Do you dress to Impress?

[TheDunphys]

Why, because some man decided that you shouldn't have a natural body? Who decided that breast that are not young and perky had to be lifted up to the high heavens? When so many women out there all "suffer" from this why is it accepted that we have to do something to counter it to look attractive? Change the standard. For the record, I do wear a bra but it's because I don't like the swinging loose due to size and not because I feel they have to be hoisted up to get someones attention. They just happen to be conveniently out of my way if they are up a bit higher and secured in firmly.

 

I’ve never mentioned nor implied one has to be ‘perky’ or sex it up but I do think it’s good form to wear a bra if you’re anything other than self supporting. Make it an Ahhh Bra if you find them uncomfortable. Apart from providing healthy support it again seems appropriate not to dangle one’s assets in full swing. If you choose not to as a political statement I can respect that.

 

Who decided that women couldn't have hair on their legs? Why is this considered unacceptable? (I personally have never had this issue because my hair is so baby fine and thin that no man has ever been able to tell the difference between shaved and unshaved, so I haven't shaved them in almost 20 years now so I may not be the best to understand this issue).

 

The reality is, rightly or wrongly, we live in a society where shaving your legs is currently the norm. What I find sad is when a person doesn’t shave through a ‘why bother’ attitude towards personal grooming. If you’re making a political statement by not shaving your legs I respect that too.

 

Who decided that having a little bit of fat on our bodies was also a horrible thing? Long long time ago men used to like women with a little meat on their bones, just look at pictures from history (1500-1600) and the commonly painted and sculpted rubenesque women. This used to be considered acceptable.

 

I certainly don’t think it’s a horrible thing, nor have I said anything to that effect. I’m not about perfection at all. I’m about celebrating all shapes and sizes and if you'd read my previous posts properly you'd see that. What I do find sad is a lack of self-respect such as wearing clothes that don’t fit so that other’s end up seeing far more of another person’s beautiful rubenesque or skinny body than they choose too outside of a bedroom. And I do agree Rubens painted beautiful nudes but his subjects were also often clothed and always covered their rolly bits (with the exception of a lot of cleavage). See thumbnail below.

 

These are all society implied standards in the US and haven't always existed. In the Victorian era women decided that they needed to have tiny waists and often damaged themselves by wearing corsets that were too tightly laced. Some African tribes wear metal rings around their necks and think that the more elongated the neck becomes from adding rings the more attractive the woman. Women in the more modern world used to tan excessively (and many still do) to not be pale and damaged their skin and even got cancer from it. All in the desire to meet someone elses idea of beauty.

 

See above. I’m not suggesting corsets, metal rings or tanning clinics. I’m a big fan of sunblock and being comfortable.

 

If we show off our real selves this really means that we don't take care of ourselves properly? I really don't grasp that concept. If I choose not to raise my breasts up and have the right amount of perk or cleavage this somehow implies I don't take care of myself? I wasn't aware that a requirement for taking care of myself was hiding what God (or whatever beliefs you subscribe to) gave you and that you needed to hide his "imprefections".

 

See above.

 

Simply put I'm merely promoting an attitude of self–respect and good manners when it comes to dress.

[TheDunphys]

Here are some rather extreme pics of what I'm trying to express is not great for anyone's self-esteem when it comes to dress standards. :eek:

[Happy ks]

Wow, this discussion took a bit of a turn.

 

The human race has been embellishing and using beauty regimens from the beginning of time. Wearing makeup and styling your hair to be suitable for the fashion trend of today is the norm, not something anyone is forced into.

 

There are always extremes, from Real Housewives, the Kardashians or pop stars that take fashion to the edge and some people try to emulate them. The majority of people want to look well and fit in. If not wearing makeup nor fixing your hair is comfortable to you, fine, some people look great without adornments.

 

My dressing to impress myself is a lifelong habit, I've been wearing makeup and doing my hair and trying to dress well since I was in my teens...I'm 59 now and I don't think I'll be stopping those habits any time soon.

 

That some people don't care and are in public in sloppy clothing, no makeup, hair not done...well I do try not to assume anything because I've been wrong so many times. It's not just women, it's men as well, unkempt just isn't a good look for anyone. If they look unclean I'm liable to think they will smell bad and I keep my distance (think Vigo Mortenson).

 

On the other hand, I'm not impressed with overdone hair/makeup/clothing, as mentioned in the above paragraph. I think it looks a bit silly to have hair bleached to the max with ratty extensions, long phony fingernails, caked on makeup, bad facelifts and bosoms level with shoulders that feel more like elbows.

 

People watching can be amusing.

Edited December 6, 2012 by Happy ks

[sherilyn70]

Here are some rather extreme pics of what I'm trying to express is not great for anyone's self-esteem when it comes to dress standards. :eek:

 

Now... you've touched on other subjects. You've gone to the extreme in using these as examples. You first have to realize you're targeting the poor, which is a little unfair. Most of them can barely afford to have a roof over their head or hot water and you're judging them based on their clothing? You can't honestly think that this is what most of us are referring to when we say don't dress up, right? These people in your pictures are unfortunate and can't afford to just go buy new clothing, they don't have the luxury of buying properly fitted clothing (have you ever tried on stuff at walmart?) and if they get to big for a size they can't just go out and buy new stuff. There's a reason they're often obese as well... junk food is cheap and fresh fruits and meat are expensive. I can feed myself on 2500 calories for less than $10/day yet if I want to eat only 1300 and not feel like I'm starving it costs me double that.

 

I don't think any of us were talking about either extreme or this picture would have been posted already:

 

so can we get back to actually discussing the real issues that several of us have with this idea of having to wear makeup and dress up to impress others? None of us are referring to the people of walmart as examples of how we live and I don't believe any of you were referring to looking like the tanning mom above.

[calliopecruiser]

Here are some rather extreme pics of what I'm trying to express is not great for anyone's self-esteem when it comes to dress standards. :eek:

 

How do you know what those women's self-esteem is like? Wow, you're making a lot of assumptions about women based on what YOU think they should dress like.......However, as has been said, many of those pictures on that website (yes, I've seen it and it saddens me) are really targeting the poor and financially struggling people who don't have the luxury of shopping for well-fitting and up to date clothes to keep up with fashion and body changes. One the other hand, perhaps they're bursting with self-esteem and like to show off their body in short-shorts.....whether you think it's appropriate or attractive doesn't mean it is about their self esteem, LOL.

 

Yes, I frequently don't shave my legs......why bother? (LOL). I don't care whether my legs are shaved or not, and as they are usually not seen by anyone who cares about such things (except maybe some strangers at the gym who's opinion I don't care about), I don't know why I should do something I don't like to do every day to accomplish something that doesn't matter to me. My doctor and massage therapist don't care, for instance - they care if I'm clean, but they don't care if I'm hairy.

 

And many of Rubens paintings depicted overweight people with very few, if any, clothes: http://www.google.ca/search?num=10&hl=en&site=imghp&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1680&bih=954&q=rubens&oq=rubens&gs_l=img.3..0l10.764.1788.0.2503.6.6.0.0.0.0.137.626.1j5.6.0...0.0...1ac.1.s-L8I-gpwps

Edited December 6, 2012 by calliopecruiser
grammar

[calliopecruiser]

Simply put I'm merely promoting an attitude of self–respect and good manners when it comes to dress.

 

I keep coming back to this statement every time I see it.......why would dressing to impress you say something positive about respecting myself? I seriously don't understand why you feel this way. Surely, if someone had self respect, they would dress to impress themselves and feel good about how they look. A case could be made that adhering strictly to social conventions in appearance all the time might show lower self respect, because it's an attempt to gain external respect based on appearance, maybe to shore up a lack of self-respect? Because I respect myself, I value my opinion more than some vague societal standard that varies from area to area anyway.

 

Perhaps people who dress casually and women who don't wear makeup or heels don't have good self esteem, but maybe they do and value their own choices more than some stranger's - how can you tell from looking at a picture? (Except of course for body language - but that's about way, way more than how a person dresses, which is what you're talking about.)

[Bookish Angel]

I don't dress up or wear makeup to go to the grocery store or run errands and I am generally running those errands in (gasp!) old jeans or sweatpants and sneakers and a fitted t-shirt. I do this not because I can't afford better or can't get properly fitting clothes; I retired at 29 and am 5' 2" and a decently fit 105 pounds.

 

I dress completely as I please on my leisure time and at work unless I am pressing the flesh for donations and even then, I never do the corporate suit look as it is SO not me. I am always showered and have clean, neat hair, but the folks at Whole Foods and Trader Joe's or the vet's office, etc. are not on my "dress to impress" list and do not get any extra grooming from me but they get my respect and friendly attitude; the best accessories of all time in my opinion.

 

When I go out with people I CARE about such as my husband and friends, I am dressed and made up very nicely in an artsy, minimalist style that gets compliments from the people I care about. I have a panda tattoo that is often seen; sometimes with a sleeveless top with jeansor capris, sometimes with a Talbot's shift and heels.

 

I don't care one bit if woman does not shave her legs or dye her graying hair or wear makeup or dress up. I just want women to be clean and happy in their own skin, regardless of the size of that skin. If people want to dress to impress that is fine, too, but please do not judge others who do not have that desire at all times.

 

sherilyn70, you have made thoughtful, excellent points herein and I agree with you 100%.

Edited December 6, 2012 by Bookish Angel

[calliopecruiser]

I just want women to be clean and happy in their own skin, regardless of the size of that skin.

 

Thank you for saying this so concisely and positively.

[cruisemom42]

I just want women to be clean and happy in their own skin, regardless of the size of that skin. If people want to dress to impress that is fine, too, but please do not judge others who do not have that desire at all times.

 

 

Yes, you've stated it perfectly. (I think the second part is key.) :)

 

 

Dunphys: So it is okay by you not to shave one's legs or go braless as long as it is a political statement? Do you suggest women wear some sort of placard so that you can tell which ones to respect because of their political stance versus the ones you wouldn't respect, who may have just been overwhelmed with work and a sick child or ailing parent and simply didn't have the time? :rolleyes:

Edited December 6, 2012 by cruisemom42

[lhanson38]

Wow this thread is going all over the place.

So let me start with I shave every day I don't do this for anybody but me. For ME I don't feel clean with body hair. I also always wear a bra I would never go out of my house with out one. And one that fits, Wearing a bra that dosn't fit is as bad as not wearing one to ME!

Hell I wear a bra to bed 90% of the time, Why becuse I want to it make me look better and feel better. Will I look at women who are braless and hairy and think Ick..Yes I will would I say anything to them No. Do I look at men in sloppy clothes and messy hair, unshaven and think Ick. Yes I do.

If You are sloppy looking unshaven ,braless, belly hanging over your pants Man or women I'm going to think your a slob and more than likely smelly!

Just the way I think. Is this mean or wrong of me don't know don't care its how I feel.

[miched]

Women dress to impress other women, if they dressed to impress men they wouldn't wear anything except sunglasses if required. :D

[lara_lox]

Women dress to impress other women, if they dressed to impress men they wouldn't wear anything except sunglasses if required. :D

 

Hahaaaaa! :D Thank you - finally a bit of light heartedness between all the rowing and 'I'M RIGHT, YOU MUST AGREE WITH ME' posts :rolleyes:

[sherilyn70]

Hahaaaaa! :D Thank you - finally a bit of light heartedness between all the rowing and 'I'M RIGHT, YOU MUST AGREE WITH ME' posts :rolleyes:

 

I haven't seen a single person say "I'm right" or "you must agree with me". All that's happened is people presenting different points of view and trying to enlighten the other side. Is it bad to try and understand multiple points of view?

[chichi501]

Every one should dress up a little. Especially on Formal Nights.,it makes you feel so much better about your self. But then again I blame the cruise lines for becoming so lax as to what their passengers may wear. I find it absolutely insulting as a guest to walk into the dining room and find men sitting their with a baseball cap on. Grow up guys! We normally travel with my 4 daughters and their family. We are always complimented from fellow passengers of how well dressed my family is! And beleive me prude we are not.Pre gaming and party hearty is in our blood. And please don't use the limit to suitcase excuse!

[arhillbilly]

Arhillbilly, I love looking through your posts on this sub! You always have such lovely dresses!

 

Thank you :)

[sjb317]

I haven't seen a single person say "I'm right" or "you must agree with me". All that's happened is people presenting different points of view and trying to enlighten the other side. Is it bad to try and understand multiple points of view?[/quote

 

You're right, I don't think anyone has used those words but that is the tone I pick up when I have read some posts. I think Dunphy must feel like she is under attack.

 

Sherri:)

[Mariewj]

I'm retired / on disability. At 53 comfort is important to me. However I have always thought both style and comfort are possible. I get dressed every day, some days that may be jeans and a top or sweater, slacks ro a skirt or dress. Unless I'm exercising no sweats. It's always been my style to wear makeup, perfume and jewelry everyday. It's what's comfortable to me. I don't do heels because of my disability. but flats can be stylish and I refuse to be a fashion victim by wearing anything uncomfortable. I never wore jeans to class in high school or college it's just not who I am. I am plus sized but I've never let that be a deterrent to being put together. I think people get lazy and take things and spouses for granted. My husband loves me as much now as a size 22 as when I was a size 9. However you should dress well for your self not anyone else. I think men notice more than we think. I've had many a guy ask me where I shop, because they want to treat their wives to a new wardrobe and the wives especially plus size women say they can find nice clothes in their sizes. It may take some work but its worth it. I have seen some outfits on cruises that I would not wear if I was painting or gardening

[slidergirl]

Every one should dress up a little. Especially on Formal Nights.,it makes you feel so much better about your self. But then again I blame the cruise lines for becoming so lax as to what their passengers may wear. I find it absolutely insulting as a guest to walk into the dining room and find men sitting their with a baseball cap on. Grow up guys! We normally travel with my 4 daughters and their family. We are always complimented from fellow passengers of how well dressed my family is! And beleive me prude we are not.Pre gaming and party hearty is in our blood. And please don't use the limit to suitcase excuse!

 

There is something wrong this: you're saying that dressing up on Formal Night is going to make me feel so much better about myself??? Nothing is further from the truth. What makes you think that I need to feel better about myself??? If you're insulted by what other people are wearing WITH THE CRUISELINES' blessing, you are cruising the wrong line. The cruiselines are there to make a profit and they have decided on what demographics they want to attract to make those profits. It's not the 50s anymore and the mass cruiselines are not catering to the Cleavers anymore and they don't check your passport to see if you come from Stepford...

Perhaps your family needs to explore the premium lines where dress codes are still strictly enforced, like Cunard and Crystal.

[Porthopper101]

When I tell my friends and other people, I like myseft & I am my best friend, some people say I am conceited. The fact is no one can be like by other if they don't like themselves. No one knows you better than yourself. I know who I am. I know what I like. I dress for myself. I know my husband is proud of me, that is all matter. I never worry about what other people think.

 

Happy crusing

 

M

Edited December 6, 2012 by Porthopper101

[lhanson38]

There is something wrong this: you're saying that dressing up on Formal Night is going to make me feel so much better about myself??? Nothing is further from the truth. What makes you think that I need to feel better about myself??? If you're insulted by what other people are wearing WITH THE CRUISELINES' blessing, you are cruising the wrong line. The cruiselines are there to make a profit and they have decided on what demographics they want to attract to make those profits. It's not the 50s anymore and the mass cruiselines are not catering to the Cleavers anymore and they don't check your passport to see if you come from Stepford...

Perhaps your family needs to explore the premium lines where dress codes are still strictly enforced, like Cunard and Crystal.

 

I Think what she is saying is one should dress for the venue. And the venue is formal on formal night. Just as someone really shouldn't wear a dress and heels in the woods. You really shouldn't wear jeans and a tee in the dining room. I didn't realize that dressing for the event that your going to made you a cleaver or a stepford wife. Just something to think about:)

[slidergirl]

I Think what she is saying is one should dress for the venue. And the venue is formal on formal night. Just as someone really shouldn't wear a dress and heels in the woods. You really shouldn't wear jeans and a tee in the dining room. I didn't realize that dressing for the event that your going to made you a cleaver or a stepford wife. Just something to think about:)

 

She did not say dress for the venue, she said dressing up would make us feel better about ourselves.

If the dining room dress code said Tshirt and jeans was acceptable, you bet I'd be there in that ensemble if I was in that mood. Why shouldn't I be able to wear something that is OK to the cruise line? On "dress up or not" night (yes I cruise NCL) if I wear my basic long black tank dress with the one pair of non-athletic shoes I brought, my fantastic white ceramic watch and my plain silver ball stud earring, I won't be feeling good about myself???

[luckycruzer]

When I tell my friends and other people, I like myseft & I am my best friend, some people say I am conceited. The fact is no one can be like by other if they don't like themselves. No one knows you better than yourself. I know who I am. I know what I like. I dress for myself. I know my husband is proud of me, that is all matter. I never worry about what other people think.

 

Happy crusing

 

M

 

 

agree, as I am the same!

[sherilyn70]

Every one should dress up a little. Especially on Formal Nights.,it makes you feel so much better about your self.

 

Just as others asked... why would this make me feel better about myself? Why would spending an hour getting dressed and losing time to relax out of my schedule make me feel better about myself? Why would wearing clothing that I can't sit the way I like in make me feel better about myself? Why would not having pockets and now having to either mess with a purse or having my husband carry things for me make me feel better about myself? As soon as we're done eating the first thing we do is go and change.

 

The only reason I dressed up for formal night as much as I did on the last cruise was because I wanted good wedding pictures (and yes, I did wear a black dress). I got married in a Panera Bread on my lunch wearing jeans and then we had a party with no dress code at a local restaurant that weekend and our friends all paid for their meals separately as their gift to us. Instead of a wedding cake we shared a bread pudding with whiskey sauce. We went on our cruise a few weeks later for my birthday and so we also turned it into a honeymoon. No need for anything formal.

[xenagurl]

Yes, I dress to impress. It is not for other passengers, but for how it makes me feel to be put together. When you look good, you feel good. I like to present myself well in public. I also want my husband to admire the view, and I love his compliments. I am very much into hair and makeup. If someone else is not, than that is their business. I just know what is acceptable for myself. Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and makeup colors!

 

Well said. And kudos for leaving out snark. :)

[Cloda]

And if I impress that's even better!

I have to admit I love dresses, shoes, hair-stuff and make-up; but it as to fit with my style and my age.