Winning isn’t Everything – Celebrity Mercury, 5/8 Mexico to Alaska

[bepsf]

As some of you may recall, I won this cruise from Travelocity and Celebrity back in June of last year - you can search back for the "I Won?" threads for some background.

 

Had a great flight on Southwest Airlines – I was one of the last to board and I was still able to slide into an aisle seat! I enjoyed more legroom than United standard Economy for nearly $300 less! I may be flying SA more often…

 

Hotel Coral in Ensenada http://www.hotelcoral.com is on the main highway just before you pull into town. The resort is still relatively new and well maintained. Anyone who knows me will recall that I have a bit of a bathroom fetish, and this one scores fairly well: it was very spacious, with venetian stucco and limestone tile walls, and a super-deep soaking tub! The staff were gracious and friendly, the prices were very reasonable, the food was good – lots of open and enclosed pools and Jacuzzis, a spa and great scenery beautiful gardens and manicured grounds - it’s simply the best hotel in Ensenada (which is a simple feat, considering…)

 

Celebrity arranged for pre-boarding check-in at the Hotel Coral – which made it super-convenient for us, as there are no facilities at the pier. As we enjoyed a late breakfast in the dining room, we saw several folks in blue-blazers enter: these were the folks who were bussed down from SD that am to check us in. Very nice personable ladies – just seemed a shame that they had to pay for their own meals out of their pockets (they were on RCCL time, after all) Meanwhile, we learned (from a very loud man shouting into his cellphone at an adjacent table) that the computers were delayed in being brought down to the hotel (you’d think that this would have been taken care of – oh, the night before?) So although busses began arriving from SD airport, their cruise passengers were forced to sit inside and wait before being allowed to enter the hotel to check in. Lines in the check-in room (one of the ballrooms of the hotel) were extremely short, as they never let anyone off busses before the previous group was pretty much done. The ship didn’t pull into Ensenada harbor until well after 2pm (as scheduled) tho RCCL did not discourage pax from boarding busses and being forced to wait at the cruise pier for sometimes nearly 3 hours! Scotty and I sat in the lobby talking to folks and looking out the windows at the harbor to see when the ship would arrive – other pax took off running for the busses to the pier when they saw Mercury arrive in the harbor – they too would have to wait until after 4pm to begin boarding her.

 

Since we had luggage w/ us, Scotty and I took a taxi to the pier - $6+tip. After a short wait in line, we finally boarded where there were trays of 1/2 full champagne glasses

(An RCCL cost-cutting measure?) We were shown to our stateroom - #9234 is a Category 4 outside stateroom on Vista Deck near the stern (and the Kids Fun Factory) Tiny isn’t the word for it: less than 200 sf contain two hanging closets flanking a central closet w/ shelves and shallow drawers opposite a bathroom that couldn’t have been more than 3 1/2 feet by 6 1/2 feet – shower only. Lots of nice white tile – but it must have the highest threshold known to man – like mounting a steep staircase to enter the bathroom. Of course, the thresholds say “Watch Your Step” – that helps a lot when your hands are full of toiletries or the room is dark… No medicine cabinet, just a couple corner glass shelves and a super-shallow cabinet built-in beneath the sink. Tiny TV is in a corner above a recalcitrant electro-safe and a perma-locked minibar at the end of the wardrobes. Two concave sub-twin beds are side by side, and what would call we at home a chair-and-a-half contains a fold-out futon. A filthy glass window admits dim sunlight, but can be covered by floor to ceiling draperies. Floor to ceiling mirrors are on the wall opposite the beds to help convince you that you’re not sleeping in a walk-in closet. The first order of business was to tell the steward to put some mattress pads on the beds (why we should have to do this on a ‘premium’ line is a mystery to me) Socorro is a great room steward – always smiling and friendly. The room is clean and neat, if shabbier than a second-rate Mexican hotelroom…

 

I had heard horror stories about the Maitre’d – so when I saw him and his entourage in the Palm Springs Café (Lido Café equivalent for HAL-ers) – I walked up, introduced myself and told him that I needed to make some table arrangements. Without a greeting or addressing me personally, he told one of his minions to take me downstairs to another room where his ass’t was efficiently making dinner-seating arrangements. (“Nice to meet you too”)

 

Incidentally, the Palm Springs Café is a miserable place to attempt to find friends during lunch/breakfast. The seating areas are divided into several mirrored window-bays rather than rows of tables - resulting in not everyone getting a view of the ocean and finding friends near impossible. The buffet lines are loooong, the drinks stations are crowded because of the lack of space between the buffet lines – then the Palm Springs Terrace is aft, under a magro-dome and holding a pasta/pizza bar and an indoor pool with some sort of volcano-water-feature that doesn’t work and is always roped-off.

 

The only Jacuzzis are located amidships in the pool area – which has no magrodome and is therefore only usable in temperate weather. The four outdoor jacuzzis are on strange pedestal-type stages – where the cold Pacific layer made it very uncomfortable to stay for long. When you’d push the button to make the tub Jacuzzi, Coooold airbubbles made the already luke-warm water colder. I guess this is to encourage folks to pay the $20/day to use the T-pool – which is located in the spa complex under a steel roof that looks like it may have had an interesting indirect lighting arrangement at one time, but it doesn’t work anymore and several other downlights were burnt-out and lenses broken… The changing areas are a bit small – lockers have no keys (but a large “we’re not responsible” sign makes everything better) - a single open shower means no privacy to rinse off post-massage/sauna/etc, but a B&W photograph of a nude woman’s behind makes it pretty. The whole spa/gym area is tattered and worn, w/ torn seats on the Nautilus machinery, broken/missing faucets in the steamroom, dingy cushions on the chaises – but a few rosepetals on the floors, large faux-floral arrangements a piece of “artwork” from the auction (one of those pseudo-chalkdrawings of nude lovers mating in a gilded frame – Perfect!)– and tons of jasmine aroma enliven the atmosphere, except in the T-pool where the water smells neither like seawater, nor clean – it smells musty and so do you when you get out.

 

As we sailed north, I realized that I’d never felt so claustrophobic or bored on any ship ever. For a sea day, there were no published activities that didn’t involve spending money, being told how to spend money, or arranging to drink yourself silly. It wasn’t till we arrived in SF that the daily schedule included ping-pong tournaments and various trivia/quizzes for a day in port. We did witness one droning acupuncture seminar in the Navigators Club – enlivened by real live whales breaching outside the windows (much to the apparent chagrin of the speaker – how dare she be interrupted by an audience distracted by nature?!?) There was no evening show after dinner on our day at sea, the smaller lounges were largely empty, the few ‘entertainers’ there would never have made it to the screen on American Idol (maybe not even Lithuanian Idol…)

 

Of the few places to gather or sit to read a book, the seats are uncomfortable – barstools have low backs making it impossible to sit back comfortably & chairs have upright backs that make you sit upright as if you were in granny’s parlor (the “wears-like-iron” Herculon upholstery also reminds you of that suite of furniture she bought in the late 40’s and never got rid of…) The Cova Café in the Atrium, has a stranger layout – barstools separated by either columns or so much space that it’s impossible to have an intimate conversation at the counter. A few massive sofas ring the atrium, swamping little oldsters with their excessive scale – another sits in the middle of the atrium looking like something that was fashionable in the early 90’s, but has found a third home after being dragged in off a sidewalk and the doghair vacuumed off it – nobody dares sit on/in it anymore either….

 

Ths ship has a very strange layout – with lots of dead areas between parallel walls adjacent to overcrowded passageways between unappealing public rooms and staircases to nowhere. The Navigators Club (Crow’s Nest/Observation Lounge) is a high ceiling-ed space – with an open disco floor in the middle, and raised/lowered floors around the edges. Disco plays day and night – even while folks try to engage in quiet conversation or read a book (unless there’s an acupuncture lecture of course) The bar is front and center and where smaller quieter rooms could be there are a kids playroom to port, and the Acupuncture clinic Starboard with a video-gameroom behind a pair of glass walls center-aft. There must be nearly 30 feet of open deck area ahead of the spa/lounge deckhouse, which is an amazing amount of wasted space, considering the rooms on these levels from bow to stern are so constricted and jumbled.

 

Boat Drill was held Tuesday at 10am – first we were to gather in one of four lounges for a long talk and a brief demo of how to put on a lifevest (which you have already figured out – these are simpler than HAL’s vests) Then we are all told where are boats are, but these might not actually be the boats we are directed to in case Mercury becomes a flaming inferno because someone used an iron, coffee warmer, candle, etc in their stateroom. (they did discuss this and the other guidelines about not leaving flammable items on balconies during this drill – so they were up-to date in their info) Then we are forced to tromp up to Promenade deck and stand at attention under a lifeboat, which may or may not be the one we could be directed to in case of an emergency. Our CruiseCritic meeting, which was scheduled for 10-10.45 am was therefore postponed till Thurs am because of the Boat Drill.

 

I was simply amazed and dazzled at how beautiful the dining room looked at on Formal Night – Call me a snob, but Tuxedo’s and Evening Gowns Rule! Shame that the food is as bad as HAL’s was 3 years ago – someone really needs to slap Michel Roux around a bit and rip the Rotisseurs Blah-Blah, Etc placards off the walls. In two dinners, don’t think I saw a person at our table of 8 finish a single course. Yes, the Filet mignon was superbly done (tho you had no idea from the menu that is was in fact a Filet Mignon - it had some absurd name that nobody understood) but the onion soup was dishwater w/ onions, there was something called Soup Carolina (Who is Carolina and what is she doing in my soup? Oh, it’s just cream of chicken and corn….) The sorbet tasted of sweetened jasmine soap from the spa, and there were no vinagrette salad dressing options for the one salad of the evening – you could choose from Thousand Island, Blue Cheese, or something watery and bland… Cheesecake was also bland (did they use any flavorings at all?) except for the two fresh berries on top (“Can I just have a bowl of those?” “No Sir…”) Cherries Jubilee was delicious vanilla ice cream w/ cherry sauce from a can (“Can I just have a bowl of the ice cream?” "In the Palm Springs Café, Sir”) Then of course, there was the Crème Brule Test: It was at least not a watery flan like HAL – but the sugar crust that makes it Crème Brule was clearly done years ago because the sugar had melted into a slimy mess on top – and the custard itself was oversweetened. (“You don’t like it, Sir?” “This isn’t Crème Brulee” “Oh, but I made it myself!” “Hmph…”)

 

Good thing I had Sushi earlier that evening. I had always heard/read about how wonderful it is that Celebrity has an onboard Sushi Bar! So of course, being a self-proclaimed Sushi-connoisseur, I had to try some: It’s nothing more than what you can purchase from Ralph’s at the take-out counter. They don’t actually cook the rice and cut the fish on board – X have Japanese-looking guys don pseudo-ethnic head wraps and take trays of stuff that was made in LA a few weeks ago from the freezers, and place the dried-out freezer-burnt tidbits on decorative trays on the buffet. I feel bad for these guys – if they really are Japanese, who did they p***-off at home to be exiled to a life of crimes against innocent fish and rice?

 

There were a couple things that I enjoyed – the Barrista at the Cova Café is a winner – went down the counter and took everyone’s order and then made superb cups of coffee/mocha, etc and delivered them to the right persons - perfect. He gets kudos - tho RCCL doesn’t, as you can’t get anything but plain coffee in the dining room after dinner. Cappuccino after dinner? “Oh, you have to go to the Cova Café, Sir…”

 

The Mercury Show lounge is a fairly well-designed room – nice shallow sloped main floor and nary a column in sight. The ceiling is oppressively low though – feels like one is peeking out from under a balcony, although there isn’t one. It was there that the Captain had his Champagne reception after dinner at @11 pm. It was sparsely attended (another great way to save $$$ on champagne and chocolates) and dull.

 

Afterward was the much-hyped entertainment. If you thought HAL’s quality of entertainment was sad, welcome to the Gong Show. Singers who can’t hold notes, dancers who can’t keep time (but do manage to maintain creepy & unchanging Joker-esque grins – must have Botox-ed just prior to the show). When a soloist came out to do her ill-advised rendition of a Celine Dion ballad, there soon entered a pair of dancers in white on the other side of the stage doing some poorly-contrived ‘Dance of Love’ – Well, Love needs to lay off her desserts, because the poor guy nearly dropped her twice within a single verse, and was barely able to support her Ruben-esque tonnage as he was forced to flail her around the stage…

 

X is renowned for their collection of artworks aboard – yet I wonder why? B&W photographs of children's smiling faces are hung as a freize at the top of one staircase, while another has what appears to be a massive mirrored moth suspended upside-down below a mirrored ceiling. Lots of photography – like a bullet ripping through an apple, or a troupe of tired and sweaty dancers, and another group of artistic/kinky-types dressed as fuzzy animals. A couple of trees that have been cored like apples are lying in the atrium lobby next to the pastry buffet – and revolving at the base of the atrium is the sinister Ming's planetary weapon of destruction straight off the set of Flash Gordon – ready to blast anyone who dares question the taste of the “artwork”. Our deck is festooned w/ hand drawings the caliber of a Fisherman’s Wharf caricaturist, including an acrylic case of cutouts of said genre arranged as a hand-drawn carousel. As in the spa, a few artsy floral arrangements with lots of willow branches and underwater fruit – flowers are either fake and wilting or real and wilting. Nothing remotely nautical here – mustn’t remind the passengers that they are actually on a ship at sea…

 

Obviously by now, dear reader, you must realize that I am no longer on Mercury...

 

I disembarked from my 11-day cruise before noon of the second morning in our first port-call of San Francisco, and I was never more happy to leave a ship and return home. I realized that I'd actually prefer to go to work than stay aboard for a week. After two sleepless nights on a bed that was less comfortable than the one I endured for USAF Basic Training, endlessly tripping over furniture in my stateroom (and luggage that wouldn’t fit under the beds), being threatened the night prior w/ Customs Clearance starting at 5.30 am, (but the nagging announcements didn’t start till 6.30 am – and instead of calling us by deck, they just called EVERYONE) I enjoyed one more nauseating breakfast in the overcrowded Café (after doing two laps to find a free table), and one more alternatingly scalding/frigid shower (must be a mechanism to save RCCL on fuel to power the desalinators) before making my way down to the front desk to check out – where I was informed that 1) they didn’t have my credit card on file (Um, yeah - you do - look in the computers you left in Mexico) and that 2) I’d have to go through Customs at SFO. (Excuse me, Diedre – I don’t think so…)

 

…and never did anyone in the staff or crew ever bother to ask why I was leaving early.

[Nancyquilts]

But the price was right?

[wrp96]

Umm, why do you cruise? From your comments it didn't appear like you enjoyed HAL either.

[brigittetom]

I once inquired if we could disembark in St Thomas to spend an extra week there and was told I would have to get permission from the Captain. I'm guessing your check out was fairly easy other wise you would have mentioned it.

 

Sorry you didn't enjoy the ship.

[Holiday on ice]

I'm sorry that your wings in heaven were not what you had ordered. Bummer:)

[JLC@SD]

11 day cruise became a 2 day cruise.........I would have stuck it out to see if things improved........:)

[Lois R]

Hi Brian, Sorry you are having such a horrible time:(

 

The group who sailed just before you...April 28th gave their sailing

rave reviews. Doesn't sound like it is the same ship or staff.

 

The "regular insides and outsides" are always about 172 sq feet.

 

Again, sorry the only thing you have enjoyed is Cova.

 

Maybe as the cruise goes on you will find it a more enjoyable

week.

[caviargal]

My experience on and opinion of Mercury mirrors Brian's. She was most definitely the worst of my four cruises with X and a big disappointment overall.

[trcori]

I almost laughed reading this because the OP's comments about the layout of Mercury, a ship I've sailed twice & deeply adore, sound a lot like what I wrote about her sister ship Galaxy, which I didn't enjoy nearly as much (but did have a grand time anyway). Otherwise I guess reaction to the rooms, food, etc., depends on what you are used to. To paraphrase the old saying, one cruiser's treasure is another cruiser's trash??? -- TR

[Lois R]

I am re-reading this......am I not understanding? Is Brian really

off the ship?:confused: Did you choose to leave???

Sometimes I guess I read long postings too fast:eek:

 

I guess he did.....wow, so sorry.

[caviargal]

Otherwise I guess reaction to the rooms, food, etc., depends on what you are used to. To paraphrase the old saying, one cruiser's treasure is another cruiser's trash??? -- TR

 

TR, I think you are absolutely correct. And not only what you are used to, but what makes you happy based on preferences.

 

I am a jaded cruiser and there are a few things very important to me: a classy (or classic) ship that is well maintained, good, comfy beds, clean bathrooms (towels with nap appreciated :)), polite and attentive service (warm is even better) and a great gym, sauna and steam area. A varierty of live music and an active nightlife are a huge plus.

 

I also enjoy good food but that is very subjective. The food on the Mercury in the dining room was very good, IMO. And so was our waiter, who was fired the last night of the cruise. :(

[ocngypz]

Huh????

 

I've sailed ships where I haven't liked the design, but I still had a good time.

 

Darn, wish you'd called me, I would have gladly taken your place.

 

Standard outside cabins on Hal S-class ships is 187sqft. The Mercury 172. A little smaller on the Vista class than S-class. The new bedding on the S-class ships, overwhelms the cabin. I was just on the Maasdam.

 

HAL doesn't offer anything when you board the ship. You are merely herded to the Lido with your carryons.

 

Before HAL started replacing TV's under the SOE program, their tv's were the smallest I've had at sea. The new tv's on the Maasdam are still smaller than those tv's on the Mercury. Only the Vista class HAL ships have larger tv's.

 

Comfy chairs to read in on Mercury: Michael's Club has comfy chairs.

 

There is less space under HAL beds for luggage because there is a "box" containing storage space for linen. I store my large rolling garment bag open under the bed very easily on all Celebrity ships.

 

Never had problems ordering cappucino in the dr after dinner. Just did so last month.

 

Show schedules, they are often flipped. Sometimes before late seating at 7pm, other times after dinner.

 

Yep, the bedding stinks.

 

All buffet areas are terrible, except for the Carnival Spirit class ships. Rotterdam class on HAL isn't too bad, S-Class terrible... and the Vista class.... well on Noordam it was like Grand Central station at rush hour. It's just the nature of the beast.

 

I've often found the hot tubs to have different water temps. I've always picked the hottest.

 

It's not jasmine, it's frangipani.

 

Darn it all.. wish you had called. Sure would have beaten 45 degree weather with pouring down rain, cranky clients and bird doo all over my car.

 

Que sera, sera.

 

Better luck next time.

[Tatka]

I loved our cruise on Mercury, and I liked Zuiderdam... But how can you say Mercury has weird design and have several cruises on Oosterdam and Noordam... :confused:

 

I have to agree about inside/outside pool. When it's cold/colder you basically can't swim anywhere. Back pool doesn't have adequate size. i would certainly avoid this ship if I wanted to sail to Alaska.

 

Other than that I like almost everything about Mercury and her sister Century. And size... just about perfect!

[Texed]

Huh????

 

 

Darn it all.. wish you had called. Sure would have beaten 45 degree weather with pouring down rain, cranky clients and bird doo all over my car.

 

Great line!:)

[DeltaOne]

I realized that I'd actually prefer to go to work than stay aboard for a week.

Weirdest thing I've ever heard...

 

I've never had a day at work that came anywhere close to being as good as a day on a cruise ship...

[CruisingChick]

Ths ship has a very strange layout – with lots of dead areas between parallel walls adjacent to overcrowded passageways between unappealing public rooms and staircases to nowhere.

 

I have to whole heartedly agree. I've never spent 7 days on a cruise ship and still got lost. My sister-in-law and I kept walking into walls. If our Mercury cruise had been our first Celebrity cruise we might not have ever gone back for a second. Luckily it was our 5th, so we know to stick with the M class ships or Zenith (even though it's tiny the layout is much better than the Mercury's).

[tbelian]

There is an old saying:

 

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth".

 

That's all.

[dkjretired]

to describe this post. Get off a cruise after two days on an 11 day cruise. Unbelievable. I can understand why no one asked why he was getting off, they were probably breathing a sigh of relief after reading some of the the most ridiculous complaints I have read in over 10 years on this board.

[NanD]

bepsf~ After reading your experience aboard Mercury, I'm reminded of the old line "but other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play"? Sorry the cruise didn't go as hoped. Lucky for you one of the stops was home, making the decision to leave the ship less complicated. Better luck next time out.

Nan

[caviargal]

 

I've never had a day at work that came anywhere close to being as good as a day on a cruise ship...

 

I can name 4 cruises that were just that awful, one on the Veracruz and three on Carnival. My friend and I actually tried to debark from the Inspiration 5 years ago but it was just too expensive to fly home from where we were.

[seagulls]

Well I have never been tempted to book a Carnival cruise but if I did I would definitely make the best of it!

[joelmarj]

to describe this post. Get off a cruise after two days on an 11 day cruise. Unbelievable. I can understand why no one asked why he was getting off, they were probably breathing a sigh of relief after reading some of the the most ridiculous complaints I have read in over 10 years on this board.

 

Amen to that! It was evident that the OP was looking for every possible opportunity to find a complaint. Guess that getting off was the best solution all around.

 

I must comment though about the complaints on the size of the room and the bathroom. This should not have been a shock if the OP had done any research. Sizes of the cabins are posted everywhere and are a very common topic. If he is such a "bathroom fanatic" then he should have looked into paying for an upgrade to meet his needs.

[Joe Beach]

I too am amazed while reading this, the description is not the ship I disembarked in April. But that's OK, if people are receptive (dumb) enough to believe much of this slanted (for reasons unknown) review, then there will be more opportunity for me to sail the Mercury.

 

I could see where going through the Ensenada "trip" could sour anyone's mood. But that has been a known for a while now.

 

The OP lost all credibility with me in his review when he didn't even know that tournedos is a common "fancy" name for filet mignon.

[teedee]

I'm not sure what happened after I got off the ship on the 8th and before you got on later that afternoon, but it sure doesn't sound like the same ship I was on. We had a great cruise, food was very good, ship looked great. Some minor wear and tear, but that was to be expected. We loved the T Pool, it does have dim lighting, but it's the same way on Century. I think it helps make the pool more relaxing. I never noticed a musty smell either.

 

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience, mine was wonderful.

 

Terri

[cruzin4us]

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.........You get what you pay for...

Why you couldn't find it in your soul to have a good time no matter what the conditions is beyond me.

Maybe they didn't ask you why you were leaving as they were glad to get rid of a crabby passenger?

There is always good in everything.......sometimes you just have to look for it :)