Carnival Freedom Funship 2.0 upgrades - my thoughts

[shukapaw]

Sunday morning, 7:15, Lido Deck. I am sitting alone enjoying a final meal on the Carnival Freedom. This is the end of our 8 day journey to the Eastern Caribbean. My wife wanted some extra sleep and told me to grab a bite before we disembark. The final day of vacation is never fun but as I look out the window to the other ships sitting alongside us in Ft Lauderdale, I wonder when I’ll be back on a Carnival ship….. or if I’ll be on another Carnival ship.

 

Let me explain……..

 

First, a bit about us. I am 56 and my wife is 38. We work hard and we play hard. I don’t know what the median Carnival traveler’s age is but I’m guessing I’m slightly above it. Don’t let my age fool you, I can literally run circles around many people half my age. My motto is “just try and keep up”. We live in Alaska and any trip to Florida is quite an undertaking. We figure as long as we are going to use up an entire day getting there and another entire day getting home, we might as well maximize our stay. As such, this 8 day Freedom sailing took place immediately on the heels of a 7 day Western Caribbean sailing on the Caribbean Princess. This write-up will in no way be a comparison of the two sailings. I’ll handle that later in a different post. I have 6 Carnival sailings to my credit and my wife has 5. I took my first trip long before I met her and I introduced her to Carnival cruising. We spent 14 days on a back-to-back trip on the Freedom just two years ago so we know her well.

 

The Freedom underwent a dry dock to get Funship 2.0 improvements shortly before our most recent trip. This is my impression of the “improvements” I encountered. I was always taught that a disparaging remark should be sandwiched between two positive remarks in something referred to as a “praise sandwich”. With that in mind, let me start on a few positive notes…

 

Guy’s Burgers

 

Wow, thought I’d died and gone to heaven. These were absolutely fantastic. Not only was the burger tender and juicy, the fries were mighty fine as well. And after you get your burger you head to the condiments bar where there are loads of sautéed onions, mushrooms and bowls heaped with bacon (no “bacon police” in sight). This is an outstanding addition to the ship.

 

Blue Iguana Café

 

Once more, Carnival hit one out of the park with this addition. The burritos were very tasty and available as different varieties during breakfast and lunch time. The tacos (soft shell) were also delicious and the tortilla was cooked right in front of you. A small bit of dough was placed in a machine where it was flatted and cooked while you began drooling down your chin. The toppings were fresh, hot and generous. The condiments bar here contained a variety of salsas, sauces, grated cheese and watermelon wedges. Muy Bueno, Carnival!

 

Playlist Productions

 

Okay, here comes the main “meat” of the praise sandwich. This is the part that, in my opinion, really offset most of the good additions made to the ship. One of the main reasons we like cruising is for the entertainment. We like going to the main showroom and enjoying a professionally-produced extravaganza. Bring on the costumes, dancers and orchestra!

 

I cannot believe that the powers-that-be at Carnival actually put this drivel onboard. I imagine the scenario leading up to this went something like this:

 

Scene

:

Somewhere in a boardroom of Carnival Cruise Lines. A number of high-powered people are sitting around a large table. A man rises from his chair and speaks….

 

President of Playlist Productions

:

Ladies and Gentlemen of Carnival, we have retained the services of a well-known spokesperson to introduce the proposed changes to your main showroom entertainment. We think that you will find her reasoning unimpeachable and well thought-out. Without further adieu, let me introduce Nancy Pelosi

 

Carnival spokesperson

:

This had better be very convincing. We don’t want to mess with a formula which has served us well for a quarter century without knowing exactly what will take its place…. and will make our customers smile. I’m sure you’ve brought a lot of samples of the music, videos, customer satisfaction data and such to make your case, right?

 

Nancy Pelosi

:

You have to implement Playlist Productions to see what is

in

Playlist Productions.

 

Carnival spokesman

:

Okay, we’ll take it!

 

Actually, I think less thought went into it than that. These “productions” stunk up the showroom. They were really quite awful.

 

The first show we were “treated to” was Heart of Soul. Who doesn’t like a good soul ballad or Motown hit, right? Instead of various backdrops for scenes, the Playlist Productions incorporate giant LED screens behind the “entertainers”. I suppose this concept is doable if the electronic backdrops are well thought-out, tasteful and complement the show. However, none of these criteria were met. The stuff going on on the screens was distracting and detracted from the show rather than adding to it. It was as if somebody ran amuck with trying to “dazzle” you with “special effects”. Case in point: during a performance of Otis Redding’s Dock of the Bay (not Dock at the Bay like the performer chose to sing it), there was a scene of a body of water behind the singer. During his performance, you got to see the dock build itself one plank at a time. Seriously! First a plank pops up from the left of the dock and flies into place. Next, a plank pops up from the right of the dock and flies into place. Repeat this sequence another 50 or so times until mercifully, the song ends. It was as if somebody had found a new video production toy and couldn’t wait to cram every possible effect down your throat until you cried “Uncle”. There were “effects” for the sake of effects. They were more of a distraction than anything. Of course, because of the quality of the singing and dancing, this diversion may have actually been a godsend. The main blonde female singer was good and the main male (dark-haired) singer was good on those few songs that fit his range and vocal style. The remainder, not so much.

 

And as for the dance numbers…. puh-leeze. I felt as though I’d stumbled into a jazzercise class. Apparently the choreographer felt that constant motion would make up for lack of quality. These poor performers were literally slinging sweat throughout their non-stop routines. There was a particularly disturbing romantic song where the main male and female lead were standing facing each other singing some sort of love tune. Because they had been engaged in rapid-fire, stroke-inducing aerobics for the previous 15 minutes, the entire romantic duet was accompanied by sweat dripping off the end of each of their noses and chins. Nothing says “romance” like standing in a giant puddle of your co-mingled sweat!

 

Another of these shows was entitled “Getaway Island”. (Think Gidget meets Glligan’s Island ) During entry to the showroom, a pair of 3D glasses was given to each audience member. Hmmm, this could be interesting! At the beginning of the show we were instructed that there would be two 60 second segments where we would be instructed to put on the 3D glasses.

 

The show turned out to be another poorly-produced song/dancercize show featuring surf music, caribbean tunes, etc. The LED screens were not as badly overused during this production and were almost complementary to the show. The various singers went from one island/beach tune to the next and the flow was almost professional until somehow, we found ourselves listening to “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”. No, seriously. Good lord, has anybody ever heard of continuity around here?

 

As announced at the beginning, we were told when to put on the 3D glasses and were “treated” to some fair 3D effects between sweatfests. I like to think of these two 3D breaks as a sorbet to cleanse your palate and get the taste of dog crap out of your mouth so you could fully enjoy the next bite of it.

 

Oh, and the estate of Harry Belafonte may want to sue this “production” for the egregious treatment of “Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)”. I’ve never heard this song butchered so badly. Hey Mr Tally Man, was this particular arrangement created by the New York School for the Deaf? Playtime come and me want go home! If I’d have had access to a rusty icepick during this rendition of this classic song, I’d have gladly punctured my own eardrums to get some relief.

 

There was one member of the cast who was especially annoying. We referred to him as “Mr I-have-a-soul-patch-and-think-I'm-bitchin'-but-have-somehow-murdered-every-musical-number-I've-sung-and-I-must-be-related-to-somebody-in-casting”. He pretty consistently was a major distraction in the shows.

 

Honestly, I kinda felt sorry for the 8 performers in these trainwrecks. I know they were just doing what they were told but, no matter how much you polish a turd, it’s still a turd.

 

There was another show in the main showroom entitled 88 Keys. I could continue my rant but I think you get the idea. The highlight of this show was the intro where the actual piano player from one of the lounges onboard played actual “Live” music and sang. Once he departed the stage and took the only thing resembling live music with him, we were treated to more of the same High-school-drama-club-quality of a show which we’d become accustomed to.

 

If the guy who made the decision to implement these “shows” can be identified, he should be kicked squarely, forcefully and repeatedly in the onions.

 

There may be some of you reading this who never attend the shows in the main showroom (count your blessings). However, since the live entertainment was one of the big draws for us, this is a real game-changer. Hopefully somebody will take note and make some corrections or reversals or something to make this “entertainment” entertaining. This could just be a clever marketing ploy to keep people out of the showrooms and drive them towards the shops, casino, bars, etc…. who knows?

 

Ok, the Praise Sandwich needs a final slice of bread so here goes………

 

Alchemy Bar

 

I enjoy a nice drink but don’t usually wander far from my comfort zone. I enjoy a nice Margarita as my drink of choice. I’d read a number of things about this bar and thought I’d give it a try. When we first got there, the place was virtually empty. The bartender, wearing something resembling a pharmacist or chemist’s smock, greeted us warmly. He handed us some menus which, when opened, featured backlit pages with a number of the bar’s specialty drinks listed and explained. The tone of the menus was comical and followed the general “pharmacy” theme with various potions, remedies, cures, etc. Very clever presentation. We chatted a while with the bartender and he asked what I liked, disliked, etc in a drink. He was more than willing to get creative and make a one-off cocktail for me if I didn’t find something to my liking on the menu. However, after talking with me a bit, he recommended a martini which was created with was described as a”…. feisty dose of Milagro Silver Tequila, Patrón Citrónge, spicy mango purée and fresh citrus.” It was called Fiery Tropical Passion Martini. I took the plunge. It was absolutely delicious…. and after a few seconds, the “heat” begin to appear in my mouth. It sounds strange but it somehow enhanced the drink. Sweet, savory and cold to start with a bit of a devilish “gotcha” at the end. My wife opted for a drink named The Remedy. It was made with Goslings Black Seal Rum, Malibu Coconut Rum, orange juice, pineapple and fresh lime juice. YUM! Another night, feeling adventurous, I tried something called the Cucumber Sunrise. It contained Absolut Vodka, watermelon nectar, muddled cucumber, fresh squeezed lime juice and a splash of orange juice. (not just any bar would go to the trouble of muddling a cucumber for you, right?) It was good but not as good as my first drink. I never knew you could make a cocktail taste like fresh cucumber. This deserves to be one of your stops on the Freedom.

 

We're back home now..... there are no 24-hour pizza, room service or Guy's burgers to be had (trust me, I've looked).

 

We decided a couple years ago that we were going to sail the Mediterranean in 2015. After this latest letdown, I'm not sure we'd have considered 12 days on a Carnival ship with 2.0 "upgrades". However, they made the decision not to service the Mediterranean next year so it made our decision easier. It will be the first time in 4 years that we won't be sailing on a Carnival ship. But who knows, maybe the foul taste of Playlist Productions will have left my mouth and Carnival will be a serious contender again in 2016.

 

Brian

[KirkNC]

Thanks for the report!

[SMSACE6]

Thanks for your review. I have been wondering about those playlist productions. They do sound very distracting, and I dont think I will like that, but I will check one out anyway just to see for myself.

 

I am not really all that excited about any of the 2.0 upgrades, but I have already been on the Freedom before, so I know I will like the ship anyway, but playlist does not sound like my cup of tea at all.

 

Thanks for the review.

[WindsorFred]

Thanks for the review. Have heard mixed reports on the Playlist Productions, some seem to love them some don't. We will see when we return to the Freedom in February.

[forwardcabin]

Thanks for your review. We have yet to read any good reviews of the Playlist Productions on any Carnival ship. We have been considering the 6-day cruise on Carnival Freedom when it comes to Galveston in February. Who knows, maybe by then Carnival will replace the Playlist Productions with a Texas-sized, patriotic, country ho-down like they once had on Carnival Ecstasy when it sailed out of Galveston...now there was a show worth seeing! Perhaps the new food and drink venues will make up for the lack in entertainment. Maybe that will keep many cruisers on Lido for such greats as the Miss Carnival Freedom contest, the Men's Hairy Chest contest, and the agonizing ice carving while a loud DJ pumps up the volume. Think we will take our burger plate and margaritas to the Karaoke lounge and just chill. Bon Voyage!

[Ltcsquad]

Sounds like a honest review so how was the main dinning room food?

[NCteacherlovescruising]

I'm sorry you didn't enjoy your cruise. We are sailing on the Freedom next week. Fortunately for us, we don't usually attend the shows. We like to go to the comedy club or listen to live music after dinner. We dine late and sometimes I'm so tired I just call it a night. I like to be up bright and early to get in a quick workout and then head to port or the pool deck to catch some sun.

 

I have to add, I'm certainly looking forward to eating Guy's Burgers again!!!

[funcruiser1234]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I agree that the Guy's Burgers are great!

[Doug910]

...Brian, great review! Though I haven't sailed on the Freedom since the 2.0 upgrades, I have been on other ships that that have. I agree with every point you've made. Guy's Burgers, Blue Iguana Café and the Alchemy Bar are almost worth the price of admission alone. Also loved the Nancy Pelosi reference, but not sure everyone got it.

 

...Regarding the Play"poor" Productions, as my wife and I refer to it, your observations are dead on. Did somebody at the main office think this was a good idea? We also enjoy a good production show and actually look forward to it after dinner, but these shows are horrendous. The piped in music is horrible compared to a live band. I actually feel bad for the dancers as their stage area is cut in half and the use of props are very minimal. But as you say, the video screens behind the dancers actually take away from the show instead of enhancing it. We were originally told that this concept was a test and they were going to wait and see about customer satisfaction. IMHO, major fail.

Edited June 28, 2014 by Doug910
spelling

[dcikon2]

Was the 80s show not on the Freedom? We felt this was the best production we have seen on a ship in a long time. I was told by one of the technicians that the show wasn't going to be on the ship for long. We were on the Freedom from June 1-9.

[evandbob]

Thanks for your review, appreciate your comments. Try Princess for a Med cruise, that line has some elegance to it.

[jetta8300]

thanks for a very detailed and entertaining review. It sounds like you enjoyed most aspects of the cruise except for the entertainment, but apparently that's a dealbreaker for you??? We cruised on the Freedom a few years ago, and had a great time. But the entertainment isn't the reason why we cruise either. We actually enjoyed to movies under the stars on the big screen more than anything.

 

RCI's Allure of the Seas had some great entertainment. However, for us, many other aspects of the cruise made us like Carnival a little better (although they were both wonderful). MDR Food, room size, serenity area, alcoholic drinks, etc. were all aspects we enjoyed more with Carnival. However entertainment was a huge plus for RCI. Variety is the spice of life :) Im sure we will continue to cruise with both in the future.

 

 

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[momof3cruisers]

Great review. Love your sense of humor. So sorry you didn't enjoy the shows when that is an important thing for you. We are going on the Freedom in Dec. we're not usually much into the big shows as we enjoy a comedian or the small musical groups better. From what I've heard, I think we'll stick with this plan.

 

Did you eat in the main dining room?

[momof3cruisers]

 

RCI's Allure of the Seas had some great entertainment. However, for us, many other aspects of the cruise made us like Carnival a little better (although they were both wonderful). MDR Food, room size, serenity area, alcoholic drinks, etc. were all aspects we enjoyed more with Carnival. However entertainment was a huge plus for RCI. Variety is the spice of life :) Im sure we will continue to cruise with both in the future.

 

 

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that was our exact opinion on the Allure too. I kept thinking that the people who complain about Carnival food would have starved in the main dining room on Royal. Bland and boring.We did have a very big room though as we were in a family suite. However, our room steward rarely felt the need to make up our kids' beds.

[shukapaw]

Sounds like a honest review so how was the main dinning room food?

 

The food was very good. We experienced the same menu items we encountered 2 years ago on the Freedom and last year on the Valor. We dine every night in the Main Dining Room and enjoy meeting new friends there. Oddly enough, we didn't hit the buffet much. The new options seemed to keep us more than satisfied.

 

The Pizza place has been relocated on the ship. It used to be near the aft on the Lido deck but has been moved forward somewhat. Its old location was better (IMHO) and the old location is just sitting there vacant. The pizza was fantastic!!

 

Brian

[JennN]

It's so fun for me to read these reviews because it goes to show what's one man's cup of tea is another's coffee...or something.

 

In my 6 Carnival sailings, I've yet to attend a show, save the Hasbro game one and the Marriage Show. Just not interested - if we were, we'd hit up NYC and Broadway.

 

For all the other reasons - the food, staff, and of course, relaxation, we go back to Carnival.

 

Thanks for sharing the review!

[Dayenu]

Great review, thanks! Now we know what to expect, it will be (hopefully) our first Carnival cruise next year.

[SMSACE6]

The food was very good. We experienced the same menu items we encountered 2 years ago on the Freedom and last year on the Valor. We dine every night in the Main Dining Room and enjoy meeting new friends there. Oddly enough, we didn't hit the buffet much. The new options seemed to keep us more than satisfied.

 

The Pizza place has been relocated on the ship. It used to be near the aft on the Lido deck but has been moved forward somewhat. Its old location was better (IMHO) and the old location is just sitting there vacant. The pizza was fantastic!!

 

Brian

 

Too bad that the old pizza station is just sitting there vacant. I hear they took away the Tandoor grille to make room for something else, so they could have just moved it here. Tandoor was my favorite place for lunch:( But I will survive, and I do believe that I will like Blue Iguana. I haven't tried the new pizza yet either.

[092306]

Enjoyed your review! We sailed on the Freedom prior to 2.0 and really enjoyed it. From everything I've heard about the Playlist productions, I'm not eager to sail a ship that offers that kind of entertainment, but will likely end up trying it at some point. Your take on it made me laugh out loud this morning!

[nybumpkin]

Thank you for your review - I really enjoyed reading. I haven't read much of anything good about Playlist Productions; however, I'm trying (really:p) to keep an open mind. We're about to do a not-quite-back-to-back cruise vacation - coming up to your neck of the woods to do the Alaska cruise on Miracle, which still has the old shows (love "Ticket to Ride") and a full orchestra. A few weeks later, we're sailing out of Miami on Glory, with not only Playlist Productions but also the new menu (I'm trying to keep an open mind about that, too.:p)

[tattoos]

Thanks for your review, I laughed so hard I cried.

 

I totally agree with your assessment of the Playlist Production shows, they are on a par with high school (and elementary school) productions. Compared to the shows that we loved and still being presented on some Carnival ships, the Playlist Productions are downright insulting. We attended one of the Playlist Productions on a recent Breeze sailing and people were walking out.

[ConshyCrock]

Your review was definitely worth the read; informative and funny!

 

We're sailing on the Pride in September just before it goes to dry dock to receive the 2.0 upgrades and I am really relieved we get one more cruise the way we're used to. When I first heard about these changes awhile back I was really against them, partially because I don't like change, but reading various threads has sort of softened my stance a little. I have to say though that I'm not looking forward to seeing Guy's Burgers because I really cannot stand Guy Fieri. Seeing his name on the ship and all over CC just rubs me the wrong way, but I guess I have to get over it.

 

 

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[shukapaw]

Thanks for your review, I laughed so hard I cried.

 

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it!

 

I totally agree with your assessment of the Playlist Production shows, they are on a par with high school (and elementary school) productions. Compared to the shows that we loved and still being presented on some Carnival ships, the Playlist Productions are downright insulting. We attended one of the Playlist Productions on a recent Breeze sailing and people were walking out.

 

Here's a couple interesting Tidbits I forgot to mention in my original post.

 

1) After the very first exposure to one of the shows, we hunted down a high-ranking Carnival employee to discuss this new format with him. He was a bit cautious about what he'd say but did confirm that the Carnival ship which consistently gets the highest customer satisfaction ratings is one which got the bulk of the 2.0 upgrades but still shows the original "good" shows including the live orchestra (I won't swear but I think he said it was the Liberty)

 

2) Although it meets the definition of insanity (doing the same thing over and over hoping for different results), we returned to the Playlist Production shows each time in hopes of seeing something acceptable. However, they were pretty consistently awful. By the night of the last show, I'd guess that no more than 20% of the seats were occupied in the theater.

 

Brian

[kakennedy@me]

Thanks Brian for the review! I was on ship with 2.0 update as well.

 

Loved the Blue Iguana, Guys was a total disappointment.

 

Alchemy bar on the ship ( Liberty) was the biggest disappointment I have ever experienced! The staff (female) was so full of themselves and snobby if weren't a male passenger. I get along well with everyone male, female, children and pets and have never, ever, been treated so poorly.

 

Not a huge show goer; so can't comment on that.

 

 

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[NCTribeFan]

I'm sailing on Freedom next Saturday. Just off the Splendor repo two weeks ago today.

 

I honestly don't get what the big deal is with the hatred of the Playlist shows. I don't expect Broadway and think the "high school" comments are just a tad harsh. I quit going to the shows about 10 years ago (after only a couple of cruises) because I thought the singing was so bad. I've actually started going to shows again. I very much enjoyed both The Brits and whatever the Motown show was a couple of years ago. I could not care less about a live band and think the use of the "special effects" is pretty clever.

 

I don't know if I'll go to any shows next week. I'm solo and part of the Premier Casino cruise, so I may be spending most of my evenings in the casino (never done one so don't know what sort of activities to expect).

 

I still primarily cruise for the ports (and will get three new ones next week; had 3 new ones on Splendor). Any comments about your ports?

 

I'm looking forward to Guy's Burgers again (have only had them on Conquest last year). And I love the Fish & Chips.

 

I don't typically drink hard liquor but when I do, it's usually a margarita. I may have to try that concoction at the Alchemy Bar. Sounds intriguing!

 

I suspect I'm going to like Freedom more than Splendor (which was good, but only good; not great).