At What Age do you Feel it's Safe to Let Your Kids Roam (Allure esp.)?

[jamesboat]

The simple answer is what do you do at home, and you do the same on the ship. The ship is a floating city, with 8,680 people on board from 50 different countries.

 

So answer the question. Do you let your kids walk around your neighborhood. Do they walk to school? Do you allow them to walk to school? Do they take the bus on their own? What about at night? Do you kids walk down Main Street with the bars open?

 

The ship is no different than what you do at home. Yes, there are many cameras, but they don't cover every space.

 

I'm not going to tell you what to do, and my guess is that you should not be asking strangers what they do.

 

Not the same at all.

 

The most dangerous activity for kids involves motor vehicles.

 

The cruise ship lacks those.

[davekathy]

Yeah.

 

My contract is "don't do anything to piss me off or you'll be sitting in the cabin by yourself all week".

 

Like!

[rbschultz]

Started cruising with my family at 13. I was given free reign to do as I pleased for the most part. Went to Adventure Ocean and made a bunch of friends. Definitely safe for AT LEAST the 14 year old.

[J&Jtravelcouple]

I let my son roam at 12 (1 week shy of 13). He's very mature and I told him:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. Don't let ships personnel have to call me because you're doing something stupid. It won't end well for you.

 

 

 

 

 

I understand the intent of this and agree with it. I just urge caution in how you say it because if a child has any safety concerns, they SHOULD immediately contact a crew member to call you. They should understand what it means to be a uniformed crew member (explain that uniforms vary by department and throughout the day and night shifts) and also to have a name badge.

 

 

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[akcruz]

I just don't get this contract thing. Either you will do as I say and all is well or you don't and.........

If there needs to be a contract printed and signed then my child isn't mature enough.

 

 

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We never made it so official as to have kids sign it, but we did have them ready it and confirm they understood what was expected. My daughter is a rule follower so never had an issue. My son, on the other hand, had consequences imposed once and realized even though it was vacation he wasn't off the hook.

 

There are a lot of little things to think about and I would rather remind them ahead of time (don't drink out of a glass that has been out of sight, if you aren't at check you will loose x) instead of figuring it out while on the ship.

 

Some kids need that reminder while others don't. For those new to cruising reading the contract fills them in on things to think about. Of course all families and kids are different so what works for one may not for another. The contract worked for us.

 

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Edited December 14, 2016 by akcruz

[scubarn1]

We were on the Allure in August. My daughter was 1 month shy of turning 15. I allowed her to come and go to the teen club and do activities sponsored by the counselors in the club. I did purchase the wireless plan and we kept in touch via text. She seemed to make friends on the first day at their meet and greet and they all traveled in a pack ("her squad") around the ship. I gave her a curfew of 11pm to be back in the room, unless there was some organized event happening and she was able to stay out longer. Other rules included eating dinner with us every night and while in port, we did activities as a family.

She met a great group of friends on the ship that she still keeps in touch with via social media.

[cb at sea]

I wouldn't let kids that age "roam"...I would allow them to come and go to SPECIFIC places for SPECIFIC reasons. Roaming is inviting trouble!

 

I would tell them where I will be, and have them physically check in with me before going to the next place. Tell them where to you find you when they're done with that!

 

Yes...the ship is large, but 90 % is cabin space, so those areas won't be in your "search" areas!

[tlatrice]

I wouldn't let kids that age "roam"...I would allow them to come and go to SPECIFIC places for SPECIFIC reasons. Roaming is inviting trouble!

 

I would tell them where I will be, and have them physically check in with me before going to the next place. Tell them where to you find you when they're done with that!

 

Yes...the ship is large, but 90 % is cabin space, so those areas won't be in your "search" areas!

 

I guess this works if you KNOW where YOU will be. I've only been on 3 cruises. But I'm usually wandering around just like he is. In fact, we usually cross paths several times. So this would be hard for me to enforce. Plus it would require that I schedule my whole day and stick to it so that I could check in with him.

 

But I see this method mentioned a lot On here. So, do you actually plan your day in advance? What if you change your mind?

Edited December 15, 2016 by tlatrice

[Llmtax2000]

I know it can be pricy, but I pay for the internet package primarily so that my DD and I can text each other while we're traveling. We've taken many cruises together, and she earned additional freedoms as she aged and as we became more experienced with the ships. Now that she's 15, we typically just have periodic check-ins during the day and evening -- and a curfew. And we always review general safety tips before we board (no visits to others' cabins, etc). And I insist on meeting her new " running buddies" at least once.

 

But the ability to text back and forth has given me a LOT of comfort through the years.

 

 

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[tlatrice]

I understand the intent of this and agree with it. I just urge caution in how you say it because if a child has any safety concerns, they SHOULD immediately contact a crew member to call you. They should understand what it means to be a uniformed crew member (explain that uniforms vary by department and throughout the day and night shifts) and also to have a name badge.

 

 

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He was 13, not 5. Old enough to know the difference between a safety concern and 'something stupid' i.e., the crew having to call me because he tried to sneak into a bar or pulled a fire alarm or was being disrespectful. He understood. 3 cruises and no issues.

[J&Jtravelcouple]

He was 13, not 5. Old enough to know the difference between a safety concern and 'something stupid' i.e., the crew having to call me because he tried to sneak into a bar or pulled a fire alarm or was being disrespectful. He understood. 3 cruises and no issues.

 

 

The comment was not personal to you or your child. I apologize if my use of the word "you" led to that impression. It was meant for the original poster and anyone else looking for advice here. Children may be of different ages and maturity levels. Crew should always be a first resort not a last.

 

 

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[chiguypaul]

What's the going wisdom, folks? What do you all do? I think my girls would appreciate a bit of freedom and I think it would make it more relaxing for everyone if they wanted to go to the pool and we didn't, for instance. I'd love some insight here.

 

Great question. My wife and I had to figure this out for us as well. It definitely depends on the maturity of the kids. For us, we started providing some independence at 9 and then extended at 10. We had specific guidelines such as never going into someone else's room, stay in places where there are others, using the house phones to call for help, etc. We also purchased walkie talkies. I don't feel we need it for our 14 year old, but I do like that the 11 year old has it and he likes having as well and enjoying radioing in.

[ginadv]

Hi All!

 

First off, apologies for my radio silence--totally swamped yesterday and didn't get the chance to check back in here.

 

Thanks to everyone for your thoughtful, helpful replies! I truly appreciate all of you chiming in regarding what you've done in the past.

 

RE. the "contract." I've seen these on CC. Familygoboston shared one in her fabulous Allure review from April 2013. We wouldn't make our girls sign anything, per se, but having a list of guidelines spelled out--including a few that I may not have thought of myself being a first time cruiser--is super helpful. Once we outline the parameters for them I think I'll feel a lot better.

 

RE. the concept of "roaming." To clarify, I did mean something like what cb at sea said--not straight up roaming around but having the freedom to be on their own and meeting up with us at pre-arranged times throughout the course of the day. Mealtimes, shows, shore excursions, etc. will definitely be family time.

 

RE. Adventure Ocean--I will definitely try to get the big girls to go that first night. The 14-year old will balk but maybe having her sister along will help. My 10-year old will be all over it. I doubt I'll let her sign herself out. As I've said, we're first time cruisers and the Small One is a bit of a flibberdegibbit. She's a school/behavior rock star like her sisters, but, as the "baby" she's still too little, in my mind anyway, to fly solo. (Of course the other girls would give me flack about "babying" her if they heard me say that!). That said, I'd totally let her be with her sisters in a three-pack with no problem. And if she makes some buddies in AO who get some free-range time, I'd also be open to letting her hang out in a group with them sans parents from time to time. We'll play that one by ear.

 

RE. methods of communication. Thanks for the insight regarding the usability of walkie talkies on board. With regard to texting, while that's often a fantastic way to keep in touch--and is certainly how we manage at home when my girls walk into our little town with their friends after school and such--I *really* want this to be an "unplugged" vacation. We're all so hard-wired all the time and we all need a bit of a digital detox. So though I know it would totally facilitate inter-family communication on board, I wasn't planning to get the internet package--out of sight out of mind! We'll use the house phones/message system for that, white board or dry erase marker on the mirror in the stateroom, etc.

 

*One question--does RCI have those portable ship phones for rent? I believe Disney has them as a standard amenity but I don't think I've read about them on Royal ships--or else I read that they have a limited number of them available and once they're gone they're gone. Anyone know?

 

Finally, per

...my guess is that you should not be asking strangers what they do.

The only thing I can say to that is "It takes a village!"

 

Hope this thread will assist others as well. I'm delighted to be a part of this welcoming and helpful community.

 

Cheers!

Edited December 15, 2016 by ginadv

[capecruzer]

My rules were simple: buddy system AT ALL TIMES including restrooms! (or maybe especially restrooms). No swimming or hot tubs. No going inside anyone's cabins and no one in ours. Set check-in times, usually every two hours or so. Curfew for the night. My curfew was def earlier than most. I would say at 12 and 14, I would have set curfew at 10:00 or so unless something special was happening in the kids' club. I do recommend they at least try the club, lots of friendships are forged there and there is safety in numbers of course.

 

I don't understand the concept of letting young teens run the ship until all hours. I expected that my kids would be up at breakfast with me (usually by 8am) as a family so we could start our day. And grumpy kids would ruin my vacation. I think what my kids liked best was having dinner by themselves at their leisure and having a few hours freedom at night. This was enough for them.

[mjkacmom]

My rules were simple: buddy system AT ALL TIMES including restrooms! (or maybe especially restrooms). No swimming or hot tubs. No going inside anyone's cabins and no one in ours. Set check-in times, usually every two hours or so. Curfew for the night. My curfew was def earlier than most. I would say at 12 and 14, I would have set curfew at 10:00 or so unless something special was happening in the kids' club. I do recommend they at least try the club, lots of friendships are forged there and there is safety in numbers of course.

 

I don't understand the concept of letting young teens run the ship until all hours. I expected that my kids would be up at breakfast with me (usually by 8am) as a family so we could start our day. And grumpy kids would ruin my vacation. I think what my kids liked best was having dinner by themselves at their leisure and having a few hours freedom at night. This was enough for them.

I don't think my 13 and 15 year olds are ever in bed by 10 on a school night. Sometimes they are not even home! And I'd never wake them up at 8 to go to breakfast - it's their vacation too! My oldest was 17 on our last cruise, and she'd sleep past breakfast. Sometimes I was nice and made her up a plate.

 

Our 5 kids will be between the ages of 14 - 20 on our next one, I suspect DH and I will be the first to turn in.

[mrizer7773]

 

1. Do not let new friends pull you into anything that you know is wrong. Just walk away. You don't have to explain. Just leave. If it involves hurting someone, walk away and GET HELP!

 

2. Stay out of other people's rooms.

 

3. Don't let anyone into OUR room.

 

4. Don't let ships personnel have to call me because you're doing something stupid. It won't end well for you.

 

 

Interestingly...

These are almost the exact same rules my wife goes over with me before every cruise! :D

[Havingfun2010]

Not the same at all.

 

The most dangerous activity for kids involves motor vehicles.

 

The cruise ship lacks those.

 

On the Allure, the captain has a motocycle, and he drives it on deck.

[capecruzer]

I don't think my 13 and 15 year olds are ever in bed by 10 on a school night. Sometimes they are not even home! And I'd never wake them up at 8 to go to breakfast - it's their vacation too!QUOTE]

 

Yes, I realize that is more the norm than what we do in my house/on our family vacations. FWIW, my kids were never allowed out on school nights unless it was a school-sponsored event (sports, etc). As for it being their vacation as well, yes, I agree, but as a family we decide what we'll do each day and it has been rare that "sleep late" is ever on anyone's short list. Each to their own.

 

Please consider that this ship is like a city....you should treat it as such. What would your expectations be if you were staying in a city hotel. Would you allow them to stay out until midnight, would you expect them to check in occasionally? Whatever makes YOU comfortable should be the rule. I'm certainly not okay with spending ANY time on my vacation worrying lol. I'm selfish like that.

[moonltnite]

I was surprised to read the curfew rules on Allure. There were two different curfews noted when I saw someone's Cruise Compasses from a November sailing. One said 1am - the other 2am. In the teen (12 to 17 years) section - it said 1am. In the main pages of the Cruise Compass - it said 2am!

 

I've attached the screen shots from the Cruise Compass. RCCL needs to get its act together and publish 1am in both spots!

 

Call me old fashioned - but I wouldn't want my young teen (12 to 15) out at 1am - and even when my daughter was 17 - there's no way she'd have been allowed to be out until 2am. We allowed later curfews for her for homecoming dances, prom, etc (Prom senior year - they were out all night - and we were among the parents chaperoning their cruise on Lake Michigan that was from about 1am to 5am. Homecomings often they were out until 1am with dinner after the dance.) On regular school nights - we wanted her home by 10 (she had to be up by 6am to get ready for school). On weekends - her curfew was midnight most of the time.

 

She's 27 and a jr. high teacher now. It's funny listening to her talk about being strict with her 12 and 13 year old 7th graders!

[mjkacmom]

I don't think my 13 and 15 year olds are ever in bed by 10 on a school night. Sometimes they are not even home! And I'd never wake them up at 8 to go to breakfast - it's their vacation too!QUOTE]

 

Yes, I realize that is more the norm than what we do in my house/on our family vacations. FWIW, my kids were never allowed out on school nights unless it was a school-sponsored event (sports, etc). As for it being their vacation as well, yes, I agree, but as a family we decide what we'll do each day and it has been rare that "sleep late" is ever on anyone's short list. Each to their own.

 

Please consider that this ship is like a city....you should treat it as such. What would your expectations be if you were staying in a city hotel. Would you allow them to stay out until midnight, would you expect them to check in occasionally? Whatever makes YOU comfortable should be the rule. I'm certainly not okay with spending ANY time on my vacation worrying lol. I'm selfish like that.

My kids aren't out on school nights, my girls have about 2 1/2 hours of dance every night - got home after 10 last night. One plays soccer, the other xc/track, so they are either out at activities, or home doing homework. There is zero free time during the week.

 

It's not the same as a hotel. There are activities going on for teens, they can hang at the club until late, and unlike a hotel, guests are not fee to leave the ship at their will.

 

As for after prom, my kids did what most did, sent away with a group of friends for a long weekend, same as what DH and I did 30 years ago. Regular curfew at that age was usually midnight unless there was a reason for it to be later.

[Cruise a holic]

We allowed our 10 and 12 year old grandchildren to go with each other, on the ship during some periods. However, they had walkie talkies which worked out very well. They are both very responsible children-

Edited December 15, 2016 by Cruise a holic

[Ocean Dancer]

I have NOT read this whole thread, so please bear with me if this has been repeated.

 

We are frequent cruisers on many lines. Some parents feel that THEY are on vacation, so that means their parenting ends when boarding.

 

Your children are running around all night pushing elevator buttons to stop at each floor.

 

Your children are knocking on all the doors, especially the doors that have "Do not disturb" signs.

 

Your children are stealing breakfast menus and putting them elsewhere.

 

Your children are touching each and every roll/ donut and not taking anything.

 

Your children are outside our cabin door at 2am talking quite loudly.

 

Your children are your responsibility and does not stop with vacations.

 

If you take a family vacation with your children, please remember that they are still your children and your responsibility.

 

Thank you.:)

[FLSteve11]

I have NOT read this whole thread, so please bear with me if this has been repeated.

 

We are frequent cruisers on many lines. Some parents feel that THEY are on vacation, so that means their parenting ends when boarding.

 

Your children are running around all night pushing elevator buttons to stop at each floor.

 

Your children are knocking on all the doors, especially the doors that have "Do not disturb" signs.

 

Your children are stealing breakfast menus and putting them elsewhere.

 

Your children are touching each and every roll/ donut and not taking anything.

 

Your children are outside our cabin door at 2am talking quite loudly.

 

Your children are your responsibility and does not stop with vacations.

 

If you take a family vacation with your children, please remember that they are still your children and your responsibility.

 

Thank you.:)

 

Wow, we made it all the way to 3rd page before the self-involved, anti-kid party pooper showed up. That's gotta be a record! :)

[FLSteve11]

We've been letting our 12yo have freedom for about 2 years now. It was restricted quite a bit in the beginning (she could leave us, go get a drink or ice cream, and come back), but loosened up soon enough. Granted she's been on plenty of cruises, knows what you should and should not do, and knows if I catch her doing anything wrong that will be it for that. She has charging privileges, but again knows how to handle it.

 

You'll know your kids, and what they're capable of. I think we short-shift our kids in what they're capable of overall. In days past, and in many parts of the world, kids are out working by the time they hit their teens. If you raise them right, give them direction, give them a set of rules and boundaries, then they will be fine. Stick with the basics as most have said on here (no going in cabins, set a reasonable curfew for what your kids are used to, with a little extra vacation time in it, etc).

[Ocean Dancer]

Wow, we made it all the way to 3rd page before the self-involved, anti-kid party pooper showed up. That's gotta be a record! :)

 

No one who knows me would call me self involved, we have two children and three grandchildren, and are definitely NOT party poopers. Who are you talking about?

 

I'm sure any adult cruiser would agree with me on the above if it's happened to them. The cruise lines are not baby sitters unless they are enrolled in Adventure Ocean etc, and at a certain age they are allowed to leave on their own.

 

We have met many wonderful decent polite kids through the years, it's that bad apple kid who's parents are too busy chair hogging, I guess.;)