Missing a week of college as a freshman?

[pe4all]

DD had a lecture class with 300 students her freshman year. (calculus) They used clickers (sensios?) to answer questions. The professor took attendence and watched class participation and personal understanding of the info from the amount of correct "clicks" that you gave during that class. (it was somehow immediately printed up on his laptop during class) Those students who were not there could not make up the quizzes unless they had a dr.'s note. They had to get class notes from someone in the class. People tried to give their clickers to friends if they didn't want to attend a session, but somehow the professor knew if a click was coming from a different seat location -how, we never figured it out. So people who did great on their tests got killed when their class attendance/participation portion was added in! And I would then have killed dd for missing classes, as we pay out of state tuition, and it is very, very expensive. :p

[nytraveller53]

Don't do it Mahalo, it sends the message that college doesn't matter as much as a cruise, and that's not a good message to send to an 18yo.

^^Agree

[goose30]

Forget about how good a student she might be, what her courses are, what her professors might think. It is also about commitment (a big part) to being in school and sticking to your choices. If she or her mother does not have commitment to education she should not be in college.

 

The mother seems reluctant to even ask the daughter about the cruise. Maybe she will not want to go. Just because she will be in the "forgotten" 18-20 year old range ( I don't think it is so forgotten) is no reason to give up the commitment to college.

[BratDet]

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/27/education/27colleges.html?_r=1

 

Interesting article on stress levels in college freshman and their mental health.

 

I say go BEFORE the semester starts. Even if it is all planned out what she is taking...courses get cancelled and she could end up with the most particular professor from hell.

 

You said it is YOUR last chance to cruise together with her....

 

so go early and do not impact HER COLLEGE ACADEMICS....

 

Be a mom and not her friend

 

if you do go...and her grades suffer...(even if not directly cruise related)

you gotta know being on the cruise will be the excuse...

 

If she was a sophomore and used to the whole college pacing....it would be easier to say...take her....but freshman year is a huge adjustment....

 

Yep- if you take her...it might all work out fine & I hope it does...but why take that risk to her college attendance?

 

Good luck!

 

Bernadette

[Laurie S.]

Absolutely not! That is one of the worst times to miss that much college. She risks way too much to do that. Wait and cruise over a break. I can't believe people here are saying it's okay, it just amazes me.

[JennLuvs2Cruise]

I don't think it would be a good idea at all. It's not in the best interest of your daughter. Her education & first semester in college is a little more important than vacation. And that is exactly how professors will look at it.

 

I'm a college student & could never take a week off, unless I planned on dropping my classes after I return. Attendance is extremely important, students fall behind quickly in college if they miss classes. Most professors will not allow make ups for quizzes, tests or labs. I would also fear that if your daughter misses a week from college, she might not view college as a priority or understand how important it is. College is very different from high school. I would just wait until she is on vacation, or go this summer before she starts.

[The4Cruisers]

I have no problem with a student taking a week off as long as there is nothing major happening during that time (exam, group project, etc.) I've earned an MBA, so I've "been there" too. :cool:

 

However, I could not put myself in their shoes and make the call for them. I would probably offer a cruise as the gift and allow the student to choose between the week you have in mind or another agreeable week when they are in break. :)

Edited April 2, 2011 by The4Cruisers

[nanuak]

I was 17 when I entered as a freshman, and took advanced classes all through high school; but nothing prepared me for college life or living in a dorm (mandatory). I carried 21 hours my first semester, and there was no way I could have caught up if I had gone on a weeks vacation during that semester.

 

I agree with the others, pick an earlier time to cruise or during one of the semester breaks.

[Ready 2 Go]

Aloha,

 

I am thinking of surprising my daughter with a 7 day cruise for her 18th birthday. The problem is that she starts college as a freshman this August. The cruise would be at the end of October, so two months into the semester, and not yet near finals. I never got to go to college, and this is my first child going, so I am not sure how the teachers will react. Are they usually understanding? Will they let her make up missed work? Any suggestions? Thanks for your help!

 

Mahalo.

 

I honestly would wait for a break or do it before semester starts. October is usually pretty close to mid term exams. A time when there are often hefty papers due and a lot of studying to be done. The first year can be tough in just adjusting to college life. Missing a week of instruction may really set her back.

[DeaverTex]

Pick a different date. Too many universities have attendance policies and a number of professors have their own policies that penalize the student for missed classes. It makes no difference if the absences are due to personal choice, illness, or whatever. X number = Y reduction in grade, regardless of what your work looks like and how you do n exams.

 

Qualifying experience: Undergraduate who missed WAY too much cllass

Post-bac student who frightened professors

Grad student (Yay Baylor!) who finished early

 

There is a lot of good advice in this thread, but your daughter shouldn't miss class unless there is absolutely no alternative. It can't always be made up, even if the prof is agreeable.

[Swampbabe]

I was 17 when I entered as a freshman, and took advanced classes all through high school; but nothing prepared me for college life or living in a dorm (mandatory). I carried 21 hours my first semester, and there was no way I could have caught up if I had gone on a weeks vacation during that semester.

 

I agree with the others, pick an earlier time to cruise or during one of the semester breaks.

 

Slightly OT, but what advisor allowed you to carry that many hours as a freshman? :eek:

[donaldsc]

I would not do it w/o asking her first. I know that this will ruin the surprise but she will have a better idea of whether she wants to or should miss a week of school.

 

DON

[nanlou]

I agree with the others who say that this is highly context dependent - which school, which classes, which professor, labs vs. lectures, what sort of student your DD is, etc.

 

That said ... I teach at a university and advise first year students. The first month and a half of college seems super easy to new students. In contrast to high school, when students spend 30+ hours per week in classrooms, college students are usually only in the classroom for 15 hours per week. In high school there are usually daily homework assignments, whereas many college classrooms do NOT have assigned homework. First year students haven't yet figured out that they are supposed to be doing reading and studying on their own, even when there are no homework assignments. The first round of exams is when "stuff" hits the fan for many of these 1st year, 1st semester students. Our university provides 1st year students with mid-semester progress reports (from instructors in each class), and right around one-half of all students receive at least one "unsatisfactory" report, indicating that they are NOT passing at least one class (many of those students receive multiple 'U' reports ... my experience has been that around 1/3 of first year students whom I advise receive 3+ unsatisfactory reports). This is a wake-up call, and (some) students finally realize that they need to buckle down if they want to turn things around. In my opinion, taking a student out of college for a full week at this time isn't a very good idea.

 

(Editing to add that many students who receive unsatisfactory progress reports are genuinely surprised to learn that they were not passing. As I said, everything seemed easy to them up until the point that they actually took exams. Ignorance is bliss....)

Edited April 2, 2011 by nanlou

[DEBnGAB]

I see ton of great advice here already posted. But FWIW, I would wait until they are on break. My DD is a Freshman Pre-Med at Seattle University..they are on the quarter system so a week off would be HUGE in terms of missed work.

 

Her birthday falls in Nov and as much as I'd like to take her on a trip for her 21st birthday ON her birthday 2 years from now, she cannot miss school for that.

[chipmaster]

Always a controversal topic :D

 

Wow surprise DD, I want to treat you to a special treat, skip school for it, makes no sense to me. Why not be a good and generious parent and treat her to something in the summer?

 

At the age of 18 kids are old enough to appreciate the intent of things. Why not be smarter and show her the priorities in life! Do it in the summer prior to school starting!

 

I'm sure ton of replys about people that missed school and turned out great, and other stories about how a week missed is not big deal. There is more to that as life, your behavior reflects value and priorities and how you choose them! If decisions are made only based on ramifications than anything goes, than why follow rules, values, norms ? ;)

 

Aloha,

 

I am thinking of surprising my daughter with a 7 day cruise for her 18th birthday. The problem is that she starts college as a freshman this August. The cruise would be at the end of October, so two months into the semester, and not yet near finals. I never got to go to college, and this is my first child going, so I am not sure how the teachers will react. Are they usually understanding? Will they let her make up missed work? Any suggestions? Thanks for your help!

 

Mahalo.

[SunniLicious]

I have a BS, an MS, and an MD. I say NO WAY. She can't miss a week, not even as a freshman. Mid-October = middle of the semester = midterm exams. College students get a great long January break. Plan the trip then.

[Shelbyjane56]

Also what kind of classes are they, if they are hands on like music, arts (acting) then no you will not be able to miss, even though the homework will be on the web in most cases, like blackboard.

 

You and her could talk to her advisor, to make the decission.

 

 

You are suggesting that a freshman go with her mom to make the decision with her advisor!!! I asked our daughter who will be finishing up her freshman year the early part of May, division 1 school, she is also on the soccer team. She said no way would she want myself or her dad (my husband) to go talk to her advisor. Knock on the head...You daughter is expected to take care of problems themselves, its called growing up and learning...I also asked daughter what she would do...and she said the best thing (for her as soccer practice starts again not too much later than after the end of freshman year} she said take me on a cruise when I graduate! She said to tell the moms who think they should get involved, its time they grow up and take care of whatever they want to do. Her college has limits to how many days you can miss..and going on a cruise would put her over no doubt

[MszKitty]

I agree with all those that say don't do it. Both my daughters were in all honors/AP classes in high school and breezed through high school, but those first few months of college was challenging. Actually, the whole year was tough...being on their own, away from home...being 100% responsible for everything...so many things to take in. Taking her away for a week, just adds to the stress.

 

Even if she gets "permission" to miss classes and she is able to do some work while on the cruise, what kind of vacation will it be if she has to spend a lot of time working on her school work? And IF she is able to turn in papers electronically, think about the additional cost, and the time she will have to spend using the ship's slow internet access. Not really a great vacation IMO.

 

Also, you said you want to take her while she's still eligible to go into the teen club. I would think there probably won't be as many teens onboard in October because they will also be in school.

[tinlizzy]

My son had an appendectomy in the Fall of his freshman year at college and missed a week. He's just finishing his sophmore year and still talks about how stressful missing that week was. Trying to make things up and get caught up was nearly impossible.

 

I'll agree with the majority and hope you pick a different time. We went on a cruise in May last year and will again this May - lots of college aged kids squeezing in a family vacation between school and starting their summer jobs.

Edited April 2, 2011 by tinlizzy

[librarymom]

Does anyone know if the teen club operates in October? It would be awful to make this decision and then discover they are combining all the ages because there are so few kids. What college freshman wants to hang out with 13 year olds.

[zqvol]

Aloha,

 

I am thinking of surprising my daughter with a 7 day cruise for her 18th birthday. The problem is that she starts college as a freshman this August. The cruise would be at the end of October, so two months into the semester, and not yet near finals. I never got to go to college, and this is my first child going, so I am not sure how the teachers will react. Are they usually understanding? Will they let her make up missed work? Any suggestions? Thanks for your help!

 

Mahalo.

 

As a professor I can tell you that you won't know how people react until the semester begins. Some faculty members have attendance policies others don't. My students are not to turn in work late, without regard to why it is late. It is available to them online and they can do it wherever they are located. . You happen to be hitting right at mid term which is a horrible time to leave.

 

I would not suggest missing a week in the middle of a semester.

[drsb]

Another couple of points: If your daughter has any lab classes, the classwork and exams might be able to be made up, but usually it is not easy to make up a lab.

 

Or, if she is involved in a group project, it might not be fair to the rest of the group to not have her there participating that week.

 

I won't say do it or don't do it, because I do not know what she will be studying, what her classes will be or what the expectations of the school are concerning attendance. But since she hasn't started school yet, you probably don't know the answers to some of these questions either.

 

Now for anther comment you made. I cannot imagine why this would be the last cruise your daughter would take with you. We have cruised as a family after my first son had graduated college and my second was on Thanksgiving break. My second son graduates this May and is moving to Seattle for a job. We look forward to taking a family cruise to Alaska next summer. If you are close, there is no reason to think that she won't vacation with you again.

[room010]

Would you consider giving her an early birthday present and going just before school starts? The last couple of weeks in August actually have some pretty good prices. Our son will be going with us on the Valor on the week before his classes (sophomore) begin. The only bad part is that on disembarkation day I will have to drive him up to school immediately after getting home from the cruise.

 

This would seem the most common sense and obvious solution? Sure it will mean missing The Big Day at sea but, seriously, she's an adult; I'm sure she will deal with it. It won't be long before she's happy to quietly forget ALL birthdays ;)

 

As for the Teen Club - most college students I know wouldn't be seen DEAD in there. It's so, like, totally High School.

Edited April 2, 2011 by room010

[CollegeCruizer11]

I would not recommend the trip. I wouldn't even ask your daughter whether or not she wanted to go. She has no idea how stressful and difficult her first semester will be because she hasn't experienced anything like it. I'm a senior in college, less than a month from graduation, so I am speaking from experience. My family is going to Orlando at the end of August, and I would love to go. However, I had to turn down the trip because I would miss 2 days of my first month of law school.

 

Part of growing up is realizing that business comes before pleasure. I would hate for your daughter to have to learn that lesson while she is scrambling to catch up on schoolwork after a cruise.

[CanWeGoYet?]

 

Now for anther comment you made. I cannot imagine why this would be the last cruise your daughter would take with you. We have cruised as a family after my first son had graduated college and my second was on Thanksgiving break. My second son graduates this May and is moving to Seattle for a job. We look forward to taking a family cruise to Alaska next summer. If you are close, there is no reason to think that she won't vacation with you again.

 

I wondered about this too. My son and I still take vacations together, he is in his early 20s. And I went on many many vacations with my parents after I had left home. We vacationed together for the rest of their lives,I took them on a cruise for their 50th anniversary.