What topics are off-limits?

[Mary Ellen1]

When I'm on a cruise, I try to Keep it Fun. Which is a little different from Keepin' it Real. And in that vein, I've been know to make things up. Converse with me at your own risk. You've been warned. :eek:

 

• Did you join the fishing group on the Promenade deck yesterday? Catch anything? The chef did a really nice job with the sea-bass DH caught. Delicious! I think they're doing it again later in the week.
  
• We had a private tour of the bridge this morning.
  
• Oh, doesn't your Netflix work in your cabin? We've been watching some great movies.
  
• Did you see the brawl on the Lido Deck last night? The people are being held in the brig and will be put off the ship at our first port. Watch for it!
  

 

Truthfully though, I'm all about the Table-for-Two these days. Over it. :rolleyes:

[sapper1]

I never stated that I would ask someone their income while in a social setting. I would never. I would never ask that question in any setting. I think it's very tacky of you to accuse me of doing such a thing.

 

You are most likely correct.

[sapper1]

I realize the primary subject of this thread is conversation in the MDR. Others have mentioned the Lido, so I will chime in on these table mates of a different sort. We try to sit at a table for 2, but since those are limited, occasionally sit at a table for 4 when none for 2 are available. There have been times when the Lido is so crowded that others will ask if they can join us.

 

I don't want to seem uncaring, and generally don't mind sharing our table space, but there have been occasions where it has been intrusive. It's just been the 2 of us, having an important discussion, and then a total stranger interrupts us, joins us and either jumps in our conversation or shuts it down. And often the mood changes with some topic that the original occupants of the table did not ask for nor desire.

 

If we are wanting to share our table in the Lido, we will look for those searching for a table and make eye contact. We make it clear that our table is available for sharing. Those searching for a table should not interrupt people enjoying a private meal, appearing to be in deep conversation! For some passengers, cruising is a precious respite from a demanding job that requires being on call many hours in a day. Being able to dine with privacy in one's hometown can be rare, and a cruise is an opportunity to have a small break from the norm.

 

Coming back to the original topic of what's off limits, for this situation I find it best not to insert oneself into a conversation where one hasn't been invited.

Absolutely and totally correct. I am always willing to let strangers sit at our table but leave us alone please.

[sail7seas]

I met some friends for dinner last night at a restaurant my DH and I visited for years. We always tried to get there a few minutes before we planned to meet our friends so we could sit at their lovely bar and enjoy a drink together. I chose to do 'our' usual and went a bit early so I could have a glass of wine, think of my DH and the times we shared for many years in that restaurant. All seats but one were taken so no choice for me but to take that seat. There were two couple enjoying some story telling and laughs and thankfully I have full hearing so could not help but hear their jesting and fun. It did me good or I could have become very sad. I tried very hard to look forward and not at them and to contain my laugh but what am I to do if something strikes me very funny? I had a few LOL's despite my efforts but never injected a word in their conversation. Seems from some of these posts, I should not have taken that seat and certainly should have put ear plugs in my ears so as to not be 'present' among the others who were seated before I got there.

[cbr663]

<snip>

Truthfully though, I'm all about the Table-for-Two these days. Over it. :rolleyes:

 

Us too. We have both reached the age when we have zero patience listening to others telling us how great that they think they are. On CC, the Ignore feature helps with those who like to toot their own horns, on the ship, a 2-top. It's all good. :)

[Lottie Linda]

 

If we are wanting to share our table in the Lido, we will look for those searching for a table and make eye contact. We make it clear that our table is available for sharing. Those searching for a table should not interrupt people enjoying a private meal, appearing to be in deep conversation! For some passengers, cruising is a precious respite from a demanding job that requires being on call many hours in a day. Being able to dine with privacy in one's hometown can be rare, and a cruise is an opportunity to have a small break from the norm.

 

QUOTE]

 

What? The Lido is full. I have a plate of hot food. The sea is pitching. I'm hungry. No empty tables. And I have to wait for you to make it clear I can sit at 'your' table. Sorry, I'm sitting down. And if my, Good morning" disrupts your high level conversation- sorry, maybe you should take it some place more private.

Edited May 15, 2015 by Lottie Linda

[summer slope]

Wow!

[cruisin'girl]

I think most people realize that the Lido is a busy public casual dining area and at certain times it can get over-crowded. If you want private time with your spouse and no table for 2 is available I think most people understand empty seats at a larger table should be offered and shared. One can always get room service or take their Lido lunch back to their cabin if private conversation is a must. The Lido is not the place to expect that.

[sapper1]

I think most people realize that the Lido is a busy public casual dining area and at certain times it can get over-crowded. If you want private time with your spouse and no table for 2 is available I think most people understand empty seats at a larger table should be offered and shared. One can always get room service or take their Lido lunch back to their cabin if private conversation is a must. The Lido is not the place to expect that.

 

I don't expect privacy for a conversation but do expect to be able to speak with my husband without strangers who sat down with us jumping in and offering their two cents worth.

I also often use the time I am eating breakfast to check my email etc and don't appreciate being interrupted to tell the newcomer where I am from, what excursion I am taking, how many cruises I have been on ---and so on.

 

Why do people feel the need to do that anyway?

Edited May 15, 2015 by sapper1

[cruisemom42]

As to where are you from questions....... :D

 

I cannot tell you how many times I've started a conversation with people who turned out to be ignorant and IMO not very well traveled when we spoke for a full 15-20 minutes and they appeared to understand my words very clearly. Yet, when they got to the question of "where are you from" and I replied Boston I got the stupid 'do you paaaak your caaaa in Havaaaaa Yaaaad'. No wonder I can't understand you what with your awful accent. It's funny how more sophisticated, better mannered, more educated and in general more interesting people can always find something a little more pleasant to respond. I got so tired of it, I don't even excuse myself if standing at a cocktail party and merely walk away. Let them figure out what fools they are making of themselves.

 

Sorry if I have offended ;) (wink, wink) anyone who has uttered such to Bostonians they meet in their travels.

 

It is a good thing you are not from the South. I have certainly heard my fair share of comments about "Gone with the Wind" and "Can you do a Scarlett O'Hara impression?" from others.

 

I never take it personally. Some people are not as adept as others at coming up with some common ground or trying to make a connection by injecting some humor. I just smile and have even been known to oblige (even though I have no southern accent at all) with a Fiddle-dee-dee. Bless their hearts!

[sail7seas]

Well, bless their little hearts. :)

 

[cp556]

In the Lido, if it's full and we spot empty seats at an occupied table, we ALWAYS either make eye contact or ask "May we join you?" before sitting down. Besides it being basic manners, there's the chance that the occupants may be expecting friends.

 

Just my 2¢.

[Hlitner]

The Lido posts got me to recall an incident on the Prinsendam (our favorite HAL ship). One morning DW and I were enjoying a late breakfast (near closing) in the Lido and we had sat at a large table in a half empty dining room. While we were still eating breakfast a lady came up to our table and asked us if we would please move! Given that there were other empty tables all over the place (it was late) I responded that once we finished our breakfast we would be leaving. The lady then got angry and told us that we were at "her table" and she and her friends used that table every morning for their knitting! Just one of those cruise tales that makes one laugh at a later time. And no, we did not interrupt our breakfast for this lady but simply told her the table was hers when we were finished with breakfast.

 

Getting back to the topic of this thread, the more I think about the posts the more I come to the following conclusion. We have no interest in sharing a table with anyone who forms preconceived rules about what can and cannot be said at a table! One should always be polite and considerate of others and we agree this can limit conversation. But to have preconceived rules is akin to infringing on freedom of speech.

 

Hank

Edited May 15, 2015 by Hlitner

[albingirl]

Yeah, you just have to get around it somehow. Kind of like when you go up to the crow's nest for happy hour, and everyone is knitting and reading, and they give you a dirty look when you have a drink in hand and laugh out loud or something. Lido is like that sometimes. People can be rude. We try to get past that and look out at the view. Outstanding.

[cp556]

The Lido posts got me to recall an incident on the Prinsendam (our favorite HAL ship). One morning DW and I were enjoying a late breakfast (near closing) in the Lido and we had sat at a large table in a half empty dining room. While we were still eating breakfast a lady came up to our table and asked us if we would please move! Given that there were other empty tables all over the place (it was late) I responded that once we finished our breakfast we would be leaving. The lady then got angry and told us that we were at "her table" and she and her friends used that table every morning for their knitting! Just one of those cruise tales that makes one laugh at a later time. And no, we did not interrupt our breakfast for this lady but simply told her the table was hers when we were finished with breakfast.

 

Getting back to the topic of this thread, the more I think about the posts the more I come to the following conclusion. We have no interest in sharing a table with anyone who forms preconceived rules about what can and cannot be said at a table! One should always be polite and considerate of others and we agree this can limit conversation. But to have preconceived rules is akin to infringing on freedom of speech.

 

Hank

 

And that reminds me of one time in the Lido where we were indeed waiting for another couple to join us. We sat at a 4-top and a lady came over and just plonked herself down. We politely said that we were waiting for friends to join us.

 

Her reply? "I don't see anybody. And I'm here." And she proceeded to start eating.

 

Astonished, DH & I moved to another empty table, and our friends came along in a few minutes.

[Tights]

 

If we are wanting to share our table in the Lido, we will look for those searching for a table and make eye contact. We make it clear that our table is available for sharing. Those searching for a table should not interrupt people enjoying a private meal, appearing to be in deep conversation! For some passengers, cruising is a precious respite from a demanding job that requires being on call many hours in a day. Being able to dine with privacy in one's hometown can be rare, and a cruise is an opportunity to have a small break from the norm.

 

QUOTE]

 

What? The Lido is full. I have a plate of hot food. The sea is pitching. I'm hungry. No empty tables. And I have to wait for you to make it clear I can sit at 'your' table. Sorry, I'm sitting down. And if my, Good morning" disrupts your high level conversation- sorry, maybe you should take it some place more private.

 

I have not been on a cruise yet and you lot are turning me off before I go, I will tell you now,as the last poster said if I have a plateful of food and there is a empty seat I will take it and if you don't like it you can take your plate elsewhere and eat it standing up

Happy travels

[Lottie Linda]

 

I have not been on a cruise yet and you lot are turning me off before I go, I will tell you now,as the last poster said if I have a plateful of food and there is a empty seat I will take it and if you don't like it you can take your plate elsewhere and eat it standing up

Happy travels

 

Taking a cruise is a good vacation. The best parts are the ship, the crew, the food, and the destination. The fellow cruisers- meh. Go with someone you like. If you want to talk to someone, go to a lounge and have a drink and strike up a conversation. If you don't drink, there are often good people at the AA meetings.

 

And don't talk about Hitler.

[sevenseasnomad]

Interestingly, our experience was the opposite. We were traveling in England 10 days before the the 2008 election and the Brits who discussed the election were more informed about the issues than average Americans. It was absolutely fun to discuss the subject without it getting heated, even when ideas did not exactly line up.

 

Reading foreign newspapers, especially some of the British ones, usually provides a far less slanted view of American politics than American sources. More facts less bias, I've found.

 

As to what to discuss during dinner, it seems there are more taboo subjects than "safe" topics. Not everyone understands that there are certain subjects that should be avoided. We discovered years ago that someone invariably brought up a subject that made one, if not more, of our tablemates uncomfortable. After being in this situation too many times, we now ask for a table for 2 where DH & I can discuss anything we please without fear of offending. After 45 years of marriage, we still have lots to say to each other, or we can sit in companionable silence without appearing unsociable. It is far less stressful, especially for me.

 

We can meet people in other situations, "out & about," which is more enjoyable for us.

[sapper1]

 

I have not been on a cruise yet and you lot are turning me off before I go, I will tell you now,as the last poster said if I have a plateful of food and there is a empty seat I will take it and if you don't like it you can take your plate elsewhere and eat it standing up

Happy travels

 

I have no problem at all if someone wants to sit at an empty place at our Lido table. Most people however, just ask politely if they can sit without adding the ultimatum you are suggesting.

Nobody here has suggested that people are not welcome to sit. They just don't want to make a new best friend that they will never see again every time they sit in the Lido. This is your first cruise so I can't expect you to know what I mean but after a few hundred days of cruising the ritual gets tiresome and pointless.

[kazu]

 

I have no problem at all if someone wants to sit at an empty place at our Lido table. Most people however, just ask politely if they can sit without adding the ultimatum you are suggesting.

Nobody here has suggested that people are not welcome to sit. They just don't want to make a new best friend that they will never see again every time they sit in the Lido. This is your first cruise so I can't expect you to know what I mean but after a few hundred days of cruising the ritual gets tiresome and pointless.

 

I understand where sapper1 is coming from. We have met lots of great people on our roll calls, on the ship, etc. and made a lot of new friends.:)

 

Aside from fixed dining where you have the same tablemates every night (if that is what we opt to do), when it comes to meals, it's nice to either eat with friends you already know or alone in peace. After you go through the same questions for the umpteenth time some of us do not want to try to make a new BFF in one short meal. I'm a pretty friendly, outgoing person but sometimes I like to eat in peace :)

Edited May 16, 2015 by kazu

[sapper1]

I understand where sapper1 is coming from. We have met lots of great people on our roll calls, on the ship, etc. and made a lot of new friends.:)

 

Aside from fixed dining where you have the same tablemates every night (if that is what we opt to do), when it comes to meals, it's nice to either eat with friends you already know or alone in peace. After you go through the same questions for the umpteenth time some of us do not want to try to make a new BFF in one short meal. I'm a pretty friendly, outgoing person but sometimes I like to eat in peace :)

 

Thanks for understanding. I enjoy meeting people around the ship as well; just not in dining situations.

 

There seems to be something wrong with the quote function in the last few posts and the person shown as being quoted is not the person that was really quoted. Let's see how this one turns out.

[kazu]

Thanks for understanding. I enjoy meeting people around the ship as well; just not in dining situations.

 

There seems to be something wrong with the quote function in the last few posts and the person shown as being quoted is not the person that was really quoted. Let's see how this one turns out.

 

I saw that in my reply to you and edited the post. I think that fixed the quote functions :)

[sapper1]

That quote worked well. When I quoted Tights it was Lottie Linda who showed as being quoted and I saw one other post on the page that didn't work right either.

 

Just saw your edit, Kazu. Thanks. I thought it might have been my computer but I guess not if it happened to you too.

Edited May 16, 2015 by sapper1

[Randyk47]

Wading through all the quotes and comments on quotes is starting to hurt my head. :o:) Speaking for us only we have typically enjoyed meeting people on our cruises. Not all ship board friendships go beyond the cruise but two couples we've met over the past three years have become wonderful and steady friends. We have vacationed with and visited each others' homes now outside of cruising. Just this past Thansgiving we spent almost a week with one of the couples and their very large extended family. We fit in so well we've been "adopted" and are now Uncle Randy and Aunt Carey.

 

That's not to say each and every cruise we take we set out to make friends. Personally I'm already with my best friend and really don't need other people and my wife feels the same way so it's not like we have to meet other people. It sometimes happens and sometimes it doesn't happen. As for discussion subjects all I can say is we don't start out with a particular list of in or out of limits subjects. We certainly don't sort or chose our friends by political views, religion, profession, or income on land and it's no different on vacation on a cruise or in a resort or wherever. What we know about our friends now is just the normal maturation of a friendship so sure some of those subjects are covered.

 

Worry less and enjoy more. :)

[qsuzi]

That's not to say each and every cruise we take we set out to make friends. Personally I'm already with my best friend and really don't need other people and my wife feels the same way so it's not like we have to meet other people. It sometimes happens and sometimes it doesn't happen. As for discussion subjects all I can say is we don't start out with a particular list of in or out of limits subjects. We certainly don't sort or chose our friends by political views, religion, profession, or income on land and it's no different on vacation on a cruise or in a resort or wherever. What we know about our friends now is just the normal maturation of a friendship so sure some of those subjects are covered. Worry less and enjoy more. :)

 

There is so much to be said for how you approach conversations and friendships on a cruise. As my DH says "go with the flow" and just enjoy people and the experience. We may or may not end up talking about some of the potentially controversial subjects, but sometimes you do go away friendships in progress or a better understanding of issues and human nature.