REVIEW: "Italy & Dalmatian Coast" / Constellation / 30-AUG-2015 (with photos)

[Maligator]

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you to all who have encouraged me with your comments and to those who are enjoying the review and photos! My view count on Flickr is unprecedented (for me).

[Maligator]

Saturday, September 5 / Kotor, Montenegro

WX: 80F + overcast with occasional light drizzle

Also in port: MSC Musica, Le Lyrial, Star Breeze

 

Kotor was one of the stops where none of the excursions rang our bell, so we chose to explore on our own. It also meant we could sleep til 09:00. A late wake-up and leisurely pace through breakfast served the purpose of avoiding the rush on the tenders. Tendering is always tedious, but I noticed a couple of three-stripers from the hotel staff were down in the trenches with us and everything seemed to go as smoothly as one could ask for. We chose to ride on the upper deck so I could get some shots of the ship as we puttered past. I noticed MSC Musica at anchor way down the inlet and thought we’d made out pretty well, considering their tendering must have taken a good fifteen minutes each way, compared to our three.

 

Like Split and Dubrovnik, Kotor’s Old Town is the tourist hub of the city and cruisers are already at the gate by the time they exit the cruise pier. Kotor is longer than it is wide, which is thanks to the steep mountains that rise from the inlet. A walk “across” town from the waterfront to the foot of the mountains is a matter of a few minutes at a leisurely pace. Inside the Old Town walls is typical of the other Old Towns. They’re full of narrow passages, limited (if any) vehicular traffic, tons of shops and cafes. For some stupid reason, I felt the need to bring my camera backpack, loaded with all my gear. It weighed in around 27 lbs and I alternated carrying it with Camera Sherpa (hence the nickname).

 

Our plan for the day was to kill me through rigorous climbing and leave my corpse as an offering to whatever gods live on the mountaintop. Perched high above the town is an old fortification, which one can climb to via a narrow, winding trail of steep and poorly-maintained steps. I forget off-hand how many steps, feet, furlongs, parsecs or whatever it takes to get to the top, but it’s a lot. Our Rick Steves guide helped us find the entry point, which is cleverly disguised as a dead-end alley. We paid a few euros to the guy at the card table at the entry and started our Death Climb of Death. For a little background, we live at sea level. If we’re 30 feet up, it means we’re on an overpass. Add to that the fact that I’m not competing in fitness events, unless it involves “fitness whole pizza in my mouth.” My wife is in somewhat better shape than I, despite her advanced age (she’s 2.5 years older and will likely kill me when she sees this). So up we went. After 45 minutes of huffing, puffing and frequent stops to catch my breath, we made it to a little chapel that marks the halfway point, roughly. I used the opportunity to rest for a minute and take some shots of the town and chapel. After I recovered a bit, we resumed our Geneva Convention-violating hike. I was now determined to make it to the top, having seen grandmas and grandpas in sandals hoofing it like it was a stroll in the park. I’m not exaggerating when I saw there were all manners of inappropriate footwear going up and down that trail, from bare feet to spike heels. If they could make it, so could I. I was the Little Engine That Could. An hour and a half after we started, we made it to the top, where we were rewarded with a commanding view of the town, inlet and the Connie. I secretly hoped someone installed a slide to get back down, but it was not to be. Assisted by gravity, I was much better at going down and was surprised that my wife was having a harder time on the return trip than she did on the way up. *pfft* Rookies… We eventually matched pace with a retired couple from Seattle who were on the Star Breeze and passed the time comparing cruises and telling stories.

 

View from partway up. Note how far the MSC chumps had to make it. That's their boat to the right of the frame.

 

KOT016 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Ugh. I got winded just copying and pasting the link to this shot.

 

KOT026 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Back at sea level, we stopped in an old church Sherpa read about in the Rick Steves book. It was listed as “not to miss” so we investigated. It wasn’t the most magnificent we’d visited, but it was worth a stop. I might not have even mentioned it, but it was in this church that my legs said, “Nope!” and gave out. I wobbled back to the pier and somehow made it to the upper deck of the tender. As we waited for the boat to fill, it started to drizzle, but not enough to send us scrambling down to the covered deck.

 

After a shower and late lunch, we camped out on the sun deck on Deck 12 Forward to read and recover from the morning’s work. At 17:30, it was time to leave and we went back to the room to enjoy the sail away from our veranda. Kotor is one of those places where the sail away is not to be missed. There is a tiny church on an equally tiny island near the mouth of the inlet and the ship passes through the narrowest point of the trip soon after. It reminded me of some of the narrow straits of the Inside Passage on Alaskan itineraries. After we hit open water, we hung out with I Wayan for libations.

 

KOT042 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

An abandoned town on the mountainside.

 

KOT040 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Our Lady of the Rock, as seen from the veranda during sail away.

 

KOT043 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Passing through the narrow spot on the way out. You can just barely make out the church I posted above to the left.

 

KOT046 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

While we left at 17:30, it takes over an hour to get to the Adriatic, so the downside was missing our dinner time. We went back to Bistro On Five for a casual meal and they did not disappoint. My wife had a chicken Ceasar and cookies & cream shake. I had the lamb chops and a Nutella & banana crepe that knocked my socks off.

 

Exhausted from the day’s activities, we turned in early.

[POA1]

Thanks so much for this! :)

[Barwick Cruiser]

Absolutely loving this review and the amazing pics!! Love your sense of humour too!! I keep interrupting DH to read aloud many of the excerpts! This sounds like a great itinerary and Kotor is def on our bucket list...looks absolutely stunning. Keep up the great work!!

Cathy

[Maligator]

Sunday, September 6 / At Sea

WX: 85F + cloudy

Also in port: N/A

 

This was our only sea day on this cruise and needed to cram as much relaxation into it as we could. We were up at 08:30 without our alarm and took our time getting dressed and fed. Mid-morning, we went to the MDR for the Heartbeat of the Operation Galley Tour. Maybe it’s because I’ve been on several or maybe I’m right on the money, but these galley tours seem to get shorter and less-involved every year. I seem to recall more than a ten minute trip through the kitchen. Sure, the chef leading our group told us the basics, but I think previous tours gave us more information during the tour, like how much bread they bake each day, how many desserts they make and how much beef we consume during a sailing. Maybe I’m mistaken. Anyway, the tour ended in Ocean Liners for a sales pitch for the specialty restaurants.

 

CON061 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

CON062 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

For the rest of the day, we flopped by the pool. Naturally, it was jam-packed, but we somehow managed to find a pair of neighboring lounges between the two pools. After a while, we were asked to vacate the pool for some kind of passenger competition. CD Alejandro and AM Peter, along with Andres, led a dance lesson, wearing tuxedo jackets. The ongoing banter between Alejandro and Peter – which was not limited to this event – was always entertaining. Peter (a Welshman) and Alejandro (an Argentinian with a thick accent) picked at each other about their accents and had us in stitches. Also in need of stitches was Peter’s tux jacket, who’s seams couldn’t handle his gyrating and split in several places. I can still hear Alejandro’s voice repeating, “Pee-teer! Your cha-ket ees too small!” during the songs. After the dancing, they led a passenger vs passenger competition that could be described as Drunk Olympics, which quickly lost our attention.

 

Passing company traffic on the starboard. Vision OTS, steaming toward Venice.

 

CON067 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Our favorite view.

 

CON068 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

This was the second of the two formal nights, so we’d booked dinner at Ocean Liners. They served a spoonful of chilled pumpkin soup, I think, that was terrible. It was supposed to “awaken the palate” but looked, felt and tasted like Gerber’s Baby Chow. The wife had the goat cheese soufflé, dover sole, and chocolate soufflé. I had the scallop Wellington, veal tenderloin and gelato assortment. We enjoyed everything, though the scallop looked lonely and needed two or three companions on the plate.

 

The remainder of the evening was spent with I Wayan at the Oceanview Bar, where we engaged in the consumption of intoxicants and chatted with a very nice couple from the UK. I regret not getting their contact information, as they were fantastic folks. Several hours later, we stumbled back to our room and went to bed.

[Maligator]

Monday, September 7 / Valletta, Malta

WX: 90F + cloudy

Also in port: none

 

I’m not sure what was going on at 07:15, but it felt like someone plugged a quarter in the Magic Fingers bed at an hourly motel. I assume it was the propellers chopping the water while maneuvering in the harbor, but whatever it was, it raised an unholy racket and precluded any further sleep.

 

Our scheduled excursion was to see the Blue Grotto and Marsaxlokk. We boarded a coach on the pier and our guide was soon rattling on about Malta this and Malta that. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for hearing about history and such, but it irks me when the guide spends more time talking about how many nice hotels and big businesses there are than discussing Malta’s strategic importance throughout history. I don’t really care that Lufthansa has a maintenance base here or that Europeans flock to the island for vacation. That’s just gloating.

 

The town of Zurrieq. It was decorated for the previous day's Feast of St Catherine.

 

VAL016 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Anyway, I tuned her out and focused on the beige landscape flashing by the window. I guess I was surprised by how arid it was. The plaster/stucco buildings and low mud brick walls reminded me somewhat of northern Mexico. After about thirty minutes of winding roads, we were at the southern coast of Malta and stopped at a scenic overlook perched on a cliff. We walked down to the edge, where we had an overhead view of the grotto. Tiny motorboats puttered around down there, which it turned out would be our next stop. A few minutes farther down the road brought us to a tiny fishing village with a narrow inlet, where the grotto tour boats loaded and offloaded tourists. I think we went nine per boat, sitting on plank seats. The water was pretty choppy, but the skipper plowed on. The occasional spray of seawater flew up and over us, but never enough to get us soaked. The trip to the grotto was maybe five minutes and the water didn’t get much calmer once we arrived. The guide gave us a few facts and names with all the fervor and enthusiasm of a man who’s been doing the same tour for decades. We puttered into a couple of sea caves, turned around and headed back to the dock. What was I expecting? I expected the brilliant aqua pool, lit from above by the sun in a cave we’d have to lay down in the boat to fit through. I saw that in pictures on the internet. That must be somewhere else. Don’t get me wrong, though. It was still an enjoyable experience, but I think I may have set my expectations too high.

 

Part of the grotto from above.

 

VAL003 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

And from sea level. I included the boat for scale.

 

VAL013 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

While the rest of the group returned, we had about a half-hour to check out the village on our own. There wasn’t much to explore, though, and I filled my time at a café with a Coke and some decent wifi signal.

 

From there, we headed east to Marsaxlokk, which we were told literally translates from Maltese as, “Southeast Port.” Marsaxlokk rings a small bay with some heavy industrial and maritime facilities on the outskirts. The village is a nice collection of old buildings with an outdoor market and hundreds of fishing boats, varying in size from large, diesel-powered boats to single-person dinghies. Most were painted in traditional colors and designs, with painted eyes on the bow. The sun was hit or miss; mostly missing, but it was a good stop in my book, due to the photo opportunities.

 

I loved this apartment building's colors.

 

VAL018 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

VAL021 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

The tour ended back near the pier and it was still a few hours before all-aboard time. We dumped my camera bag back on the ship and set out to explore the area. The main part of Valletta is atop a fortification and we chose the elevator over the stairs to get up to it, as we’d had our fill of climbing stairs. Right off the cannonade on the bluff, we found an English-language bookstore, which was fortunate, because I was about to finish the only book I brought. We wandered a little farther and stumbled across a store that sold blown glass and other tchotchkes. We picked up some trinkets for gifts and souvenirs before making our way back to the ship to get cleaned up for sail away.

 

We’d received another invitation to attend a sail away on the helipad. This time, it was for Concierge (and Aqua, I think) guests and was well-attended. The skies were still overcast and I don’t really consider Valletta a photogenic harbor, but it was nice to be out there, doing our “I’m the king of the world!” thing. As we sailed out, someone was launching fireworks from a barge in the harbor. They sounded more like flash-bang grenades, rather than celebratory fireworks. Never did find out why they were doing that, but I saw the park around the cannonade was packed with people, so it may have been a reenactment of some kind.

 

View of Valletta as we sailed out. The weather was "meh."

 

VAL037 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

The previous evening, we’d received a phone message that our Catania excursion was cancelled due to lack of participation. This was highly disappointing, because we were excited to take a 4x4 trip on Etna. We stopped by the Shore Excursions desk that evening and one of the crew said some of the others who were in our situation expressed interest in going on the excursion, anyway, even if we had to pay a little extra to meet the minimum. Not sure if I explained that clearly, but it was as though the vendor would go ahead with the scheduled tour if the rest of us would cough up the difference. But the Destination Concierge informed us on this evening that the vendor declined to do anything, which left us without an excursion. What really pissed us off was that all of the third-party vendors required a minimum 48-hour reservation and since we were well past that deadline, we were left with jumping on another Celebrity excursion or staying on the ship. We begrudgingly picked another Etna excursion, which I’ll go into on the Catania part of the review. Needless to say, we felt really let down by Celebrity, to the point that we’ll be exploring third-party excursions more thoroughly on future sailings.

 

Since we chose to attend the sail away on the helipad, we once again missed our dinner time at the MDR, but we weren’t planning to go, anyway, because it was Monday. “What’s special about Monday?” you might be asking. Mac & cheese special at Bistro On Five, of course! We both had the mac & cheese with French onion soup. I even went for a cookies & cream shake for dessert. The only problem was the portion was about half what it was the previous Monday and it didn't occur to us to order a second helping until after we left. We found ourselves grazing in the OVC not long after. I was happy to see the stir fry station up and running, as I think it’s one of the better features of their buffet. If you’re not familiar, it’s similar to the pasta station, where you pick your protein, noodles and mix-ins to suit your taste. I could eat that stir fry until the world looks level, but it didn’t take much to fill me up and it was off to bed.

[Host Jazzbeau]

Our scheduled excursion was to see the Blue Grotto and Marsaxlokk... We puttered into a couple of sea caves, turned around and headed back to the dock. What was I expecting? I expected the brilliant aqua pool, lit from above by the sun in a cave we’d have to lay down in the boat to fit through. I saw that in pictures on the internet. That must be somewhere else.

 

That would be the Blue Grotto on Capri. The EU should clamp down on name confusion like this [instead of hassling US producers of "feta" cheese]!

[Maligator]

That would be the Blue Grotto on Capri. The EU should clamp down on name confusion like this [instead of hassling US producers of "feta" cheese]!

"Azure Sea Caves" perhaps. :D

 

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

[Maligator]

Tuesday, September 8 / Catania, Sicily

WX: 80F + cloudy (in town) / 70F + cloudy (on Etna)

Also in port: none

 

We were up at 07:15 for our day’s excursion. As I alluded to above, we were on what we considered a consolation prize for our cancelled excursion. We settled on a “Mt Etna and Jewelry Shopping” just so we could get back up to the mountain. We’d been to Taormina on the previous cruise and didn’t feel like going back this time. Looking back on it, maybe we should have done that one, instead. I dreaded the “Jewelry Shopping” part, knowing it was going to be one of those sales pitch stops like Murano turned out to be.

 

The motor coach set out for Etna and we wound our way through the city and up the mountain. The guide was full of information about the mountain and Sicily’s history. Notice that I listed Catania as “Sicily” in the header for this section. Yes, Sicily is part of Italy, but the Sicilians will certainly be quick to tell you they’re “Sicilian,” rather than “Italian.” Anyway, the guide seemed to be very knowledgeable about geology, though she had a bit too much enthusiasm for old lava. “Look! Ladies and gentlemen! That’s lava on the left! Do you see it? It’s right there!”

 

When we reached our stop on Etna, it was at a little lodge a few hundred yards from where we stopped in 2012. Inside, we had complimentary cannoli and had the opportunity to make a pit stop. The mountain was socked-in with clouds and we only got the occasional glimpse of anything other than the immediate vicinity. When we reached the SIlvestri Craters, it became so cloudy we couldn’t see the other side of the big crater. It was also jam packed with tours from our ship and an unidentified MSC ship that must have been docked at Messina.

 

Look, ladies and gentlemen! Lava! Do you see it??!

 

CAT015 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

CAT013 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Leaving the mountain, we zigzagged down another route farther north and ended up in Giarre, where we were dropped off at a jewelry factory. Ugh. The place was nondescript and didn’t have any signage that I could see. It looked like a big house until you took a closer look and noticed the gates were solenoid-activated and cameras were everywhere. Inside was like an ornate vault. If you didn’t look, you might miss the security measures, like solid steel doors and thick glass windows. The rest of the place just felt to me like a wealthy distant relative's fussy Victorian mansion. We were first herded into a foyer, where the owner introduced himself and told us about the company. We were then led downstairs, where a man and a woman were busy making gold jewelry at their workbenches. One of the guides asked for someone to lend her their ring for a cleaning demonstration. It was hokey, but my wife jumped on the chance to get the build-up of cruise ship hand gel off her wedding ring. Our next stop was – in my mind – wholly unnecessary. We were herded into a room with a variety of snacky food (deli meats, cookies, cake, finger foods, drinks). This was apparently to give the previous group time to funnel through the sales floor, which was our next stop. Despite my extreme distaste for shopping excursions, we - well, my wife - did pick up a few things to bring home as Christmas and birthday gifts.

 

One of the jewelry craftsmen. I think this was the only photo I took here.

 

CAT016 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

As we were going to leave, the guide noted we were missing two people. She went back in and found they were waiting for a “quick” ring resizing that was going on 20 minutes. It was supposed to be about 20 minutes longer, so the guide had the bus driver take us on a 20 minute tour of Giarre. It was better than sitting there on the bus, staring at the wall. Once the stragglers were back with us, we were off and the driver took the long way getting through Catania before we were back to the port. We enjoyed the sail away from our veranda and noted that a torrential rain storm set in just minutes after we departed. Perfect timing!

 

Getting out of Dodge just in time.

 

CAT028 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Dinner was in the MDR. The lil missus had French onion soup, Ceasar, NY strip steak, and chocolate cheesecake, while I had the escargot, French onion, steak brochette and chocolate lava cake. A note on the steak brochette: it seemed the kitchen had some onions to get rid of, so they heaped them all on my plate. Understand that I don’t like onions. “But you keep ordering…” Yes, I love their French onion soup, but keep in mind it is basically beef stock with gruyere and the occasional big chunk of onion. This was steak a la onion farm. Once I found the beef and disinfected it of onion detritus, it was just fine.

 

Having the disappointment of our excursion experience and onion fiasco fresh in our minds, we looked forward to relaxing with the production show, “Celebrate the World” in the theater. Alas, the excursion may have been the day’s bright spot. I don’t know the ins and outs of how shows make it to the ships, but the ball was dropped on this one. It was so bad, I’m not sure which part was the worst. My first clue was the opening act, where a soloist butchered “One Night In Bangkok” in front of a video of Bangkok scenes projected on the backdrop. No costume. No decoration. Soon after was the Ireland act, which wasn’t much better. At least his outfit had some green on it. Again, there was a video of things that looked Irish that played while he sang. The act finished with an attempt at step dancing that I didn’t think looked very polished. It was better than I could do, but I don’t dance for a living. Perhaps the worst offender was the United States act. I knew we were in trouble when the performers came on stage wearing tasseled shirts and baggy blue jeans. The ladies that followed were in similar outfits, but in more of a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader look. Whoever chose the songs apparently did so by skimming the back of a “Greatest Country Western Hits of the 1980’s” cassette. The most recent song was 20 years old and was originally performed by a Canadian (Shania Twain). At least they didn’t line dance.

 

Between a disappointing excursion, a bad evening show, and a plate of onions, we were ready for this day to be over.

[Maligator]

Wednesday, September 9 / Naples

WX: 75F + cloudy

Also in port: Silver Wind, Viking Star

 

(We're in the home stretch! If you've hung in this far, I'm not sure what's wrong with you, but I like it. Give yourself a pat on the back!)

 

A quarter past six in the morning is not a time I’m used to seeing, whether at home or on vacation. While I did suffer with it, the early hour did offer the chance to witness a fairly amazing sunrise. We were still entering the harbor as I stepped out on the veranda and Vesuvius was silhouetted against a broken layer of altocumulus to the east. The sun had yet to appear over the mountains, so the first rays cast a brilliant pink glow across the clouds, against a deep blue sky. It was fairly stunning.

 

NAP001 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

My source for port schedules on the internet showed no one else in port with us today, but some of the smaller, luxury lines don’t always show up. Such was the case on this day, as Silver Wind followed us in and Viking’s brand new non-river ship berthed across the pier from us as we ate breakfast.

 

Our day’s excursion was a boat ride from Salerno to Amalfi, with a visit to Pompeii. We saw (or thought we did) Pompeii in 2012, but were willing to give it another shot. What I did not want was to spend the whole day on a bus. We started out on a coach to Salerno with our day’s guide, Karim. Despite his name and apparent Middle Eastern heritage, I think he was a Neapolitan, through and through. I found him very personable and he brimmed with useful and interesting information during the trip. The ride to Salerno was less than an hour through rather mundane countryside. In Salerno, we found waiting at the pier a sleek, large double-decker launch that I looked forward to riding. But arriving at the pier was the boat we’d actually be taking, which was not as sleek or large. It was like being teased with a Mercedes convertible only to be handed the keys to an '89 Corolla. Once on-board, we made our way to the top deck and all was fine. It was windy and there was a fair amount of chop that would occasionally give those of us on the unprotected upper deck a misting of sea spray.

 

About half an hour later, we debarked and Karim led us into the heart of Amalfi. He gave us some suggestions on how to spend our time, then set us free to explore. My wife and I started with the Amalfi Cathedral, as it was right in front of us. We knew nothing about the place, except that it was big and had some nice mosaic work on the facade. We paid the meager entry fee that gave us access to the entire facility. Part of it was a museum, containing old relics (but not really a reliquary, I don't think) and preserved pieces of the original church. “Wow,” I thought, “They really like St Andrew in this place.” Soon after, I realized why. He’s interred in a crypt below the church. His actual remains are secured under a silver hubcap, but the room where he lies is a must-see if you find yourself in Amalfi and like ornate decor. After the church, we wandered aimlessly and browsed a couple of stores and I picked up some souvenirs for the guys at work. One of the stores had painted tiles and one design was the famous “CAVE CANEM” (“beware of dog”) mosaic I later learned was at Pompeii. Everyone met up at the designated time and place and we took the same boat back that brought us over. As the boat took us back to Salerno, the sun tried to break through the overcast and the remainder of the day had peeks of sun through the gloom.

 

Vietri sul Mare, on the outskirts of Salerno.

 

NAP004 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Bell tower and mosaic facade of the Amalfi Cathedral.

 

NAP025 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

NAP043 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

The coach took us to Pompeii, where we were herded into a cameo factory outside the main gate. This one was easy to avoid and we chose to stand outside in the plaza while others browsed the shop.

 

The next stop was a restaurant a block from the gate, where we were served a salad, spinach cannelloni and some kind of apple tart. We sat with a young newlywed couple from Toronto and had a great time.

 

Karim took us through a different gate than our 2012 guide had. Going through the Sea Gate, we saw the “CAVE CANEM” mosaic I mentioned earlier, which I didn’t know was Pompeian. Karim also took us through some other sites that the 2012 guide did not and I was glad we took the tour. Not that our previous visit was lacking. It showed us the gladiator school and brothel, which were on the far side of the site and not covered by Karim. But I was glad to see different things. Were we to go back to Naples, I think we might pick a different tour, having pretty thoroughly covered Pompeii.

 

NAP069 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

NAP077 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Back at the ship, we started packing, as this was the day before disembarkation and our suitcases were supposed to be placed outside our doors later in the evening. Again, I realized just how much I overpacked for this trip. We sent our laundry out a total of four times this sailing and even though we were burning through two changes of clothes per day, I think I needed about half of what I packed.

 

We had a couple of cocktails at OV Bar, but I Wayan was off-duty. We had our final dinner in the MDR. Kristi (her real name) had the French onion, Ceasar, flounder and final chocolate cheesecake for the year. I had my last escargot and French onion, the flounder and chocolate fondant.

 

After browsing the last-chance sales at the boutiques, we stopped back by the OV Bar. I Wayan was there and we showed our appreciation with a little cash gratuity. Our British friends were there again and we chatted for a couple of hours before heading back to the cabin to go to bed.

[Barwick Cruiser]

I've been enjoying your pics and review very much and just reading this latest post has me feeling that "end of cruise" sadness...nothing makes it better unless you have another cruise booked!!

 

Thanks for letting us all follow along on your cruise vacation!

Cathy

[dodger1964]

Great review...thanks for taking the time...been to a couple of the stops you reviewed and it brings back fond memories!

[Diver2014]

Thanks for the memories! I haven't been to Venice & Florence since 1972 and by golly, the buildings look the same! So do the crowds of people. We've been on 2 Med cruises going to Dubrovnik and Sicily so it was nice to relive the memories! We're on the Connie Feb 2016 so hopefully our experience will be half as good as yours. Thanks for the entertaining review. Sure beats reading about all the 'horrible' experiences other CC posters seem to dwell upon.

[groryjm]

Matt

 

Thoroughly enjoying your review and avidly taking notes as we are doing the same itinerary next year:cool:

 

Feeling for your end of cruise blues but glad to see you have the Equinox booked for next year:). It does make the last day better if you know you'll be back;)

[Maligator]

Thank you all for the feedback! I post these because I rely on such reports when researching future cruises. I'm glad y'all are enjoying.

 

I have a couple more days to post (both in Rome) with one coming up in a few minutes.

[peteukmcr]

Thanks for your review. We boarded Constellation the day you disembarked for our very first Celebrity sailing.

[Maligator]

Thursday, September 10 / Civitavecchia to Rome

WX: 70F + clear (Civitavecchia) / 80F + clear (Rome)

Also in port: Viking Star, Island Princess, Allure OTS

 

Wanting to avoid the crowd, we were up at 07:00 to catch breakfast at the buffet. While I waited for my bride to get ready, I stood on the veranda and checked out Island Princess (remember…I’m a ship nerd, too), which alternates with Emerald Princess in the winter, sailing out of Houston. Wonder if they’d let us go back with them? As I nerded, Allure OTS sailed between us, dwarfing both Emerald and Constellation. She just….kept….coming. But it was breakfast time and we needed to get going.

 

Viking Star

 

ROM001 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Camera Sherpa checking out Allure OTS

 

ROM003 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Following my last heaping plate of waffles with whipped cream and strawberries, with a mound of crispy bacon, we bade farewell to I Wayan and headed down to Cellar Masters, which was reserved for Concierge guests. During this sailing, we finally hit the Elite tier and on the way out, we were issued my Elite monocle and her opera glasses. ;) As we were not taking a Celebrity transfer, we were in Group 32, but didn’t have to wait very long before our number was called. Disembarkation was a breeze and we had our suitcases in minutes.

 

Months before we left, I’d coordinated with fellow Cruise Critic, Jeff/Sabeco and his wife, who were looking for another couple to share their hotel’s shuttle van. We met up with them right outside the tent and within minutes, our driver found us. This was much easier than 2012, when my wife and I struggled to drag three suitcases and two backpacks through the streets of Civitavecchia to the train station. The trip into Rome seemed about the same duration either way, but having a van at the pier was exponentially better. It also relieved us of the hassle of navigating the Termini, where we’d have to hail a cab, anyway. I was aware Celebrity had a shuttle to Rome, but it only went to Celebrity's partner hotels, neither of which were walking distance from the center of Rome.

 

We arrived at the Hotel Indigo – St George around 10:00 and paid our share of the fare, plus tip. Check-in was without a hitch, but our room wouldn’t be ready until 11:00. We left our suitcases and Camera Sherpa took the first shift carrying the camera backpack as we set out to explore Rome. Three years ago, we relied on Rick Steves to guide us through the main attractions. Besides having already seen the Spanish Steps and Trevi Fountain, the latter was being renovated (big surprise, something being under scaffolding). We walked to the Piazza Navona, then on to the Pantheon, where my wife found her favorite little Murano glass boutique. We took a meandering route in a generally-southeast direction, heading toward the Knights of Malta compound on Aventine Hill to see the famous keyhole view.

 

Basilica Sant'Andrea della Valle, between the Pantheon and Campo di Fiori

 

ROM013 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

ROM015 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

The temperature was pleasant enough and the route we took along the east bank of the Tiber was lined with massive sycamores that offered us plenty of shade. On the way, we paused to check out the old synagogue, but didn’t try to go inside. We found it interesting that despite their supposed acceptance of the Jews, the Romans contained them in the area immediately around the synagogue and had small chapels at each gate. The one we saw had a large painting of Christ on the cross and something inscribed underneath in Hebrew. The Rick Steves guide said this was propaganda directed at converting the Jews to Catholicism.

 

Campo di Fiori

 

ROM019 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

 

(continued in next post)

[Maligator]

Matt

 

Thoroughly enjoying your review and avidly taking notes as we are doing the same itinerary next year:cool:

 

Feeling for your end of cruise blues but glad to see you have the Equinox booked for next year:). It does make the last day better if you know you'll be back;)

 

I'm sure you'll enjoy it. I hope the weather is a bit cooler, though.

 

Thanks for your review. We boarded Constellation the day you disembarked for our very first Celebrity sailing.

 

I left it in ship-shape just for you. :D

[Maligator]

(continued from previous post)

 

Ponte Palatino over the Tiber. The big tower to the right of center is the top of the old synagogue.

 

ROM022 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

A few minutes later, we walked up a steep alley that we almost missed, had it not been for our handy tourist map. I am completely serious when I say the best map of Rome (assuming you’re not burning through mobile data on your phone) is the tourist map they hand out at every hotel. Unfortunately, the tourist map cuts off right at the Knights of Malta, so I had to pull out the phone to finish the route. We stopped at the Church of Santa Sabina, which is essentially next door to the Knights’ compound. I highly recommend stopping in if you’re into old Roman churches. Not only is it ancient (dates back to the Fifth Century; although the current manifestation is a few centuries newer), the interior is fascinating. While there’s not much to the furnishings, the ceiling is made up of hundreds of wooden tiles, each with a relief scene.

 

The hidden alleyway. A few minutes after I took this shot, a group of nuns (flock?) came up the hill, singing. How perfectly Roman.

 

ROM023 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Basilica of Santa Sabina.

 

ROM024 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

We finally tracked down the keyhole in the Piazza de Cavalieri di Malta, where the Via di Santa Sabina peters out. The keyhole to which I refer is in a big, green double door off the Piazza. If you’re there during the day and the weather is decent, there will probably be a line. Look through the keyhole and you have a perfect view of the dome of St Peter’s Basilica, framed by neatly-trimmed hedges that form a kind of tunnel. I had to go back a few times to get the photos I wanted, as getting my camera to focus the way I wanted it took some effort and time. I never did get my phone to pull it off. But it was worth the stop and the hike.

 

The keyhole shot!

 

ROM029 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

ROM028 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

(back with more in two shakes)

[Maligator]

(still plugging away at Rome from the previous posts)

 

By this point, it was after 14:00 and I was getting “hangry.” I plotted a route that took us through Trastevere, rather than retracing our earlier route. Along the way, I ducked into a sandwich shop, where the wife and I had ham & mozzarella panini and Cokes. Refreshed and in a much better mood, we plodded on, eventually coming to the Basilica di Santa Maria in Trastevere. The interior is absolutely amazing, with gold leaf and enormous, intricate tile mosaics.

 

Santa Maria in Trastavere

 

ROM032 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

ROM036 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

ROM031 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

We made it back to the hotel, where we freshened up in the room and ditched my camera bag. For the remainder of the day, I carried my rig on my shoulder and one additional lens in my shorts pocket. I’d had it with the big bag.

 

Our room at the Hotel Indigo - St George. We were half a block from the Tiber and the bridge to Vatican City, a block from Corso Vittorio Emanuele II, ten minute walk from Piazza Navona. The rooftop restaurant and bar has a perfect view of the dome of St Peter's.

 

ROM039 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Inside Santa Maria in Vallicella.

 

ROM043 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Tomb of St Philip Neri, Santa Maria in Vallicella.

 

ROM042 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

(continued)

[Maligator]

(still going overboard with the Rome stuff)

 

Heading back out, we cut through the Piazza Navona and down the Corse to Trajan’s Column, where our evening tour of ancient Rome was to begin. We were more than an hour early, but we needed the rest. My phone has a fitness tracker built into it and it had all kinds of alerts about meeting this goal and that, setting personal records and the like. I was actually a little disappointed it hadn’t cautioned me to take a break. “Whoa, tiger! Take a breather before you keel over!”

 

It turned out that most of the other folks gathered in the little park next to the column were also on our tour. The guide took us across the front of the Vittorio Emanuele II monument, explaining all the symbolism of the statues and such. We went up the adjacent steps to the Capitoline Hill, through the square with the statue of Marcus Aurelius. The guide took us to an overlook behind City Hall to familiarize us with the Forum before leading us down the Via dei Fori Imperiali to the Colosseum. The Colosseum is closed in the evenings, unless you’re with a guided tour. After hours of hiking, I was just about spent. But it was cool to see the place lit up at night.

 

The not-at-all-ostentatious Vittorio Emanuele II monument.

 

ROM051 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

The Roman Forum at dusk. It was actually darker than this looks, but my camera is really, really good at low-light.

 

ROM056 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Trajan's Column

 

ROM057 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

The Colosseum

 

ROM058 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

ROM061 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Fisheye shot of the tunnel leading to the floor of the Colosseum.

 

ROM064 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

The tour wrapped up a little after 21:30 and we caught a cab back to the hotel. I picked the Hotel Indigo for a few reasons, among which was the view of St Peter’s from the rooftop restaurant. We were supposed to have made reservations for dinner, but forgot to do so. The staff accommodated us anyway. The restaurant was open-air and covered. It was on the sixth floor (or what would have been the sixth floor) and offered a near-360 degree view of the neighborhood. Most of it was pitch dark, but the dome was lit. We each had the lasagna and split a cheese plate. After dinner, I came back up with my camera and tripod to take some long-exposure shots of the dome, which is why I wanted rooftop access in the first place.

 

After a long, hot shower, I collapsed on the bed out of exhaustion. One of the things our tour guides have always pointed out in Rome is that many of the sites were destroyed by people scavenging material, like travertine, metal, etc to build other things. Case in point was our bed, which must have been a repurposed slab of marble. I’ve never slept on a harder surface. And I’ve slept on concrete floors in my time.

[Maligator]

Might as well knock out the rest of Rome since I have the time.

 

Friday, September 11 / Rome

WX: 75F + partly cloudy with showers

 

We were awake at 08:00 and the Indigo allowed us to store our luggage with them after we checked out. They wanted 20 euros, each, for breakfast, which we found absurd, so we decided to find breakfast in the neighborhood. Not far was a little bakery, where we filled up on pastries and Coke for under 10 euros, total. Back at the hotel, we grabbed a cab that just dropped off her fare and she whisked us away to a tour agency near Termini.

 

Our tour for the day was to visit the catacombs and Appian Way with a tour arranged through our travel agent. There were three other couples in the tour and one of those had two teenagers. Our guide was an American woman who’s been in Italy for the last ten years. She was very personable and her spiel had some humor thrown in, though it sounded like she’d been doing this routine every day for years. She soon told us she does this tour every day and has been doing so for years. Damn, I’m good. Our ride was the equivalent of an airport shuttle bus and was driven by an older gentleman who didn’t believe in air conditioning.

 

After 20 minutes, we arrived at the San Callisto Catacombs on the southern outskirts of Rome. I was disappointed when we were told there could be no photos, as this was considered an active Catholic church. Turns out there wasn’t a whole lot of photographic value down there, anyway. It was dark and after seeing a few empty holes cut in the walls, I felt like I’d seen them all. The benefit of the tour was the back story provided by the guide, rather than photo ops. Anyone visiting and expecting to see bones will be disappointed. The Capuchin ossuary in the Barberini neighborhood of Rome is the place to go for that.

 

Back on the bus, we next visited the Via Appia Antica (Appian Way) and were given a few minutes to check out the remains of the Church of St Nicholas and the ruins of a mausoleum across the road.

 

Via Appia Antica

 

ROM070 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Church of St Nicholas

 

ROM072 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

We made one more stop, which was at a section of aqueduct. There wasn’t much to it, though it was nice to see.

 

Aqua Claudia (the aqueducts had names)

 

ROM076 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

The bus then took us back to the tour office. We were just a few blocks from Termini and the National Museum of Rome. The weather was starting to decline and we made it inside just as the rain hit. The museum contains hundreds of ancient statues, carvings, mosaics, and other items found during excavations and construction. For example, when the Termini was constructed, the crews uncovered a previously-unknown villa that was remarkably well-preserved. Pieces of walls and decorations were assembled in the museum as they were found.

 

Mosaic of Medusa, Roman National Museum

 

ROM077 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

My wife, unintentionally rendering this shot of the Discus Thrower safe for forum posting.

 

ROM087 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

Second Century carved marble sarcophagus of a Roman cavalry commander.

 

ROM091 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

 

It was still raining when we came out and we dashed between the raindrops to the Termini to catch a cab to the Piazza Navona. The tour guide told us about a Murano glass shop just off the piazza we wanted to check out. The rain that was drenching Termini was apparently headed toward Piazza Navona, as the drops began to fall almost as soon as we arrived. I was getting hungry, so to avoid another Snickers Diva event, we stopped for a pizza and cannoli. As we sat, the rain shower became torrential and it was soon raining like a cow peeing on a flat rock. People packed the patio of the pizzeria and I saw a guy handing out brochures with photos of glasswork. He came by our table and told us his shop was right around the corner.

 

A couple hundred euros later, we had bags of Murano glass trinkets and hiked back to the hotel to retrieve our bags. In 2012, we stayed at the Hilton at Fiumicino, which made our travel day much less hectic. We took a cab this time (rather than the airport express train from Termini), which probably took longer than normal, as we were doing this at rush hour on a Friday. Still, we weren’t in any hurry, so we didn’t feel rushed. At the hotel, we were told our reservation had been upgraded to their Executive floor, due to my wife’s Hilton Honors status. It got us a room with an upgraded bathroom (that was the only difference I could tell from our last stay), but we had access to the lounge, which had free snacks, a light dinner buffet, breakfast bar and drinks.

[Maligator]

Saturday, September 12 / Rome to Houston

WX: 75F + clear (Rome)

 

Our flight wasn’t scheduled to leave until noon, so we took our time waking up and getting ourselves checked out. We hit the lounge for breakfast on the way out and took the shuttle van to the US international terminal.

 

For those who have yet to enjoy FCO, all the US airlines (and El Al) get to enjoy their own terminal for the screening and check-in. And by “enjoy” I mean “suffer.” The first pain in the butt is a line that looks like you’re checking in with a counter agent. You are not. This is simply where the first person scans your boarding passes and compares them to your passports. They also have you place all chargers and electronic cables in plastic baggies for screening. Why? Beats me. But it’s their sandbox. Passing that obstacle, you’re confronted by another person who looks at your boarding pass to make sure you’re on a US airline. Whatever. You then get to join the queue for a counter agent. Despite it being a United counter, all the agents wore the green jackets and nametags of Alitalia. Of course, they check your passport and boarding pass. Having been relieved of our luggage at the counter, we were on to yet another choke point, where a security person looks at your passport and boarding pass. Then you get to the x-ray machine. Getting past the x-ray, you’re ready to find your gate, right? Wrong. Your next step is onto a bus that takes you to the international terminal. Ugh.

 

Your standard United 777 holds about 260 people. The gate area had about 150 seats. However, this isn’t that big a deal, since folks feel the need to start lining up as though the plane will leave without them. We stood. And we stood. And we stood some more. Twenty minutes after boarding was supposed to commence, we were still standing when one of the Alitalia-nee-United counter agents announced there was a delay due to a security sweep. We finally boarded, but not after the gate agent checked passports against boarding passes, followed by another toad who simply looks at passports. If you’re keeping score at home, that was seven people who wanted to see our passports and/or boarding passes. Unreal. I can only surmise there was a security threat we weren’t informed about. If not, they have a horrible redundancy issue.

 

Our seats were in the first row of Economy Plus, behind a bulkhead that separated the proletariat from the Business First. We were on the starboard side again and the first row on our side had an aisle seat missing. The conga line for take-off was another half-hour, but we finally departed an hour late.

 

The flight was smooth and I passed the time watching Chappie, Tomorrowland and the new Mad Max flick. Despite the delay in departure, we made up the time in the air and landed in Chicago on-time. Upon arrival, my phone chimed with a text message from United, telling me that an air traffic control issue was responsible for the delay in Rome. Sure it was.

 

Our new Global Entry cards really paid off. Despite having never been through the process before, it was self-explanatory, though I wasn’t prepared and the photo it took of me was of my receded hairline and ample forehead. The baggage handlers saw to it that any time we saved with Global Entry was erased by unloading our bags in the absolute last batch. We passed the time chatting with a guy from our cruise and watching the FDA beagle root through bags. After re-checking our suitcases, we took the train to our terminal, breezed through the Pre-Check line and had enough time to split a pizza before the flight to Houston.

 

We arrived home at 21:45 in Terminal E and I’d forgotten that E arrivals have to schlep to C’s baggage claim. Not their best move. We took a cab home and arrived to three grateful mutts and my mother-in-law. Exhausted, we kicked the mother-in-law out and went to bed.

[Maligator]

RATINGS

 

Celebrity Constellation: A. If she were an actress, she'd be Sandra Bullock - a little older, but still in damn fine shape. I saw no signs that she was as old as she is. There were little hints of age here and there, but who doesn’t show age? Someone was always cleaning, painting, or otherwise doing something to maintain her.

 

Cabin Staff: A. Both of the guys did a bang-up job. I did have to ask for my wife’s beloved towel critters, but that’s not a big deal in the end. They had ice for us twice a day without our request, which was a nice touch.

 

Condition of Cabin #9164: A. I didn't see much that needed attention, as far as upkeep. There was a mystery stain in the carpet between the bed and the bathroom wall that I couldn't identify. It looked like maybe something in the bathroom backed up a while back and ran out into the room. There was no smell, though. The bathroom was miles better than the FV we had last year on Summit.

 

Hotel Staff: A+. They were everywhere! Even the senior officers were ever-present. And they finally found some security staff with a sense of humor! Not rubber chickens humor, but not stoic automatons, either.

 

MDR Food: A. I don’t recall any true problems with the food. My escargot was lukewarm a couple of nights, but I’m not one to gripe about that. I wouldn’t mention it here, but it was the only thing I remember not being spot-on. Maybe the onion dish.

 

MDR Staff: A (waiter) / A+ (assistant). I'm sure if we’d been in the MDR more, we’d have connected better with the waiter. But his assistant was a superstar.

 

Oceanview Food and Facility: A. We found the selection and variety satisfactory. We really enjoyed the waffle and omelet stations at breakfast. The stir fry station was my favorite Oceanview spot and the desserts were out of the ordinary, even when they were ordinary.

 

Oceanview Service: A. Bar servers again were on the sparse side when we needed them, but I’m not sure how to remedy that. When I did see them, they were actively looking for tables to serve. Their rounds just didn’t jive with our needs. Tables were cleared quickly.

 

Specialty Restaurants: A+. Tuscan and Ocean Liners were their usual best. The Ocean Liners staff were fine, but not as personable as we’ve had in the past in their counterpart restaurants on other ships. The food was perfect, though some of the portions could be enlarged (I’m looking at you, scallop Wellington).

 

Theater Entertainment: B-. Judging only the shows we attended, I’d have given an A, if not for the dismal “Celebrate the World” and stale “Liar’s Club” routine. Lose the former and freshen the latter and all would have been fine.

 

On-board Activities: B. Except for the galley tour, I don’t think we did anything else. With only one sea day, there wasn’t much opportunity, otherwise. As I mentioned, the galley tour gets shorter and shorter each time.

 

Excursions: C. The Murano flop, disappointing Malta tour, and the infuriating experience with having our Catania excursion cancelled really soured us on ship excursions. I’ll be exploring third-party options from here on out.

 

Itinerary: A-. The itinerary is what it is. There were no surprises. The ports were fine, but I think we’d have traded a port or two for additional sea days. Malta and Catania come to mind as sea days.

 

CONCLUSION

 

This may have been our least favorite of our five cruises. But that's not to say we didn't enjoy it or wish we hadn't gone. Like an old coworker used to say about sex, “Even when it’s not the greatest, it’s still pretty good.” Perhaps if we’d arrived a day early (or if my wife hadn’t been so stingy with her sleeping pills), we’d have been better rested.

 

I hope you enjoyed my review as much as I enjoyed sharing it. Click on any of the links in my signature for similar reviews and photo albums. :)

[Texed]

Mr. Hickory,

 

Thanks for posting. :)