HappilyRetiredToo Posted January 21, 2013 #1 Share Posted January 21, 2013 Kind of hesitate to ask this, but here goes... DW and I were on an Oceania cruise, and in one of the specialty restaurants where we had to share a table. It was pretty obvious within seconds of being seated that we and the others at the table were a mis-match. I am pretty down to earth and the others were... less so. The QUESTION IS... would it have been appropriate to discretely ask to be seated at a different table? I didn't and pretty much suffered thru dinner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jancruz Posted January 21, 2013 #2 Share Posted January 21, 2013 Kind of hesitate to ask this, but here goes... DW and I were on an Oceania cruise, and in one of the specialty restaurants where we had to share a table. It was pretty obvious within seconds of being seated that we and the others at the table were a mis-match. I am pretty down to earth and the others were... less so. The QUESTION IS... would it have been appropriate to discretely ask to be seated at a different table? I didn't and pretty much suffered thru dinner. I know you are going to get many answers to your question but IMHO, I would have done exactly as you did and tried to make the best of a bad situation..it was only for a couple of hours out of a lifetime..I personally say good for you!! Jancruz1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappilyRetiredToo Posted January 21, 2013 Author #3 Share Posted January 21, 2013 I know you are going to get many answers to your question but IMHO, I would have done exactly as you did and tried to make the best of a bad situation..it was only for a couple of hours out of a lifetime..I personally say good for you!!Jancruz1 Well, it DID make "you-know-who" happy - I think she would have been mortified no matter how discrete I did it. I also considered the NSA factor - that I would Never See those folks Again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jancruz Posted January 21, 2013 #4 Share Posted January 21, 2013 Well, it DID make "you-know-who" happy - I think she would have been mortified no matter how discrete I did it. I also considered the NSA factor - that I would Never See those folks Again. I think you were perfect!! Jancruz1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiawahdon Posted January 21, 2013 #5 Share Posted January 21, 2013 I want to make sure I understand. If I am not in a suite, I can pay a fee to eat in the specialty restaurants and be seated with other non-compatible table mates? What happened to a table for 2? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoHoHo Posted January 21, 2013 #6 Share Posted January 21, 2013 I agree with Jancruz. We once were seated at lunch with three others already seated and I am pretty sure they did not care for our company. Or perhaps they had just had a fight before we arrived. We attempted conversation a couple of times but that went no where. They just hurriedly ate and left. As uncomfortable as that was, DW & I still enjoyed OUR conversation. That was an exception as we always(-1) have wonderful and interesting table mates. That said, there are times when we do want to dine alone, an intimate dinner at Jacques or sometimes just too tired from a long day of touring to be very good company ourselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruin Steve Posted January 21, 2013 #7 Share Posted January 21, 2013 I want to make sure I understand. If I am not in a suite, I can pay a fee to eat in the specialty restaurants and be seated with other non-compatible table mates? What happened to a table for 2? No fee for the specialty restaurants on Oceania (save La Reserve)... ...and we've never had a problem getting a table for two...though we more often want to dine with others... Sometimes, the matches at dinner tables--whether the main dining room or a specialty restaurant--are not good...but if so, we just try to make the best of it... ...thugh I often recall one night on Nautica when we were seated with the absolute worst dinner companion we've ever come across--a terribly bigoted and obnoxious woman...I think even her husband wasn't even happy about sharing a table with her! Luckily, it was a table of 8, so we were able to focus our attention on others at the table who we actually enjoyed dining with...and, trust me, that was an exception. Usually, I try to involve everyone at the table in the conversation, but, for this woman, we made an exception... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoHoHo Posted January 21, 2013 #8 Share Posted January 21, 2013 I want to make sure I understand. If I am not in a suite, I can pay a fee to eat in the specialty restaurants and be seated with other non-compatible table mates? What happened to a table for 2? Whether in a suite or not does not apply. No, you cannot pay a fee to eat in one of the specially restaurants - they are priceless (included in the cruise fare, you cannot buy a seat). Everyone is guaranteed at least four reservations in total in the various specialty restaurants, more if you are in suites, more on longer cruises. There are fewer tables for two so harder to get at popular times/days. When making your specialty reservations you can choose to share a table or not. No reservations at the Grand Dining room so when you arrive the Maitre d' will ask if you want to share or not. There are usually more tables for two in the GDR. Many O pax prefer to share. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caviargal Posted January 21, 2013 #9 Share Posted January 21, 2013 We almost always opt for a table for 2. We prefer not to have to make conversation and just enjoy each others company. DH would have suffered through it. I would have made an excuse, such as looking at the menu and deciding that nothing appealed to me and therefore moving on. He would have been happy but he would not do that himself. I have learned to put my own enjoyment first in situations such as this. Recently, I was in my early morning yoga class and at the very last minute, a substitute came in. She is an instructor I do not care for and I did not want to waste my morning exercise time taking a class I would not enjoy. I rolled up my mat and left I am a regular at this gym and know the instructor as well as the other students and there was certainly no subtle way to take my leave. While some may have thought this rude, it is my time and therefore my decision on whether to suffer in silence or make the decision to fix the problem and enjoy my time. I would do the same if stuck with dining companions that would detract from my enjoyment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orchestrapal Posted January 21, 2013 #10 Share Posted January 21, 2013 If there is no table for two we make other arrangements. Why suffer and ruin a perfectly good cruise night. After all how many such nights are there? ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeatherInFlorida Posted January 21, 2013 #11 Share Posted January 21, 2013 Oceania can almost always provide a table for two if that is your choice so I don't see a problem there for people who want to dine alone. In this case the couple chose to share which is a choice many of us make. We had a table for two for my husband's birthday dinner, but the rest of the time we shared and enjoyed every evening. Of course, reading this post, I always worry "hope that wasn't us!":). I think you grin and bear it and you definitely did the right thing. To do anything else is hurtful and the truth is that even if they are people you don't 'click' with, that doesn't make them bad people. And I think it would definitely be hurtful to excuse yourself even if you suggest the menu doesn't suit your taste (what are the chances? The menu is right outside the restaurants;) ) So it's a clear "we're not particularly fond of you people" statement. It's just a couple hours and we can excuse ourselves quickly at the end of dinner. I always take a "go with the flow" attitude and often am pleasantly surprised:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendy The Wanderer Posted January 21, 2013 #12 Share Posted January 21, 2013 I'm sure the smaller specialty restaurants on Oceania are the same as on Regent--there's not a lot of 2-tops available, so you often are asked to share. In my experience, sharing a table for 4 with strangers is the worst scenario possible. I much prefer a table for 6, personally. (Less so a table for 8 since it's just too big.) With six, you stand a good chance of enjoying someone at the table. With a table for four, incompatability is just too tough to slide by. This has only happened to us twice I believe, that we had little to say to our table mates and the whole dinner was, uh, uncomfortable. Other times, with 6, there has often been one or two people who "stuck out" for some (negative) reason, but there was always someone else at the table who was pleasant and interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tansy Mews Posted January 21, 2013 #13 Share Posted January 21, 2013 Just back from a 37 day cruise. We shared most nights in the GDR, a few times at other meals and once as an extra reservation in a specialty restaurant. Only once were we really uncomfortable with our table mates. I switched the conversation from politics to her pet dog. Not sure what I would have done if I had been sitting with the man I heard holding forth in one specialty restaurant - eaten quickly? Even though he was at the next table his bombast affected me and my DH would were eating alone! On the other hand, we had tons of wonderful conversations and it wouldn't put us off asking for a share table in the GDR. Still prefer to book tables for two in the specialty restaurants though. For extra reservations, we will be happy to share. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare LHT28 Posted January 21, 2013 #14 Share Posted January 21, 2013 We have been there a few time but we are to polite to ask to be moved We usually ask for a 2 top when we want some quiet time but prefer a 6 top for the best case scenario I would just skip dessert & say our goodbyes ...no need to linger if you are uncomfortable ;) Lyn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mura Posted January 21, 2013 #15 Share Posted January 21, 2013 It seems that you were right in your assumption that you guys were a mis-match, but I am thinking myself of one time when we were given a table in the GDR on one of the "R" ships (we had asked to share). When the other couple came to the table I jumped to the conclusion that we wouldn't be compatible based just on appearance. Was I ever wrong! They became good friends, we have even visited them at their home on the opposite end of the country. So it can be hard to tell. I would probably have done as you did ... even if indeed the other couple had just been obviously too different from ourselves. Making an excuse to leave the restaurant entirely right away at the outset sounds like a reasonable approach to me ... whether you just got a headache or don't find the menu appealing. The longer you wait, though, the more awkward it gets. At least it's only one meal and not an entire cruise! We prefer to share because it gives us an opportunity to meet more people and we are always dining alone at home anyway. We don't mind the "risk" of an incompatible couple, especially since that has happened oh so rarely. And often as we make friends on the cruise, we will suggest having dinner together. Mura P.S. Politics is definitely a subject we try to avoid at these times! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TKS Posted January 21, 2013 #16 Share Posted January 21, 2013 You never know when you're seated who you will find. That's part of the fun. Being from New Mexico we don't usually find many fellow New Mexicans aboard. One cruise we were told there was another couple aboard, but on one could point them out. Just by accident one evening in GDR it turns out we were seated with them. They'd heard about us too, so we had fun talking about how fate sometimes works. Did we have much in common? No, but they were wonderful people and we enjoyed a 2-hour conversation. Finding some kind of touch point is critical, and it sometimes takes a while. Sometimes small talk is the best way to handle such an uncomfortable situation. Because, likely, the other couple felt the same way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RetiredFL Posted January 21, 2013 #17 Share Posted January 21, 2013 We have always gotten a table for two at the specialty restaurants except for one time when we asked for an extra reservation. We dine early so that may make a difference. I suspect that had we been in the situation of the OP, I would have egged her on, much to Frank's embarrassment. After all the entertainment is not much on the R ships, might as well have made our own. (Actually we have never had a problem with tablemates when we have shared so who knows what I would have really done.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendy The Wanderer Posted January 21, 2013 #18 Share Posted January 21, 2013 ...I would just skip dessert & say our goodbyes ...no need to linger if you are uncomfortable ;) Lyn How about feigning illness? We were tempted to do this last time on Regent Voyager--had been invited to dine with the F&B manager, a charming man. But there was only one other couple there, and they were like daggers to us--youngish, wealthy, very snobby and "in" because they cruised a lot (and when I saw daggers, I mean they were sending us cutting looks all during dinner). Could not wait to get away from them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare LHT28 Posted January 21, 2013 #19 Share Posted January 21, 2013 How about feigning illness? We were tempted to do this last time on Regent Voyager--had been invited to dine with the F&B manager, a charming man. But there was only one other couple there, and they were like daggers to us--youngish, wealthy, very snobby and "in" because they cruised a lot (and when I saw daggers, I mean they were sending us cutting looks all during dinner). Could not wait to get away from them! I guess maybe a sudden migraine might work in that case ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mura Posted January 21, 2013 #20 Share Posted January 21, 2013 And it wouldn't have to be feigned ... Mura Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappilyRetiredToo Posted January 21, 2013 Author #21 Share Posted January 21, 2013 Many thanks to all. I should hasten to add that the OTHER times we dined at a shared table, the companions were all great. We met a nice, quirky lady at and her family. Another time we met others whose life was fairly similar to our own - with very enjoyable conversations about our g'kids, the joys of being retired, etc. The situation at hand was DEFINITLY the odd one out. @Heather in Florida.... No, ma'am... I don't believe we have met. I agree with other posters, a table for 6 seems a good size. Big enough that you are not limited to "just" the other couple (nor are THEY limited to us!!) and yet not so large as to be impersonal. On further reflection, should it ever happen again, I think i **will** upset the apple cart and ask to be reseated. As Orchestra Pal sez... **Why suffer and ruin a perfectly good cruise night. After all how many such nights are there?** Better to switch to another table and have an enjoyable evening - even STAY for dessert!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendy The Wanderer Posted January 21, 2013 #22 Share Posted January 21, 2013 ... On further reflection, should it ever happen again, I think i **will** upset the apple cart and ask to be reseated. As Orchestra Pal sez... **Why suffer and ruin a perfectly good cruise night. After all how many such nights are there?** Better to switch to another table and have an enjoyable evening - even STAY for dessert!! I agree. You could just excuse yourself, and say you're suddenly not feeling well. Then come back into the other side of the dining room, or go up to the Terrace!! Of course, if they were really overtly obnoxious, you wouldn't even need that excuse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whiteowl Posted January 21, 2013 #23 Share Posted January 21, 2013 On our Marina cruise we were sat outside on the Terrace one evening. Every table was taken. Next to us were a couple at a table for 4, they left their table to get their entrees. While away another couple who had been hovering nearby sat down and when they returned, they said'we have decided to join you'. The other couple did not look pleased at all. The new couple tried to make conversation and were very persistent although it was obvious they were not welcome. I then saw the original couple get up to get their appetiser. They never returned! I am sure it totally spoilt their evening and the new couple got their table for 2 out on the terrace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeatherInFlorida Posted January 21, 2013 #24 Share Posted January 21, 2013 .................. We prefer to share because it gives us an opportunity to meet more people and we are always dining alone at home anyway. We don't mind the "risk" of an incompatible couple, especially since that has happened oh so rarely. And often as we make friends on the cruise, we will suggest having dinner together. Mura P.S. Politics is definitely a subject we try to avoid at these times! Us, too. I know some couples rarely get a chance to dine alone together, but in our case it's every night. We both love sharing a table and with rare exception we've never had a problem. Even when you think initially you have nothing in common, in no time you will find that you do. On this cruise there was a night that we all were having a great time talking about this or that and toward the end of dinner one person was talking about the leap to taking longer cruises. I said our problem was our dog; that there's a limit how long we can ask our friends to watch her. Well ... the flood gates opened and next thing you know everyone is opening their iPhones with pictures of their dogs and the evening went on even longer than we anticipated. I know there are people who are just difficult to be with, but for the most part we've found that we can have fun with almost anyone who also enjoys sharing a table. But politics are a huge no-no ... most especially now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappilyRetiredToo Posted January 21, 2013 Author #25 Share Posted January 21, 2013 they said'we have decided to join you'. Wow. I have ASKED "may we join you?" and on the odd time the reception was less than warm, I "suddenly" see ''"Oh, look, (DW), there is (so and so) over there" and then excuse ourselves from the original request. I would NOT want to impose on anyone. Never a polite thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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