Can Crew Members do this??

[MicCanberra]

This goes back to the concept of gifts.

 

If you cruise a lot and get to truly know a crew member and their preferences, there is no problem being a little more personal.

 

However, until you get to that point, distance is polite and cash is king. Buying lunch without fanfare as noted, covers both of those.

 

Agreed, great post:D

Edited July 5, 2014 by MicCanberra

[landnsea]

In the past I've been told by crew members that they spent the day on one of the islands because it was their day off. If so, are the passengers allowed to spent time with them or buy them a drink/meal or gift?

 

Most of the cruise lines and Princess is no different discourages crew, passenger relations while ashore, some are just down right fearful of losing there jobs.

We have offered to buy a cold one for some and have been told..no we are not allowed ?

There has been times when we have seen crew that we had become friendly with sitting together at a table ashore, we had called over the manger and picked up the tables tap without them knowing about it.

The cruise lines pay these people less then dirt and work them unlawful hours.

 

John,Laura and Gaby

Seattle, Wa.

Go Hawks

[swedish weave]

The biggest problem with this kind of thread is some posters try to group the crew members into a "cookie cutter" mold and consider them all alike. Others recognize the crew members as individuals with different personalities, likes and dislikes.

 

The people who see them as individuals do develop friendships while others hold them at arms length.

 

I have had crew members join us on tours (which we paid for) and some have invited us to their shore lunches and "get togethers". I feel privileged to be accepted as a friend instead as just another passenger.

 

Keep in mind that we are older people. The "kids" keep in touch with us and seem to enjoy our company both on and off the ships. We also receive the best service we could expect anywhere. Being friendly has benefits !!!

 

I will also add that the ships are like small towns. Once you are recognized as a friend by some, many others want to also be your friend so the circle grows.

Edited July 5, 2014 by swedish weave

[Colo Cruiser]

The biggest problem with this kind of thread is some posters try to group the crew members into a "cookie cutter" mold and consider them all alike. Others recognize the crew members as individuals with different personalities, likes and dislikes.

 

The people who see them as individuals do develop friendships while others hold them at arms length.

 

I have had crew members join us on tours (which we paid for) and some have invited us to their shore lunches and "get togethers". I feel privileged to be accepted as a friend instead as just another passenger.

 

Keep in mind that we are older people. The "kids" keep in touch with us and seem to enjoy our company both on and off the ships. We also receive the best service we could expect anywhere. Being friendly has benefits !!!

 

I will also add that the ships are like small towns. Once you are recognized as a friend by some, many others want to also be your friend so the circle grows.

 

 

Yes! I agree. :)

[shredie]

 

I will also add that the ships are like small towns. Once you are recognized as a friend by some, many others want to also be your friend so the circle grows.

 

Sounds like high school to me.

[rdsqrl]

Sounds like high school to me.

Well, he did call them "kids." So, . . . .

[ar1950]

Sounds like high school to me.

 

Have you ever watched this video? Maybe a cross between high school and college dorm. :cool:

 

[swedish weave]

Well, he did call them "kids." So, . . . .

 

And ---- Some of them call us Mom and Dad....

[pablo222]

Sounds like high school to me.

 

Ever belong to a country club?

 

Same thing. You start out with a friend or two, and then

you become friends with their friends, etc.

 

Pretty much life...

[MicCanberra]

Ever belong to a country club?

 

Same thing. You start out with a friend or two, and then

you become friends with their friends, etc.

 

Pretty much life...

 

For the friendly types at least...:rolleyes:

[notentirelynormal]

The biggest problem with this kind of thread is some posters try to group the crew members into a "cookie cutter" mold and consider them all alike. Others recognize the crew members as individuals with different personalities, likes and dislikes.

 

The people who see them as individuals do develop friendships while others hold them at arms length.

 

I have had crew members join us on tours (which we paid for) and some have invited us to their shore lunches and "get togethers". I feel privileged to be accepted as a friend instead as just another passenger.

 

Keep in mind that we are older people. The "kids" keep in touch with us and seem to enjoy our company both on and off the ships. We also receive the best service we could expect anywhere. Being friendly has benefits !!!

 

I will also add that the ships are like small towns. Once you are recognized as a friend by some, many others want to also be your friend so the circle grows.

 

About as true a statement as can be made. Staff and crew are people. Some are happy, some are sad. Some like to be left alone and some like to socialize.

 

We have been cruising since the early 80s. Our waiter on that first cruise was just hysterical. We bonded instantly. When we moved to Vancouver we would go down to the ship and meet up with him. Wait on the ship until he could get off (by this time he was the M'D of the Pacific Princess (you know the love boat). Once he was done he'd get off the ship with us (me and my 2 kids - husband was back in California :)). We did sightseeing or just came to the house for some R&R. Some times we'd stay on the ship and talk. LOL some crew even thought we were married. Nope, I was happily married and so was he. We were just good friends. Years go on - keeping in touch. We are on a cruise with him and my daughter has on her big 'men' boots. They are not cute. So he see's her and bursts out laughing. So the other guy with him laughs. He looks at him and says "I've known her since she was a little girl - I can laugh.... you can not".

 

We've had crew members to our house. One crew member stayed in touch from the time he was 18 until around 30. Loved my daughter - really. He even got into a fight with another crew member because we had been on the cruise before and he saw him hugging her in a picture. Tracked us down through my mother when we moved from Vancouver back to LA. Came to our house then too.

 

A couple of cruises ago our Head Waiter had known us since he was an assistant waiter. Again, saw the kids grow up. He was so excited that we were in his station because we had the grandchildren with us. We had three tables for our group. It was hysterical to watch the others around us. Each night we would have a special dish put on all three tables to test. He hovered. The wine guy hovered. The waiter and assistant hovered cos he was. I think the other passengers wanted to know who we were.

 

We had one JAP cry when we brought her a birthday cake. She had been on our cruise the year before at the same time and we remembered it was her birthday. It was hard to forget her. My DD had missing luggage and she lent her some clothes, including much needed underwear.

 

We've had crew members call us from all over the world just to say hi.

 

The best one... we had a group of 10 people. One of our waiter friends had now been promoted to be M'D of the other restaurant. We sit down for dinner on the first night and he comes in and starts yelling in Italian to our head guy. He yells back. It went on for a few minutes and they are switching between Italian and English. He's telling him he BETTER be good to us and treat us well. He leaves. People are wondering. So a few days into the cruise the guy at the next table, also a table for 10, says to me. Who are you? He says, we all arrive before you yet you are always served first. You have people yelling to give you great service, you have servers coming up to you that hug you. Everyone seems to know you on board. I mean who ARE you? I said, I dunno what's going on. This is our first cruise :D.

 

I could go on and on but I won't. Each and every cruise I have been on we have seen old friends and made news ones. Suffice it to say, some people like to befriend others and some do not. It's the way of life. Instead of criticizing those that are outgoing why can't you just be a little more tolerant that not everyone is the same as you?

 

Oh, forgot to add - when we moved back to LA and didn't have housing yet one of the DJs offered us his house to stay at. They are just people like you and me and treating them that way is all they ask.

Edited July 6, 2014 by notentirelynormal

[canadarocks]

Thank you for your lovely post notentirelynormal. How wonderful that you have made so many good friends with crew members while cruising. :)

[Colo Cruiser]

I agree!

[MicCanberra]

It is nice to make friends while on holidays that remain friends well and truly after the holiday has finished. The friendship is based on a mutual respect and enjoyment of each others company and to me it doesn't matter how or where you met these people or what they do as a job. This of course can include the crew.:D

Edited July 6, 2014 by MicCanberra

[OCruisers]

If you really want to make a staff member who cannot get off the ship happy, ask if there is anything you can buy for him/her when you are on shore.

 

Yes, the two bartenders at our favorite bar did appreciate that on a cruise. They were telling us it was going to be a very short stop so they would not be able to get off the ship at all and where they normally bought cigarettes very cheap. We found out what they smoked and brought a carton back to each of them. :)

They really offered to pay us but we told them to consider it as a PART of their tip.

LuLu

Edited July 6, 2014 by OCruisers

[karatemom2]

It always surprises me when this topic comes up in one form or another how some get so up in arms over the idea that one can make personal friendships with staff or crew. It really isn't at all that different from any other aspect of human relations. As we go through life, whether it be at school, work, social clubs or vacations we run across people with whom we make special connections. It doesn't happen with everyone we meet, and some will make more of these types of connections than others, but regardless of the circumstances it seems that it should be somthing that is celebrated not criticized as desperate or self-serving. People make connections here on Cruise Critic through roll calls and some form lifelong friendships.

 

We have made many great friends on our cruises - some through Cruise Critic, some through just meeting people onboard and some with staff and crew with whom we just click as fellow human beings. I don't really get why that would seem odd. It's just people being people and forming friendships based on mutual interests, respect and consideration just as they would in any setting.

[shredie]

I am amazed as I read this how self centered many of the posts are. I was also very impressed by the random act of paying a meal and not making them tell you all the juicy secrets of living on board.

 

They have to be nice to you on ship or off or they lose their job. they can not risk a passenger complaining about them.

 

...

 

They deserve to be treated with respect, and for people to respect thier private time.

There is a concept called "professional boundaries." Some people think this is a good idea, me among them. Observing these boundaries does not mean I or anyone else treat the crew members with anything less than kindness and respect. It is not necessary to become personal friends with someone in order to be kind and respectful. The passengers who claim to have friendships with just about everyone they ever met on a ship seem ingenuous to me. The duties of the crew are to make my journey pleasant. My duties to them include gratitude, respect, and a decent tip--not trying to get them to elect me prom queen.

Edited July 7, 2014 by shredie

[MicCanberra]

Yes, the two bartenders at our favorite bar did appreciate that on a cruise. They were telling us it was going to be a very short stop so they would not be able to get off the ship at all and where they normally bought cigarettes very cheap. We found out what they smoked and brought a carton back to each of them. :)

They really offered to pay us but we told them to consider it as a PART of their tip.

LuLu

Nice gesture.:D

[billco]

The best one... we had a group of 10 people. One of our waiter friends had now been promoted to be M'D of the other restaurant. We sit down for dinner on the first night and he comes in and starts yelling in Italian to our head guy. He yells back. It went on for a few minutes and they are switching between Italian and English. He's telling him he BETTER be good to us and treat us well. He leaves. People are wondering. So a few days into the cruise the guy at the next table, also a table for 10, says to me. Who are you? He says, we all arrive before you yet you are always served first. You have people yelling to give you great service, you have servers coming up to you that hug you. Everyone seems to know you on board. I mean who ARE you? I said, I dunno what's going on. This is our first cruise :D.

I don't care if passengers form friendships with crew members. I think I do care if through those friendships they get preferential treatment over me while on a cruise.

[notentirelynormal]

I don't care if passengers form friendships with crew members. I think I do care if through those friendships they get preferential treatment over me while on a cruise.

 

I agree with you but we were only talking a few minutes and back in those days.... there wasn't much different you could do. They had two small restaurants, one pool, no kids center, one nightclub. They only thing we really got was a laugh and dinner served 5 minutes sooner than the guy at the next table. It's not like we came in really late and they ran to please us. We were always on time. I think that's why passengers got to know the crew so well back then. There were only 650 passengers so it was much more personal.

[rdsqrl]

There is a concept called "professional boundaries." Some people think this is a good idea, me among them. Observing these boundaries does not mean I or anyone else treat the crew members with anything less than kindness and respect. It is not necessary to become personal friends with someone in order to be kind and respectful. The passengers who claim to have friendships with just about everyone they ever met on a ship seem ingenuous to me. The duties of the crew are to make my journey pleasant. My duties to them include gratitude, respect, and a decent tip--not trying to get them to elect me prom queen.

Agree completely.

Also, it avoids the appearance of impropriety. Impropriety being broadly defined to include not necessarily the salacious but also the perception of special treatment of the favoured [and I think we all can cite examples of that] and the concomitant less-than-equal treatment of others.

[swedish weave]

I treat friendly people better than I do others. I find that it works both ways.

 

The old saying that one hand washes the other holds true in all aspects of life.

[MicCanberra]

I treat friendly people better than I do others. I find that it works both ways.

 

The old saying that one hand washes the other holds true in all aspects of life.

Yep, scratching each others backs comes to mind.:D

[tjwa]

Agree completely.

Also, it avoids the appearance of impropriety. Impropriety being broadly defined to include not necessarily the salacious but also the perception of special treatment of the favoured [and I think we all can cite examples of that] and the concomitant less-than-equal treatment of others.

 

Well said.