Difficult Decision

[reilly1]

Sorry to be depressing but I have just heard that one of the friends who is supposed to be on a mini cruise with us on 29th October lost her sister (only 49) to cancer this morning. Her partner has asked me to cancel the cruise for them. I was thinking of delaying the cancellation for a few days, until after the funeral, as it might be good for them to get away for a break - there are 10 of us, all friends, booked. The funeral will be this Friday, so the cruise is a good 10 days afterwards. What do you all think? She has never cruised before and it may be just the distraction she needs at this time. Not sure what to do. I booked everything for all of us.

[rance]

I would wait to cancel. If you were far enough out to get a deposit back or refund that would be different, but at this stage it seems you are keeping an option open.

Good luck

[P&C4/16/67]

Reading your post, I'm assuming you haven't told her you were delaying cancellation. Does she have insurance with RCI or an outside source? I'd make sure they weren't planning on submitting a claim right away, being the sailing is so close, and submitting documentation later.

[reilly1]

She only has basic travel insurance, free through a UK bank. We booked in April 2011 for this October 2013 cruise and it was really cheap. I am sure she is not really worried about the money in this case. I will leave it until a few days after the funeral and broach the subject with her partner. I would just love her to get away for a break - it is only 4 nights.

[skiiergirl]

Sorry to be depressing but I have just heard that one of the friends who is supposed to be on a mini cruise with us on 29th October lost her sister (only 49) to cancer this morning. Her partner has asked me to cancel the cruise for them. I was thinking of delaying the cancellation for a few days, until after the funeral, as it might be good for them to get away for a break - there are 10 of us, all friends, booked. The funeral will be this Friday, so the cruise is a good 10 days afterwards. What do you all think? She has never cruised before and it may be just the distraction she needs at this time. Not sure what to do. I booked everything for all of us.

 

I agree the cruise would probably do her good. But does she have family members at home that will need her to be there to support them during this devastating time? (parents, other siblings, Nieces/nephews, etc)

[reilly1]

That is my main worry - she has an elderly mother in her 80's although there is also a brother to keep an eye on her. If it was a long cruise, that could be difficult, but it is a mini cruise so we are only away for 4 nights.

[kyriecat]

Since it's less than 14-days until sailing, you won't get anything back whether you cancel today or wait until the day you sail. Personally, I would wait since there is no additional financial impact. Loss of someone close to you is an emotional time and it's easy to make a quick decision that you reconsider later. Since it's her sister and not a spouse or parent who passed, I assume the friend is not executrix of the sister's estate.

 

My dad passed away last year after an extended illness. During the several months he was ill, it was an emotional rollercoaster for the family since he would seem better for a few days then have a downward spiral followed by another upturn. After he passed, I was exhausted both mentally and physically from working full time and helping with his care as well as the worry about him. I would have liked a cruise just to get away from "reality" for a few days. However, my mom needed support and wasn't up to dealing with estate matters at that time so my cruise had to wait a few months.

 

I would let your friend know that there isn't a financial impact by waiting to cancel and that the cruise will be available if she feels like she needs to get away for a few days. Let her and her partner decide whether she is up to going or not. It may be good for her or she may need to stay home to help with family matters.

[reilly1]

Since it's less than 14-days until sailing, you won't get anything back whether you cancel today or wait until the day you sail. Personally, I would wait since there is no additional financial impact. Loss of someone close to you is an emotional time and it's easy to make a quick decision that you reconsider later. Since it's her sister and not a spouse or parent who passed, I assume the friend is not executrix of the sister's estate.

 

My dad passed away last year after an extended illness. During the several months he was ill, it was an emotional rollercoaster for the family since he would seem better for a few days then have a downward spiral followed by another upturn. After he passed, I was exhausted both mentally and physically from working full time and helping with his care as well as the worry about him. I would have liked a cruise just to get away from "reality" for a few days. However, my mom needed support and wasn't up to dealing with estate matters at that time so my cruise had to wait a few months.

 

I would let your friend know that there isn't a financial impact by waiting to cancel and that the cruise will be available if she feels like she needs to get away for a few days. Let her and her partner decide whether she is up to going or not. It may be good for her or she may need to stay home to help with family matters.

 

Thanks, great advice.

[squadron]

That is my main worry - she has an elderly mother in her 80's although there is also a brother to keep an eye on her. If it was a long cruise, that could be difficult, but it is a mini cruise so we are only away for 4 nights.

As you said it is only four days. I think a complete change will give her a chance to recharge (which she will need) to cope with all the decisions and emotions that will have to be dealt with. Hope she decides to go.

[kathyemma]

I had a trip planned to the beach with my Mom. My Dad ended up passing away right before. We still went. We packed up the car the day after the burial and we were on our way. It was a VERY much needed distraction for my Mom. The last thing she needed to do was sit in the house and go thru his things. Don't cancel.

 

Kathy

[micmacmissy]

Your friends asked you to cancel. So cancel.

 

It is not up to you to decide whether or not cruising would be good for them.

 

Do what you've been asked. Do not go back to your friend during this time and explain anything about the cruise; she has other things on her mind that far surpass this. She has the rest of her life to go on another cruise. Trust me when I say she is probably disappointed enough already; she doesn't also need to feel like she needs to explain her decision to you, or put on a brave front and go if she doesn't want to.

 

Please, cancel it as you've been asked to do.

[BecciBoo]

I agree with the others...do wait until after the funeral.

Clearer heads then. I'm sure they are in a fog right now.

So sorry, my condolences.

[tserface]

I agree with the others. We've been on a cruise before when we've heard really sad news and twice wondered if we should go home. In both cases we realized it would make little difference and being on the vacation actually helped us take some time to talk through issues and be better equipped to face our woes when we returned.

 

That's not the same as it happening before leaving, but there is a little time before your cruise and little to loose by not canceling right now. She may thank you for being such a good friend and giving her a way of finding joy during a time of so much sorrow.

 

Tom

 

Sorry to be depressing but I have just heard that one of the friends who is supposed to be on a mini cruise with us on 29th October lost her sister (only 49) to cancer this morning. Her partner has asked me to cancel the cruise for them. I was thinking of delaying the cancellation for a few days, until after the funeral, as it might be good for them to get away for a break - there are 10 of us, all friends, booked. The funeral will be this Friday, so the cruise is a good 10 days afterwards. What do you all think? She has never cruised before and it may be just the distraction she needs at this time. Not sure what to do. I booked everything for all of us.

[cruiser-007]

I see your dillemma, I'd would further discuss the matter with your friends partner who asked you to cancel it. Maybe they could be convinced the cruise would be theraputic. Wouldn't want to step on anyone's toes.

 

Good luck

[xxoocruiser]

Sorry to be depressing but I have just heard that one of the friends who is supposed to be on a mini cruise with us on 29th October lost her sister (only 49) to cancer this morning. Her partner has asked me to cancel the cruise for them. I was thinking of delaying the cancellation for a few days, until after the funeral, as it might be good for them to get away for a break - there are 10 of us, all friends, booked. The funeral will be this Friday, so the cruise is a good 10 days afterwards. What do you all think? She has never cruised before and it may be just the distraction she needs at this time. Not sure what to do. I booked everything for all of us.

 

Not canceling as your friend requested was not your decision to make. Though I understand your intentions you need to respect your friend's request and cancel.

[micmacmissy]

I'd would further discuss the matter with your friends partner who asked you to cancel it. Maybe they could be convinced the cruise would be theraputic.

 

Further discuss the matter with a grieving person? Convince them it would be therapeutic?

 

The only thing that will do is add stress and pressure to someone who is already grieving. Not thoughtful, helpful, or called for.

 

They asked her to cancel it. Don't see why there is a debate!

[createcolorfun]

So sorry to hear. My brother had passed away and always wanted to be cremated and spread his ashes at sea. We ended up not cremating, but the funeral home director cut pieces of his hair and while we were on our cruise, we threw his hair in the ocean. Maybe she won't feel so bad know her sister is with her!

[royalcruz]

I agree with those who are saying that it is not your decision to make. Respect your friend and her partner's wishes even if you think that they are wrong.

[reilly1]

Glad I took the advice of the majority. Her partner has just sent me a text asking me to hold fire on the cancellation, if it is not too late, as the rest of her family have told her that they think she should continue with her cruise plans. Of course, I have not mentioned the cruise to her at all. I have only spoken to her partner about it. They are going to make a final decision next week sometime, so at least their options are still open, no matter what decision they make.

[janed1031]

I faced the same decision when my husband passed away unexpectedly 3 weeks before our scheduled spring break cruise. I waited about a week, talked to my teenager kids and we all still wanted to go. We ended up having my mom come along since it was already paid for. Biggest problem was with the airline-but I finally got them to change the ticket. Ten years ago and I am still glad we made that decision.

 

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Forums mobile app

[jb008]

If you were a travel agent, I'd be angry at you for not following through on my request to cancel. Since you're a friend, it's not your job to be a travel agent and it can't be helped if you didn't get a chance to take care of it until this weekend, or even early next week, since your job is not to be her TA... if you get my drift... ;)

 

They lose nothing by you being too busy to deal with this for a few days still, and any travel insurance claim will require the cancellation invoice showing any refund (usually you will get some small amounts back, such as port fees and visitor taxes) so that the insurance can adjust the payment to reflect actual loss.

[lexingtonave]

Just before my first cruise my dad passed away very suddenly. Initially I thought I would cancel, but my husband said to wait. I did and ended up going on the cruise. For me, it was the right decision. Although I wasn't out partying every night, I spent time sitting on the beach thinking about him. I'm glad I went.

[denamo]

Glad I took the advice of the majority. Her partner has just sent me a text asking me to hold fire on the cancellation, if it is not too late, as the rest of her family have told her that they think she should continue with her cruise plans. Of course, I have not mentioned the cruise to her at all. I have only spoken to her partner about it. They are going to make a final decision next week sometime, so at least their options are still open, no matter what decision they make.

 

Sounds like you know your friends and your "6th sense" to hold off with cancellation was correct. Been a bit surprised at some of the responses. Guess that just goes with being on CC. ;) Sounds better to have erred on the side of caution. Condolences to your friend for her loss. Whatever transpires, wishing all a wonderful time.

[reilly1]

Sounds like you know your friends and your "6th sense" to hold off with cancellation was correct. Been a bit surprised at some of the responses. Guess that just goes with being on CC. ;) Sounds better to have erred on the side of caution. Condolences to your friend for her loss. Whatever transpires, wishing all a wonderful time.

 

Thanks. I'm always surprised by some of the responses here! Usually the majority are right as in this case.

[novicetraveller]

Whilst it worked out in the end, I would have cancelled if asked to. It could have ended up a lot differently.