Letting table mates know you won't be at dinner

[nbsjcruiser]

As a courtesy we will tell our waiter and tablemates if we won't be there so service I'd not held up waiting for us.

 

Yep. Same here. We always let them know if we aren't going to be there.

[alexspepa]

Rather than my giving you the answer, think it through yourself. Then Google "cruise ship crimes cover ups".

 

I emphasize that we feel safe on RCI, but still take sensible precautions.

 

Ok I did and I still don't get it...

[GUT2407]

Meh. The original question was asked and answered. Not much more the discuss there. The only fun left is to laugh about the idea that telling someone you won't be joining them for dinner is a security risk.

 

Yep.

[GUT2407]

Someone previously asked the question - but it didn't get answered. I thought the MDR knew if you had booked a specialty restaurant? So they know ahead of time that you are not coming.

 

On our last cruise our wait staff asked how we had enjoyed the specialty restaurant when we returned the next night - so I assumed they got a list of some sort.

 

 

And what if your are having room service, or eating in the buffet, or skipping all together so you can get your jeans on again eventually?

[navybankerteacher]

Now I'm even more curious. Assuming that one of my table mates is a criminal, how is my security compromised if this criminal knows that I will be eating in a different restaurant one night?

 

Knowing that you will not be in the main dining room at that particular time will enable the nefarious evil-doer to stalk you with a slightly better chance of finding you - since he will know for certain at least one place (the dining room) where he need not look. He may also take comfort from knowing that at least some of the people on the ship who know you (your other table-mates) are unlikely to be with you, thereby improving his chances of catching you alone.

 

When you are a paranoid nut-job, it is easy to develop esoteric defensive strategies.

[ithaca gal]

If I know a head of time I will let them know. On our last cruise we came in late from an excursion and another time we felt like going to the buffet so there was really no way of letting them know.

 

What? How was there really no way of letting them know? Isn't the Main Dining Room on the same ship as the buffet? There is a phone system OR you could walk to the MDR just to let them know. We have done the walk down just to be courteous to our waiters and tablemates. It's the only polite thing to do.

[Mark-Sheffield]

Quite right, it is good manners to let people know, which should include staff.

[McGillMom]

 

What? How was there really no way of letting them know? Isn't the Main Dining Room on the same ship as the buffet? There is a phone system OR you could walk to the MDR just to let them know. We have done the walk down just to be courteous to our waiters and tablemates. It's the only polite thing to do.[/QUOTE]

 

Exactly!!

 

[Pris13]

I think maybe the misunderstanding is what 'compromise security' means.

Giving out any information about yourself, your activities or whereabouts to strangers compromises your security.

That does not mean you are being physically threatened, or stalked or where ever you want to go with the next absurd reduction.

It just means you've released a piece of information that makes you somewhat more vulnerable.

We do this all the time and give out lots of information that we probably shouldn't. Most of the time nothing comes of it, and that's why we get complacent.

It's like making sure your 6 yr old doesn't start talking to a stranger in a park and telling them where they live and such. Most of the time they're probably fine giving out any information since the person in the park isn't a predator, but the child isn't capable of making that risk assessment. As the 6 yr old grows up they learn how to make that risk assessment. e.g. the stranger is the older brother of a friend. Giving out the info still makes that kid more vulnerable, but he/she is accepting that risk based on other factors.

 

Understand I'm simply saying it's not ridiculous for someone to make a personal decision to not give out information to the strangers at their table.

 

Also I agree that saying "I won't be joining you tomorrow" in the vast majority of situations is the courteous and proper response.

 

Precisely and as an adult with at least a small amount of common sense one should be able to know that saying "I will not be joining you tomorrow evening" in no way compromises one's safety.

[NLH Arizona]

When I cruise on a line that has fixed dining, I always ask on the first night, if folks would lets us know if they won't be any of the dinners, so no one will wait for them.

[GUT2407]

Quite right, it is good manners to let people know, which should include staff.

 

Do good manners still exist??

[CPT Trips]

Do good manners still exist??

 

Probably been traded for increased personal security. :rolleyes:

[GUT2407]

Probably been traded for increased personal security. :rolleyes:

 

I'm all for personal security, but like so many things people just go way over the top.

 

Moderation in all things, except love and Diet Coke.

[Lizzie68]

All I have ever done is tell my servers (and dining companions if we are not at a 2-top) is that if we are not here within 5 minutes of the doors opening, we will not be there are all so please don't wait for us. Because, let's face it - you may have changed plans during the day, or just decide you do not want dinner. You do not have to go running around to let people know.

[GUT2407]

All I have ever done is tell my servers (and dining companions if we are not at a 2-top) is that if we are not here within 5 minutes of the doors opening, we will not be there are all so please don't wait for us. Because, let's face it - you may have changed plans during the day, or just decide you do not want dinner. You do not have to go running around to let people know.

 

But there no need to go running around, use Mr Bell's little invention, I believe it let's you talk to people in other places without going anywhere.

 

Marvelous if true.

[Laughing Angel]

We love the MDR, so unless we're checking out the specialty dining option, we're always there. We've only missed dinner once...

 

Several years ago, we were coming back late from an excursion due to vehicle issues, and missed our seating (and were too exhausted to do anything more than call room service). We felt terrible about holding up dinner, so ever since then, we've informed the wait staff that if we are more than 5 minutes late to please go ahead and start service without us. It's only common courtesy.

 

Still trying to figure out how a courteous act compromises anyone's personal safety and security. :confused:

[NLH Arizona]

Still trying to figure out how a courteous act compromises anyone's personal safety and security. :confused:

I'm wondering the same thing. If you just tell your tablemates that you won't be there for dinner the next night and not elaborate where you will be dining, how would anyone know where to find you and why would someone be looking for you. One could be at the buffet, at one of the many specialty restaurants, at one of the many other free restaurants or having room service.

[GUT2407]

I'm wondering the same thing. If you just tell your tablemates that you won't be there for dinner the next night and not elaborate where you will be dining, how would anyone know where to find you and why would someone be looking for you. One could be at the buffet, at one of the many specialty restaurants, at one of the many other free restaurants or having room service.

 

 

I think I might have this security thing figured.

 

Sherlock Holmes said "When you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how unlikely is the solution" (or words to that effect).

 

So if your criminal table mate knows you aren't in the MDR, he merely need to establish everywhere else you aren't and then he knows where you really are.

 

Now I'm really really :confused:

[notentirelynormal]

Just wondering - for the first time we are sailing in a suite and will get the specialty restaurant for free on the first night. Since it is the first night (only a 4 day cruise) would you still let them know? Help me solve my dilemma.

 

As to answer the original question: yes, it is polite to tell your table mates and/or the waiter or just say that if you are not there by 5 minutes after dinner time to start without you. If the people at the table can patiently wait for you, if your waiter can patiently wait for you, why on earth can you not be polite enough to NOT make them have to wait. Remember they don't start taking your order until everyone is there.

[notentirelynormal]

I think I might have this security thing figured.

 

Sherlock Holmes said "When you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how unlikely is the solution" (or words to that effect).

 

So if your criminal table mate knows you aren't in the MDR, he merely need to establish everywhere else you aren't and then he knows where you really are.

 

Now I'm really really :confused:

 

Funny

[Lizzie68]

But there no need to go running around, use Mr Bell's little invention, I believe it let's you talk to people in other places without going anywhere.

 

Marvelous if true.

 

Why? Are they not able to handle a simple thing like that? Let's face it, most people are still strolling in 5 minutes after the doors open. As long as the servers are aware, no problem.

[john watson]

People do care whether you are present or not because your absence may well delay their dining and ruin any follow on theatre/entertainment plans for the evening. They do not need to know where else you might be going. In general they simply want to know what the score is should the tables diners be partially assembled. Do they order or do they politely wait?

 

It is reasonable early on during a cruise to say to your table companions, provided you know you are always punctual: "If we are not here in good time just start without us" In this way you are giving no details of your plans; alternative restaurant ideas, days of the week habits, birthdays, anniversaries or anything else you are simply being polite in not inconveniencing others.

 

Alternatively you could say to everybody "On the subject of our not attending this Main Dining Room, first sitting; I am not prepared to divulge any definitive information proceed as you wish and I feel that I may have said too much already". It amounts to the same thing but makes you sound like a total numpty.

 

Regards John

Edited October 11, 2015 by john watson

[ithaca gal]

It has been suggested that a simple "I won't be in the MDR tomorrow night" is all that needs to be said to a waiter or tablemates, without sharing too much information. However, someone said, "What if they (have the nerve to) say, 'What will you be doing instead?'".

 

A perfectly acceptable way to avoid divulging any further information or compromising your security would be to use that old chestnut, "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

 

Yeah, try that.

[nhsails]

Absolutely, we let tablemates and waitstaff know night before if we have made other plans, let waitstaff know that day if we change spur of the minute. Just plain old common courtesy to all

[GottaKnowWhen]

That being said...stepping foot out of one's cabin compromises one's security/safety. The discussion here is whether saying you're not joining your table-mates on a given night poses a realistic and reasonable enough threat to anyone's security so as to make it worth actually not mentioning it on the cruise ship.

 

 

1. We would absolutely always without fail let our tablemates know that we won't be there the next evening. I would expect them to wait for us if we were late, I would do the same for them. Common courtesy.

 

2. Note that people can get attacked in their cabins. (I saw it on Fox.) So staying in may not be the best alternative; best would probably be to slink around, avoid being one-on-one with someone in an elevator or corridor, avoid crowds, bring your own food so you avoid being poisoned, don't talk to strangers. But enjoy your cruise!

 

3. It is an established fact that even paranoids have real enemies who are out to get them. Just not nearly so many as they imagine.