Pet Guilt

[LUV2CRUZalso]

We also feel a bit of guilt whenever we have to leave the dog(s). We have had dalmatians for 27 years and they have been very much a part of the family.

We always have a house/dog sitter which gives us some peace. We always still have the concern that the dog may not get the same attention as when we are home..... but heh, life goes on and it is still preferable (to us), than placing her in a kennel.

Happy Cruising!!!!! Denny (& Karen):rolleyes::p

[pomme]

I understand how you feel! I'm on day two of a twenty three day trip. The best advice I can give is just find a reliable and trustworthy sitter or kennel. I am extremely thankful to have my DH at home with our german shepard this time around. He works out of town sometimes on short notice, and in the case he has to leave our neighbours will watch the dog. They have a snotty dog that is a real princess, so they really enjoy taking care of our "real dog" as they like to say! I am very lucky to have that support, as well as family close by with young children that also always have an open door.

 

Obviously a parrot is slightly more specialized, but I think that will work in your favor! Not many people have large birds, but those that do LOVE them which makes me think once you find someone solid, you will be set for life!

[RuthC]

I guess I must feel some guilt about leaving my kitty, as I don't normally take cruises more than 35 days. When I add in travel days, and pre-cruise, that's a long time to be gone---at least I think the cat thinks that way.

She stays in her own home, though, with her own familiar things, and that makes it easier for me to take. My neighbor comes in twice a day to change her food/water, and brush her. And, after all, she's a cat. She sleeps and sleeps and sleeps, even when I'm home with her.

I have a question to add to the first. This is probably more for cat owners, but does your pet punish you when you get home?

 

One of our cats used to shun us. If I spoke to her, she'd turn her head away. If I went to pet her, she'd walk away. This would last a few days, and then she'd be back to normal.

 

The next cat was the opposite. She glued herself to me after I'd been away. "Oh please please please don't go away again."

That totally depends on how long I'm gone.

When I leave for a few days, the attitude is something like "Oh, you're back. OK, fine. "

If I take a cruise in the 7-10 day range, that's when I get "The Punishment" upon return. She's mad, and lets me know it. She won't come to me, walks past me with her head turned, refuses to have anything to do with me for about 3-5 days.

But when I take my usual long cruises, then it's soooo different!

When I come back from a long cruise it's "OMG! Where have you been??? I'm so mad at you, but I was so worried, and I want to run, run, run, and cuddle, cuddle, cuddle and I am not going to let you out of my sight!"

Then, she sleeps with me all night, every night, for several days. She insists on sitting on my lap often during the day.

Takes about 5 days for everything to get back to normal.

[michmike]

The beauty of having a cat. He enjoys the precruise days stretching out in our suitcases. While we are gone, our housekeeper comes in every other day and checks on him and makes sure he has fresh food and water and plays w/ him a bit.

 

On our return we usually get a look that says "oh.. so you're back..." and then he patiently waits for the suitcases to be open so he can find a prime spot for a nap.

 

MIGHT consider a dog again once we are retired, but after 13 years w/o one, a cat sure seems more suited to our life style

[PathfinderEss]

Yes I feel guilt when I go on vacation but it doesn't slow down my cruising habit. I have a dog and some birds. I have a pet sitter who comes in but its not like me being there 24/7.

[JulesBee]

I get this totally! We have an 8 month old puppy (happily displayed in the upper left corner :)). He is definitely still a puppy, but he is about 85 pounds and a beast!

 

I am so excited about the cruise we are taking, but also so concerned about how it's going to be for 'Charlie' while we're gone. He's such a handful that he's going to stay with our trainer. I know he'll be well cared for...it's the trainer I'm worried about. :o

 

My DD says that maybe after a week with the trainer we'll come back to a well-behaved, calm dog. LOL...don't think so.

[kazu]

We always had a dog when I was a kid, and when we went on vacation, usually no more than a week, we boarded the dog at a good kennel. We never felt guilty. The dog smelled all those other doggy smells and it was like, "Huh? Oh yeah, goodbye, have a nice time, where are the other dogs?"

 

Like KK, we never got a dog when we both worked, I would want an airedale, big active terrier, and leaving a dog like that alone all day wasn't right. Plus, I didn't want to get home, tired, and have the dog ready for exercise and play.

 

One day a skinny hungry cat came into the yard, and we've had a succession of cats since then. Usually we leave our cat with my father. He loves having the cat for company, and she settles in right away. He has strict rules about how many treats she may have, so she comes home at the same weight. If Dad travels with us, we leave the cat at home and a friend comes in twice a day to feed her and visit (if she bothers to show up to greet them). I do feel a little guilt then because she's alone. But if she's with Dad, I know she's OK. Either way, we call home from ports when we're cruising to catch up on how everyone is.

 

LOP's advice is good. I've never thought to warn the vet we'd be away. Our family has used the same practice forever, so they'd know Dad. He'd pay the bills (or the practice would probably bill us later, since we're longtime customers), and we'd sort that out later.

 

One additional piece of advice for pet owners. If you're going to board your animal(s), do a short test to see how they react to the kennel. Most animals are fine, but sometimes they refuse to eat or develop neurotic behaviors. It could be your pet, it could be the kennel. Most kennels are good, but I've heard stories...

Very good advice indeed. Most good kennels will ask you to bring your animal for a visit to get to know them and see how they react. As well, there is nothing wrong with leaving your pet for a couple of days for a 'test' run and coming back to see how things are going.

 

The best way to find a good kennel is word of mouth by dog owners/cat owners who you know treat their animals well. These people are pretty fussy - and have done a lot of leg work themselves.:)

[ariawoman]

I have a question to add to the first. This is probably more for cat owners, but does your pet punish you when you get home?

 

One of our cats used to shun us. If I spoke to her, she'd turn her head away. If I went to pet her, she'd walk away. This would last a few days, and then she'd be back to normal.

 

The next cat was the opposite. She glued herself to me after I'd been away. "Oh please please please don't go away again."

 

This appears to be mostly a FEMALE cat trait. I've had boys that don't do this, but my current female does it. I joke with friends that it's "1 hour per day that I'm gone, so if my vacation is 14 days, it's 14 hours". Last year however, she was much better with me, she came out of hiding after only a few hours. I'm not sure if that's because she was alone that day longer as I got home at like 10pm as opposed to my usual mid afternoon and my mom was already gone.

 

I have a 13 year old diabetic cat, so I need my mom to come live at my place while I'm away so that my cat can get her insulin injection (yup needles, on a cat, twice a day lol) and get fed. My mom is retired (she retired very young, SO lucky) and travels a lot so I'm confined to her schedule, and basically that means I can go away in October each year, so I do.

 

I think if i didn't have a special needs cat, I might consider having someone just come by and feed her once a day, but since mine needs constant watching for the insulin, I can't do that now.

 

I love her to death and while it's inconvenient, wouldn't change it for the world.

[CowPrincess]

World citizen, thank you for rescuing that parrot!

 

 

I had a cat who would "punish" me when I got home -- she would walk up to me at the door, and VERY deliberately turn her back on me and stalk away. It was intentional. She wouldn't talk to me for a couple of days after I got back. Wouldn't come near me once she'd made that first "comment" of "I show you my back, you do not exist in my world" :)

 

Now, psycho-kitty (DH's cat) bites me when we get home. Velcro-kitty (my cat) won't leave me alone for an instant, for 5 or so days. Psycho-kitty cannot be boarded because she refuses to eat. So we have a pet sitter or friend look after both of them.

 

For years we didn't travel because of one very elderly cat who needed sub-q fluids regularly. Our vet came to the house to do the sub-q fluids while we were away but would not accept payment.

 

The biggest amount of guilt and worry I felt when we cruised was about our little budgie. He was VERY attached to DH and me, and pined horribly. One time he was so upset he rubbed all the feathers off of his head :( He could tolerate us being gone for 10 days, but after that would retreat into a corner of his cage and not visit with the sitter at all. :(

 

I have a question to add to the first. This is probably more for cat owners, but does your pet punish you when you get home?

 

One of our cats used to shun us. If I spoke to her, she'd turn her head away. If I went to pet her, she'd walk away. This would last a few days, and then she'd be back to normal.

 

The next cat was the opposite. She glued herself to me after I'd been away. "Oh please please please don't go away again."

[alexspepa]

thanks for the vet advice - i will certainly give them the authorization.

 

Grand dog ma (great name!) sits for us; we always try to let her know well in advance. In addition, we have a flight attendant friend that leaves her dog with us when she travels - we always ask that Lucy's friend Gunny stay with her and grandma when we travel so she is not as lonely.

 

Still - grandma says she stares out the window till we return.

[3rdGenCunarder]

World citizen, thank you for rescuing that parrot!

 

 

I had a cat who would "punish" me when I got home -- she would walk up to me at the door, and VERY deliberately turn her back on me and stalk away. It was intentional. She wouldn't talk to me for a couple of days after I got back. Wouldn't come near me once she'd made that first "comment" of "I show you my back, you do not exist in my world" :)

 

Now, psycho-kitty (DH's cat) bites me when we get home. Velcro-kitty (my cat) won't leave me alone for an instant, for 5 or so days. Psycho-kitty cannot be boarded because she refuses to eat. So we have a pet sitter or friend look after both of them.

 

For years we didn't travel because of one very elderly cat who needed sub-q fluids regularly. Our vet came to the house to do the sub-q fluids while we were away but would not accept payment.

 

The biggest amount of guilt and worry I felt when we cruised was about our little budgie. He was VERY attached to DH and me, and pined horribly. One time he was so upset he rubbed all the feathers off of his head :( He could tolerate us being gone for 10 days, but after that would retreat into a corner of his cage and not visit with the sitter at all. :(

 

Velcro-kitty is a great term! My mom called it having the "invisible string" attached to you, but velcro is more like it. My velcro-kitty tried to shun me once. She couldn't do it. She'd turn her head away, but then she'd have to peek to see if I was still there. And seconds later, she was right beside me, begging me to stay home.

[Sapphire723]

I have a question to add to the first. This is probably more for cat owners, but does your pet punish you when you get home?

 

One of our cats used to shun us. If I spoke to her, she'd turn her head away. If I went to pet her, she'd walk away. This would last a few days, and then she'd be back to normal.

 

The next cat was the opposite. She glued herself to me after I'd been away. "Oh please please please don't go away again."

 

Yes. My cats absolutely do. In fact, I had to go away on business for a few weeks (hubby was home with the cats), and when I returned, I had to leave for our wedding cruise two days later. Well, I had unpacked a suitcase and put it away and then brought it back out to repack. I left it open on the floor while I started to gather the things I needed. When I returned, Nicole had jumped into the suitcase. She looked over at me and stared intently as she proceeded to empty her bladder inside my suitcase. I swear her look was a bit of "You are NOT leaving again" with a touch of evil.

 

To the OP: In our current situation, I do not feel badly, because my brother-in-law comes over to hang out with the cats while we're away. They really like him, and he takes great care of them so it's almost better than when we're home but at work!

[jaguarstyper]

I have a question to add to the first. This is probably more for cat owners, but does your pet punish you when you get home?

 

One of our cats used to shun us. If I spoke to her, she'd turn her head away. If I went to pet her, she'd walk away. This would last a few days, and then she'd be back to normal.

 

The next cat was the opposite. She glued herself to me after I'd been away. "Oh please please please don't go away again."

That's funny you mention this. My cat is generally pretty aloof. He's very friendly, but not much of a lap cat. When I return from being away more than a few days, he is a totally different cat for the next several weeks. If I sit down, he's right on my lap. He follows me around everywhere I go in the house and turns into the most affectionate lap cat anyone has ever seen. After a few weeks, he eventually reverts back to his old grumpy self and concentrates mainly on harassing me for food. LOL.

[crusinbanjo]

What I forgot to say earlier, a couple of years ago, when Mrs Banjo was really feeling the guilt, I framed a picture of "MrSneaker" and snuck it into the luggage. When we got onboard, I put it on the dresser. mrs Banjo was surprised and very happy, the room staff thought it was very cute. Now that picture travels with us on all cruise trips

[Barrheadlass]

We board our chocolate lab and a cat sitter comes in daily to feed our 2 cats. They are very friendly anyway, but when we come back they don't let us out of their sight! Our dog acts the same way if we're gone 10 minutes or two weeks...he's always thrilled to see us.

When we got back from our recent cruise I mentioned going to Montreal for a long weekend to my husband. "No," he said..."I won't leave the dog again for a while." I adore my pets, and I do feel guilty when leaving them, but none ever seem to mind.

[innlady1]

Totally understand what you are going through.

 

If you haven't already thought of this...we ask this of our clients (veterinary).

 

Let your vet know you will be away and have arranged a pet sitter. Your vet should have an authorization form for you to authorize your sitter to seek medical attention in case you are unreachable. You may also be able to give your vet a credit card "just in case".

 

Have a wonderful trip.

 

I do that every time we travel and it's great peace of mind. This year, our 8 1/2 year old Norwich Terrier was having breathing issues. I discussed our pet sitter with our vet and told him that she's very, very capable, and if need be, could make decisions for us. Sadly, when we came home, her breathing worsened and we lost her on February 24 after a week and three surgeries at Tufts School of Veterinary Medicine.

 

But, it is super important to entrust a pet sitter with the authority...and a credit card...if an emergency arises.

[innlady1]

I guess I must feel some guilt about leaving my kitty, as I don't normally take cruises more than 35 days. When I add in travel days, and pre-cruise, that's a long time to be gone---at least I think the cat thinks that way.

She stays in her own home, though, with her own familiar things, and that makes it easier for me to take. My neighbor comes in twice a day to change her food/water, and brush her. And, after all, she's a cat. She sleeps and sleeps and sleeps, even when I'm home with her.

 

That totally depends on how long I'm gone.

When I leave for a few days, the attitude is something like "Oh, you're back. OK, fine. "

 

If I take a cruise in the 7-10 day range, that's when I get "The Punishment" upon return. She's mad, and lets me know it. She won't come to me, walks past me with her head turned, refuses to have anything to do with me for about 3-5 days.

 

But when I take my usual long cruises, then it's soooo different!

When I come back from a long cruise it's "OMG! Where have you been??? I'm so mad at you, but I was so worried, and I want to run, run, run, and cuddle, cuddle, cuddle and I am not going to let you out of my sight!"

Then, she sleeps with me all night, every night, for several days. She insists on sitting on my lap often during the day.

Takes about 5 days for everything to get back to normal.

 

That's so interesting, Ruth. Animal behavior is fascinating. As I just mentioned, we lost our Norwich in February, a Norwich puppy who swallowed a bee and went into anaphalyxis shock in August, and our almost 16 year old Brittany last April...so it's been a tough year.

 

We now have a new Norwich puppy from the same breeder as Minnie. We went to Providence on Saturday evening to meet friends (who've become friends as they've stayed with us for a week each year at our inn), and I had my pet sitter come and stay with her. Just like having a child, I know!

 

When we're on a cruise or go away for an occasional weekend, we have her come...she stays in the house so the dogs are not disrupted and are in familiar surroundings. I have learned to just include that in the cost of travelling.

v

[world~citizen]

...I know they 'find us', too.

 

Thats a wonderful thought.

[crusinbanjo]

Yes. My cats absolutely do. In fact, I had to go away on business for a few weeks (hubby was home with the cats), and when I returned, I had to leave for our wedding cruise two days later. Well, I had unpacked a suitcase and put it away and then brought it back out to repack. I left it open on the floor while I started to gather the things I needed. When I returned, Nicole had jumped into the suitcase. She looked over at me and stared intently as she proceeded to empty her bladder inside my suitcase. I swear her look was a bit of "You are NOT leaving again" with a touch of evil. !

 

That is really funny, when Sneaker sees the suitcases, he sits on the bed, as Mrs Banjo puts things in, he pulls them out! Not trying to make her feel guilty or anything, I'm sure

[innlady1]

That is really funny, when Sneaker sees the suitcases, he sits on the bed, as Mrs Banjo puts things in, he pulls them out! Not trying to make her feel guilty or anything, I'm sure

 

That is a very cute story!

[beacha]

I do that every time we travel and it's great peace of mind. This year, our 8 1/2 year old Norwich Terrier was having breathing issues. I discussed our pet sitter with our vet and told him that she's very, very capable, and if need be, could make decisions for us. Sadly, when we came home, her breathing worsened and we lost her on February 24 after a week and three surgeries at Tufts School of Veterinary Medicine.

 

But, it is super important to entrust a pet sitter with the authority...and a credit card...if an emergency arises.

 

I am so sorry for your loss. We are leaving our precious Cairn terrier for 10days at our vet. I hate to be away so long, but we want to travel on the Maasdam before something in our lives prevents it. I know our pets hate it when we leave, but we must make the best decisions and then have hope that they will be fine. Our daughter has been given the honor of deciding for our dogs. I hope she won't have to make any hard decisions.

[Pokeynose]

This is the first time we will be leaving our 1 yr. old puppy when we go on a cruise. She stayed with my sister when I was in the hospital for a week and when she came home she ignored me for a bit. She will be with my sister when we cruise, she loves it there, she gets to sleep on her bed.;) Not me, Kira has two nice sized crates with pillows, blankets, etc. and chooses where she sleeps, not in our bed.

I know we will miss her, she sits on my lap when I'm on the computer. Kira is a mini schnauzer, pure black and very lovable. Glad others feel the same about their pets.:)

[Sunshine91]

John & I run a senior citizens center for the animals here. Abby the border terrier is 13 - but only in the last year or so has she finally calmed down from the excited puppy-phase. On long stints away from home, like a vacation, she goes to camp at John's folks. Their home is all on 1-level & they have a small fenced-in backyard. She enjoys being there, just not us leaving her. They have a young pug-mix, but Abby considers Paw-Paw's her 2nd home, so there she is the alpha dog, too. And Dutchess submits. On weekend trips we do put Abby in a kennel. The in-laws are 2 hours away & it's not always convenient to take her there. The kennel is fabulous - so clean & well run. Abby doesn't like to go there & is always happy to leave. But the owner always says that as soon as we leave, she's fine.

 

We also have 2 aged kitties. In a month, Sonny will be 18. We lost his brother Sammy right before our Alaskan adventure almost 3 years ago. That was so tough - he went downhill quickly about a week before we were due to leave & we were scrambling. Making that final decision was very difficult because of the additional time factor. And then we have Knightley, the black ghost. Nobody ever sees him. If we're away for only a long weekend, we just leave enough food & water for the boys. There's always plenty left when we get back. Our neighbor comes over every other day or so to take care of them when we're on vacation.

 

Growing up, we had a succession of Siamese cats. Each of those 3 ladies had real cattitude. Whenever my family would get back from a weekend away or a week's vacay, the cat would sit at the top of the steps & express her displeasure at being left. The first 2 were particularly vocal & aloof. The 3rd would only go on for a couple of minutes before she wanted some love.

 

My animals now are a bit different. As soon as the luggage comes out, Abby gets very antsy. She does NOT like it. Sonny wants to make love to it. Upon our return, Sonny usually greets us at the door, wanting to know where we've been. If we get back in the afternoon, we might see Knightley by midnight. He wants to be sure it's really us that has come into the house. :)

[Randyk47]

We just got home last night from being gone 18 days. The cats were not happy with us. :( We do have a good "pet sitter" who comes in every other day....that's about all cats need or want from a stranger....so they didn't starve or run out of water. All is good this morning and the youngest who is about 9 months old now won't let me out of his sight. The other two are cooler but have been up and around with me this morning. Mrs. K is still sleeping and her cat has taken up her normal sleeping position at the end of the bed. Took us 24 hours almost to the minute to get from Istanbul, Turkey to San Antonio, Texas so today is going to be a laid back recovery day for us and the cats. :)

[Seago2]

Just be careful and never leave an open suitcase around a cat before you leave.... I have had cats who like to roll up and sleep in there (cat hair is something I like to avoid on a cruise ;)) and over the years there has been the random cat who has peed in an open suitcase!:mad: I had to wash and repack everything- that was the Elation cruise I took with four of my kids (I was the only adult and we had to take two flights, rent a car, etc etc). I hit the ground running that morning, washed, dried and relaxed everything, but it could have been a disaster if I hadn't noticed so soon.