Question only for those who get upset by the underdressed

[Soxfan05]

This question is just for those who feel strongly that the quality of their vacation is compromised by those who do not follow dress code.

 

Have you complained to the maitre d' or someone else who could, if they so chose, ask the offenders to leave and return properly attired?

 

If so, what was the outcome?

 

If not, why did you keep mum?

 

How would you feel about a formal only dining option where one would pay extra for that experience?

 

For those of conflicting opinions, please let's hear everyone out without judgment. I'm just curious what, if anything the cruiselines do for their customers who express their displeasure.

[DonnaK]

Interesting question! I've never complained to the maitre-d, but I have noted on my comment card that they if they have a posted dress code, then they should enforce it (and enforce no seat saving in the theatre or by the pool).

 

A formal only dining option would be OK only if it's not for an additional surcharge. But, I think that would compromise the aura onboard the ship for the evening - we like the specialness and the atmopshere of formal nights. It's one of the reasons we avoid the more casual, freestyle cruiselines.

[stinesheri]

I agree. Formal night is a much different atmosphere than casual nights and it is something we are looking forward to.

 

If you don't want to dress up, there are plenty of options where you don't have to, in different ranges (mass market and luxury cruise lines that don't have formal nights, or buffets and specialty dining on whichever line you book). If the ship has formal, then you should adhear the rules. Too many people do "what they want to" in this world and it isn't limited to formal wear, but that's another complaint!

 

To answer your question, if the dress code was not enforced, I would problaby comment to the head waiter/maitre'd. If I can do it, others should be able to also (of course, if you have a medical reason why you can't (i.e. need to wear sneakers - that's a different story). I also have traditional dining planned, and it would annoy me if my tablemates showed up at formal night in casual clothes.

 

I don't think formal night should be a 'paid event'. We already paid for the cruise, the formal wear and the airline charge to bring the clothing. What cruise lines may opt to do, if they have Traditional and Anytime dining rooms, is designate one Anytime dining as informal, and for those who can't, won't, refuse to dress, they can just eat there that evening, and still get their 'free' lobster. This way, it won't ruin it for the rest of the guests who enjoy and planned for formal night.

 

Of course, these same people would then complain that they are being segregated, and that they then lose the option for traditional dining, so there will never be an answer to how to solve this problem. But, in my option, enforcement is the key, otherwise, why bother with a dress code?

 

cs

[DonnaK]

How would you feel about a formal only dining option where one would pay extra for that experience?

I have an idea - how about if those who wish to dress casually in the MDR on formal night pay for the extra for that experience?

[cruisemom42]

I have an idea - how about if those who wish to dress casually in the MDR on formal night pay for the extra for that experience?

 

That was also going to be my suggestion, and to me it makes sense because the cruise lines have developed a model for charging only when new items or services are introduced, not for those that have traditionally been included.

 

Therefore, continue to provide a formal evening for passengers who want a traditional cruise experience. For those that do not, provide an alternate venue for a charge where they do not have to dress up but can enjoy the same menu as that served in the main dining rooms.

 

Of course, on Princess you can already dine in the specialty restaurants on formal night without being dressed formally ("smart casual" is required). So I'm not sure how well that idea would fly....

 

On Princess's larger ships, they could accomplish this at no extra charge and minimal disruption by having one of the 3 main dining rooms be for "casual diners only" on formal nights.

 

To answer the other part of the poster's question, I am one that does feel having a formal night is rather pointless if a great majority of passengers do not participate. To me, it's like eating a fancy meal off a paper plate, or looking at a beautiful masterpiece of a painting in a plywood frame. It's just jarring.

 

I have not complained to the maitre d' ever, mainly because on the cruises I have been on, I have either not experienced any passengers who were badly flaunting the dress code OR I have actually seen enforcement going on at the entrance. On one cruise, I was seated at a table that was very close to the entrance of the DR. I saw people wearing shorts turned away on nights that were "smart casual" and I saw men turned away on formal night due to lack of a jacket.

 

However, on the MOST recent cruise I was on, the dining room staff did seem to be more lax, allowing people in the dining room in shorts. This was a little bothersome, but I wouldn't complain about it on a casual night. Had it been a formal evening......:cool:

[Soxfan05]

Interesting question! I've never complained to the maitre-d, but I have noted on my comment card that they if they have a posted dress code, then they should enforce it (and enforce no seat saving in the theatre or by the pool).

 

A formal only dining option would be OK only if it's not for an additional surcharge. But, I think that would compromise the aura onboard the ship for the evening - we like the specialness and the atmopshere of formal nights. It's one of the reasons we avoid the more casual, freestyle cruiselines.

 

 

Thanks Donna. I appreciate your thoughts.

[Soxfan05]

 

Therefore, continue to provide a formal evening for passengers who want a traditional cruise experience. For those that do not, provide an alternate venue for a charge where they do not have to dress up but can enjoy the same menu as that served in the main dining rooms.

 

 

I have not complained to the maitre d' ever, mainly because on the cruises I have been on, I have either not experienced any passengers who were badly flaunting the dress code OR I have actually seen enforcement going on at the entrance.

 

However, on the MOST recent cruise I was on, the dining room staff did seem to be more lax, allowing people in the dining room in shorts. This was a little bothersome, but I wouldn't complain about it on a casual night. Had it been a formal evening......:cool:

 

Great suggestion re: informal , sit down dining facility that served the same food as the MDR. My only thought on that is many people complain about being dressed formally and then being out and about on the ship and seeing informally dressed people and how it affects them. This problem would not be fixed.

 

On another thread I suggested perhaps an entire evening of dinner and dancing that was formal only. Like a formal dinner dance. But it seems an upcharge for something like that would be likely.

[Soxfan05]

 

 

 

To answer your question, if the dress code was not enforced, I would problaby comment to the head waiter/maitre'd.

 

What cruise lines may opt to do, if they have Traditional and Anytime dining rooms, is designate one Anytime dining as informal, and for those who can't, won't, refuse to dress, they can just eat there that evening, and still get their 'free' lobster.

 

in my option, enforcement is the key, otherwise, why bother with a dress code?

 

cs

 

Amidst all the comments were some great positive ideas. Thanks for sharing.

 

So are you saying you've never experienced people not dressing formally on formal night? You said you never complained.....but would so curious what your experience has been.

 

An anytime casual dining facility is a great idea. While I don't like the lobster served on cruise ships, there are many who really look forward to it. It's not "free" for anyone, it's paid for and you're correct offering it in a venue where someone does not have to pay extra would solve people showing up under dressed, just for that, on formal night. Good call.

 

You really are correct about enforcement and that is key. I do however believe most mass market lines will never do that as their goal is to sell out ships and they do not want to alienate anyone.

[lawskool10]

Carnival needs to be the ones that enforce it. I will not be a tattle-tale. If the maitre d' doesn't care how someone's dressed, why should I?

 

Not once has an underdressed person ruined my dinner. Plus, I have no idea why that person is dressed they way they are. It is possible that their lugguage was lost or didn't make it to the ship.

[Soxfan05]

Carnival needs to be the ones that enforce it. I will not be a tattle-tale. If the maitre d' doesn't care how someone's dressed, why should I?

 

Not once has an underdressed person ruined my dinner. Plus, I have no idea why that person is dressed they way they are. It is possible that their lugguage was lost or didn't make it to the ship.

 

 

I do understand what you are saying and like your "live and let live" attitude but that's why the question was posed the way it was and to whom it was.

[Alamogirl]

One one cruise as we were waiting to go into dinner, 6 individuals came up, all in shorts, t-shirts and flip flops. Most around were dressed for a formal/dressy affair. One by one we all started to turn and stare, after a few minutes and one rude comment by one of the flip flop crowd, one in their group stated, "I think we should go to the Windjammer, we are not dressed correctly." Smart young man, probably late 20's.

 

Another time some actually were seated at our table, my DH got up and mentioned to our steward what had happened to the dress code? No response, but the next formal night they were not at the table. We did get a bottle of complimentary wine;)

 

If a cruiseline states formal, then this should be enforced IMHO. Seems as if it would be easy to set aside an area for those not dressed appropriately.

[gerif]

Another time some actually were seated at our table, my DH got up and mentioned to our steward what had happened to the dress code? No response, but the next formal night they were not at the table. We did get a bottle of complimentary wine;)

 

If a cruiseline states formal, then this should be enforced IMHO. Seems as if it would be easy to set aside an area for those not dressed appropriately.

 

They DO have a place for those not dressed appropriately - it's called the Windjammer.

 

To your tablemates, well, I would have given them my most sympathetic look and said "oh, my - they've lost your luggage?" But I'm glad your DH did say something.

[cruise kitty]

I have an idea - how about if those who wish to dress casually in the MDR on formal night pay for the extra for that experience?

 

ok, I'm posting here even though I am not affected by others style of dressing.

We aren't cruising till OCT 2011, but I already know that we will be paying $5 each to eat in the bistro on the formal nights, if there was an area of the MDR set aside for casual, I'd love it, always thought that it would be nice to have the main floor be the dress up area & the 2nd floor be for those who want casual every night, we opted for the select dining for next time, I wonder if that will be more casual... so, yes we are willing to pay a bit more, but it would have to be set up in a way so we wouldn't interfere with the folks who are cruising for the formal nights.

[Pennypocket]

Since there is really only one line left that requires a level of attire that meets my stantands for cruising - Cunard - I leave the rest to their problems or not. On Cunard, I have made mention to the Maitre'd on at least three occasions about the lack of decorum in the dining room and the lounges. With baseball hats at lunch, lack of jackets at dinner and signs posted on poles in a lounge area.

 

I have sailed on an other line and made the mistake that based on a long ago understanding of the line that it would offer what I was seeking. It did not to such an extent that I would not sail on that line even if the cruise was free as it would still be a chore dealing with the passenger consist. The ships are lovely but----

 

It is a very popular line and they fill their ships so good for them and good for all those who sail with it. It is just not me and I see no reason to try to change what seems to be working for them.

 

Cunard on the other hand being the last of the "old Line" traditionalists is worth fighting for and I am not alone in that thought.

[Warm Breezes]

Since there is really only one line left that requires a level of attire that meets my stantands for cruising - Cunard - I leave the rest to their problems or not. On Cunard, I have made mention to the Maitre'd on at least three occasions about the lack of decorum in the dining room and the lounges. With baseball hats at lunch, lack of jackets at dinner and signs posted on poles in a lounge area.

 

I have sailed on an other line and made the mistake that based on a long ago understanding of the line that it would offer what I was seeking. It did not to such an extent that I would not sail on that line even if the cruise was free as it would still be a chore dealing with the passenger consist. The ships are lovely but----

 

It is a very popular line and they fill their ships so good for them and good for all those who sail with it. It is just not me and I see no reason to try to change what seems to be working for them.

 

Cunard on the other hand being the last of the "old Line" traditionalists is worth fighting for and I am not alone in that thought.

 

Thank you for choosing to sail on cruise lines that meet your standard for dress codes. I find it annoying to read posts from people who sail on cruise lines with a more relaxed dress codes and then complain about people not meeting their standards. Please do your research people. If how people dress really bother you, then make sure your cruise line of choice meets your standards when it comes to dress codes.

[Soxfan05]

 

Another time some actually were seated at our table, my DH got up and mentioned to our steward what had happened to the dress code? No response, but the next formal night they were not at the table. We did get a bottle of complimentary wine;)

 

 

Wow, that's interesting. I think you are the first person who said something to a staff member. I'm glad that you got some satisfaction.

[Soxfan05]

On Cunard, I have made mention to the Maitre'd on at least three occasions about the lack of decorum in the dining room and the lounges. With baseball hats at lunch, lack of jackets at dinner and signs posted on poles in a lounge area

 

What was the outcome of those 3 instances?

[Alliezona09]

Saw someone in sweatpants and a undershirt~On elegant night~ someone at our table talked to the matre de and he was asked to leave the dining room~

 

My feelings are that if they can't enforce the dress code properly than why have it? And if they do have a dress code yet don't enforce it then yes I will talk to someone in charge! Its not that hard to pack a pair of dress slacks and a button down shirt!

[stinesheri]

Thank you for choosing to sail on cruise lines that meet your standard for dress codes. I find it annoying to read posts from people who sail on cruise lines with a more relaxed dress codes and then complain about people not meeting their standards. Please do your research people. If how people dress really bother you, then make sure your cruise line of choice meets your standards when it comes to dress codes.

 

 

Actually, she said that she sailed on a line that reportedly offered what she was looking for (as she is posting on this thread, presumably formal dress was one of those things). If that was the case, and the line than ignored their own stated dress code, than she has every right to complain.

 

Would I personally choose a line that didn't offer formal - yes, but only if it had everything else I was looking for. We almost went with a luxury line for our upcoming cruise that did not offer formal nights, and while that was mark in the 'con' side, it was really the itinerary that made us change our mind about that particular cruise line. Having chosen a line that does have formal night (Princess), we plan on taking advantage of it. Had we gone with the other cruise line, we might have missed formal night, but certainly would not complain that no one was dressed up!

 

Soxfan:

 

To answer your question to me - the last time I cruised was 4 years ago, on NCL, and that was at the beginning of Freestyle and the dress was pretty mixed. Before that, I had a very long span since my first two cruises in the early '90's, where everyone dressed formally on Formal night. Those two cruises were both on Carnival, and I have to say, it was really very elegant on those evenings and so there was no reason to complain! Freestyle certainly didn't compare to what I remember most about cruising - particularly the service and the ambiance. I am again looking forward to going formal.

[Kinkacruiser]

Thank you for choosing to sail on cruise lines that meet your standard for dress codes. I find it annoying to read posts from people who sail on cruise lines with a more relaxed dress codes and then complain about people not meeting their standards. Please do your research people. If how people dress really bother you, then make sure your cruise line of choice meets your standards when it comes to dress codes.

 

Well spoken. Thankyou for bringing this to our attention.

[Happy ks]

I love getting dressed up for formal nights. I may not wear floor length dresses any longer, but I'm still dressed in a fancy cocktail dress.

 

I find it a bit odd that some people will get upset by what another person is wearing. I notice, I may thing others look interesting, or sloppy but I certainly don't get upset about it.

 

There are far too many other things in life to get upset over, things that may make a difference in your life. I suppose I should not have posted to this thread :)

 

I will note that although we found on our one Cunard cruise the pax were dressed a lot more formally than your average main stream cruise line, we found the food and service to be on par with all the other cruise lines we've been on. It was lovely to see.

[Pennypocket]

What was the outcome of those 3 instances?

 

With the baseball hat. The rest of the table got up and left the fellow and his bride of about 50 years to their own devices and we all mentioned it on the way out of the diningroom. As to the lack of jackets it was the next morning and I doubt anything was done but the gentlemen did not show up without jackets again and the posters. Myself and another passenger took them down and tossed them. The problem with the Maitre d's is that they do not get a lot of backing from their bossses. On Cunard the passengers generally police the place themselves. Those swimming against the tide generally find themselves the object of somecomment, offhand of course and well placed in an elevator or the next day in a way that is part of a conversation at the "next" table that they can not but hear. Most people get the message very quickly those that do not tend to find themselves their own best company.

 

Every single cruise line lays out their basic policies in their brochures and all other advertising and advisory material. When your documents arrive so does a list of evening dress codes and the dress codes are spelled out in detail. Those wishing to have "their" way should not expect a free ride. Chose a different cruise line if you do not wish to comply with the general atmosphere of the ship.

 

As I stated before, the use of the term elegant casual is the worst code ever thought up because different strokes for different folks rules here and one can drive a truck through that request and still be on the acceptable page.

[toxicfairy]

I am not sure about all of this?? Why do people make such a fuss about getting dressed up for formal night when it IS the "suggested" or in my Opinion the POSTED attire for the night?? You do all this planning and you don't realize that you are going to have a formal night or two?? Is it really so difficult to dress up for the evening? These days it does not even cost alot of money to dress nicely. No one said you have to wear designer labels just formal wear and believe it or not ...it can be purchased at second hand stores and discount stores and if you never tell any one where you bought your clothes no one will know:). gowns can be purchased after prom for next to nothing on a clearance rack. I just don't understand?? Do you get upset that you need to wear swim suits for the pool ? you can not wear you jeans there(in the pool). If you want to skate you need long pants . Rock climb certain requirements. It is all part of cruiseing . I just can not stand the selfish all about me attitudes any more. It is my cruise so I'll make my own rules and do what I wish and dress how I want. I remember when I first heard about cruiseing and it was an elegant way to vacation. These days I'm surprised people aren't pitching tents in the hall ways. Sorry I just feel very strongly about it!

[Soxfan05]

Sorry I just feel very strongly about it!

 

That's why I asked the questions I did. I'd love to hear your answers to them. I'd love to hear how you've handled these situations while on a ship. Just trying to keep it positive. I understand the want to rant but there are lots of other threads for that. ;)

[illinoismomof4]

Formal, elegant casual, to do or not to do, does what some one else wears effect me. Nope, People spend to much time worrying about what the next person is doing or wearing.

 

I can't wait till we cruise so that my family can wear the clothes that i have planned. We will have two elegant nights and we are eating in the steakhouse we will be dressed appropriately. Causal nights will be causal, I made a deal with my tee shirt wearing husband that for the 8 day's we are cruising he will change his tee shirts for dinner.

 

This conversation reminds me of my very best southern friend, She is from Mississippi, and I am in Illinois, she has all the advantages in life, we sometimes struggle. She cruises the Mediterranean, I cruise the Caribbean, She would be dressed to the 9, I will be dressed to the 4.5. But my 4.5 will equal her 9's. And she would never look down on anything I would wear as being below her.