What kind of rules/expectations do you set for your kids on a cruise?

[mkleblanc]

Hi- We are setting sail with the kids next year on Carnival Freedom. This is DH and I's second cruise and will be the kids' first. They will be 11 and 9 on this trip. We are hoping to use Camp Carnival for part of the trip, as I think they would have fun with all of the activities and meeting new friends. I've been reading that they can have sign out priviledges, which I'm not sure if we will grant or not. Our 11 year old is very responsible but out 9 year old is a bit of a free spirit and likes to push the limits (and our buttons).

 

Where this type of vacation is new to us and them, I was wondering if those of you who have cruised with kids could share with me the kinds of rules you put in place while onboard.

 

Do you use walkie talkies? Have you allowed them to spend periods of time in the room alone (an hour or so)? Do you let them go get ice cream alone?

 

Lots to think about! Help....

[Colorado Kat]

Do not let them go into anyone else's cabin, and nobody comes into yours.

[cb at sea]

I would not be adverse to letting them go a short distance alone for a specific reason, like getting ice cream. I would NOT give them total freedom to roam for no reason.

 

I wouldn't mind leaving them in the cabin for a short time....if I was used to leaving them alone at home for short periods.....

 

Just use your common sense. A ship is like a small city...all sorts of folks aboard. Your kids' responsibility level and your trust in them will set your guidelines for them.

[Warm Breezes]

My children did not like the kids clubs as they were always in different age groups and couldn't be together so they went less than a handful of times in our 9 cruises. My rules under 12 were:

 

They could go together to a specific location (room, buffet, ice cream machine, mini-golf, arcade). We needed to know where they were going and they needed to know where we would be at. If that changed the party moving needed to go tell the other group where they were going. This was both adults and kids responsibility. Most of the time they were with us anyways.

 

They could not go into other peoples rooms. Other people were not allowed in our room.

 

They were not to accept drinks from anyone else.

 

Other than that my kids are the type who do not like to embarrass themselves so I knew I would have no issues with their behavior while they were out of our sight...if your kids are more rambuctious you may need a few more rules.

[bevomom]

Ours are 11 and 13. They are usually in the kids/teen area, or they can go together or with their friends to most public places, provided they check in with us first. If something changes, they have to let us know. We are clear with them where we will be, and it's not uncommon for them to come find us if needed. I'd say we're more on the strict side, but we try to balance it with some freedom so they can enjoy their vacation too. I totally agree with the above posters about going to someone's cabin or having visitors in ours.

 

Some things that have helped us...

 

- Either discussing at breakfast, or giving them a copy of the daily schedule, marked with our plans. If they need us, it's an easy way for them to know where we are.

- A specific curfew.

- A system of communication. We used a small, magnetized white board for the inside of the door to leave messages, OR a refrigerator magnet clip to hold notes. Either way, if their plans change, they have to leave a voice mail in the cabin or a note in the room.

- On our most recent cruise, our younger daughter made quick friends with 2 sisters and the 3 of them went everywhere together. We saw their parents frequently around the ship and it was great knowing there were 2 extra sets of eyes watching the girls.

- Walkie Talkies are great, but not perfect. The ship is crowded and large, and we often found several families using each of the available channels, so we were talking over each other a lot. Reception was occasionally an issue, particularly when one person was, for example, at the front on an upper deck, and the other was lower and toward the back.

 

You know your kids best, and honestly, they have a lot of fun with the other kids in the kids program, so you may see them less than you think! Enjoy your vacation!

[KatieCharlotte]

Our 11-year-old is pretty responsible when we give him some independence and is a cautious kid who doesn't get in trouble at school, so we allowed him to hang out with the friends he made in the public areas. We randomly checked on him, so knew he had better be in the public areas and behaving well or he'd lose his independence. We didn't use walkie talkies but knew there were a limited number of places where he would be. If he wanted to go somewhere other than the lido/waterpark/sports deck he had to ask. We let him go to the comedy club with friends on the last night because he'd shown he could be responsible. He never went to Camp Carnival because organized group activities with new kids make him nervous, but he had sign out privileges if he did.

 

He was not allowed to go to any cabin without us. I would have allowed him to stay alone in our cabin for a short time, if he had wanted to.

 

Our 8-year-old was required to stay in the same area we were. She would go down the waterslides, etc., while I was sitting somewhere nearby. Once she was familiar with the layout of the ship, she was allowed to go get ice cream and come right back, if we were in the same general area of the ship.

 

I don't think I would give a 9-year-old sign out privileges, especially one who isn't especially responsible, but I would give them increasing responsibility to do things independently while you're on the same deck, like getting ice cream or pizza, playing mini-golf, etc, if they were acting responsibly.

[Julienatul]

No running, no cutting in line, no one out on the balcony without an adult, Inside voices in the dining room ( my kids are younger, 4 and 7),be courteous to other passengers. Do not go to anyone else's cabin ever. Be within sight of us at all times ( I will let the older one get a drink or get ice cream alone as long as I can see her). Do not go in the pool or hot tub unless an adult is with you. Stay right with us in port do not wander off.

[akcruz]

My kids are a bit older now than your, for the 11 year old I would let them go short distances on their own, but the younger they would need to be with me or their older sibling. As for leaving them in the cabin alone, this should be fine, just put the do not disturb sign out and let them know where you will be if they need you.

 

I have gathered a bunch of great rules from various posts over the years and will post that list in a minute. Have seen different variations posted to fit each individual family. Use what you can from it.

 

Overall cruises are great family vacations, just make sure to set the rules along with consequences and make sure the kids are aware of them prior to getting on the ship.

 

Oh, and walkie talkies, we brought them once and never ended up using them. Logistically they are more of a pain than a use from our perspective.

[akcruz]

Here is the "contract" we have used in the past. My youngest is almost 18 so can now pretty much repeat all that is here!!

 

First of all we want all of us to have fun. This should be a relaxing, enjoyable vacation. We hope that noting our expectations and rules before we depart will avoid any misunderstandings on-board. Note that violation of these rules will result in you being required to stay with us or in your cabin and therefore you will not be able to participate in any of the teen activities. These rules are not in place to say that we do not trust you, but to ensure we can all enjoy our trip.

• You are not to enter any cabins other than ours. It does not matter if it is the cabin of a new friend or someone we know (unless one of us expressly approves this).

 

• No one else is to enter our cabins.

 

• If you are in your cabin alone – hang the do not disturb sign on the door. This should prevent any RCCL employee from entering. Please ensure you remove it when you leave the room.

• You are not to drink any beverage unless it is handed to you by a family member or an RCCL staff member. You are not to drink from anything you have let out of your sight. Some people have been known to slip drugs into other people’s drinks. This is a lifelong rule that should be followed in any social situation.

 

• We expect to know where you are on the ship. We will use notes in our cabin to let each other know where we can be found.

 

• You are not to loiter or play in the stairwells, hallways, or elevators. Activities such as “knock and run” or calling other cabins to hang up will not be tolerated.

 

• We will decide on a curfew each night. The ship’s curfew is 1 AM since you are under 18. We have the right to require you to be in the cabin earlier if we feel the need.

• Your Sea Pass is tied to my credit card. It is to be used only by you. You may not buy other people drinks, snacks, arcade games, or souvenirs. You have a budget of $xx. If you exceed this budget without our approval, you will need to reimburse us.

 

• If you loose your Seapass you are to immediately notify one of us.

 

• We expect to eat dinner together most nights. There is flexibility if there is an alternate activity you would prefer to attend as long as we have discussed it in advance (at least that morning).

 

• If there are kids you would prefer to hang out with instead of the teen club, I need to meet them.

• If you order room service, you must tip the delivery person. We will provide a small amount of money for this.

 

• If we arrange a check-in time and you miss it then you are “grounded” for the next 24 hours. This means that you must stay with us or in your cabin.

 

• No visits to the outside areas of the upper deck at night alone.

 

• Put anything of value into the cabin safe. Cell phones are only to be taken out of the safe when we ask you to. Texts and calls are expensive and not in your budget.

 

• Do not leave the ship without one of us.

[bevomom]

akcruz - those are great! Thanks for sharing with us.

 

For the moms of younger kids - I'd also add one more thing about port days. There are usually other ships in port and the crowds and lines to return to the ships can be long. In Cozumel last week there were 5-6 ships there. At 2,500+ each, that's a lot of people in one area. It's hard to think about your small kids getting separated from you, but it can happen. Prepare your kids ahead of time for what to do if they feel lost or can't see you.

 

What we've taught our kids is to basically stop and stay there. Have them stop walking and look all the way around them. Practice having them turn a full circle and look for you. You could have fallen behind, and might be just up ahead. If they still don't see you, they should stand still and shout for you. Tell them to relax, keep shouting "Mom" or whatever, and not to move until they see you again. You'll come straight back for them and it's easier to find them if they are where you saw them last, not roaming around or wandering off. If someone offers to help them, they should stay put and ask the helper to stay with them and shout your name. We use the same technique at Disney World, or any large event like a concert or fair. Better to be prepared and safe!

[mkleblanc]

Thank you all for your replies. Lots of great rules and suggestions. Our cruise is a year away (349 days to be exact :)) so we have some time to think about things and decide what rules to employ. I like the idea of having a contract so they can visually see the rules and we can post it inside the cabin. DH and I are so excited to go and are keeping the trip a secret until Christmas. It's going to be so hard to keep it to ourselves!!

[Onessa]

Most of what I see here is stuff that we use. A few things very important:

 

1) there is safety in numbers, you are not to be out and about alone. Stay with friends. If you are coming back to the cabin and are alone, call the cabin before you leave one area. If we are not there, leave a message -- it is 2:05 I am leaving the pool to come back to the cabin. If you detour on your way back, update the message. There are house phones all over the place.

2) we update our family code word. So if something does happen and we need to send word to you with someone else, you'll know that they are really relaying our message.

 

Our DD is pretty street-smart, but I do look her right in the eye each and every cruise to tell her that she does NOT leave the ship without mom or dad under any circumstances, for any reason, and for any amount of time.

[sunnysavannah]

We will be traveling with our kiddos and some friends with kids who are the same ages. 2 boys (11 & 9) and our boy(9) and girl(11). So... DD 11 and friends DS 11 will have some extra rules about cabins. :cool: They all hang out a lot and get along, but lately the 11 year olds have been sitting a little closer and studying each other's video games more. :p DD may not be "one of the boys" in the fall!

[Colorado Kat]

We will be traveling with our kiddos and some friends with kids who are the same ages. 2 boys (11 & 9) and our boy(9) and girl(11). So... DD 11 and friends DS 11 will have some extra rules about cabins. :cool: They all hang out a lot and get along, but lately the 11 year olds have been sitting a little closer and studying each other's video games more. :p DD may not be "one of the boys" in the fall!

 

Ah! The joys of hormones and teenagers! Enjoy!

[dsrdsrdsr]

Our DD is pretty street-smart, but I do look her right in the eye each and every cruise to tell her that she does NOT leave the ship without mom or dad under any circumstances, for any reason, and for any amount of time.

Especially on sea days. :)

 

Use the same rules as you use at home. do you let them spend time in their room at home? If so, they'll be safe here. Do you let them go out to a shop at home? Then they'll be safe getting ice cream here. (And if they can't do either of those things, then this might be a good time to let them - while they're still young enough to take notice of you and don't think they know it all.)

 

Once they've grasped that you can't go into anyone else's cabin, and no-one else can come into yours, and they can't leave the public areas, I think you're pretty much covered.

[skram99]

This was a great question!!

No matter the age group we can always set up rules for a vacation!

thanks for the ideas!!

 

Kerri Ann

 

NCl Breakawy Sept. 8, 2013

NCL Star April 2012

NCL Jewel Oct. 2011

NCl Gem Feb. 2011

Disney Magic 2002

Princess 1988

[A&Jfamily]

Hi- We are setting sail with the kids next year on Carnival Freedom. This is DH and I's second cruise and will be the kids' first. They will be 11 and 9 on this trip. We are hoping to use Camp Carnival for part of the trip, as I think they would have fun with all of the activities and meeting new friends. I've been reading that they can have sign out priviledges, which I'm not sure if we will grant or not. Our 11 year old is very responsible but out 9 year old is a bit of a free spirit and likes to push the limits (and our buttons).

 

Where this type of vacation is new to us and them, I was wondering if those of you who have cruised with kids could share with me the kinds of rules you put in place while onboard.

 

Do you use walkie talkies? Have you allowed them to spend periods of time in the room alone (an hour or so)? Do you let them go get ice cream alone?

 

Lots to think about! Help....

 

We have not found that walkies work well on the ship. Since they will be in the same age group, do you trust your 9 year old to not sign out unless the 11 year old accompanies? If so, simply make that a rule. If not, no sign in/out privileges for youngest, IMHO.

 

Other than that, the "schedule" of camp makes it pretty easy. On sea days 9-12, 1-4/5 and 7-10. We have always sent them to camp at 9 (if that's what they wanted but they LOVE camp and always wanted to go) and told them we would meet them just before noon for lunch. That way we could decide together where and what we wanted to eat. At lunch we discussed afternoon plans with the terms that if they signed out, they either had to go straight to the room, or come to us at location X. A stop for ice cream on lido was allowed. They got to do camp dinner 1 or 2 times, but on most nights ate with us. They could leave dinner at 7 for camp. And they were due back in the room by 10 when camp ended...no detours. No wandering ship, running, yelling etc. They were told up front that a violation of the rules would result in loss of privileges and grounding to the room.

 

Never had an issue until this year. My almost 15 year old last track of time and was not ready for dinner. He was grounded to the room for the night. He was perfect the rest of the trip. Lesson learned.

:D

[powelweb]

When we sailed last summer, our DD was almost 9, and it was the first cruise she could sign in and out on her own, so we let her try it out since our cabin was on the same deck and area as the kids club, or she could leave from the main dining room and go to the kids club to check in for the evening.

 

For instance, we went to a specialty restaurant one night, but they had a pajama party in the kids party that she wanted to go to, but wasn't sure she would want to stay for the full 2 + hours we'd be at dinner, so the deal was she could leave the kids club, but she had to go back to our cabin, put in the do not disturb sign and there she could either watch TV that she could regularly watch, read a book or play games on her tablet. She could not leave until we came back from dinner.

 

We also had the phone number to the kids club to call and check if she arrived from the dining room or if she was still there, too.

 

good luck with your cruise

[askimdog]

We believe in keeping things the same routine as possible. We cruise with an 8 year old girl. She still has daily homework she brings from school. Her bedtime of 8/8 :30 is the same, as well as dinner @5. Makes everything easy. She dislikes Camp Carnival so she hangs with us, so no rules yet on away time.

[RoadTripFanatic]

DD is 12 and getting ready to go on a cruise this week. Here are our common rules of travel.

 

1. In foreign ports of call you must stay in our eye sight at all times.

2. You must be quiet in the hallways between 9pm and 9am. People are sleeping. No running, laughing, yelling etc during this time frame. Only quiet voices.

3. Always treat the housekeeping department and waiters with great respect. Always use your manners. If not there will be consequences.

These people will take great care of you if you are nice to them.

4. Please try new foods. This is a great opportunity to try different foods.

5. Keep an open mind about our adventures. It's a great time to learn something new about a different culture.

6. Never go anywhere with a crew member by yourself.

7. Never let anyone in the cabin if you are by yourself.

8. If you run up on deck for ice cream go straight there and back. Do not talk to strangers.

9. Never go into anyone else's cabin. NEVER.

10. Have fun!

[nothriver]

Great suggestions!

 

My daughter, turning 8on the cruise will be cruising for the first time with her ver outgoing cousin who is 9. I do not think I would be comfortable with them going anywhere unspuervised. Children, like dogs, who are well behaved on their own, sometimes seem to go crazy and loose all common sense in a "pack".

 

We are traveling in a 3 generation family group. While I can set any rules I like, my mother sometimes overrides my rules and lets the kids do things I would never allow. :eek:

[notentirelynormal]

I would not be adverse to letting them go a short distance alone for a specific reason, like getting ice cream. I would NOT give them total freedom to roam for no reason.

 

I wouldn't mind leaving them in the cabin for a short time....if I was used to leaving them alone at home for short periods.....

 

Just use your common sense. A ship is like a small city...all sorts of folks aboard. Your kids' responsibility level and your trust in them will set your guidelines for them.

 

The only other rule would be - be where you say you are going to be. I allow them a free reign, but I'm really really watching that free reign. Basically if you wouldn't do it at home, why would you do it on the ship?

[snorkelman]

Our last cruise both of our twin daughters just turned 8 and they mainly were in the kids program. We did not allow them to leave the program unless we signed them out.

 

On day 1 they learned our cabin number and deck. Only rule was that they go to bed when we say, which was almost always 10pm.

[cas10]

As I am cruising with my 4yo for the first time at the end the month, I found this thread very informative. Thanks everyone!

[Markanddonna]

I just finished reading a posting about a sexual crime against a 15 year old on board an RCCL ship. Please check out that board to consider that is isn't just mischief your child can get into but that there is alcohol combined with some bad people out there.

 

Would you let your child wander around NYC on their own? A ship is just a little city that the child is unfamiliar with.