What topics are off-limits?

[Lottie Linda]

CowPrincess, Great topic and lots of good responses. I would also like to know how CCers handle a situation when a stranger-fellow traveler broaches one of the topics they feel are off-limits? In other words, how do you (tactfully) extricate yourself from discussions that take a turn into areas/subjects that you would rather not discuss?

 

Rod

 

No speak-a da English.

[AmazedByCruising]

It seems almost any subject is taboo. If I look at my land-based conversations at dinner and would take out politics, religion, family and all other things mentioned in this thread the conversation could be summed up with "could you pass me the salt please".

 

On my last cruise we did have conversations about politics and I'm quite sure all parties liked to exchange views and it was very interesting. It may have helped that I didn't have much of a standpoint regarding US politics and vice versa, so it was more explaining from both sides than arguing what to think of it, but there were things we happily disagreed about.

[albingirl]

I agree. The same rules apply not to just our table mates but the conversations on our Cruise Critic boards IMO.

 

And I agree with you. Your ongoing review of your cruise is wonderful; wish everyone was so positive about their travels. We recently had a beautiful cruise and found nothing to complain about, at all.:)

[Ky Colonel]

No speak-a da English.

 

Good one, LL!!!

 

Rod

[zerbot]

I think whether it is politics, religion, or veganism, the problem is not so much the topics as the very real issue of people who can't stand that someone else has different views on those subjects. It can be very unpleasant to end up at a dinner table with someone like that.

[sail7seas]

:D Wow, just reading this thread and seeing some views, I'm surely going to stick with weather and travel conversation. I'm offended reading some of these posts. :(

And that doesn't happen to me hardly ever. I get a sense of baiting people into a conversation they do not wish to have and that is here on a computer screen. I'd hate to be at a dining table ......

Edited May 14, 2015 by sail7seas

[Ky Colonel]

I agree. The same rules apply not to just our table mates but the conversations on our Cruise Critic boards IMO.

 

 

Jacqui,

 

As usual I agree with you, especially on the CC boards aspect. Unfortunately, the very nature of "social media" lends itself to lots of misunderstandings and hurt feelings. IMO ofttimes people get the "wrong message" from a CC post because "social media" cannot accurately convey tone of voice (and, hence, emotion) as effectively as face-to-face conversation (or even a good old-fashioned telephone conversation) does.

 

Smooth sailing,

 

Rod

[kazu]

I think whether it is politics, religion, or veganism, the problem is not so much the topics as the very real issue of people who can't stand that someone else has different views on those subjects. It can be very unpleasant to end up at a dinner table with someone like that.

 

You make a very good point. There are people that "have to be right" and "their viewpoint is the only one that counts". They are bound and determined to convert anyone and everyone to their point of view.

 

Those are good people to avoid and if that's not possible to ignore or tune out.

 

Jacqui,

 

As usual I agree with you, especially on the CC boards aspect. Unfortunately, the very nature of "social media" lends itself to lots of misunderstandings and hurt feelings. IMO ofttimes people get the "wrong message" from a CC post because "social media" cannot accurately convey tone of voice (and, hence, emotion) as effectively as face-to-face conversation (or even a good old-fashioned telephone conversation) does.

 

Smooth sailing,

 

Rod

 

 

 

 

Absolutely. The typed word does not always convey what a person is trying to say.

 

ie., for years LOL meant Lots of Love to me from time long gone by. One time I typed that thinking in those terms and was of course lambasted for saying Laughing out Loud, which was not my intention at all.

Edited May 14, 2015 by kazu

[Mar56]

CowPrincess, Great topic and lots of good responses. I would also like to know how CCers handle a situation when a stranger-fellow traveler broaches one of the topics they feel are off-limits? In other words, how do you (tactfully) extricate yourself from discussions that take a turn into areas/subjects that you would rather not discuss?

 

Rod

 

I usually say, if it is politics, gun control etc. that I am Canadian and know nothing about the US system. That usually works even though it is untrue. One time, on our first cruise my husband got into a political discussion that was getting heated. I kicked him under the table and the conversation stopped. Found out later it wasnt him I kicked. Regardless, it worked lol

[cp556]

It seems almost any subject is taboo. If I look at my land-based conversations at dinner and would take out politics, religion, family and all other things mentioned in this thread the conversation could be summed up with "could you pass me the salt please".

 

But with my luck, I'd get someone at the table who'd start in on added salt being dangerous to one's health ..... :)

[jhannah]

To quote Jane Austen: "If you cannot think of anything nice to say, you will please restrict your remarks to the weather."

Nowadays, though, lots of folks live in areas where they can't say anything nice about their weather! :)

[ZandZ]

some subjects i found to be taboo at the dinner table:

 

1. Suicide- port or starboard?

2. Shaklee products

3. Hitler

4. Pustules

5. Wife swapping

6. Wanna wrestle?

7. That looks gross, what is it?

8. Best county jail meals

9. Which ethnic group is the worst?

10. Curling is not a sport!

 

I find too many people to be too thin skinned, i prefer to dine with my partner. If i want social conversation i'll find it at any of several bars on board.

yes!!!!!!!

[I_r_a]

Hi CP,

 

Don't mention the war.

 

Enjoy your trip.

 

Ira

[dheianevans]

I think whether it is politics, religion, or veganism, the problem is not so much the topics as the very real issue of people who can't stand that someone else has different views on those subjects. It can be very unpleasant to end up at a dinner table with someone like that.

 

Sums it up beautifully. So many people have become polarized and entrenched. In North America, if you look at the great legislation of the past from both sides of the border you see that it was written by politicians that were able to say "I don't agree with everything you say but let's work to find a middle ground." Now we just get deadlocked.

 

I'd love to be able to have a conversation with a fellow cruiser from another country and learn something new about the way things are done in health care, finance, transit and infrastructure. Maybe some of it would be able to be suggested in our own countries, But people here are right, too many enter the discussions dug into their trenches. It's supposed to be a conversation and not a war.

 

Off topic, but at least once a cruise I hear someone say, "If I can't pronounce it, I ain't eating it." It's just food! Live a little!

[summer slope]

And, that is why DH and I dine at a table for 2.

[serendipity1499]

I usually say, if it is politics, gun control etc. that I am Canadian and know nothing about the US system. That usually works even though it is untrue. One time, on our first cruise my husband got into a political discussion that was getting heated. I kicked him under the table and the conversation stopped. Found out later it wasnt him I kicked. Regardless, it worked lol

I bolded the part where you kicked the wrong Husband.. Oh My! :D:D:D Really Laughed out Loud at that one.. I've occasionally had to kick my Husband under the table too.. :);)

Edited May 14, 2015 by serendipity1499

[qsuzi]

What a great thread. Generally we tend to stay away from the subjects that can be heated or controversial (many which have been named here). I wish I had been as careful on this board and I sincerely would like to use my experience and somewhat better understanding of CC to improve my comments and reactions.

[Ky Colonel]

:D ... I'm offended reading some of these posts. :(

And that doesn't happen to me hardly ever. I get a sense of baiting people into a conversation they do not wish to have and that is here on a computer screen. I'd hate to be at a dining table ......

 

Sail,

 

I hope it was not my comments that offended you, because I can assure you that I did not post them to "bait... people into a conversation they do not wish to have". Or am I reading too much into your post?

 

By the way (he says impishly), your comment "doesn't happen to me hardly ever" uses a double negative and thus (in a grammatical sense) says the exact opposite of what you intended. Just another example of the many short-comings of "social media" communications.

 

Smooth sailing,

 

Rod

[Sirdar]

When cruising outside of the US I make it a point never to discuss US internal affairs. While I may have issues with this or that politician or party, I believe that all politics stops at the border and I've said as much at dinner with both US and foreign fellow cruisers. It's a good way to politely stifle that kind of talk

[sail7seas]

Sail,

 

I hope it was not my comments that offended you, because I can assure you that I did not post them to "bait... people into a conversation they do not wish to have". Or am I reading too much into your post?

 

By the way (he says impishly), your comment "doesn't happen to me hardly ever" uses a double negative and thus (in a grammatical sense) says the exact opposite of what you intended. Just another example of the many short-comings of "social media" communications.

 

Smooth sailing,

 

Rod

 

 

 

Sorry.

Please excuse my grammatical errors. I'll try harder to be more correct. :)

 

[Hlitner]

We would never discuss "what not to discuss." Having fixed and unyielding rules is a bit silly since they just do not work (in many cases) and one needs to tailor conversation to the tablemates. For example, somebody mentioned that its fine to discuss ports. Really? We have heard all kinds of heated arguments over ports and actually saw one lady brought to tears regarding the subject. For example, somebody might ask me which tours we are taking and our response would usually be "we do not take tours" which is true even when we take 2 months cruises to dozens of ports. Then there might be another who would quickly opine that they would never go anywhere (including their own driveway) without a tour guide. As to religion, although its usually a topic to be avoided there are some fun exceptions. We were on a long HAL cruise when we spent one long dinner at a large table with a Rabbi and a Catholic Priest. The entire conversation (for more then 2 fun hours) was about religion and everyone had a great time.

 

So perhaps the only rule should be to use your intelligence to feel out others to find topics of mutual interest.

 

Hank

[1160451]

From the UK, and cruise mostly on UK lines, and we have always find we grow into topics as the cruise develops.

We always choose tables for 8 and often cruise with another couple.

First few days it's pretty neutral, but by the end of the cruise it's often anything goes.

Now on our only foray onto an American line, HAL, we did find our table companions very cautious and rather reserved.

Reading the above posts maybe I see why now.

Reading the posts above the one thing that really surprised me was that many people were offended by been asked about their jobs. Usually we are discussing that by the third night, and we have had many interesting conversations about people's experiences. Ok blathering on about your job all dinner is not on but, but neither is grandchildren, number of cruises etc etc.

We had to smile as on our last cruise, one of our table companions said he was a Trade Union official. Some of his comments I thought a bit odd and on returning I googled the Union site and found that he was actually a Member of our House of Lords and was there because of his Trade Union Status. Talk about understated.

Anyway great post, found it very interesting.

Edited May 14, 2015 by 1160451

[sapper1]

We had a table for two on the 20 day Sailaway Gang canal cruise. This was the first time and we are converts. We did have a few meals in the Pinnacle with friends and enjoyed that immensely but we chose each other. There's the difference. We have great fun dining and interacting with friends but forced conversations with strangers are the pits.

 

It got to a point on previous cruises, where if I had to hear "Where are you folks from?" one more time I think I would have screamed. Dining alone in the MDR was wonderful.

 

We don't do breakfast in the dining room because I just want to sit and eat in the morning and not make new best friends that I will never see again. We like sitting with friends in the Lido if they come along. They already know where we are from and they don't expect me to be all chirpy and chatty before I have my coffee---nor do I expect it of them.

 

I realise this may sound grumpy but I like to choose my companions and not have them forced on me. Awkward conversations are not fun on a vacation.

Edited May 14, 2015 by sapper1

[Lizzie68]

You see how tricky it can be? Someone actually took offense at this thread/posts, in which there has been nothing offensive.

[sail7seas]

1160541

 

<snip>We had to smile as on our last cruise, one of our table companions said he was a Trade Union official. Some of his comments I thought a bit odd and on returning I googled the Union site and found that he was actually a Member of our House of Lords and was there because of his Trade Union Status. Talk about understated.

Anyway great post, found it very interesting.

 

 

 

Your post reminds me of when we sailed Celebrity a number of years ago.

We were traveling with another couple and the other gentleman was fluent speaking Greek. We were at a table for six with a couple randomly assigned. A table for six was beside us. We heard two of the gentlemen at that table speaking Greek. Our friend spoke to those other gentlemen to learn they were in the 'leisure travel business'. :) As the evening wore on and we started chatting between tables, we learned it was the Chandris Brothers who were the founders/majority owners of Celebrity Cruise Line, at the time. :) We spent a week beside them and found them delightful gents.

 

Edited May 14, 2015 by sail7seas