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Letting table mates know you won't be at dinner

Luv my furbaby

By Luv my furbaby,
in Ask a Cruise Question

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Pops, Esq.

Pops, Esq.

Posted
Posted
I think maybe the misunderstanding is what 'compromise security' means.

 

Giving out any information about yourself, your activities or whereabouts to strangers compromises your security.

 

That does not mean you are being physically threatened, or stalked or where ever you want to go with the next absurd reduction.

 

It just means you've released a piece of information that makes you somewhat more vulnerable.

 

We do this all the time and give out lots of information that we probably shouldn't. Most of the time nothing comes of it, and that's why we get complacent.

 

It's like making sure your 6 yr old doesn't start talking to a stranger in a park and telling them where they live and such. Most of the time they're probably fine giving out any information since the person in the park isn't a predator, but the child isn't capable of making that risk assessment. As the 6 yr old grows up they learn how to make that risk assessment. e.g. the stranger is the older brother of a friend. Giving out the info still makes that kid more vulnerable, but he/she is accepting that risk based on other factors.

 

 

 

Understand I'm simply saying it's not ridiculous for someone to make a personal decision to not give out information to the strangers at their table.

 

 

 

Also I agree that saying "I won't be joining you tomorrow" in the vast majority of situations is the courteous and proper response.

 

 

I think the bigger security "compromise" would be showing up at your assigned DINING ROOM at your ASSIGNED TIME to be seated at your ASSIGNED TABLE. For 2 hours, the bad guys know EXACTLY where you will be. By letting someone know you are not going to be there on any given night leave the entire ship as a possible location for you.

 

On the other hand, telling people you won't be here tomorrow, "because we have 7:00 reservations in the steakhouse" could give them a window of opportunity. I could see that as a potential compromise of security with those evil tablemates.

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navybankerteacher

navybankerteacher

Posted
Posted
I think the bigger security "compromise" would be showing up at your assigned DINING ROOM at your ASSIGNED TIME to be seated at your ASSIGNED TABLE. For 2 hours, the bad guys know EXACTLY where you will be. By letting someone know you are not going to be there on any given night leave the entire ship as a possible location for you.

 

On the other hand, telling people you won't be here tomorrow, "because we have 7:00 reservations in the steakhouse" could give them a window of opportunity. I could see that as a potential compromise of security with those evil tablemates.

 

When you do show up at your assigned dining room table, not only will they know where you - they will know where you ARE NOT: you will not be in your stateroom - leaving it vulnerable to break-in for that predictable 2 hours.

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Donder1

Donder1

Posted
Posted

We always request a table for two and we tell the wait staff that we will be there most nights. We also tell them if, for some reason, our plans change at the last minute, to assume that after 10 minutes or so, we won't be there for dinner.

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John Bull

John Bull

Posted
Posted

 

Well, I could list some crimes of opportunity, one in particular (not on RCI) that would make your hair stand on end.

 

Then please do.

Instead of just spouting insecure nonsense.

 

I don't even see a problem in telling others why I'll not be at dinner one night, especially if someone asks out of natural curiosity.

Of course if it were because I was planning to raid their cabin I'd have to make up some other excuse, but at least I'll know that they'll be in their dining room for the relevant hour or two.

 

But of course to do that I'd have to find out their cabin number. And that's not something that tends to come up in general conversation. :rolleyes:

 

I suggest you do as the rest of us do, and look on Cruise Law News as good for a laugh.:D

 

JB :)

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GUT2407

GUT2407

Posted
Posted
Has anyone got an opinion on having a fixed dining option on a table for two and not telling the other "table mate" that you are not going to show up for dinner?

 

Regards John

 

 

Depends if it's DW she probably won't even notice

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ronandannette

ronandannette

Posted
Posted (edited)
On our Freedom of the Seas cruise about 4 years ago, we got a really pathetic table for 2. It was crowded and shoved in to a tiny place with other people who were trying to also have intimate tables for 2 right on top of us. I refused wine when the wine waiter came by and I always use my hands when I talk. It was nothing dramatic, just a wave of my hand, but a few minutes later I looked up and caught him mocking me and the other waiter laughing. Then they both turned towards me and realized i had seen it all. We didn't get much service, no drinks, not even water. They just stayed away as much as possible-we left before dessert and went to the Windjammer, which is wonderful on the FOTS. I called down the next day to cancel all our MTD reservations for the week and she asked if there was a problem. I did tell her they were rude and there was no way I would get my husband back into the dining room. She just said Oh, so I figured it was not going to be a problem if we never went back. We ate at the WJ the rest of the time and then on the next cruise on Celebrity, he would only go to the buffet. Then last year on the Serenade, we did eat one night-the 5th or so, in the mdr. Our tablemates were so weird and never shut up telling us personal stories. On each cruise, they called the last night and begged us to come down for the fancy dinner, but my husband is stubborn and kind of a pain, so we didn't. On the 2nd and 3rd cruise, I didn't call. I never even thought about it, since no one has ever ever mentioned it. Sorry sorry.

On the next cruise-the Allure-we are leaving my husband at home and have 1st seating, so we are going to give it another shot. However, my parents really like the buffet and the variety, so I bet we don't eat there often.

 

RCCL seems to have an absolutely ridiculous policy of insisting on seating MTD guests at the same table every night and if you don't want to be there for some reason (like your incredibly rude servers), they demand a "good explanation". This issue has truly made me hate MTD on RCCL, although I like the concept on other lines.

 

They call you on the last night in hopes you will attend and give extra tips to your waitstaff, and maybe that you will feel compelled to give out one of those WOW cards. I'd think trying harder in the service and hospitality they offer during the cruise would be more effective than the transparent scrounging they do at the end, but I'm sure it's all part of some corporate policy.

Edited by ronandannette
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akcruz

akcruz

Posted
Posted
RCCL seems to have an absolutely ridiculous policy of insisting on seating MTD guests at the same table every night and if you don't want to be there for some reason (like your incredibly rude servers), they demand a "good explanation". This issue has truly made me hate MTD on RCCL, although I like the concept on other lines.

 

We had MTD on our cruise last week on Royal. We went to the dining room on 4 of the 7 nights and sat at 4 different tables. Two nights were in the same waitstaff's sections, but the others were totally different. No push at all to sit in the same section.

 

I did make reservations for 5 nights all at the same time. On one evening we decided we didn't feel like going to the MDR so called and cancelled our reservation. The person answering the phone was very thankful for our call.

 

As to the original question, if we do traditional dining we always will let our tablemates know (if we know ahead of time) if we will not be in the dining room the next day. Common courtesy in my mind. Of course in this day and age I think that has pretty much gone out the window.

 

Also, agree with many others, how does letting someone know you won't be there create a security issue???? Unbelievable.

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john watson

john watson

Posted
Posted (edited)
We don't inform the waiter or anyone else of our plans for convenience and security, unless we know our table mates very well.

 

So when the waiter asks you what you would like to eat what do you say?

 

Regards John

Edited by john watson
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Sara1975

Sara1975

Posted
Posted
On our Freedom of the Seas cruise about 4 years ago, we got a really pathetic table for 2. It was crowded and shoved in to a tiny place with other people who were trying to also have intimate tables for 2 right on top of us. I refused wine when the wine waiter came by and I always use my hands when I talk. It was nothing dramatic, just a wave of my hand, but a few minutes later I looked up and caught him mocking me and the other waiter laughing. Then they both turned towards me and realized i had seen it all. We didn't get much service, no drinks, not even water. They just stayed away as much as possible-we left before dessert and went to the Windjammer, which is wonderful on the FOTS.

Sorry that happened to you. I would bet if you just waved him off, without a "no thank you" or "no wine for me", he probably thought you were just being dismissive toward him and took offense.

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notentirelynormal

notentirelynormal

Posted
Posted
Sorry that happened to you. I would bet if you just waved him off, without a "no thank you" or "no wine for me", he probably thought you were just being dismissive toward him and took offense.

 

That still does not excuse rude behavior and I would have left the dining room and made no bones about why and what happened to the M'D. Ridiculing someone is never okay.

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polymedia

polymedia

Posted
Posted (edited)

Once again, stuff happens so many people don't anticipate that they're not going to show.

 

It's really OK and not an inconvenience at all. The waiters might wait a minute or two for someone to show, but then get started. If you show up late or not at all, no big deal.

 

I rarely miss a dinner myself, but it's a rare cruise when at least one tablemate doesn't miss at a night or two without telling someone.

 

If anything, it heightens the dinner conversation the next time they show up.

 

This is not something to worry about, and there's no breach of etiquette.

Edited by polymedia
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lahlah57

lahlah57

Posted
Posted

On the first nite with our tablemates I announce that if we are 10 minutes late.....feel free to start w/o us.

I do not wish to explain anything to strangers and if we may wish to dine in specialties on any given night.....still no ones business.....if we are tired and want to do room service....still no ones business. T he first nite explanation is good enough. Also...the wait staff is told too.

Easy peasy;)

I couldn't care less if people do not show and I am not told......I am going to have a lovely dinner:p

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cbr663 Great Review Rare

cbr663

Posted
Posted
When you have traditional dining, do you let your table mates or waiters know you will not be at dinner? On my last cruise, I missed 2 evenings in a row. One night just didn't feel like going and the next the mystery dinner theater. When I returned I got a comment from the waiter about where I was. No, not complaining at all that he asked. Just curious what others do? I think this time I will tell the waiter that to please not wait for me.

 

The waiter making a comment about where you were was inappropriate, imo. What do we do? We never select traditional dining and we avoid the MDR. Just today we were reviewing the itinerary for our upcoming cruise and planning where we hoped to dine and when.

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ithaca gal

ithaca gal

Posted
Posted
Once again, stuff happens so many people don't anticipate that they're not going to show.

 

It's really OK and not an inconvenience at all. The waiters might wait a minute or two for someone to show, but then get started. If you show up late or not at all, no big deal.

 

I rarely miss a dinner myself, but it's a rare cruise when at least one tablemate doesn't miss at a night or two without telling someone.

 

If anything, it heightens the dinner conversation the next time they show up.

 

This is not something to worry about, and there's no breach of etiquette.

 

Many people disagree that it is "really OK" and "not an inconvenience" at all if tablemates don't show and haven't let anyone know. Many of us are just saying that common courtesy is letting someone know that they do not need to wait for us if we know in advance that we won't be there. If we don't know in advance, letting them know to start without us if we aren't there "on time" is very considerate.

 

It may not be the worst thing to do, but a little courtesy is certainly appreciated by most people!

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