One of Those Days – aka, I Need a Cruise

[Ozwoody]

The following has nothing to do with Cruising
But everything to do with going Cruising

 

Introduction
This post is about two things:
a)    Did you ever have one of those days? 
b)    Get distracted.

 

You know Elvis’s song that goes, “Did you ever have one of those days boys, where nothing goes right from morning to night, did ever have one of those day boys”

Yep, we’re going to talk about, one of those days, where Nothing Goes Right. (NGR)

 

Also have you gone to start doing something, and then get distracted while you’re about to do it, and end up doing all sorts of things that wasn’t planned?

Well, I’m pretty sure that the above two are closely linked, and this is my tale of woe.

Most nights as I’m going to bed, I reflect on the day, and plan what I wish to achieve the next day.
My plan this night was to complete the revamp and planting of my veggie gardens, and to clean the dead stems of our bromeliad tree, which is a job long overdue, it’s also a while since we harvested any of the bromeliads from the tree, and they were starting to get out of hand.

 

The morning starts pretty normal; where my first thought is I need to get out early to start on the garden before it gets too hot.

 

I’m the, I’m awake let’s go, type.

But others are the, yep ok I’m waking, let me wiggle my toes and do some stretching, and let me ease slowly into the day, type. 
I’ll let you figure out who’s the second type in this story.

 

Over the last 30 odd years I have learnt to be considerate of the latter type. 
They tend to get decidedly crotchety if you don’t.

 

This morning Hil casually mentions, the front lawn needs to be edge trimmed around the front garden.
Casual statements like this from SWMBO, actually translates into “MUST BE”.

 

Immediately I’m thinking if I built an edge strip between garden and lawn, this would not be a task that takes ages, just a quick whipper snip and its done. 
So brightly suggest to Hil, I will build a wooden edging around it to keep the grass out of the garden

(which in truth is something I’ve been wanting to do for some time). 

 

Now first thing in the morning, is probably not the best time to thrust instant decision making, on someone who hasn’t yet had a chance to have her shower, or even more importantly, her morning coffee.

By the look in her eyes, I can see that the full comprehension of what I’m talking about, is eluding her, and maybe I need to back up a little and let her gently ease into the blossoming day. 

 

But I’m already planning and working out material requirements, and know I have most of what I need to start.

[Ozwoody]

Distraction
Yes, that’s exactly what is happening here, all thoughts of the veggie gardening and bromeliad tree pruning, has temporarily slip from my mind.

So, I’m off down the back to grab those two old 220*50 garden sleepers which would be perfect for the job.
I will slice them down the middle, bury them 60mm down in a nice straight line, that will stop the grass root runners going under, leaving 50mm above ground as the edging, a quick simple job, a couple of hours at most.

 

NGR starts
Hil follows me down, “WHAT are you doing?”
Huh? The garden edge strip I just told you I would make?
I get one of those looks and a, “I did not agree to that!”
Huh? But! 
“I did not agree to that!”
But you’re always complaining the grass keeps growing into your garden? This will solve it. 
“I don’t want an ugly lump of wood exposed around my garden, and you always want straight lines, I like the garden to curve and flow!”
Ahh, yes darling, I umm, I can make it do that, (getting excited here) I can cut it at angles and make it flow around with the garden. I give big hopeful look.
“And what will it look like when finished?”
Umm ahh, (thinking quick on my feet realising that rough timber just won’t get past the look I’m getting).
I say, (face lighting up with my brilliance)  it will have a nice piece of dressed oiled kwila on top. It will look great!! 
Give her my biggest brightest reassuring smile, and raise my eyebrows up & down.
“hmm, we will see”, how long will this take?"
I’ll have it finished today, I sincerely promise, 
“Really”
Ahh yes dear, today, can I go now?
“I’ll be watching”.
Yes dear.

 

Have you by chance noticed the veggie garden & bromeliad tree have been totally forgotten?
But most importantly did you also notice that the simple whip a couple of lengths of wood in half, and half bury them, quicky job. Has suddenly became much, much more complicated. 

 

Very good, you get a free jelly bean, I didn’t!

 

It’s was just a couple of little hiccups, nothing serious.

[Ozwoody]

Now after measuring out around the garden edges, I’ve discovered two things, I will need lots more wood, and I need to figure out how to join all these little wiggly bits together so they form a continuous smooth line, that won’t go out of align over time, or you know who is not going to be happy.

 

Morning is quickly being gobbled up, just measuring up and getting the materials needed.

Run all the sleepers through the table saw to cut them in half.

There is one section of garden that is a nice straight piece, so, started digging shallow test trench for edging, start test laying edging, only to find, that my perfectly flat lawn isn’t!!!!

 

Can’t believe it varies up and down more than 50mm. It looks flat but obviously isn’t.

 

So, you ask?
Well, if you know who, is to be happy, the tops will still have to look even, you see everything will need to be curved but straight and flat. 
Yeah, I know, confusing, but I’m not going argue with the boss.

 

Unfortunately, I have already cut all the timber in half, now how am I going to have it run flat and level but still stop the grass going under. 
Then I remember, I have this black plastic edging I bought some time back to do this very job, but did not get used, as someone decided it looked cheap and nasty and refused to allow its installation.
I could run that in front at a lower level, so it just laps 30mm above the bottom of the sleepers. 
Try a test run, yep it will work.

BUT in some areas, the black plastic is exposed somewhat, well a lot actually.

Then from behind me, I hear a voice say, “I don’t want the black exposed” 
Oh god someone is watching.

Yes dear, I know I’m working on it! I’m planning on adding lawn filler to bring the level up in those areas.
I wasn’t really, but I’m thinking quick on my feet…. Potential problem averted…
Except, oh bugger, just realised, now I’m going to have to order soil in as well. Grrrr.

 

Getting the angles required to go around the curves is proving to be difficult as the curves keep changing and I’m not allowed to change them, my quick job is getting a lot longer.

 

Decided to glue the end together, but to do that, means I have to temporary drill and screw them together while the glue dries, which is adding another complication that is adding time to the project.

 

Starting to wish I had just cut the lawn edges as originally requested.

But that option is not possible now, because SWMBO has now very got excited about her new garden edging, and besides my ego is getting in the way.

To make matters worse, I’m not game to tell her my quicky job is getting too big for a day.

Actually, it is too big for two days.

 

I’m working away, knowing that I am going to have to eventually go up and tell her, the jobs grown into a major project that will take probably 2 to 3 days more to complete. 

 

The worst part of it all is, I know, she knows, and is waiting patiently up there for me to front up.

 

Oh, if only I had stuck with the original plan, which was to ummm, ???? there was? an original plan wasn’t there?

 

Damn it, I so need a cruise!🙄

[Ozwoody]

This quicky job of cutting two rough old sleepers in half and semi burying them, blossomed out into: -

 

3 new sleepers, 
Semi dressed (ie: Sanded back to remove rough furry finish) 
Cut in half.
Stained Japanese brown
Multiple angle cuts
Glue and screwed jointed together.
Laid level following the garden around the existing curves.
1 cubic metres of top dressing.
About 6 metres of kwila sanded and oiled with linseed oil
Which was subsequently cut to fit the sleepers following the garden, then glued & screwed down.
A lot of packing down and restoring of the garden.
A lot of packing down and restoring of the lawn.
AND, almost a week of work.

 

But SWMBO, stood there, and looked at the finished job, nodded a little and said, “hmm yes that looks great, ok yes very happy with it” and gives me a well pleased thank you smile.

Did you read that “It Looks Great, she’s happy”, my heart did soar, I have a happy wife, I’m a happy man.

 

Actually, truth be told, I loved every minute of doing this project it was fun.

 

Next week I’m going to get into that gardening work, and sort out the bromeliad tree, truly I will.

 

Maybe.

 

[Ozwoody]

 

Has anyone else got a: -

 

I need a cruise story?

 

[MicCanberra]

Cheers for that tale, it had all the essential parts of a story, perhaps you should get on the literary cruise in December.

[Jean C]

Hahaha, I often have to put my thinking cap on to work out the acronyms, but I instantly knew SWMBO, thanks to dear Mr Rumpole and his oft referenced case of the Penge Bungalow Murders (my old neck of the woods).

 

Enjoyed your missive and glad that all's well that ends well 👍

Edited January 11 by Jean C

[Cbtours]

1 hour ago, Ozwoody said:

Now after measuring out around the garden edges, I’ve discovered two things, I will need lots more wood, and I need to figure out how to join all these little wiggly bits together so they form a continuous smooth line, that won’t go out of align over time, or you know who is not going to be happy.

 

Morning is quickly being gobbled up, just measuring up and getting the materials needed.

Run all the sleepers through the table saw to cut them in half.

There is one section of garden that is a nice straight piece, so, started digging shallow test trench for edging, start test laying edging, only to find, that my perfectly flat lawn isn’t!!!!

 

Can’t believe it varies up and down more than 50mm. It looks flat but obviously isn’t.

 

So, you ask?
Well, if you know who, is to be happy, the tops will still have to look even, you see everything will need to be curved but straight and flat. 
Yeah, I know, confusing, but I’m not going argue with the boss.

 

Unfortunately, I have already cut all the timber in half, now how am I going to have it run flat and level but still stop the grass going under. 
Then I remember, I have this black plastic edging I bought some time back to do this very job, but did not get used, as someone decided it looked cheap and nasty and refused to allow its installation.
I could run that in front at a lower level, so it just laps 30mm above the bottom of the sleepers. 
Try a test run, yep it will work.

BUT in some areas, the black plastic is exposed somewhat, well a lot actually.

Then from behind me, I hear a voice say, “I don’t want the black exposed” 
Oh god someone is watching.

Yes dear, I know I’m working on it! I’m planning on adding lawn filler to bring the level up in those areas.
I wasn’t really, but I’m thinking quick on my feet…. Potential problem averted…
Except, oh bugger, just realised, now I’m going to have to order soil in as well. Grrrr.

 

Getting the angles required to go around the curves is proving to be difficult as the curves keep changing and I’m not allowed to change them, my quick job is getting a lot longer.

 

Decided to glue the end together, but to do that, means I have to temporary drill and screw them together while the glue dries, which is adding another complication that is adding time to the project.

 

Starting to wish I had just cut the lawn edges as originally requested.

But that option is not possible now, because SWMBO has now very got excited about her new garden edging, and besides my ego is getting in the way.

To make matters worse, I’m not game to tell her my quicky job is getting too big for a day.

Actually, it is too big for two days.

 

I’m working away, knowing that I am going to have to eventually go up and tell her, the jobs grown into a major project that will take probably 2 to 3 days more to complete. 

 

The worst part of it all is, I know, she knows, and is waiting patiently up there for me to front up.

 

Oh, if only I had stuck with the original plan, which was to ummm, ???? there was? an original plan wasn’t there?

 

Damn it, I so need a cruise!🙄

You realise Netflix would buy this script!!!!!

[lyndarra]

26 minutes ago, Jean C said:

Hahaha, I often have to put my thinking cap on to work out the acronyms, but I instantly knew SWMBO, thanks to dear Mr Rumpole and his oft referenced case of the Penge Bungalow Murders (my old neck of the woods).

 

Enjoyed your missive and glad that all's well that ends well 👍

IIRC Rumpole's wife was Hil-da?

[arxcards]

1 hour ago, Ozwoody said:

The following has nothing to do with Cruising
But everything to do with going Cruising

Perfect. That sounds like the charter of this forum 😁

 

I think I need to put on my smart glasses to read this. I am a bit too distracted by work at hand atm.

[Ozwoody]

Thanks guys, appreciate the comments.

 

The last weeks been fun, and I think it good to laugh at your self, and the trouble you can create quite accidently.

 

I was hoping it would inspire others to tell stories, of what was I thinking.... 😆

[Jean C]

8 hours ago, lyndarra said:

IIRC Rumpole's wife was Hil-da?

Sure was 😊 In many ways it would be good to watch those old programmes again, just to see if they have dated - but I expect the grumpy old codger would be as good as he ever was. Comedians sometimes used to use Penge as the butt of their jokes 😂

[Jean C]

7 hours ago, Ozwoody said:

I was hoping it would inspire others to tell stories, of what was I thinking.... 

... it seemed like a good idea at the time 🤣

[Ozwoody]

2 hours ago, Jean C said:

... it seemed like a good idea at the time 🤣

Exactly, I'm hoping people will add some of their own oops stories

[Cbtours]

11 minutes ago, Ozwoody said:

Exactly, I'm hoping people will add some of their own oops stories

You realise you have set the bar pretty high to match your doozy 😁

[Ozwoody]

1 hour ago, Cbtours said:

You realise you have set the bar pretty high to match your doozy 😁

I don't know, even some of the most simple things can result in amazingly unexpected results, that are worth a good giggle.😁

[Cbtours]

33 minutes ago, Ozwoody said:

I don't know, even some of the most simple things can result in amazingly unexpected results, that are worth a good giggle.😁

I think it sounds like a pretty unique set of circumstances you get to have there 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[mr walker]

Quite a tale there John 🙂 Not sure I would have been as adventurous as you were.

 

I have learned to accept my shortcomings as regards to home projects etc & luckily Tracey recognises that I am pretty useless when it comes to anything involving tools and working with my hands. She accepts that in that regards I am somewhat similar to Frank Spencer or Victor Meldrew. Luckily I had a career that used my brain 🙂 

 

Luckily, I realised early in my life that having friends who were even worse in that regards was a good thing as it didn't make me look so bad. So few of my mates are particularly useful either 🙂  The mate who built a shelf for the microwave that gave way in the middle of the very first night has set a low bar for me.

 

My lot in life then has been to pay others to do many of the things that perhaps would be DYI for others.

[ceeceeDee]

19 hours ago, Ozwoody said:

Now after measuring out around the garden edges, I’ve discovered two things, I will need lots more wood, and I need to figure out how to join all these little wiggly bits together so they form a continuous smooth line, that won’t go out of align over time, or you know who is not going to be happy.

 

Morning is quickly being gobbled up, just measuring up and getting the materials needed.

Run all the sleepers through the table saw to cut them in half.

There is one section of garden that is a nice straight piece, so, started digging shallow test trench for edging, start test laying edging, only to find, that my perfectly flat lawn isn’t!!!!

 

Can’t believe it varies up and down more than 50mm. It looks flat but obviously isn’t.

 

So, you ask?
Well, if you know who, is to be happy, the tops will still have to look even, you see everything will need to be curved but straight and flat. 
Yeah, I know, confusing, but I’m not going argue with the boss.

 

Unfortunately, I have already cut all the timber in half, now how am I going to have it run flat and level but still stop the grass going under. 
Then I remember, I have this black plastic edging I bought some time back to do this very job, but did not get used, as someone decided it looked cheap and nasty and refused to allow its installation.
I could run that in front at a lower level, so it just laps 30mm above the bottom of the sleepers. 
Try a test run, yep it will work.

BUT in some areas, the black plastic is exposed somewhat, well a lot actually.

Then from behind me, I hear a voice say, “I don’t want the black exposed” 
Oh god someone is watching.

Yes dear, I know I’m working on it! I’m planning on adding lawn filler to bring the level up in those areas.
I wasn’t really, but I’m thinking quick on my feet…. Potential problem averted…
Except, oh bugger, just realised, now I’m going to have to order soil in as well. Grrrr.

 

Getting the angles required to go around the curves is proving to be difficult as the curves keep changing and I’m not allowed to change them, my quick job is getting a lot longer.

 

Decided to glue the end together, but to do that, means I have to temporary drill and screw them together while the glue dries, which is adding another complication that is adding time to the project.

 

Starting to wish I had just cut the lawn edges as originally requested.

But that option is not possible now, because SWMBO has now very got excited about her new garden edging, and besides my ego is getting in the way.

To make matters worse, I’m not game to tell her my quicky job is getting too big for a day.

Actually, it is too big for two days.

 

I’m working away, knowing that I am going to have to eventually go up and tell her, the jobs grown into a major project that will take probably 2 to 3 days more to complete. 

 

The worst part of it all is, I know, she knows, and is waiting patiently up there for me to front up.

 

Oh, if only I had stuck with the original plan, which was to ummm, ???? there was? an original plan wasn’t there?

 

Damn it, I so need a cruise!🙄

LOVE it John.😆 BTW you nailed the husband's handbook. Don't even attempt to speak to wife until

she has had her morning caffeine and above all else, the correct answer to everything is ALWAYS 'Yes, dear'. Believe me, Darren learnt that very early in the piece!!!!😂 He was a bit hard to train, but a rolled

up newspaper worked wonders!🤣

[Ozwoody]

Hi Neil

 

In my former life as a working man, I was an engineer, on my bum at a computer, designing fire and plumbing systems. how ever I always wanted to work with my hands, so when we needed to do some renovations, I did the engineers thing, rule book in left hand and hammer in right and proceeded to figure out how to do as I went, I learnt enough to know when it came to the major reno, of raising the house and extending that it was not that difficult to do, you get a builder into do it.😁

 

But I do do quite a bit of wood work these days, and love getting into my shed and make things.

 

But don't ask me to free hand draw something or paint, I'm completely inept at them.

And in the interest every ones ears, for goodness sake don't ask me to do anything musical.🤣

I leave that to my wife who excels at both.

 

We all have our talents, some are good at one thing others at another.

My main talent seems to be in getting into trouble.😱

 

However with wood I seem to have small gift, see some below.

 

 

[ceeceeDee]

4 minutes ago, Ozwoody said:

Hi Neil

 

In my former life as a working man, I was an engineer, on my bum at a computer, designing fire and plumbing systems. how ever I always wanted to work with my hands, so when we needed to do some renovations, I did the engineers thing, rule book in left hand and hammer in right and proceeded to figure out how to do as I went, I learnt enough to know when it came to the major reno, of raising the house and extending that it was not that difficult to do, you get a builder into do it.😁

 

But I do do quite a bit of wood work these days, and love getting into my shed and make things.

 

But don't ask me to free hand draw something or paint, I'm completely inept at them.

And in the interest every ones ears, for goodness sake don't ask me to do anything musical.🤣

I leave that to my wife who excels at both.

 

We all have our talents, some are good at one thing others at another.

My main talent seems to be in getting into trouble.😱

 

However with wood I seem to have small gift, see some below.

 

 

Oh, wow! They're awesome!!!!

[Ozwoody]

3 minutes ago, ceeceeDee said:

LOVE it John.😆 BTW you nailed the husband's handbook. Don't even attempt to speak to wife until

she has had her morning caffeine and above all else, the correct answer to everything is ALWAYS 'Yes, dear'. Believe me, Darren learnt that very early in the piece!!!!😂 He was a bit hard to train, but a rolled

up newspaper worked wonders!🤣

Ohh I've had a very similar training. I love my wife to death, but sometimes I can test her a little too much.

People say you married your wife for her looks, can I say not for some of the looks I get from time to time.🤣

[Ozwoody]

2 minutes ago, ceeceeDee said:

Oh, wow! They're awesome!!!!

Thanks

The pedestal table I made last year for our wedding anniversary. The coin in the middle is an English half crown.

The crib board I made for a sister-in-law.

[Ozwoody]

5 hours ago, Cbtours said:

I think it sounds like a pretty unique set of circumstances you get to have there 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Surely I'm not the only klutz left in the world, many years ago I worked in a metal works factory, one of my jobs was to cut strips of metal 4 inch's wide.

I would mark the sheet off at at 4 inch points, slide into the guillotine press pedal and hay presto 4 inch strip, continue to next mark and press again, sweet A?

 

Then I got the bright idea why mark the sheet at all, all I need to do is slide it into 4 inch mark, cut, slide into 8 inch mark, cut, slide into 12 inch mark, cut.

Do you see where this is going??

Into 4 inch rulers actually!!!😬

Edited January 12 by Ozwoody

[ceeceeDee]

Darren builds awesome theatre sets (he's won awards for them). Unfortunately all I end up with are photos and memories as I can't bring them home. If he builds a staircase on stage it's rock solid. Doesn't move an inch even with several cast members charging up and down it and the English drawing room he did for one of my shows was so beautiful that I nearly cried when we had to pull it down at the end of the play's run.