Letting table mates know you won't be at dinner

[GUT2407]

If someone says if we aren't here after ten minutes go ahead without us, I would go ahead and order when everyone else is at the table, be it on time or five minutes late. There is no way I would wait for a tablemate who would announce this on the first night.

 

But it's not up to you, it's up to the waiter and his bosses.

[moniquet]

Reading this re-enforces how right we are to have changed to requesting a table for two. In the past joining a table for eight worked well. We met some lovely people, some who we have kept in touch with. Things seemed to change with anytime dining and more speciality dining, or passengers changed, not sure. On RCL we had a man who was very rude, especially to the waiters. The next on Cunard we had one couple who were late every time. Not just late but they would eat their way through two or three appetisers whilst the rest sat around. Our table was the last out of the restaurant every night and not because we were having a roaring time.

 

Some cruise lines do serve you as a couple but others wait a while to see if anyone else arrives. Perhaps there should be a ruling that the Head Waiter should be informed if not showing up.

Edited October 19, 2015 by moniquet

[DirtyDawg]

Some cruise lines do serve you as a couple but others wait a while to see if anyone else arrives. Perhaps there should be a ruling that the Head Waiter should be informed if not showing up.

 

I agree it would be nice if there was a rule that the Head Waiter be informed if people plan not to show up in the MDR. However, even if the rule was announced it would never be enforced. Would the transgressors be fined by the cruise ship? Would they have their specialty restaurant reservations cancelled? Would they be barred from the buffet?

 

If this issue is a big deal for some cruisers they should do as you did and change to seating alone, or as another poster said, bring their own glass of wine into the MDR, relax and start the conversation with those there at the table. Dinner service will start eventually.

 

As for good manner vs. bad manners, I have learned over the years that I can control my good manners, hopefully I positively influenced my kids' manners but as for the other 7.2 billion people on the planet - if I don't expect too much I won't be disappointed.

[Charles4515]

 

As for good manner vs. bad manners, I have learned over the years that I can control my good manners, hopefully I positively influenced my kids' manners but as for the other 7.2 billion people on the planet - if I don't expect too much I won't be disappointed.

 

 

I think maybe too much is being made of this. It is not really good manners versus bad manners. I think if you know you are going to be elsewhere the evening before at the table tell the waiters and table-mates the night before. That would be nice. If you forget, fall asleep, make a last minute decision to eat at the buffet, I personally would try to call but it's really not horrible if people don't. Dinner will go on. The waiters won't wait that long. I have had table mates not show or come 15 minutes late and we had already ordered. and I didn't hate them.

[DirtyDawg]

I think maybe too much is being made of this. It is not really good manners versus bad manners. I think if you know you are going to be elsewhere the evening before at the table tell the waiters and table-mates the night before. That would be nice. If you forget, fall asleep, make a last minute decision to eat at the buffet, I personally would try to call but it's really not horrible if people don't. Dinner will go on. The waiters won't wait that long. I have had table mates not show or come 15 minutes late and we had already ordered. and I didn't hate them.

 

I'm glad you didn't hate those late people. I woud'nt hate them either. From reading this thread I think you and I are in the minority. Sounds like most posters want those late people to walk the plank.;) And on time too!!:D

[vacation luvver]

Reading this re-enforces how right we are to have changed to requesting a table for two.

You can say that again! On a Celebrity Summit cruise, my friend and I had Celebrity Select dining. We planned to go on a ship's excursion in Bar Harbor, to which we had to tender, and I asked what time we should make our dinner reservation for. I was told no earlier than 7:30 PM. So we booked a table for two at 7:30 PM. After the excursion, we got on line for the tender at 6:45 PM, and I figured that we would be able to keep our 7:30 PM dinner reservation. 7:30 PM came and went, and the line for the tender hadn't moved. The last tender was supposed to leave Bar Harbor at 7:30 PM, but there were so many people in front of us on line, and so many people had gotten in line behind us in the 45 minutes between 6:45 PM and 7:30 PM that we didn't know what time everyone would be able to get on the ship. We finally got onto the ship hours later, and we managed to get to the buffet at 11:15 PM.

 

I'm sure there were people on line who were supposed to eat at the second sitting who didn't get to the MDR on time, and I have no idea how they were supposed to let anyone know that they wouldn't be able to make it. I don't know whom they were supposed to call, or how they were supposed to make the call.

[john watson]

You can say that again! On a Celebrity Summit cruise, my friend and I had Celebrity Select dining. We planned to go on a ship's excursion in Bar Harbor, to which we had to tender, and I asked what time we should make our dinner reservation for. I was told no earlier than 7:30 PM. So we booked a table for two at 7:30 PM. After the excursion, we got on line for the tender at 6:45 PM, and I figured that we would be able to keep our 7:30 PM dinner reservation. 7:30 PM came and went, and the line for the tender hadn't moved. The last tender was supposed to leave Bar Harbor at 7:30 PM, but there were so many people in front of us on line, and so many people had gotten in line behind us in the 45 minutes between 6:45 PM and 7:30 PM that we didn't know what time everyone would be able to get on the ship. We finally got onto the ship hours later, and we managed to get to the buffet at 11:15 PM.

 

I'm sure there were people on line who were supposed to eat at the second sitting who didn't get to the MDR on time, and I have no idea how they were supposed to let anyone know that they wouldn't be able to make it. I don't know whom they were supposed to call, or how they were supposed to make the call.

 

This was posted quoting a previous poster as having said Reading this re-enforces how right we are to have changed to requesting a table for two.

 

This is very true as if you had been on a table for eight you would have likely inconvenienced six others turning up late like this.

 

On the other hand thinking it through I cannot see any relevance to table size if almost everybody on the cruise was stranded ashore due to tender problems.

 

Regards John

[John Bull]

Sounds like most posters want those late people to walk the plank.;) And on time too!!:D

 

Nope. We just want folk to show a little consideration. ;)

 

So we booked a table for two at 7:30 PM. After the excursion,...... we finally got onto the ship hours later, and we managed to get to the buffet at 11:15 PM.

 

I'm sure there were people on line who were supposed to eat at the second sitting who didn't get to the MDR on time, and I have no idea how they were supposed to let anyone know that they wouldn't be able to make it. I don't know whom they were supposed to call, or how they were supposed to make the call.

 

With your table for two, there were no table-mates to be informed - and anyway they were doubtless in the same boat (awful pun intended ;)). Given the circumstances, I'm sure you weren't the only ones & the staff would have known the problem.

 

Despite posts about common courtesy by myself & others in the same camp, we know that there are times when it's difficult or impossible to forewarn table-mates. I'd have simply made my apologies next evening - nobody would make me walk the plank and I'd probably have gotten sympathy for missing a convivial evening ;)

 

JB :)

[MrsPete]

If the poster said it was for convenience and security and added that they were a 28 yr old female cruising alone, would you still say they're being ridiculous?

Yes. On a cruise ship, you're always surrounded by other people, giving criminals fairly little chance to do anything nasty to you.

 

Now, if that 28-year old female cruiser told her criminal tablemate (does anyone else have a mental image of a large, greasy-haired man with a beaked nose, wearing a monocle and a top hat glaring down at the innocent solo cruiser?) that she was going ashore by herself and planned to walk about the town alone, THAT could be dangerous. Telling the criminal that she planned to nap on the dark helicopter pad alone would be a bad idea.

 

But telling him she won't be in the MDR the following night? No, I can't imagine any danger that could come from that information. Even if she says, "I will be dining alone in Chops at 7:30 pm", I just don't see what danger could come of that.

 

I think maybe the misunderstanding is what 'compromise security' means.

Giving out any information about yourself, your activities or whereabouts to strangers compromises your security.

That does not mean you are being physically threatened, or stalked or where ever you want to go with the next absurd reduction.

It just means you've released a piece of information that makes you somewhat more vulnerable.

Nope, doesn't make any difference.

 

Now, telling someone where you live, where you work, etc. could potentially allow that person to piece together information on your life ... could potentially -- with a lot more help -- lead to identity theft. Maybe. But knowing that you're eating in location 2 instead of location 1. No, nothing.

 

Not just your issue. I dislike the whole anticipating preferences thing also. I like to change my mind and I don't want someone making assumptions about how or what I eat or drink.

I'm with you. I usually drink iced tea with my dinner, but IF I happen to want a Diet Coke tonight, and the waiter has already provided me with a tea, I'd feel obligated to drink it. As such, I've never quite "gotten" the fascination with "wow, the waiter had my drink at the table before I arrived!"

[screwsmcernst]

I have a food allergy, so I always place my order for the next nights dinner the evening before. If I know I won't be there, I will let them know.