Letter from Seamore Schipz

[Goodtime Cruizin]

Letter from Seamore Schipz

 

Greetings.

My name is Seamore Schipz. I would love to enjoy myself on a cruise and I want to go now, today. I wish to employ you Mr. Roy Al for my pleasure. I do expect an exceptionally clean ship. After all you've had a year to clean it and prepare for my arrival. I also expect a freindly staff that smiles at me all the time. I want the most excellent food served at my liking in the best table you have. I'll need front row seating wherever & whenever I go including the pool.  i'll need cocktails at the snap of my fingers, and service at the drop of my hat. I expect a special venue for like minded folks so we can enjoy each other's gossip during happy hour. On top of all this, I do not expect to wear those pesky masks, and I do not want even hear the word protocal during my stay. Those things are not for me anyway. Now that we have that all settled, let's discuss who I want on my ship. Please make the arrangements necessary that removes any and all of your riff raff employess that have not been vaccinated as I expect to be only serviced and smiled upon by vaccinated crew members. And speaking of riff raff, please filter all who come on board as well. Make sure they have been vaccinated as I do not expect nor wish to hear of any unforseen issues or problems that might interupt my cruise. And besides, between you & I,  we both know those people are just one life boat short of the Titanic anyway. So do get rid of them. Especially those screaming kids.

 

Now I wish to leave from Ft. Lauderdale as it's only a few miles from my home. So therefore, it will be necessary for you to bypass any Florida laws. You should have prevented this before it was allowed. Now you have your hands full. Futhermore, I do not want to go to any port that has issues with vaccinations. Make sure every stop is Covid free and everyone has had their full vaccination. Now... let's talk finances. Since I'm doing my part to allow you to serve me under my terms, and since you haven't had any cruises in well over one year, I expect a large discounted price. My offer is the price of an inside cabin but I expect nothing less than a Grand Suite for my accomodations. After all I'm in your loyalty program, you need me. 

 

Mr. Roy Al... do you understand and do you concur?

 

Response from Roy Al

 

Whatever Seamore. Bring a mask, buy a package.  You'll go where & when we say. And you'll go with who we say. Have a good time & don't worry about us smilling at you. We find you easy to laugh at. Here's your invoice. 

 

Response from Seamore

 

Oh... OK... well then...  thank you for your assistance and clearing that up. Can't wait to see you and smell the ocean! 

 

Response from Roy Al

 

Oh Gawd.... here we go.

[HicksRA]

Seamor Schipz and his wife Fickle Fran should have a lovely time. 
After all, they’ve learned everything they need to know about cruising on Cruise Critic. 

[EatonDoolittle]

I think Seamore smoked somethin' for breakfast this morning.

[ticketsunlimited]

Seamore needs to spend some time in the hot tub with IPee Freeley😉

[Tree_skier]

Hilarious!

[Eddie Wilson]

I am pretty darn sure I have met Seamore, or at least seen him in action first hand.  

 

Eddie

[Curtzilla]

Roy Al's response was confirmed by Bar Manager Jen Anne Tonnic and Ship's Meteorologist Sonny Day.