed!! So now spouse has to go through an extra hoop to get a passport. Luckily my parents' names ARE listed on my birth certificate. Cruise is in November, so there is time to fix this little glitch.

So, just curious. What do you have to do/get? A dear friend of mine was secretly adopted. She was never told and figured it out in her 30's. She never had a birth cert. Everything was obtained by Baptismal Papers. That would not work today.

[easyboy]

Useful tip for those without passport yet!

 

Sent from my SGH-M919 using Forums mobile app

[waterbug123]

check his birth certificate to see if his parents' names are on it. WHAT?? It's true. In the "old days" the names of the father and mother aren't listed!!

 

If you're using a "certificate of live birth" from the hospital...that doesn't work.

 

It's not necessarily just hosptial BC's that don't list parents and some BC's today still don't. For example, I live in SC and there are 2 different versions of birth certificates here. There's a "long form" that is a full sheet of paper and lists the baby's parents. There's also a "short form" that is roughly the side of a credit card or DL (I guess so you can carry it in your wallet, though I don't know why you'd need to) and it does NOT list the parents.

[shippmates]

We had to get new birth certificates when we applied for our first passports. Back in the day parents names were not listed. We just went to the Dept of Vital Statistics. Very easy and very quickly. Enjoy your cruise.

[njmomof2]

So, just curious. What do you have to do/get? A dear friend of mine was secretly adopted. She was never told and figured it out in her 30's. She never had a birth cert. Everything was obtained by Baptismal Papers. That would not work today.

 

I can't believe that there is not a record of her birth somewhere in the records of Vital Statistics where she was born. Even if they used baptismal records, I would think there has to be a legal record of her birth in some system somewhere.

 

Obviously she now knows, but did she ever try to get a copy of the BC? I'd imagine that if she was adopted secretly, the original BC was changed to list her adopted parents as the only parents of record.

 

Watching Long Lost Family so often, they always find ways to get records.

[Homosassa]

How far "back in the day" is that in time. My husband and I , well over 65, have parents' names on our birth certificates (from different states) and my mother's birth certificate (born in 1920 in different state from either of us) had her parents' names on it.

[Ocean Dancer]

I can't believe that there is not a record of her birth somewhere in the records of Vital Statistics where she was born. Even if they used baptismal records, I would think there has to be a legal record of her birth in some system somewhere.

 

Obviously she now knows, but did she ever try to get a copy of the BC? I'd imagine that if she was adopted secretly, the original BC was changed to list her adopted parents as the only parents of record.

 

Watching Long Lost Family so often, they always find ways to get records.

I believe her records were sealed. The lawyer died before all the paperwork was done and filed. It was a mess. Her mother was not helpful and angry that she was caught in a lie. They had a very strained relationship due to this. Her mother finally had to "readopt" her when my friend was 38. She now has all paperwork and passport. It is a very interesting story.

[LeesSummitCruiser1]

So, just curious. What do you have to do/get? A dear friend of mine was secretly adopted. She was never told and figured it out in her 30's. She never had a birth cert. Everything was obtained by Baptismal Papers. That would not work today.

 

What state? I am adopted in Missouri in 1959. It was a closed adoption through county. My adopted parents are on my birth certificate. As a side note, Missouri just changed the law and in January I can obtain a birth certificate with my biological parents on it. There is a birth certificate somewhere.

[njmomof2]

I believe her records were sealed. The lawyer died before all the paperwork was done and filed. It was a mess. Her mother was not helpful and angry that she was caught in a lie. They had a very strained relationship due to this. Her mother finally had to "readopt" her when my friend was 38. She now has all paperwork and passport. It is a very interesting story.

 

I'm still amazed that there are states where adoption records are still sealed. Amazing that an adoptee cannot find out who they really are and get information on their birth parents. While I get that things happen in life, and a young woman puts her child up for adoption and wants to move on from an event that may have been traumatic, I'm also sympathetic to the child who, as an adult, has no information about who they are, or medical information from their birth family.

 

I hope that the stigma of being an "unwed mother" is gone now, and access to birth records is getting easier with each generation.

 

Was your friend ever able to get information on her birth parents from her mom? I'd think if her mom was so angry at being caught in a decades old lie, she'd be reluctant to offer any information about your friend's birth parents or the situation surrounding her adoption.

[Ocean Dancer]

The birth was in NY and the adoption was in PA around 1950. The reason why this fell through the cracks was because the "child" was given to the birth mother's sister. The "child" figured things out herself as an adult. She looks exactly like her "Aunt" She even obtained a drivers licence with Baptismal Papers. She was put through private school without a Birth Cert.

 

The "child" had the family against the wall with talking to old neighbors, etc, so the family came clean. Her original Adoption papers were dated in the 1980's, not the 1950's. Birth was at a home for unwed mothers that later burned down, at least that was the story she was told. Crazy, huh? Not sure what happened to her original BC. probably still sealed.

Edited June 27, 2017 by Ocean Dancer

[KelJ]

How far "back in the day" is that in time. My husband and I , well over 65, have parents' names on our birth certificates (from different states) and my mother's birth certificate (born in 1920 in different state from either of us) had her parents' names on it.

 

I was born in Pennsylvania in 1966. My birth certificate does not have my parents' names on it. Yes, it's the real deal. It worked to get me on ships, and it worked to get my passport ten years ago.

My brother was applying for a passport card a few years ago and had to reorder his birth certificate from vital statistics because his birth certificate (from 1964) didn't have parents' names listed. So within the last ten years, the passport rules changed and now require a birth certificate with the parents' names.

[njmomof2]

The birth was in NY and the adoption was in PA around 1950. The reason why this fell through the cracks was because the "child" was given to the birth mother's sister. The "child" figured things out herself as an adult. She looks exactly like her "Aunt" She even obtained a drivers licence with Baptismal Papers. She was put through private school without a Birth Cert.

 

The "child" had the family against the wall with talking to old neighbors, etc, so the family came clean. Her original Adoption papers were dated in the 1980's, not the 1950's. Birth was at a home for unwed mothers that later burned down, at least that was the story she was told. Crazy, huh? Not sure what happened to her original BC. probably still sealed.

 

I had a feeling it was something like this. Figured a family member took the baby to raise as theirs but the birth mother was a younger sister or cousin.

 

Amazing that she was able to do all of that with only baptismal papers and no BC. I guess in the mid/late 60s they were not as identity conscious as they are today.

 

Did she have a relationship with her birth mother (thinking it was her aunt) during her childhood? While it's an awful thing to find out that the life you've been living was a lie, and everyone in your life tried to keep the truth from you, hopefully she's made some peace with her past at this point.

[LeesSummitCruiser1]

I'm still amazed that there are states where adoption records are still sealed. Amazing that an adoptee cannot find out who they really are and get information on their birth parents. While I get that things happen in life, and a young woman puts her child up for adoption and wants to move on from an event that may have been traumatic, I'm also sympathetic to the child who, as an adult, has no information about who they are, or medical information from their birth family.

 

As an adopted son, I don't feel that I don't know who I am. I am the son of Peggy and Blake. I do have biological parents who if I ever find I will say thank you to because you gave me to the best parents in the world. I do have the advantage of knowing from my earliest memories that I and my brother were adopted, no secrets to discover.

[Ocean Dancer]

I had a feeling it was something like this. Figured a family member took the baby to raise as theirs but the birth mother was a younger sister or cousin.

 

Amazing that she was able to do all of that with only baptismal papers and no BC. I guess in the mid/late 60s they were not as identity conscious as they are today.

 

Did she have a relationship with her birth mother (thinking it was her aunt) during her childhood? While it's an awful thing to find out that the life you've been living was a lie, and everyone in your life tried to keep the truth from you, hopefully she's made some peace with her past at this point.

I was her best friend at the time.........she knew her birth mother as her Aunt and was very close to her cousins, especially a girl. Everyone used to tell her that they thought her Aunt was her mother. She and her cousin used to pretend that they were sisters at a very young age. It was very crushing to find out the lies and it really played on her emotionally. Mother and Aunt are now deceased, and her family has dropped the charade. Her half siblings now are her sister and brother. which makes her very happy. No more secrets.

Things were so much different in the 50's when she was born............what would the neighbors think????:cool:

[kalliekae]

Interesting thread. I have a friend whose adopted daughter was in the same situation. Her aunt was really her birth mother. She found out in high school from someone who knew the truth. It was a difficult time for her. I don't understand why there were so many secrets in those days. I know it was a stigma to be an unwed Mother, but to not tell your adopted child the truth is/was very hurtful.

[sparks1093]

I was born in Pennsylvania in 1966. My birth certificate does not have my parents' names on it. Yes, it's the real deal. It worked to get me on ships, and it worked to get my passport ten years ago.

My brother was applying for a passport card a few years ago and had to reorder his birth certificate from vital statistics because his birth certificate (from 1964) didn't have parents' names listed. So within the last ten years, the passport rules changed and now require a birth certificate with the parents' names.

 

My NY birth cert didn't have my parents listed and I used it to join the Navy (not sure what year it was issued but believe in the mid-70's). Even today I could order a birth cert from NY state that doesn't contain parental info (and of course needed to order one with the info to obtain my passport when the day came for that). The State Department started requiring this a few years after the DHS WHTI travel regulations went into effect and I have never read of a reason why this is a requirement- I do not see how having the parents names on the birth certificate increase the security of the passport program at all.

 

(And DW was adopted in Germany by an American couple which meant that her adoption was open and she was allowed to know who her natural family is, and we have just returned from our annual visit to see her brother and sister.)

[waterbug123]

I know it was a stigma to be an unwed Mother, but to not tell your adopted child the truth is/was very hurtful.

 

I agree, but you have to understand that things were very different "back then." As an adoptee, I did a tremendous amount of reading adn research while searching for (and ultimately finding) my birth mother. Certain things just weren't discussed openly and lies were common. Birth mothers were inevitably told "you'll get married and have another baby and forget all about this one" which is complete *&$%#. But due to the stigma of being an unwed mother, many tried to forget, and often never told their future spouses and other future children. You can imagine the can of worms that opens up if and when the child comes calling 30 or 40 years later! Likewise, adoptive parents were frequently told, "if you raise this child properly and love it, he/she will never have any questions," which is also complete &^#$%. A lot of adoptive parents banked on that though, and since infertility was not something that was openly discussed anyway, it led to a lot of adoptions being kept secret, even to the adoptee. The parents just wanted to pretend everything was "normal" and get on with raising their baby. I was blessed with adoptive parents who told me from the beginning that I was adopted so it was never a secret, thankfully.

[hapster85]

I was born in Pennsylvania in 1966. My birth certificate does not have my parents' names on it. Yes, it's the real deal. It worked to get me on ships, and it worked to get my passport ten years ago.

My brother was applying for a passport card a few years ago and had to reorder his birth certificate from vital statistics because his birth certificate (from 1964) didn't have parents' names listed. So within the last ten years, the passport rules changed and now require a birth certificate with the parents' names.

 

My then 67 year old father applied for a passport for the first time in 2015. During processing, it was discovered that his mother's maiden name, was erroneously listed as the surname from her previous marriage, not her actual birth name. My father had never noticed this, and had used this birth certificate throughout his life to that point. He had to contact vital statistics and have it corrected before they would issue the passport. Fortunately, it only took a couple of phone calls, and only delayed processing by a couple of weeks.

 

This conversation made me wonder if the error would have been caught if he had applied for his passport prior to the rule changes. No way to know, of course. Just interesting the things that can pop up when applying.

[sparks1093]

My then 67 year old father applied for a passport for the first time in 2015. During processing, it was discovered that his mother's maiden name, was erroneously listed as the surname from her previous marriage, not her actual birth name. My father had never noticed this, and had used this birth certificate throughout his life to that point. He had to contact vital statistics and have it corrected before they would issue the passport. Fortunately, it only took a couple of phone calls, and only delayed processing by a couple of weeks.

 

This conversation made me wonder if the error would have been caught if he had applied for his passport prior to the rule changes. No way to know, of course. Just interesting the things that can pop up when applying.

 

It's things like this that really perplex me, how does his mothers name impact his citizenship in any way, shape or form? That is the reason for submitting the birth certificate in the first place after all. Gobmint can be really bizarre.

[njmomof2]

As an adopted son, I don't feel that I don't know who I am. I am the son of Peggy and Blake. I do have biological parents who if I ever find I will say thank you to because you gave me to the best parents in the world. I do have the advantage of knowing from my earliest memories that I and my brother were adopted, no secrets to discover.

 

I think it's wonderful that you have such loving parents. And please know that I didn't mean anything by my comment. I just think that there was so much information kept from adopted children due to closed adoptions, like any genetic information that might be vital down the road, or information about siblings. Many were not as lucky as you, where your parents told you early on that you and your brother were adopted, but were kept in the dark until they were much older, and perhaps spent years wondering why they didn't look like others in their family, and were brushed off when they asked.

[kmorg1234]

What state? I am adopted in Missouri in 1959. It was a closed adoption through county. My adopted parents are on my birth certificate. As a side note, Missouri just changed the law and in January I can obtain a birth certificate with my biological parents on it. There is a birth certificate somewhere.

 

This is most interesting! I was adopted in MO in 1963. Can you tell me more about this new law? The parents listed on my BC are my adoptive parents, but would love to know who the biological parents are to thank them.

[njmomof2]

This is most interesting! I was adopted in MO in 1963. Can you tell me more about this new law? The parents listed on my BC are my adoptive parents, but would love to know who the biological parents are to thank them.

 

I copied this from information I found online:

 

On Jan. 2, 2018, adoptees born after 1940 and who are at least 18 years old will be able to request their original birth certificates. For this group, the law will have some limits. Birth parents who want to remain anonymous may file a document with the state that would effectively redact their names from the original birth certificate. If both birth parents file the same document, the original birth certificate will remain sealed.