How much lead time would you want if invited to a cruise wedding?

[Momto3girlsintheCarolinas]

Hello, all!

 

My daughter and her husband eloped, but also want a cruise wedding.  Most sites say you must give guests 3-4 months' notice.  That doesn't seem like nearly enough. 

 

Each guest would pay for their cruise fare and travel to the port.  Please make no comments about how the bride and groom should pay everyone's way; I agree.  But that is not possible.  The guest list is only the parents and siblings of the bride and groom and their spouses.

 

Folks need time to save money and to arrange time off.  Fares are often less expensive when booked many months in advance.  We have never booked a cruise less than a year in advance.  I also want cabins close together.  

 

If you were expected to join a cruise wedding as a guest, how much lead time would you need?

 

TIA!!

[staceyglow]

The more time the better.  Doesn't need to be more specific than that.  

 

Three to four months is definitely not enough time.  People who are having a traditional wedding send out "save the date" cards further in advance than that.  IMO it's pretty inconsiderate for the couple to plan a destination wedding with that little time to plan.  

 

What would happen if you just say "I can't go at that time"?  Would they change their plans, or have the wedding without you?

Edited January 1 by staceyglow

[Saint Greg]

I am not a cruise wedding expert by any means.But just what I know about people. Not us, normal people. I would say at least six months if you want them to consider it. A year if you actually want them to come. 

[mz-s]

3-4 months is fine if you are just inviting people as a formality and you don't actually want them to come, I guess.

[Theosprey247]

I would say 1 year.  Don’t know why, but I feel that gives people enough time to pay for travel expenses (if any) and cruise costs. And maybe save vacation time.  

[edspec]

18 minutes ago, Saint Greg said:

Not us, normal people.

Excellent point @Saint Greg

Edited January 1 by edspec
Messed up quote

[pe4all]

I know the "new" thing is to send out "save the date" cards.  My dd did this.  Sent them out as soon as they settled on a date/venue.  Was around 1 year in advance.  My thought is to send this out to whoever they are thinking of inviting asap to give them a heads up and time to save if they are interested in coming.

[luv2kroooz]

12 months.

[FTLCruiseGal]

@Saint Greg nailed it right on the head. 

[haehaehaley]

I got married on a cruise in April of this year. We gave our guests 7 months notice. We did ask our parents and siblings first about the date since we wanted to be sure they could make it. After we made sure our families could come we booked and then invited friends to come. We had 35 people go. 

Edited January 1 by haehaehaley

[VentureMan_2000]

4 hours ago, Momto3girlsintheCarolinas said:

  The guest list is only the parents and siblings of the bride and groom and their spouses.

 

 

I'd leave it an open invitation since it's just close family.  If they can make it, great.  If not, great just the same.

My wife and I booked a cruise last May 2023... and just let family members know of the cruise we booked -- that they were free to join us on the cruise.  Didn't make it into a "Group" thing where we all had to agree on the cruise date and destination. Nine family members ended up joining us.

We again did the same... booked a cruise for June 2024.  Nine family members ended up joining us for this cruise.

In short, just book the cruise you want... try to pick a reasonable future cruise date that is likely to entice the family wedding invites to consider joining you.  If no one can join, shouldn't be an issue as you're on a cruise.

[Drazil65]

Whether you send out save the date cards or just make the decision and book the cruise, extend the invite and whomever can make it then that is who will be there.  Just dont be upset if people cannot come for whatever reason, many people cannot do destination weddings.   

[Nic6318]

Hi

 

I would go along with about a year would be reasonable just to give people the time needed to get things in place if they did want to attend. 

 

I am not really a fan of the idea of a destination wedding, this would seem to fall into a similar category. 

 

If it was just something like, "We are getting married, and will go on a cruise right after. Join us on the cruise if you like." I think that would be quite different than asking people to "Join us on a cruise, where/when we will be getting married." This (for me) would be more for family and close friends, more than the former invitation. 

 

Just thinking if any insurance would cover a cancellation if the couple changed their mind. 😀

[sgttami]

I got a verbal SAVE THE DATE for a cruise wedding exactly a year ahead of time. Nice to have that time frame to decide/plan to go.

 

Six months later the couple called it off and parted ways.

 

I must have had a sixth sense about it and never did book when I got the save the date.

[haehaehaley]

22 hours ago, haehaehaley said:

I got married on a cruise in April of this year. We gave our guests 7 months notice. We did ask our parents and siblings first about the date since we wanted to be sure they could make it. After we made sure our families could come we booked and then invited friends to come. We had 35 people go. 

I’ll expand on this and say that we did send out actual save the dates. But only to those we knew were going or to those that said they were interested. We invited 40 people and 35 came. We were surprised so many came so you just ever know until you ask. 

[ARcruisin2]

Since it's just family going, I would suggest getting folks together in person or on zoom to discuss. Ask them to come prepared with at least 1) if they are interested 2)what dates they are already committed 3)how much lead time they need to get off from work. Tell everyone up front, no hard feelings if you can't go, but we wanted to give you the opportunity and would love to celebrate the occasion with you. 

 

That will give you a feel for who's really interested and how far to plan out. You'll never please or accommodate everyone, but hopefully you can find the sweet spot. 🙂

 

I'm actually glad you said each will have to pay their own way, because if the couple paid and someone didn't show up, that could cause long-term relationship damage.

 

Also, I've read stories on here on difficulties being the coordination person. I would suggest once the date is set, call a Carnival PVP, or a travel agent to help choose a cruise with cabins available close together. Then give contact information to family and tell them it's their responsibility to confirm and pay directly.

- If there are enough cabins needed to book as a group(8 i think) you can ask about group perks and discounts.