Why Do Some Insist Solo Cruisers Are Lonely and Pathetic

[April7901]

I'm so fascinated by this thread... My first (and only, so far) cruise was by myself to the Bahamas this past November on NCL. That said - I went on vacation specifically to get away from people. I truly don't think I actually carried on a conversation with ANYone - except, perhaps, my manicurist in the spa - until the third day of a four-day cruise, and even then, it was only a brief conversation as we waited our turn for parasailing.

 

I truly did not notice any looks or comments. The staff were all very kind, in all the restaurants. I had no troubles with tables or chairs, was always seated in reasonable locations, and generally had a good experience. I clearly wasn't paying any attention to the others on the ship :)

 

My (so far) next cruise is with two of my aunts, so it will undoubtedly be very, very different. I may still try and escape this fall by myself, though.

 

Otherwise - I have nearly always traveled alone. Much of my travel has been for concerts, and I've met up with folk from online upon arrival, but typically spend much of my time exploring on my own. The one trip I did take with a friend/boyfriend/whatever was far less enjoyable what with all the compromising on activities and bedtimes and such.

 

As far as I'm concerned... I will stick with traveling alone, thank you very much :)

[Lard Greystoke]

Logically, if you were really "lonely and pathetic", the last thing you would do is book a cruise, which involves energy, planning, positive attitude, and capacity to enjoy life.

[AmoMondo]

The thing is, I really, really don't mind being by myself. I'm very excited about the possibility of a solo cruise where I don't have to worry that I won't get to do some of the things I want to do because the other person has no interest in it. I don't have to try to stay awake for fear that my snoring will bother the other person, which means that I have to go back to the stateroom to nap during the day. I think this will be freedom at its best!

 

 

That is exactly how I feel. Up until my last cruise I'd done 2 with a friend and 6 on my own. My cousin had been going on for a while that she wanted to try a cruise, so it seemed daft not to go with her and also avoid the 100% supplement for being on my own. My family and friends were delighted that I was going to have company rather than make do on my own. As it turned outI didn't have half as much fun as I normally do on my own. We just wanted to do different things and I felt i was always compromising what i was doing and where i was going rather than just doing what I wanted all the time. Still had a good time but there were definitely points every day when i wished I was back to being on my own again. Looking forward to my next one which will be 20 days by myself.

 

Think part of the problem is that non solos think that lonely=alone when in fact they are very differnt things. I'm often alone but rarely lonely.

[jolivia]

Logically, if you were really "lonely and pathetic", the last thing you would do is book a cruise, which involves energy, planning, positive attitude, and capacity to enjoy life.

You got that right! Lard

[cruisininva]

Sometimes you don't even need to be crusing solo to get rude comments . . . I was on a hosted singles cruise a few years ago. The company that organizes it gives us all name bead necklaces, which makes it easy to find others in our group. But while waiting to get off the ship in port, the woman in front of me in line said to her kids, "Stay away from the people wearing those necklaces!!" I felt like saying, "Lady, we're single -- not child molesters!!" Geez -- some people!:confused:

 

Christine

[cherylroslyn]

If I had a solo experience on Princess like what was mentioned, I would feel the same way. But, I've travelled solo on Princess twice (HAL once) and my experience was much different. I had a great time on Princess and although I don't have another cruise planned right now, I'm 95% sure my next solo cruise will be on Princess.

 

btw...my solo cruises were before they implemented the 2 cruise credit rule. I'm so looking forward to getting more credits on my next cruise.

What is the two cruise credit rule...I keep seeing it referred to here but I am not familiar with it. Thanks

[BlueC5Kitten]

Quite an interesting thread...I have often sailed solo and only once had any sort of concern expressed by either staff or other cruisers. The cabin steward was a little surprised when I showed up alone for a cruise on which I had been upgraded from a Balcony to a Suite. It was quite a nice feeling having all of that space to myself!

 

As for those who prefer to label solo travelers as lonely and/or pathetic...they might want to consider the true definitions of those words while looking at themselves under the magnifying glass. Why do those who are traveling with a spouse or group feel the need to be overly critical of those who don't require the social crutch that perhaps is their travel partner?

[Moondawgie]

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread.

 

I guess I've been lucky (or possibly intimidating) because people I met while on board (or land tours) were never rude to me. The only complaint I had (and put it on my comment card) is when the host/hostess is getting ready to seat you at open seating, they always say, "just one?" and I never know what to say. No, not just one! It's me!:D

 

Lois, I love your attitude ... among others here on this thread. I especially like the women who are married and find it "important" to be who they are! Bravo/Brava people!

[gxchan]

What is the two cruise credit rule...I keep seeing it referred to here but I am not familiar with it. Thanks

 

Princess gives two cruise credits to solo cruisers because they pay double.

[Lois R]

Hi, thanks for your kind words:)

I am who I am:).....who said that...Dr Seuss? Green Eggs and Ham...

Sam I am:D

Seriously, thanks.....I have been on my own for a very long time.

My life is pretty good and thankfully I have a good job. Been with

the same company almost 19 years and so I get a good bit of

vacation time. Cruising is just the best buy over anything

else for me and thankfully I really do enjoy my own company

so going solo on a cruise is a peice of cake:)

Maybe we will meet on the high seas one day.

[teach2travel]

Logically, if you were really "lonely and pathetic", the last thing you would do is book a cruise, which involves energy, planning, positive attitude, and capacity to enjoy life.

 

 

Well said, Lord Greystoke!

 

:)

[3Fluffies]

I've wondered about these things myself. I always figured my first cruise would be solo, since nobody in my immediate family was interested in cruising and I am perpetually (and happily) single.

 

As it happened, my first cruise last week was with a HUGE group, including my best friend as cabinmate, and while I enjoyed it, it's unlikely that the two of us will always be able to coordinate schedules (we live in different states with very different time demands at work). And I don't intend to wait two years until the next big group trip to cruise again!

 

I also frequently dine solo, and have run across some rude folks and some just plain weirdos about being alone in a public place.

 

If I was being harassed by other passengers, I'd definitely ask the waiters or staff to relocate me at dinner (I've fallen in love with NCL, so that shouldn't be too difficult thanks to their "freestyle" format.) As it happened, I did end up having dinner and brunch alone once or twice on my group cruise, and had a great time with the strangers - once I even got a table for one when I arrived way off-peak!

 

If the staff makes comments, you bet your bippie I'll be having a polite-but-firm chat with the management on the cruise, as well as sending a letter afterwards.

 

We solos have every right to the same experience as groups and couples, particularly when we pay extra to enjoy those things. Once we've paid our money, we are entitled to the same courtesies as everybody else, and we have every right to assert ourselves (politely) if someone says otherwise. I hope it's not necessary, but I will.

[cruisequeen76]

I am so glad I stumbled upon this post because I LOVE cruising alone! I have never had anyone on board any ship I've been on treat me badly or say anything rude to me about traveling alone. I 've actually had quite the opposite experience. I have had so many invites to join people on excrusions, dinner, etc. that I actually have had to turn down a lot of offers. I have made life long friends and keep in touch with lots of people I've met on board.

 

Now......I have heard lots of snickering and derrogatory remarks from "friends," co-workers, aquaintances and clients regarding the subject of me cruising alone. I think it's all based on jealousy that they aren't brave enought to travel alone and that they aren't as financially fortunate as I am to afford to cruise twice a year by myself. I consider jealousy to be flattering, and I don't owe anyone an explanation as to how I travel or how often I travel. If I waited for someone else to always join me on my travels, I'd be sitting at home my entire life. You can't count on others to make you happy. You have to do what feels right to you.

 

God bless you all, and keep traveling solo! Don't let anything or anyone hold you back!

[jchiefs13]

Feel sorry for them that their lives will be so empty when the sad day comes that they lose their significant others. I wish it on no one and would love to find my perfect pair - but I refuse to sit and not see the world, meet wonderful people, and have a complete and utter friggin blast (on my own dollar - sista has a job!) just because I'm not connected at the hip w/ someone.

 

I don't think I ever smiled as big as the day I found the completely empty part of the beach on the back side of cococay on my solo cruise and fell asleep. Of course, I wasn't smiling when the sunburn got crusty :)

 

Judy

[kitty9]

After reading all the stories on this thread, I just got to thinking about the treatment of solos by crew members. Then I remembered a land trip I took a few years back, a 30 day tour of Asia, that included many places where most people don't seem to visit, like Nepal, Burma, Bangledesh and Cambodia. Perhaps the reason we solos are looked upon so differently is because of cultural differences? After a few days of getting a lot of strange looks and a number of questions of where my husband was, I finally had to make up a story that my husband was dead and I was traveling to help my sadness. THIS is what they seemed to understand.

 

Many cultures in that area of the world, have no understanding of a woman with no man. And seeing how cruise ships have hired more and more from those cultures, perhaps those ideas of women and men are still ingrained. I remember my guide in Nepal who was quite educated, explaining to me that single women who've never married, and are older than age 25 are not understood.

 

While this doesn't excuse the nasty comments made by Westerners, it might explain why we solo women are looked at as "strange" by other cultures.

 

The only explanations I have for our fellow Westerners is that either they feel threatened by solo women or they are just jealous of our independence. I know that there are a lot of married women out there who are terrified that some smart, attractive independent woman will come along and hit on their man. I know for me, that's the farthest thing from my mind when I cruise. But this insecurity is quite telling, especially in social situations, including travel. And, I also know that a number of my married friends are quite jealous of my ability to travel and go off on my own, without having to worry about the many things that married women have to worry about.

 

So I guess in many ways I feel quite lucky in my personal situation. I'm not lonely as I have friends and family, and I'm not pathetic when I choose to travel alone. If I didn't, I never would have been on a safari in Africa, held a koala in Australia, ridden an elephant in Nepal, seen the Taj Mahal, been to the top of the earth in the Arctic or watched baby penguins being born in Chile. There's no way on earth I would trade those life experiences for anything.

[Lois R]

Hey Darcie:)

This paragraph of yours sums it::D

"So I guess in many ways I feel quite lucky in my personal situation. I'm not lonely as I have friends and family, and I'm not pathetic when I choose to travel alone".

 

You have been to many places I have yet to visit....in your next

sentence....India, Africa, The Arctic.....you are my idol:)

I haven't even been able to sail the Med or Europe yet......:eek:

But my feelings mimic yours......pathetic? I think not!

I still hope one day we will eventually sail together:)

[cruisemom42]

If I had a solo experience on Princess like what was mentioned, I would feel the same way. But, I've travelled solo on Princess twice (HAL once) and my experience was much different. I had a great time on Princess and although I don't have another cruise planned right now, I'm 95% sure my next solo cruise will be on Princess.

 

btw...my solo cruises were before they implemented the 2 cruise credit rule. I'm so looking forward to getting more credits on my next cruise.

 

I have to agree. Whether I'm solo or cruising with my son, I almost always dine alone in the MDR (he likes the buffet and doesn't like to dress up). I have NEVER had any "attitude" from the staff regarding seating (I always ask to share a table), dining, or anything else. In addition, I've never gotten any 'tude from diners either.

 

Only once was I seated at a godawful table where the woman spewed intolerances the whole dinner at any group that was religiously or politically different from her own. Funny thing is, there was another woman dining solo at the table as well and we really bonded afterward in our amazement at this crazy person! (The crazy woman did not, however, insult solo cruisers, amazingly....:rolleyes:)

 

I see more and more passengers traveling solo on cruises, but I think there were a fair number even "way back". I've never seen staff be anything but courteous to any passenger traveling alone. Maybe I'm just naive, but cruising seems to be one of the more solo-friendly types of travel, and I haven't noticed any significant differences in treatment among the lines I've sailed. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend Princess (especially with the two solo credits!).

 

As for the person who posts about pitying singles.....well, I just shake my head. Nothing I say is going to change her mind. It's just sad that she has such limited horizons. I hope that if she ever finds herself in that situation, she'll be able to overcome her attitude and not sit around at home feeling sorry for herself.

[nannyd43]

I just happened on this board and was quite surprised at alot of the posts. I am taking my first cruise ever next month to Alaska. I am traveling by myself, my husband passed away last March. Do I wish he was here to go with me, well yes. But I am really looking forward to the trip by myself. I think it will be very relaxing. I can do what I want when I get ready to do it. If I make new friends thats great, if I don't I will enjoy my own company and Gods beautiful scenery. And I certainly hope no one feels sorry for me. If I didn't want to travel by myself, I would stay home. Dee

[kitty9]

My condolences on your loss, Dee. You will enjoy your cruise and make many new memories. This adventure will open a new world for you, and hopefully you'll enjoy this cruise so much that you'll become a member of our very special solo cruising club.

[Annieeee]

I just happened on this board and was quite surprised at alot of the posts. I am taking my first cruise ever next month to Alaska. I am traveling by myself, my husband passed away last March. Do I wish he was here to go with me, well yes. But I am really looking forward to the trip by myself. I think it will be very relaxing. I can do what I want when I get ready to do it. If I make new friends thats great, if I don't I will enjoy my own company and Gods beautiful scenery. And I certainly hope no one feels sorry for me. If I didn't want to travel by myself, I would stay home. Dee

 

 

Dee, my condolences on your recent loss.

 

On cruising alone, some people don't have the self confidence that it takes to cruise alone, nothing wrong with that, some can, other's can't. . From reading your post, I think you have what it takes. I hope you post when you return and let us know how it went.

 

I have cruised alone and absolutely enjoyed it. I can do what I want, when I want and IF I want. It simple does not matter to me if people think I am lonely, or if they feel sorry for me, actually I am having too much of a great time to even notice what others think.

 

I hope you have a wonderful time.

 

Annieeee

[nseagirl]

Hello all! I'm new on this discussion.

I have a daughter who is hoping to conceive soon so I have to make sure that the end of April is clear, then I'm going to find a 4 or 5 day out of somewhere in Fl and BOOK IT! No, my friends don't get it! Oh well!:D

 

Hope you don't mind if I hang around here!:)

 

Well, I went ahead and booked it and guess what?? My daughter called yesterday to tell me that she's pregnant and due in April! AND, it was the OTHER daughter! Go figure!

[chachi]

I have not noticed it on this board, but on my only solo cruise yes. Everyone, including the staff, made me feel pathetic for going alone. I still enjoyed myself though.

 

Why is it that on every thread that asks about solo cruising, there's always someone who has to come on and post that it's not worth it to cruise solo, that you need to share with someone, anyone, and if you don't, you're lonely and pathetic. There's one very frequent poster on CC that comes on to the Ask a Cruise Question board or the First Time Cruiser board, and if the question has to do with cruising solo, he/she always makes a snide comment about solos looking so sad and lonely and that he/she cannot imagine taking a solo cruise because all things on a cruise demand that it be shared to be worthwhile.

 

So tell me, do all of you solos get this vibe from others when you cruise solo? Do other cruisers make you feel pathetic? Do they say they feel sorry for you because you don't have anyone to share the cruise with?

 

I know for me, if I had the attitude that you need a cruising partner to have a fun and successful cruise, I'd be sitting home. As it is, if that were my attitude, I'd never have seen the Taj Mahal, gone on an African Safari, did the tango in Buenos Aires, held a koala bear in Sydney or shopped til I dropped in Hong Kong, Dubai and London.

[Lois R]

I have not noticed it on this board, but on my only solo cruise yes. Everyone, including the staff, made me feel pathetic for going alone. I still enjoyed myself though.

 

WOW...I am really sorry to hear this:(....it has never happened to me.

The staff and crew on all of my sailings have made me feel

VERY welcomed:D...each time I sail I always get wonderful and

happy greetings from them.:)

Sounds like the staff you encountered had NO PEOPLE SKILLS

at all:mad:.....and they should not be dealing with the public....especially

the public who is essentially paying their salaries:rolleyes:

[DizzyDallasDi]

I have not noticed it on this board, but on my only solo cruise yes. Everyone, including the staff, made me feel pathetic for going alone. I still enjoyed myself though.

 

Let me just offer this ray of hope...no one can make you feel anything you don't want to feel. If you have a happy attitude and a smile on your face, you will receive the same from those you encounter. I'm glad to hear you enjoyed your cruise in spite of the way you felt.

 

Diane

[yellowbird23]

Let me just offer this ray of hope...no one can make you feel anything you don't want to feel. If you have a happy attitude and a smile on your face, you will receive the same from those you encounter. I'm glad to hear you enjoyed your cruise in spite of the way you felt.

 

Diane

Well said Diane. I have never been treated differently on any of my solo cruises. Like anything in life, you make the most of your experience and it is up to you to make you and you only. I have met some of the most wonderful people, including stewards, etc. on my cruises.