Do you dress to Impress?

[cruisemom42]

Thank you ladies for such great responses and point of views.

 

Just wanted to clear one thing up..a couple of people did not care for "dress to impress". It was not meant to mean for someone else necessarily. It could be for you also. Really just lack of better words.

 

I think everyone is entitled to do what they want and be who they are. No one here said that if you do not wear make up or do your hair and dress, that you are a slob..... but.....for the lady that had every excuse not to, there was no reason to continuously put down the people that do take the time and effort of caring how we look.

 

Does this make us "vain"..."high maintenance"..."spends a lot of money" I think not and did not think that was very kind at all. How does taking care of your appearance make you vain???? Really?

 

I respect that you do not, but there is no reason to insult all of the ladies here that do.

 

I do think your choice of title was unfortunate, as it set the wrong tone for me before I read your message. I gave a bit of a "flip" answer yesterday, but after some of the debate, I wanted to say more. I have to agree that, just as you don't like the implied insult, neither do others who aren't interested in or have moved beyond "dressing to impress".

 

Taking the time and effort to care how you look is fine, in moderation. However, too often it is taken to extremes. Some people seem to spend excessive amounts of time daily blow drying, straightening (or curling) their hair, applying makeup, coordinating outfits, jewelry and shoes, and of course one must add in the amount of time spent shopping for all of these things....!! That's not even getting into all the cosmetic procedures (teeth whitening, mani-pedis, salon hair coloring/highlights -- all take time).

 

That's great IF you have the time. But for some of us, not possible. For many years I've been a single mom with a full-time career that involved a long daily commute. I learned quickly that I'd rather spend what limited time that remained doing things that were important and meaningful -- e.g., spending time with my son, keeping up with friends and family, reading, taking the occasional class, planning for travel, etc. I learned to live on less than 7 hours of sleep per night during the week. I barely had time to get to the dentist's office for a check-up, much less consider teeth-whitening.

 

Now DS is off to college, and I have marginally more time. But again, I prefer to spend it doing things that are good for my health (at the gym) or well-being (getting involved in community).

 

I'd like to think I look nice, given the minimal effort. I do spend money on good, professional, well-fitting clothing. But I don't obsess over it. And yes, at bottom, I think it's a bit silly and can be....well, vain. Of course, that's just my (humble) opinion.

[slidergirl]

And in your own words... dressing up is "impressing" as in those that do not are not doing so. You are implying that those that do not spend hours and hair and makeup and dress up are "unimpressing" and not noticed which is every bit as insulting. There was nothing kind about the title of this thread just as equally.

 

There is a big difference between taking care of your appearance and "dressing to impress". I wash my hair, I blow dry it and keep it clean. I wear properly fitted clothing that is clean and taken care of. But I don't spend more than a few minutes a day and I do not wear makeup 98% of the time. Dressing to impress by most people definitions here seems to make them feel better about themselves and feel more attractive. We should all feel comfortable, accepted, loved and attractive without having to paint and decorate ourselves.

 

I swear we MUST be related!

 

Like you, I wash my hair, blow dry it (or when it's warm let it dry and curl naturally) and I am clean. I was raised that a proper lady makes sure she is cleanly washed. Nothing about having a tease job on the hair, tons of hairspray, loads of makeup was involved in being a proper lady. I'm a Tshirt/jeans/fleece/down kind of woman (even though I am on the down-side of 50), but I resent that others would consider it "slobby" not kept. I paid good money for those things - I didn't wander into the local WalMart and find a matchy-matchy outfit for $8.99. I will never wear heels - they are not good for you. The whole reason the MEN in the fashion industry made high heels is they wanted to make women SEXY to them, not to make women better. My highest heels are on my cowboy boots.

When I see women who have obviously spent over an hour on hair and unnatural makeup (yes, I believe most women who do makeup over do it), I think "who are they trying to impress" - and it's not in a good way. Sometimes, watching women strut around in all their plumery onboard is akin to watching old hookers on the street walk past their prime. If you have to do all that coverup of your natural beauty, I think you're trying to hide your true self.

 

So, we have two very different types here and we will never agree. Go ahead and "tsk tsk" at us "natural beauties" and we will "tsk tsk" at the "makeup queens" ;)

Edited December 5, 2012 by slidergirl

[arhillbilly]

Hell yes, I dress to "impress" I am a single woman.....when I go out, I want to look my best, just in case......I believe that no matter what you are "dressed" in, as long as you are confidant in yourself and you carry yourself with pride, everyone is a winner

[sjb317]

I swear we MUST be related!

 

Like you, I wash my hair, blow dry it (or when it's warm let it dry and curl naturally) and I am clean. I was raised that a proper lady makes sure she is cleanly washed. Nothing about having a tease job on the hair, tons of hairspray, loads of makeup was involved in being a proper lady. I'm a Tshirt/jeans/fleece/down kind of woman (even though I am on the down-side of 50), but I resent that others would consider it "slobby" not kept. I paid good money for those things - I didn't wander into the local WalMart and find a matchy-matchy outfit for $8.99. I will never wear heels - they are not good for you. The whole reason the MEN in the fashion industry made high heels is they wanted to make women SEXY to them, not to make women better. My highest heels are on my cowboy boots.

When I see women who have obviously spent over an hour on hair and unnatural makeup (yes, I believe most women who do makeup over do it), I think "who are they trying to impress" - and it's not in a good way. Sometimes, watching women strut around in all their plumery onboard is akin to watching old hookers on the street walk past their prime. If you have to do all that coverup of your natural beauty, I think you're trying to hide your true self.

 

So, we have two very different types here and we will never agree. Go ahead and "tsk tsk" at us "natural beauties" and we will "tsk tsk" at the "makeup queens" ;)

 

And why should any one "tsk tsk" at what anyone else has chosen or not chosen to wear? If you feel good in your cowboy boots then great! If someone else feels good in makeup, then great for them! I promise not to think of you as "slobby" if you try to avoid thinking of me as an "old hooker" :D

 

Sherri:)

[lhanson38]

I dress for me. I like makeup so I almost always wear it. I never leave the house with out my eyes done. Now this is easy for me I have eyelash extentions love love them. I do this for me not my hubby, 2 other things I would never go out with out haveing done. I hate chipped nail polish and toenail polish. Either my nails are chip free or no polish. Just my thing.

I love heels and wear them a lot. I also wear cute little flats and flip flops.

What I don't like seeing on women or men are baggy clothes, messy hair.

On my lazy days and we all have them I just put my hair up. Other wise from start to finish I'm ready to go in 1/2 hour. Thats makeup hair straighten,Dressed. Only time it takes me longer if I have to dry my hair then I add other 1/2 hour I have really thick hair takes forever to blowdry.

[nikex]

I don't tsktsk anyone, my point was just that I think us ladies get bombarded a lot as it is with media and such telling us how we should look or be and lots of people judgjng us no matter what we do and it makes me sad to see women do that to eachother. It's unfortunate that impress was used in the titla and that anyone was hurt by that, I just gotta say everyone should do what makes them happy and that's what matters! Style preference is just that afterall, a preference!

 

Arhillbilly, I love looking through your posts on this sub! You always have such lovely dresses!

[Gathina]

I say, good for the man that told his wife how he felt honestly and sorry for his wife who was so put out by it..honest feedback is painful sometimes.

 

I am always amazed at the shows where they have to drag the woman in for the makeover kicking and screaming but then when it's done she's thriled with it.

 

I dress in good clothes because I like how they feel, how I feel, and how they look. I don't pay attention to what others say however if my husband tells me what he likes and it makes him happy, then I find somethign that will accomodate both of our "likes". I do think, however, that some people just don't care and they throw on whatever. So many people I see every day make me wonder if they even take showers. Wrinkled clothes to me show that you don't take pride in your appearnce.

 

Like it or not, the reality is that people judge you by how you look. It's not supposed to be that way but it is in reality. The person that judges the morbidly obese woman in the bikini is judging as much as the morbdily obese person in the bikini who is jealous of the beach bunny in the bikini who has the perefect body.

 

Hi ladies..a while back, I posted a question to the men.

 

Does your lady dress to impress or for comfort. I was amazed at how many men said "for comfort", but they wish it were different. So many also said "happy wife, happy life" and if that is what she wants, then fine. I would say about 80% of the men had the same response.

 

My question is....are we getting too lazy? Too old to care about make-up, hair, attire?

 

I saw a talk show a few weeks back with men that said they WANT their ladies to dress and take pride in how they look. One man actually said he admires women and always looks. His wife gets angry at this, but the husbands response is..."when you start taking care of yourself, I will stop looking at other women" (OMG) I am sure he was in hot water when he got home...lol.

 

I am sure I will see a lot of opinions, but I would love to hear how the women REALLY feel. Thank you ladies..:o

[calliopecruiser]

My question is....are we getting too lazy? Too old to care about make-up, hair, attire?

 

I dress for comfort the vast, vast majority of the time, and I'm not to old to care about make up, hair, or attire......but the things I care about are not the things the fashion industry (or men who are raised influenced by the fashion industry) may care about.

 

I care deeply about make up, and those feelings are the reason I choose not to wear it, except for a few rare occasions.

 

I care about my hair, and get it cut and coloured every 3-4 weeks, but my choice of style is very low maintenance and I don't even brush my hair, let alone use a blow dryer. I care about the freedom that my new short and sassy style gives me, and it's also flattering. Some times I do miss my long hair though :(

 

I also care about my attire - I care that it is comfortable, easy to maintain, and attractive. I would like my attire to be more flattering, but I don't have the thousands of dollars to alter all my clothes to fit, or get a custom-made wardrobe. Sadly, I do not have an off-the-rack body type. I don't care a whit about what's "fashionable" or what the fashion industry thinks I should be wearing.

 

My choice to dress for comfort isn't because I'm "too lazy" to dress to impress, it's because the most important person I want to impress is me, and I don't care that much about what people wear.

[calliopecruiser]

Like it or not, the reality is that people judge you by how you look. It's not supposed to be that way but it is in reality.

 

Yes, but the clothes you wear are only one part of how we look and a small part of our first impression. This is a mistake a lot of people make, IMO.......how we look is also about our expression, our body language, our grooming, whether our clothes are situation-appropriate, our attitude, etc. Actually, I'd say it's far more about our body language than our clothes or make up.

[Laurie S.]

On a cruise, I love dressing up in the evening because on the port days I go diving. I don't wear makeup or fix my hair when diving, and I wear shorts and a baggy t-shirt over my swimsuit. After a couple hours in ocean, my hair really looks great. LOL

 

So, I love to get cleaned up for the evening and wear something fancy now and then. Most of my long dresses actually are sun dresses, except for formal nights. I have beautiful jewelery that I collect and love to wear (my biggest vice) and I can put on my "fancy" makeup in 10 minutes. My hair takes less than that to curl, but just as long to get it to dry. So, I can get easily get showered and fancied up in an hour, and still have time to make us a couple margaritas. :)

[lhanson38]

It takes me longer to get ready on a cruise. Becuse I wash my hair everynight. big pain in the butt. But if you swim and dive you got to wash the hair.

I'm just not a tee shirt girl. I always do a sundress or skirt and tank over my bathing suit.

[TheDunphys]

Like it or not, the reality is that people judge you by how you look. It's not supposed to be that way but it is in reality. The person that judges the morbidly obese woman in the bikini is judging as much as the morbdily obese person in the bikini who is jealous of the beach bunny in the bikini who has the perefect body.

 

So true! There seem to be so many assumptions about others on this thread and so many other threads too. Why can't we just appreciate each others views. How boring life would be if we were all clones of each other.

 

Perhaps the title was unfortunate and 'dress to impress' could better be replaced by 'take care with your appearance'? As the writer stated it was not intended to imply an attitude of arrogance or one-up-manship. I think a woman in track-pants and tshirt can look absolutely sensational if she carries herself well and is confident in who she is. I'm also aware that a woman wearing $5000 threads from head to toe can look abismal is she holds her nose way up in the air and doesn't wear a smile.

 

On another note, I don't believe financial hardship is a great excuse for not taking care iof oneself. If you can afford a cruise you can afford a hairbrush, a manicure set and an iron. One of the most beautiful women I know is a single mum doing it very tough and she always manages to look impeccable, simply by the way she carries herself. She does not have a celebrity body. She is not always fashionable but she has a sense of style. She is not arrogant, but does take pride in her appearance - her hair shines, she wears a smile, her clothes are largely purchased from op-shops but she wears them with dignity and poise.

 

As for the question of makeup. I feel anyone can make any subject into a philosophical debate. I consider myself a feminist (I'm sure I'll get some backlash for that) but it doesn't mean I have to deny my femininity. Nor does it mean that I - or the majority of women on this thread - cake layers and layers of foundation nor spend hours in front of the mirror before they go out. I apply my makeup in 10 minutes. It is an extension of my skincare regime and I don't look like Pamela Anderson at the end of it.

 

One last point. I'm a little intrigued as to why those that are so opposed to the subject of dressing were on the Cruise Fashion and Beauty Discussion Topic in the first place? I think Cruise Critic would be benefited if more people tried to understand anothers views rather than impose their own for the sake of argument.

[luckycruzer]

Hell yes, I dress to "impress" I am a single woman.....when I go out, I want to look my best, just in case......I believe that no matter what you are "dressed" in, as long as you are confidant in yourself and you carry yourself with pride, everyone is a winner

 

 

Couldn't have said it better, myself !!

[slidergirl]

...

One last point. I'm a little intrigued as to why those that are so opposed to the subject of dressing were on the Cruise Fashion and Beauty Discussion Topic in the first place? I think Cruise Critic would be benefited if more people tried to understand anothers views rather than impose their own for the sake of argument.

 

I came to this board before my first cruise. I kept thinking about having to abide by a strict dress code and rules and wanted to see just what I had to do. It then became a source of strange intrigue and, many times, a laugh or two. I never knew that there was a whole cult out there for dedicated to buying specific clothes just for a cruise. I even get a chuckle when I see things about "appropriate travel attire" - I'm supposed to plan and buy a special ensemble when I'm going to be stuffed into a metal tube with 200 other people for 8 hours??? I mean, when I grew up, we did not have a special wardrobe for vacation. We wore what we had. We got to go shopping three times a year - once for 2 new school outfits, once for Christmas, and once for 2 new summer outfits. What I wore at home was what went on vacation with me to Atlantic City, New York City, Southern California, Girl Scout Camp. This was bred in me, so that's still how I roll - no special vacation wardrobe.

I like to think that there are some who come to the boards for the same reason I did and we can offer our opinions based on our unique experiences. Some ladies lately have asked about how to pack lighter or more practical. Those of us with this base of experience have been able to offer our suggestions. I was especially having a good time hearing about SmoothDancer and how she was able to transform her travel items down to a manageable level and how she didn't feel like she missed any things she didn't take. I like how, when people bring up how to dress for Alaska, we have varying opinions, from layering with practical items that can be used year round to bringing the fall/winter city clothes with you to wear in Ketchikan (just please don't bring the heels :D).

 

I'm a sociologist. I love to observe group behavior. This forum provides a target-rich environment for study...

Edited December 5, 2012 by slidergirl

[TheDunphys]

I came to this board before my first cruise. I kept thinking about having to abide by a strict dress code and rules and wanted to see just what I had to do. It then became a source of strange intrigue and, many times, a laugh or two. I never knew that there was a whole cult out there for dedicated to buying specific clothes just for a cruise. I even get a chuckle when I see things about "appropriate travel attire" - I'm supposed to plan and buy a special ensemble when I'm going to be stuffed into a metal tube with 200 other people for 8 hours??? I mean, when I grew up, we did not have a special wardrobe for vacation. We wore what we had. We got to go shopping three times a year - once for 2 new school outfits, once for Christmas, and once for 2 new summer outfits. What I wore at home was what went on vacation with me to Atlantic City, New York City, Southern California, Girl Scout Camp. This was bred in me, so that's still how I roll - no special vacation wardrobe.

I like to think that there are some who come to the boards for the same reason I did and we can offer our opinions based on our unique experiences. Some ladies lately have asked about how to pack lighter or more practical. Those of us with this base of experience have been able to offer our suggestions. I was especially having a good time hearing about SmoothDancer and how she was able to transform her travel items down to a manageable level and how she didn't feel like she missed any things she didn't take. I like how, when people bring up how to dress for Alaska, we have varying opinions, from layering with practical items that can be used year round to bringing the fall/winter city clothes with you to wear in Ketchikan (just please don't bring the heels :D).

 

I'm a sociologist. I love to observe group behavior. This forum provides a target-rich environment for study...

 

Fair enough, I get that.:)

[sherilyn70]

One last point. I'm a little intrigued as to why those that are so opposed to the subject of dressing were on the Cruise Fashion and Beauty Discussion Topic in the first place? I think Cruise Critic would be benefited if more people tried to understand anothers views rather than impose their own for the sake of argument.

 

I think most of us that are offended by the title of this post aren't actually against occasional dressing up. I know that's my case. Bottom line is though that society needs to stop pressuring people (especially young women) into looking a certain way in order to feel like she'll impress people or be wanted or considered attractive. Americans are full of body image issues as a result of this and girls actually kill themselves either intentionally (depression/suicide) or with eating disorders or drugs/alcohol to cope. Women need to stop being taught that they have to wear makeup in order to leave the house and must have styled hair to have anyone pay attention to them.

 

It's great if you like to dress up for the sake of it and no other reason. But it shouldn't be to "impress" anyone and it shouldn't be because society has told you that you have to in order to be considered pretty.

[TheDunphys]

Hi ladies..a while back, I posted a question to the men.

 

Does your lady dress to impress or for comfort. I was amazed at how many men said "for comfort", but they wish it were different.

 

Just wanted to say that the same 'dress to impress' idea goes for partners too. My DH makes an effort and I appreciate that just as he appreciates my efforts. If he was unshaven and dressed in rubber flip flops, an unironed T-shirt and scruffy shorts I wouldn't be too 'impressed'. He gets a whole lot more attention from me if he's clean-shaven (I have nothing against beards but he doesn't have one), wearing a clean, ironed tee and un-clashing shorts with sandals or sandshoes. Amazing what a bit of aftershave can do for his popularity too. :D

[calliopecruiser]

One last point. I'm a little intrigued as to why those that are so opposed to the subject of dressing were on the Cruise Fashion and Beauty Discussion Topic in the first place? I think Cruise Critic would be benefited if more people tried to understand anothers views rather than impose their own for the sake of argument.

 

Who's opposed to the subject of dressing? We all dress......we all wear clothes, we all buy clothes, and we all like beauty. Of course, people's opinions of beauty are all different, as are people's opinions of femininity. Not wearing makeup doesn't deny my femininity, though I find it very interesting that someone would associate being feminine with wearing makeup ;) and I think I'm an attractive woman in casual clothes without makeup or high heels. When I dress up for special occasions, I wear clothing and makeup that is special as befitting the occasion, but that's about dressing for an occasion, not about making myself feel more feminine or attractive.

 

This board is about far more than what's fashionable; it's about shopping, it's about packing, it's about dressing appropriately for different situations.....etc.

[TheDunphys]

Bottom line is though that society needs to stop pressuring people (especially young women) into looking a certain way in order to feel like she'll impress people or be wanted or considered attractive. Americans are full of body image issues as a result of this and girls actually kill themselves either intentionally (depression/suicide) or with eating disorders or drugs/alcohol to cope. Women need to stop being taught that they have to wear makeup in order to leave the house and must have styled hair to have anyone pay attention to them.

 

It's great if you like to dress up for the sake of it and no other reason. But it shouldn't be to "impress" anyone and it shouldn't be because society has told you that you have to in order to be considered pretty.

 

Absolutely I agree for the most part but feel there’s definitely a middle ground. I don’t think anyone is advocating that we all need to look like Heidi Klum, have perfect skin and a model thin body – hell I’m in trouble if that’s the case! Lets celebrate our imperfections and radiate beauty and confidence because of perceived flaws rather than despite them because lets face it, noone’s perfect. It starts by taking care of yourself. Treat yourself with the love and respect you deserve. We are all just as beautiful as the next person and whether 4 ft nothing or 6 ft 2”, a size 0 or a size 22, rock it. The sadest thing is someone who is resigned to never being able to live up to the ‘great ideal’ deciding she or he might as well give up and not make any effort. There’s a catch 22 element here. On the one hand you should be able to just be you whether you go out in your PJs or not but it doesn’t work like that - make the effort and confidence comes from knowing you’re looking your best - makeup or not.

 

So (with violins playing in the background) lets unhunch our shoulders, hide our tummy rolls rather than letting them overhang our jeans (and I do have rolls), shave those legs and hoist up what breasts we were given from our waists. Brush that hair or use a curling comb and make friends with your frizz, iron those wrinkles out (of your clothes – don’t try it on your face; it doesn’t work) and whether you like it or not you’ll be joining the ranks and people will be impressed – whether that was you’re intention or not because a person who takes care of themselves is attractive, it’s as simple as that.

[calliopecruiser]

So (with violins playing in the background) lets unhunch our shoulders, hide our tummy rolls rather than letting them overhang our jeans (and I do have rolls), shave those legs and hoist up what breasts we were given from our waists. Brush that hair or use a curling comb and make friends with your frizz, iron those wrinkles out (of your clothes – don’t try it on your face; it doesn’t work) and whether you like it or not you’ll be joining the ranks and people will be impressed – whether that was you’re intention or not because a person who takes care of themselves is attractive, it’s as simple as that.

 

Why should I care about shaving my legs to impress some stranger? I'm not being facetious, I'm asking seriously.......why should I do something I don't want to do in order to impress some stranger who means nothing to me? (Worse, why should I care about impressing a stranger who is impressed by something as ephemeral as the fantasy of a hairless woman or the fantasy of gravity-defying breasts?) I'm not ashamed of my body (all 225 lbs of it), nor of my wrinkles or gravity-influenced breasts, and I don't feel the need to change any of those things to fit what some stranger thinks I should look like. If I have the desire to impress someone specific (whether it's a bank manager or a date, etc), I make different choices than I do to please myself - but then I have a different goal in mind. For my daily life, I'm the most important person to please ;)

[TheDunphys]

Why should I care about shaving my legs to impress some stranger? I'm not being facetious, I'm asking seriously.......why should I do something I don't want to do in order to impress some stranger who means nothing to me? (Worse, why should I care about impressing a stranger who is impressed by something as ephemeral as the fantasy of a hairless woman or the fantasy of gravity-defying breasts?) I'm not ashamed of my body (all 225 lbs of it), nor of my wrinkles or gravity-influenced breasts, and I don't feel the need to change any of those things to fit what some stranger thinks I should look like. If I have the desire to impress someone specific (whether it's a bank manager or a date, etc), I make different choices than I do to please myself - but then I have a different goal in mind. For my daily life, I'm the most important person to please ;)

 

You're missing my point. It's not to impress anyone. It's just that people can't help but respond favourably to someone who takes care of themselves. Is it not a little hyprocritical to dress to impress a date if you're so happy with your own gravitational pull and hairy legs and would you agree then that perhaps a person should make an effort for their partner?

[calliopecruiser]

You're missing my point. It's not to impress anyone. It's just that people can't help but respond favourably to someone who takes care of themselves. Is it not a little hyprocritical to dress to impress a date if you're so happy with your own gravitational pull and hairy legs and would you agree then that perhaps a person should make an effort for their partner?

 

It's not hypocritical at all.......as I said, I have no problem with dressing "up" for particular circumstances. I'm not opposed to hair dos, makeup, accessorizing, fancy clothes, high heels, cosmetic surgery, hairless bodies, or any of those sorts of things. I am opposed to thinking that those things are required to "take care of oneself" or to be "feminine" or "attractive". I can't understand why not shaving my legs or not wearing makeup would make someone think I don't take care of myself - I think taking care of myself is taking care of my physical health, cleanliness, and mental health, none of which have to do with whether or not I wear a $200 bra (which does provide so much more support than my $40 bra) or whether or not I wear lipstick and eyeliner.

 

As for making an effort to please one's partner? Of course pleasing on'e partner is important, but what pleases one's partner will vary from partner to partner (so it's not for us to say what applies) and it's all a part of a much bigger picture of relationships and compromises - there are so many things that are important to do for one's partner, but no one can do them all.

 

By the way, I didn't say I was happy with my hairy body and gravitational pull, I said I wasn't ashamed of it. I very much wish it was different, but if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.....I'm not ashamed of aging, or of my body, and I decided that my health is more important than fretting over my hairy, wide-hipped genes, so my health is where I put my efforts and concerns.

[cruisemom42]

You're missing my point. It's not to impress anyone. It's just that people can't help but respond favourably to someone who takes care of themselves. Is it not a little hyprocritical to dress to impress a date if you're so happy with your own gravitational pull and hairy legs and would you agree then that perhaps a person should make an effort for their partner?

 

Here's where you lose me. I have a gravitational pull because I don't have time (or inclination) to shave my legs?

 

You can't seriously be suggesting that if I am an interesting person and have lots of things to talk about (because I didn't have time, in my busy life, to shave my legs, which incidentally are unlikely to be seen if I'm wearing pants or even a long casual dress) that I won't impress a date?

 

I reiterate: if that's the case, then it's clear he would not be the guy for me.

[TheDunphys]

Here's where you lose me. I have a gravitational pull because I don't have time (or inclination) to shave my legs?

 

You can't seriously be suggesting that if I am an interesting person and have lots of things to talk about (because I didn't have time, in my busy life, to shave my legs, which incidentally are unlikely to be seen if I'm wearing pants or even a long casual dress) that I won't impress a date?

 

I reiterate: if that's the case, then it's clear he would not be the guy for me.

 

The gravitational pull referred to the wearing of a supportive bra in my previous post. As for not shaving legs ... seriously?

[sherilyn70]

So (with violins playing in the background) lets unhunch our shoulders, hide our tummy rolls rather than letting them overhang our jeans (and I do have rolls), shave those legs and hoist up what breasts we were given from our waists. Brush that hair or use a curling comb and make friends with your frizz, iron those wrinkles out (of your clothes – don’t try it on your face; it doesn’t work) and whether you like it or not you’ll be joining the ranks and people will be impressed – whether that was you’re intention or not because a person who takes care of themselves is attractive, it’s as simple as that.

 

Why, because some man decided that you shouldn't have a natural body? Who decided that breast that are not young and perky had to be lifted up to the high heavens? When so many women out there all "suffer" from this why is it accepted that we have to do something to counter it to look attractive? Change the standard. For the record, I do wear a bra but it's because I don't like the swinging loose due to size and not because I feel they have to be hoisted up to get someones attention. They just happen to be conveniently out of my way if they are up a bit higher and secured in firmly.

 

Who decided that women couldn't have hair on their legs? Why is this considered unacceptable? (I personally have never had this issue because my hair is so baby fine and thin that no man has ever been able to tell the difference between shaved and unshaved, so I haven't shaved them in almost 20 years now so I may not be the best to understand this issue).

 

Who decided that having a little bit of fat on our bodies was also a horrible thing? Long long time ago men used to like women with a little meat on their bones, just look at pictures from history (1500-1600) and the commonly painted and sculpted rubenesque women. This used to be considered acceptable.

 

These are all society implied standards in the US and haven't always existed. In the Victorian era women decided that they needed to have tiny waists and often damaged themselves by wearing corsets that were too tightly laced. Some African tribes wear metal rings around their necks and think that the more elongated the neck becomes from adding rings the more attractive the woman. Women in the more modern world used to tan excessively (and many still do) to not be pale and damaged their skin and even got cancer from it. All in the desire to meet someone elses idea of beauty.

 

If we show off our real selves this really means that we don't take care of ourselves properly? I really don't grasp that concept. If I choose not to raise my breasts up and have the right amount of perk or cleavage this somehow implies I don't take care of myself? I wasn't aware that a requirement for taking care of myself was hiding what God (or whatever beliefs you subscribe to) gave you and that you needed to hide his "imprefections".