Willdra's Heavenly Carnival Horizon Apr. 29-May 7 Cruise Review

[willdra]

 

If I gave you diamonds and pearls. Would you be a happy boy or a girl? If I could, I would give you the world. But all I can do is just offer you my review. ~Prince and The New Power Generation~

 

 

Hey y'all! Welcome to Willdra's Heavenly Carnival Horizon Apr. 29-May 7 Cruise Review. In this installment of "Where in the world is Willdra?", W (a man who married me, then dedicated his life to making sure we are never hungry) and I are joined by his sister AG, and her husband BG. #freshmeat 

 

Ok cruise cousins, let's get into it! Wait. Before we do that, I must issue a warning. This review will be giving "Results May Vary" with a splash of high glucose levels, trans fats, and eyeball fatigue. Still here? Cool. Lets continue.

 

Per my rambunctious life, I needed this vacay in the worst way. Long story short, short story long, pre travel day was a Section 8 house fire. The first sparks commenced on my way to work. My car started trippin, and not in a good way. I was going about 70 mph (allegedly), when suddenly it started slowing down to 45. On its own. Who approved this?? Not I said the cat. I hit the gas harder and maybe 4 minutes later, it got up to 60. I don't live that far from my office, but that drive felt like an eternity of fighting with forward motion. I was instantly irritated. This car is only 2 years old, and this should not be happening. I don’t know if anybody told my car, but ain’t nobody got time for this. Not today. Not ever.

[willdra]

 

Here's where my life was engulfed. My assistant manager took the day off since he would be dealing with the whole world and holding down the fort during my PTO (which really stands for Prepare The Others). I don’t blame him. I make it look easy. It's not.

 

When I finally got to work, I called W cuz I was frustrated, I'm a girl, and I didn't like any of the options that I was coming up with. Typically, I'm the problem solver. However, on this day, my hands, and my brain were tied. W came to my rescue W style. He was leaving work early, so he ended up picking up my car and taking it to the dealership for me. I think he felt like this would be better than having to pay for my bail bond. Wise man.

 

It turned out that W had to leave my car with them for the week. No biggie. We could just take his car, that he never drives, to the airport. Then I remembered why that was not ideal. W had no Peach Pass and no frills. Very basic. This meant that we had to get up with the raccoons in order to fight our way to the airport by 6am for our 8am flight. Super.

[willdra]

My alarm was set for 4 am. Is Jesus even up then? Go time was 5 am. I actually woke up about 10 minutes before my alarm. I slept ok, but I was dreading the drive, and I wanted to make sure that we left on time. I stayed on task (I refused to open any social media apps on my phone), and I woke W up around 4:20. We handled our hygiene, did the discount double check on the house, made sure that we had our essentials, then miraculously we pulled out at 5.

 

Hold up, not so fast. W saw a hallway light on as we drove past the house. I said “Do you want to go back and turn it off?”. I don't even know why I asked. I already knew the answer. We went back. While W was in the house I was trying to decide if I needed to wring out my bladder again. As soon as he was walking out of the garage, I decided to go. It’s the power of suggestion for me. Better safe than sorry. At 5:04 we closed the garage, and got on the road. Traffic going to the ATL was very light. At 5:42 we were passing the Grady curve. IYKYK. Why can't we always get through downtown that fast? Oh yeah. People. Too many people.

[willdra]

We got into the parking garage for our offsite parking lot at 5:57. W pulled in, I handed him my phone to scan the code, he scanned it, and we were in. Amazing how that works when you’re prepared! As soon as we parked, the shuttle driver pulled up, unloaded then reloaded our bags, and we were off. Another advantage of leaving this early was that we were not fighting for our lives to get anywhere. Yet. The driver only picked up 3 more people then we went to the airport. South Terminal was first, then we were next. We were dropped off at baggage claim, so we had to walk all the way down to the end for Southwest.

 

Suddenly there were bodies everywhere. Some standing, sitting, walking, and generally existing. Our solitude was over. We found a kiosk, signed in, printed luggage tags, turned over the bags, then went to find PreCheck. TSA is a product of hades. We wanted as little of that as possible, so shortly after we got back from our last cruise, we signed up for PreCheck. Now we just needed to find the entrance to it. We walked along following the signs. We eventually found it. It was back past South Terminal by the T Gates. That was a hump. Before we got there, I thought maybe we'd gotten tricked, and we were just walking to FLL instead of flying. That's how far it was.

 

Thankfully the line was short and it moved fast. It took maybe 10 minutes from beginning to end and I was in love y'all. I silently reprimanded myself for waiting this long to get it. Sometimes I'm a slow learner. I thoroughly enjoyed not having to take anything off or out of my backpack. It felt very VIP-ish. Somebody get me a robe and tiara! After we breezed thru Pre, we continued on, and sadly we were back in the general population sooner than we would've liked. VIP ova. We waited behind a huge group of people to get on the train to Gate C. We didn’t need to get on right then since we had time, but we were able to shove in the next car. Those trains hold a lot of people. Uncomfortably. With zero personal space. Wear deodorant. 

[willdra]

We reached Gate C, and as expected, we had to walk all the way to the end. We passed Chick Fil A on the way. Right then my food decision was made. I would be going there for a quick breakfast. Which I did. The line was longer there than it was at security, but it moved along at a decent pace. Maybe Chick Fil A should work the line at TSA. I'll bet they could keep the wait time under 10 minutes.

 

While I was standing in line, the service tech called about my car. They were checking it in and wanted to know what the deal was. Again. I told him. Again. He said that they would run some thorough tests on it, and have it fixed when we returned. I hung up and said a prayer. Fix it Jesus. Por favor. Then I got my food and the world was a much better place.

 

Boarding began around 7:50. We were in Group A, at the front of the line. At around 8:20 after mostly everyone was seated, some commotion commenced in the front of the plane. I looked up and saw 2 mature adults boarding. Well the wife got on and the flight attendant told her to sit in the first empty seat. I guess she didn’t like that, so she said "oh my husband is coming and we need to sit together". The flight attendant said "Maam. This is a full flight. You are late and slow. Sit down and stop talking. Quickly. We can't leave until you are seated. We waited for you." Well she didn’t say exactly that, but that's what she meant. The lady just stared at her. We were literally all seated and about to leave. She could clearly see that all of the other seats were full. Did she want people to move so they could sit together? I hoped not. You gotta be on time for that. Kudos to the flight attendant tho. She kept her cool and calmly told her to sit down or walk to Ft Lauderdale. That did it. She wisely chose to sit. This happened for the next 10 minutes or so as more late people were still getting on. After the Platinum AARP members got seated, they remembered that they needed to put up their bags.

 

The flight attendant went around looking for room overhead. She found a little space in a bin right by us. She opened the bin and started snatching bags. She snatched the wrong one, cuz W jumped up and said “Please stop there’s something fragile in there”. She didn’t hear him at first, so he said it again. Then when she realized that she was about to draw back a nub, she was like “oh sorry”. W rearranged some stuff then asked her to hand him the bags. She did and he fit them in there. Y’all already know I was very proud of him. For half a second I could see handcuffs and an unattractive orange jumpsuit in his future, but he avoided it. Bravo W. Bravo. Orange is not your color. The flight attendant actually came by later and apologized to him again for almost destroying the contents of his bag. That was nice of her.

[willdra]

After a few more people got on, we began the takeoff procedure. This was good cuz it was starting to feel like we were waiting on people who hadn't even left home yet. There was so much going on that the pilot got on and said “We are now running very late. Everybody sit down and buckle up so we can go”. We left ATL and it was an uneventful flight (which is favorable). The crew was expecting rough weather and a bumpy ride but it wasn’t that bad at all. I dozed on W’s arm off and on, while the young lady next to me slept pretty much the whole way. She woke up right as I grabbed the snacks from the flight attendant. Dang. Now I gotta share. She looked low key sad that she slept thru the drinks, but choices. She chose to keep sleeping therefor she also chose to eat those snacks dry.

 

This flight was very short. We were close to the front in row 7. When the doors opened we got off quick. It helped that we just had backpacks and not a barrage of luggage. This is the way.

 

We went down, scooped up our bags then went to find Hertz. We rode the elevators up to the 2nd floor then walked to the end of the hallway where the rental car desks were located. There was a huge line at Hertz but we skipped it. I found my name and car assignment on the gold membership board. Now we just had to go out, find the car then roll. As soon as we stepped outside, we knew we were in Florida. The humidity stole my breath. In a good way. If stealing your breath could ever be good.

 

There was a Ford Taurus in our spot. W packed the trunk full of our luggage and we went and got in line to exit. It took awhile as car renters all have different situations. Since we are gold we don’t get paperwork to show. I showed him my driver license and the reservation in my Apple Wallet. Let's pause. I’m a huge fan of the Apple Wallet for so many reasons. Having quick access to my credit card, movie passes, flight boarding passes, and rental car reservations are just a few. I believe Google pay works similar but I’ve never used it. 

 

Anywho the agent gave us a thumbs up, printed out our little rental agreement, and W hit the gas. After we plugged in and setup Apple CarPlay and Waze, it dawned on me that this was the same year make and model of car that my aunt and uncle drive. Is it too late to turn around? I don’t think we are old enough to drive this car anymore. Oh well, we will have to make it work. We wound our way out of the airport and into traffic. Always be prepared for traffic. I am always glad that we travel the day before, so we have plenty of time to get to port. When we landed there was a family saying they needed to get off quick because they were boarding a cruise that day. I said a prayer for them. I hope they made it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[willdra]

As we drove into Miami the sky started to look angry. It was dark and ominous. The forecast was for scattered showers, and in FL that usually means they may pack a powerful punch, but they will pass thru quickly.

 

 

 

 

An hour later the sky cleared and all traces of rain were gone. It was about an hour drive to our hotel. We were staying at Hilton Miami. We got there and went to the guest parking garage. It was confusing as to how to get into the Hilton from there. Signs said it was on Deck 7, but it was hard to navigate. We ended up parking on 6, then taking the elevator (and some shady stairs) to 7.

 

We walked out and we found a path on the side-ish of the hotel. Not really a walkway, but it sorta was. And It was raining. Ick. The spot that we were in really looked like it used to be the entrance years ago and they moved it. They also never bothered to change the signs and directions. Brilliant. We walked in thru the first door that we found, and it was actually where the ballrooms were. What the mess? Once in there we really couldn’t figure out where to go. There was a set of elevators, but that wasn’t really helpful, cuz there was no indication as to where the elevators went. Then there was a sign that said "walk around the corner for another set of elevators". Huh? Why is this so hard Hilton? We walked around the corner and figured out where we needed to be. We stepped out of those elevators, and voila. People! I was so glad to see people cuz I was starting to think that we were in the Overlook Hotel from The Shining. Not ideal.

 

 

 

 

 

[willdra]

We found the front desk, and since we were very early, I asked if we could check in, and I was helped right away. We were upgraded to a 1 Bedroom Bayview suite so the extra work getting in there was worth it. I hoped. The guy who checked us in also told to get out of that parking lot and drive down to valet. He said it was only $5 more for valet and it was worth it. He was not wrong. After we went back to collect the Mawmaw and Pawpaw mobile, we drove into valet and everything suddenly made sense. Much better.

 

 

 

 

[Jamman54]

We're here!!! As always, we are so going to enjoy this one!! 😁

[willdra]

This was not a new hotel, but it was nice. I loved the big table in the living area and the 2 bathrooms in our suite. I wish we could bring that room with us on the cruise. I asked W if I could, and he said only if I could fit it in my suitcase. Both of my suitcases were full. Rats.

 

After I snapped a few (hundred) pics, W stated that he had hunger. He sent me a few food choices but I wasn’t feeling them. The restaurant in the hotel was “top rated” so I told W we should just eat lunch there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[willdra]

These were taken thru the windows in the suite. We had a wonderful view. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[willdra]

We walked down to the restaurant, and were seated right away. That was the only thing that happened right away. Service was cold molasses slow. It took a long time to get everything, but when we finally got our food it was on point. W and I loved everything that we got. I think my fave was the beef empanadas. That chimichurri sauce that comes with it put it way over the top. My tastebuds definitely did the mambo #5 on those. W's wings came thru looking like they understood the assignment too. Although a little pricey, I would give it a solid 8 out of 10.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[willdra]

We ate and stared into space for as long as we wanted. We were on vacation and therefor not in anybody's hurry. We started to feel human again after that great meal. That meant we needed to stroll around and checkout more of the hotel. We went out to the pool area next. It was nice out and I think the rain chased away the humidity. There was a breeze blowing that made it good "outside sitting" weather. The only thing that I didn’t like was the view. There was none. It wouldv'e been cool to lay out and watch the cruise ships sail away, but Hilton said nope! We would like to insert a wall there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pretty soon W started to get restless. He wasn’t prepared to sit out a long time, he thought we would just pass thru. After a quick stop back in the room, we decided to walk over to the Publix across the street to get my wine and some other supplies. Caution: even tho the Publix is right across the street, in order to get there, you gotta walk thru some homeless people's living rooms. It's not scary, but just maybe hold your breath as you pass.

 

Publix was not empty. I looked around a little, then I bought 3 bottles of wine. 1 would be for W and I to drink in the hotel, and the other 2 were for the cruise. We took our time getting stuff that we may or may not have needed, then walked back across the street to the hotel. As we were walking, I snapped a few pictures of the area and the hotel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[willdra]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[willdra]

We got back to the room and I opened all of the curtains so that I could see the ships. I have to say this was my favorite part of staying there. We could see all 3 ships and it was a beautiful sight. It was also almost 5 pm and all 3 ships were still here. Not long after I wrote that last sentence, the ships started to sail away. The Royal Caribbean ship was first. Next the Carnival Conquest bust a U-ey and sailed off. The Virgin Ship was last. It left after 6. It took its time. Must be nice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[princess76021]

56 minutes ago, willdra said:

We found the front desk, and since we were very early, I asked if we could check in, and I was helped right away. We were upgraded to a 1 Bedroom Bayview suite so the extra work getting in there was worth it. I hoped. The guy who checked us in also told to get out of that parking lot and drive down to valet. He said it was only $5 more for valet and it was worth it. He was not wrong. After we went back to collect the Mawmaw and Pawpaw mobile, we drove into valet and everything suddenly made sense. Much better.

 

 

 

 

I love what you did to your hair!!!  

thanks for taking us along!

Really  appreciate you guys that take the time to do this

hugs from texas!!

[willdra]

W and I sat on the couch and halfway watched nothing on TV. I didn't want to, but eventually I opened my MacBook and did a little work at the big table. Around 7, we needed to decide what we wanted to eat. I clicked "Top Rated" Seafood Restaurants on Google Maps, and searched the area. I found a place called Luke’s Lobster that looked interesting. W liked it too, so that’s where we went. It was located in the City Centre shopping area. It’s a newer outside mall in Brickell, which was only 15 minutes away.

 

It seemed like it took forever to get there with the crazy traffic downtown. W drove past the parking deck being W, so he pulled into a small side lot that was really just a big patch of dirt. It was $20 to park in that dirty little “parking lot”. I say that loosely, cuz it felt like we were getting scammed. W drove in and the guy was like "It’s $20". W had the unmitigated gall to look at me and say “do you have $20?” “Huh?” “Scuse me?” Uh no. I left my cash at the hotel, and even if I didn’t, I wasn't giving these people 20 of my hard earned dollars to rob us then steal this rental car as soon as we walked away. No thanks.

 

Since W's parking situation was no longer my business, I went back to typing my notes while he settled up with the “parking attendant”. We parked there at our own risk, and walked down to the shopping center. That lot gets a 0 out of 10. Do not recommend. 

 

 

 

[willdra]

We had to find a map to locate the restaurant. When we got there, it was nothing at all what I expected. It was tiny, and you just order at the counter, then eat at one of the little tables inside or outside. Both of us chose the Luke’s Trio which was 1 crab, 1 shrimp, and 1 lobster roll. These were smaller versions of their rolls, but you get to try them all. We also got lobster mac and cheese. It took maybe 4 minutes to get the food.  They also packed it to go, (I think that's what they always do) but we sat outside and ate.

 

I loved all three of the rolls, but I think the shrimp was my fave. The lobster mac and cheese was packed with lobster and cheese, and it was a solid 10. Get it if you go there. While we were chewing, I spotted a gelato sign. Since God has not yet answered my prayer and delivered me from the spirit of needing something sweet after I eat dinner(but he did provide me with a stronger waist trainer), I HAD to get gelato next. I was already beyond full. Didn't matter. I got the cappuccino flavor at Roy de France and it did everything that I needed it to do. It better. I paid $7 for a small cup.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We walked around a little after that then went to collect the rental out of that lot. We were praying on the way that the car didn’t "disappear" while we were gone. It didn't. The Pawpaw and Mawmaw mobile was safe.  Yeehaw.

[willdra]

Earlier in the hotel when I was sifting thru my suitcases, I realized that I was running low on a couple of things. Y’all know what that meant. Walmart here we come! I plugged it into Waze, and the Miami Supercenter was 17 minutes away from us. That 17 minutes was a rough 17 minutes tho.  I could tell that we were going deeper and deeper into the hood, when the scene changed from high rises and expensive cars to 24 hour pawn shops and traffic light panhandlers. Bruh. Every light we stopped at had somebody out there begging. I felt bad for them, but it's so so dangerous to just roll your window down and start handing out money. We gotta stay safe.

 

Right about the time that I was seriously concerned by all of the police activity and questionable surroundings, we arrived. As soon as W parked, a guy rolled over on a walker asking for money. We don’t even make eye contact, we just keep walking. Walmarts in FL usually have better parking lots (bigger and easier to enter and exit) than GA, but some FL Walmarts are pandemonium. Expect crazy and they will over deliver. Every time. Wait, who am I kidding? Walmarts in GA are a battle field too. 

 

Right when we entered, we passed some kids making a TikTok video, an adult crying, and a host of other characters. We were just trying to get 3 things. I stayed focused and got my stuff expeditiously. I don’t think I’ve ever zoomed in and got my stuff so fast. W and I met back up at the checkouts when I was done. That’s another thing about FL Walmarts. Many don't have self checkouts. Why tho?

 

So we played the "which line is shorter" game to get outta there. I was in a line behind a guy who couldn’t figure out how to pay. For 10 whole minutes. Sir get it together BEFORE you get in line please. This shouldn’t be a difficult decision, and if it is, decide somewhere else. W saw a line open up with no one in it so we hopped over there and made it out. Back in the parking lot, the same guy wheeled over and asked us for money again. I guess Ghetto Grinch forgot that we ignored him or he didn’t care. Sheesh. We did it again. 

 

When we got in the car I asked W what was wrong with us. Amongst other things (many), for why aren’t we afraid or concerned about going to Walmart at night, in the hood, in Miami? This should terrify us. We need to rethink life. We might not be doing it right. Immediately following this self assessment, W needed to stop for gas, and yes he stopped at the seediest station he could find. See this is what I mean. He passed up a perfectly nice 7-11, only to go to the no name station with 2 food trucks and several unsavory characters milling around the lot. This cousins, is where he wanted to get out and transact business. Did we not just identify an issue with this behavior?

 

SMH, I locked the doors when he got out to pump, cuz there’s no reason for both of us to go down. He chose this place. Not me. I let him back in after he got gas tho. I'm nice like that.  After all of that life risking, zero calorie burning, and living on the edge, we went back to the hotel and called it a night.

 

 

 

 

 

Before I fell asleep I said a prayer thanking God for locks. Locks keep things in and out at the same time. Locks equal safety and security. I prayed that the inventor of locks got their flowers while they were alive, cuz that invention still slaps.

[meskel503]

Loving it so far, looking forward to more.  

[Mscruiser75]

Enjoying your review! Keep it coming!

[PrincessArlena'sDad]

You are a terrific writer!  Thank you for taking the time for this.

 

We leave on the Horizon two weeks from today! All checked in and ready go to.  This review will keep my enthusiasm at max until then.  Can't wait for more!

[Journey11]

Really enjoying your entertaining and interesting review. Thanks for taking the time to write it.⭐️

[MzShae]

You know I'm here for all of this! Loving it!😍

[mkcurran]

Paying close attention and taking notes. I'll be doing this cruise at this time next year.