What topics are off-limits?

[albingirl]

You were fortunate.

We shared tables for a number of cruises and got to the point of having a table to ourselves. Because we often sailed the same ship, we always had the same table. If we had friends on board, there were seats for them to join us at a four top.

 

Now that I am solo, it's irrelevant. I wouldn't be adverse to getting a table for myself rather than risk sitting with someone just described above. If I'm not in pleasant company, I'd rather have no company.

If I sail with friends, as I am doing, certainly we'll sit together.

 

 

Sail, you are always a sweetheart on these boards and anyone should be honored to share a table for dinner with you. I know I would.

[sail7seas]

Sail, you are always a sweetheart on these boards and anyone should be honored to share a table for dinner with you. I know I would.

 

Thank you. :o

I hope we someday have the chance to meet on board.....

qsuzi ...... hope you are there, too.

We can have a 'girls table'. :) We'd be chattering away through dinner. :)

 

Edited May 14, 2015 by sail7seas

[albingirl]

Thank you. :o

I hope we someday have the chance to meet on board.....

qsuzi ...... hope you are there, too.

We can have a 'girls table'. :) We'd be chattering away through dinner. :)

 

 

Perfect! I agree!:)

[qsuzi]

Thank you. :o

I hope we someday have the chance to meet on board.....

qsuzi ...... hope you are there, too.

We can have a 'girls table'. :) We'd be chattering away through dinner. :)

 

 

I have just come to respect, be open, understanding and caring, about you for YOU!

[hcij2015]

I had a friend who would harangue me on a regular basis to convert to his religion or I would spend eternity burning in Hades. That, more than anything else, has heightened my sensitivity about discussing religion anywhere, whether at a dinner table of cruisers or online. I think flaunting one's religious beliefs is insensitive, self-serving, and unkind.

 

Yes agreed. Add offensive to the list too.

 

I read one.of those here on CC. We don't care what

you believe in re spirituality. We.don't want to hear

about it anywhere. Work, social, on CC, or at the front

door

 

Thanx

[swin26]

What do you do can be quite interesting. We once were at a table with a family who owned a family farm which had been in their family for generations. As we are city dwellers it was wonderful hearing about the hardships and joys of farming. We enjoyed our nightly conversations and never would have had these conversations if we had not asked the what do you do question.

[sandij]

I would have to place politics first on the list, we had an elderly lady almost have a heart attack she became so enraged by a political comment at the dinner table. If you have assigned seating you get to know the people better and in a few days you can have normal conversations on any number of topics. We usually enjoy a large table of interesting people.

[HokiePoq]

I usually say, if it is politics, gun control etc. that I am Canadian and know nothing about the US system. That usually works even though it is untrue. One time, on our first cruise my husband got into a political discussion that was getting heated. I kicked him under the table and the conversation stopped. Found out later it wasnt him I kicked. Regardless, it worked lol

 

Love it! I understand the religion and politics topic taboo...same as at home. I didn't realize the occupation thing was also taboo.....thanks for the enlightenment. Only time any of this has been an issue was on recent cruise where one of the tablemates would go off every night on the polar opposite of my views. I finally said something about it...nicely, I think, but not sure these folks ever want to cruise with me again.

Should I just have endured in silence?

[iancal]

We recently did two Australian cruises..14 day and a 17 day. Lots of differences between other cruises that we have taken.

 

One big difference is that nobody seemed too concerned about what others at the table did nor were there questions about it. This was a first for us after quite a few cruises.

 

We always got the distinct feeling that the purpose was to try and categorize our socio economic status. We notice this much more on US based cruises.

[BumperII]

Sex, religion, and politics.

 

Danger!

 

Also a good idea to lay off of anything a financial nature, whether it be your net worth or the cruise fare. I usually agree that we know where our next meal is coming from, and let it go at that.

[Cruising-along]

Very interesting thread! I had no idea anyone could be offended by the question "where are you from"? I certainly don't ask for details, just the country or state is enough for me, and I'm genuinely interested. There have been so many times I have met someone who may live in the same town, or where I used to live -- I just find it interesting.

 

Unless we're traveling with friends, DH and I get a table for 2 in the MDR to avoid problems described here. And maybe because I'm a morning person, I just don't feel like taking the chance of being seated with an overbearing, opinionated person at dinner when I just want to relax. Earlier in the day in the Lido at breakfast or lunch, it's easier to get away. ;)

[pizzadog]

I am always amazed at the assumptions people make having just met us over dinner. They assume that we will find their off colour humour amusing; they assume that we will agree with their derogatory remarks about public figures; they assume that we will agree with their political and religious views. And then they are offended that we are offended!

We have only had two really bad experiences with dining companions on our cruises. We always do any time dining so you have to adjust to the folk at your table. Please note that we are Canadians and the only really offensive table companions we have had were Canadian - whatever happened to Canadians being so polite. Both times these people deeply insulted the Americans at our table and we were appalled. But - being Canadians - we said nothing. From here on in I don't think we would sit silently and just let this happen. If more of us took a stand and either rebuked the offending party or simply asked the waiter to move us to a different table maybe this kind of behaviour would change - then again, maybe not!

[Rowsby]

Most of us are retired....and I don't mind if anyone asks where we live (Oregon)...or our previous occupations...

 

We have met cruisers who have had wonderful job experiences...we enjoyed hearing about them...and they enjoyed telling us....

 

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to identify someone who might be uncomfortable discussing their career....a slight reluctance in joining in is a strong enough message to change the subject....

 

Politics, religion and finances are definitely not discussed...

 

I particularly dislike discussing medical conditions at the dinner table...and I am a retired nursing supervisor....

 

We prefer anytime dining...usually request a 6 top...and have rarely been disappointed with our tablemates or conversation....

[cruisemom42]

I think most topics are fine if people can discuss them without personalizing things. (A lot of folks seem to have lost the fine art of conversation...!) Once or twice I've run across someone who is a real humbug, but most people, IMO, are simply curious about differences and interested in hearing others' viewpoints.

[summersigh]

I've never seen asking where someone was from was offensive ..... but then I never really expected an answer any more "specific" than the state.

 

It doesn't occur to ask for more - just that it opened another avenue for general conversation. :rolleyes:

[wander]

Wow, I must be the real "odd-ball" on this topic. I LOVE to learn from others and to better understand those who think/believe differently than I do. If my dinner table mates (or friends at home for that matter) made even half the topics mentioned on this thread taboo, how DULL!!!!! How do we develop understanding between differences without discussions?

 

Now I agree with previous posters Zerbot and Cruisemom42 that it is not the topic but how it is approached that matters. If one (or more) participants approach a topic from an "I am right and you are wrong" perspective, no good. But almost daily (at home, work or cruise ship) I have interesting conversations about "controversial???" topics. Of course there are the exceptions, but thankfully in over 800 days of cruising only once have I had a truly unpleasant dining experience, and that was related to a medication issue that led to the person being sent home by the ship. It had nothing to do with conversation, but behavior. (Always ask for table of 6 or 8.) That said, could I have become best friends with all my table mates - absolutely not, but I could learn from them and looked forward to dinner each evening.

 

As a note, I am known as being a very friendly and supportive person, even to a few folks at home who I think of a basically "jerks". As long as folks do not try to tell me what to believe or do!

 

As a true aside, one time when my father, who was about 80, was visiting us we invited a friend and her parents (also around 80) over for dinner. While my friend and I were getting dinner ready in the kitchen, suddenly a very loud argument erupted in the living room. It seems that my friend's mother, who had move to the Pacific Northwest from Southern California was telling my father that he could not possibly like living in the PNW because of the weather (he had moved here from Florida), and he was saying she had no right to tell him what he liked and disliked. SOOOOO - sometimes weather is even taboo.

Edited May 15, 2015 by wander

[WpgCruise]

The first evening can be interesting as everyone tries to open a conversation and get to know each other.

 

I'm a little shy, and usually hope for someone else to make the first move.

 

One cruise, as the couple sat down, introduced themselves, the fellow looked at me and said "Where are you from" which is a normal ice breaker. When I told him, his reply was "Tell us about where you live".

 

I thought that was a great ice breaker and have tried it a couple of times.

 

I really think people like to talk about themselves, maybe more than they like to hear me talk about me.

Edited May 15, 2015 by WpgCruise

[Hlitner]

Ok, had my Martini and feel the need to vent (not the martini). While we can appreciate everyone's opinions we think our country (and other parts of the world) have regressed into a bad situation. Good discussion, intellectual conversation, friendly debate, can no longer happen (in some folks mind) because everyone now gets "offended" by just about everything. The word "offensive" has taken on a new meaning and seems to mean that "if you do not agree with everything I say then I am offended"

 

If somebody whats to discuss (not loudly argue) politics, healthcare systems, sports, cruise pricing, etc. I am not going to be "offended." I might respond to a question by saying something like "I do not like to talk about what we pay for cruises" but am not going to be upset if somebody brings up the topic. When a European wants to talk about US politics I might oblige, or perhaps just say "I prefer not to talk about politics." At that point I just smile and defer to another subject such as FIFA (always fun to bring this up with European men). But none of these issues "offend" me at all and I am cognizant of my ability to not discuss certain subjects by simply changing the subject.

 

Personally I am "offended" by folks trying to control the conversation (everywhere) by using using the word "offended" to cut off anything.

 

Hank

[Jade13]

Off limits to me is "What do you do?" (for a living). I find that offensive and turn the conversation to something else, or just answer "enjoy my cruises" and on to another topic.

 

Wow. I never would have thought that question was offensive to anyone, and I sure would never ask trying to figure out how much someone makes, because we sure don't care.

 

I would think someone who finds that offensive is insecure about what they do, or did. Like you said it is just as easy to say you "travel" or cruise.

 

Most people we meet while cruising are retired so they aren't even working.

Edited May 15, 2015 by Jade13

[The-Inside-Cabin]

Let's talk about formal night dress codes

[kazu]

Wow. I never would have thought that question was offensive to anyone, and I sure would never ask trying to figure out how much someone makes, because we sure don't care.

 

I would think someone who finds that offensive is insecure about what they do, or did. Like you said it is just as easy to say you "travel" or cruise.

 

Most people we meet while cruising are retired so they aren't even working.

 

I think the term offensive is getting confusing here.

 

We are happy to talk about anything as long as no one starts pontificating. the problem is that a number of people cannot have a discussion without proving that they are right. or they have to reiterate it over and over and over again.

 

As to what we do for a living, we just prefer not to say - yes DH still works and he often prefers not to say what he does for a living - he simply says he pretends to work hard. and leaves it at that.

 

Those we know or get to know, know what he does but really, what does it matter? What you do for a living (or did do) doesn't define who you are.

[zerbot]

Wow. I never would have thought that was offensive to anyone, and I sure would never ask trying to figure out how much someone makes, because we sure don't care.

 

I would think someone who finds that offensive is insecure about what they do, or did.

 

Most people we meet while cruising are retired so they aren't even working.

 

I'm speaking specifically of the kind of people where "what do you do?" is almost literally the first thing out of their mouths (at a party or dinner, for example). When I was a wee tadpole just getting started out, answering those kind of people resulted in a quite visible loss of interest followed by lamely excusing themselves to to chat up someone else who might be worth their time. If someone does that these days, I will still claim tadpole status just to get rid of them.

 

Often, it comes up organically in conversation after extended conversation about other things. I don't mind that. But occasionally, I've found that even then some people will think they have a perfect right to know who my clients are and all the details about why they hired me. Besides, I go on vacation to get away from work, so the last thing I want to do is spend my vacation talking about work!

[NW Pacific]

Have only been on HAL once, in Feb-Mar- use to Freestyle dining on NCL, we really liked HAL, have booked another cruise. BUT, dining with others as this thread has been about, is not very comfortable for the above mentioned reasons, do not want to be concerned on a cruise what to say or not while enjoying dinner, we choose anytime dining and finally were able to get a table top for 2 after the second day on our 10 day cruise. Would suggest to HAL more 2 top dining available, instead of having guests stress out what is appropriate conversation. Just my opinion.

[Lauranne]

This is a strange thread for me as DH and I have traveled quite a bit, in many scenarios. Bike trips in Europe, family land travel in Europe and Asia, Land travel in US and South America, vacations in the Caribbean and Cuba and a number of cruises thrown in as well. We have made many life long friends during our travels by not avoiding topics but by being accepting and respectful of others beliefs and opinions. We start conversation gently and keep topics general. As days go by we become comfortable with each other and conversation becomes more direct and often on the "taboo" subjects mentioned by others on this thread. I was raised to accept all. We are no better or worse than others and we might learn if we take the time to ask and listen. Just my humble opinion. :p

[bwaz]

CowPrincess, Great topic and lots of good responses. I would also like to know how CCers handle a situation when a stranger-fellow traveler broaches one of the topics they feel are off-limits? In other words, how do you (tactfully) extricate yourself from discussions that take a turn into areas/subjects that you would rather not discuss?

 

Rod

 

I smile and say in a friendly way, Gosh, we don't go cruising to talk about (whatever).

 

My DH and I like 8 tops. We've always met some nice people, find out interesting things about ports, other cruises they might have been on, etc. We can pretty much take what comes along in stride and have a good laugh later if need be.

 

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