Don't Trust Family Members

[AnonomissX]

My nose in your business would have been to get 2 other people to go with you, as you stated you booked one Ocean Suite for 4 people. If you booked only 50 days away from the trip, you wouldn't have got the Early Saver rate, so you should be able to change 2 names, unless you booked the Super Saver or "Pack n Go" rate - no name changes on those rates either. But if you can't get 2 other people to go, how much fun are you going to have in a 275 square ft room with 2 deadbeats for 4 days??

[joeyancho]

Maybe grandma has a couple of lady friends who would like to go. In any case, dump the deadbeats.

[riclop]

Too bad.

[rvmike]

We have a saying in the marine industry, no cash no splash. Simple

[BeagleOne]

Dump them off the booking and get whatever money you can get refunded. Your other choice is to let them go and lose all of the money you've paid, and cruise with two deadbeats.

[stevefrisco]

This is a crappy situation, but my family and friends are worth more than a thousand bucks to me and I would eat the loss and pray for the power to forgive in time to have a good trip. You never know when your last trip with people will be and I think you people are being really short-sighted in saying to cancel.

 

Yeah it sucks that OP may not be reimbursed but I would assume OP knew these folks are relying on just their SSI $$$ and to be honest it probably wasn't fiscally responsible to expect them to have 5-600 wiggle room in their budgets. If this were an expense like camping fees or dinner, I can see an argument for splitting the cost equally, but I wouldn't invite my unemployed cousin on an expensive trip if I weren't going to pay for most of it. Apologies if I missed some fact that indicated these money issues were unknown to OP and his or her grandma. Just my two cents, I hope maybe this is all a big misunderstanding.

[DisneyDatknee]

This is a crappy situation, but my family and friends are worth more than a thousand bucks to me and I would eat the loss and pray for the power to forgive in time to have a good trip. You never know when your last trip with people will be and I think you people are being really short-sighted in saying to cancel.

 

Yeah it sucks that OP may not be reimbursed but I would assume OP knew these folks are relying on just their SSI $$$ and to be honest it probably wasn't fiscally responsible to expect them to have 5-600 wiggle room in their budgets. If this were an expense like camping fees or dinner, I can see an argument for splitting the cost equally, but I wouldn't invite my unemployed cousin on an expensive trip if I weren't going to pay for most of it. Apologies if I missed some fact that indicated these money issues were unknown to OP and his or her grandma. Just my two cents, I hope maybe this is all a big misunderstanding.

 

Good advice. One of them is employed however. The reason they cannot pay is that they have a lot of debt bills as they maxed out all their cards according to my Grandmother.

[meatloafsfan]

Consider this a hard lesson to learn. I now have a strict "no loans for family and friends" policy after being burned a few times. I had a friend that I took to Disney World when I was going for my 35th birthday (my mom had a stroke the year before and was still in rehab and my dad was working but met us down there for a few days - this was supposed to be a solo vacation but since I paid the same for the room for 2 that I would for 1, I said sure and paid for her tickets and food). She ended up charging $400 US to the room for souvenirs and stuff. It took her 8 years to pay it off.

 

And she had the nerve to ask to go on my January cruise (I offered her son - my godson - to go since he just turned 18 and I took his sister on a couple of cruises). She told him that she "deserved it more" and to ask if she could go instead. No way, I learned my lesson.

 

I really hope that you remember this next time (and there will probably be a next time) that these people say, "oh, I'll pay you later.".

 

Hope you and your grandmother have a fabulous time! :cool:

[A&Jfamily]

Good advice. One of them is employed however. The reason they cannot pay is that they have a lot of debt bills as they maxed out all their cards according to my Grandmother.

 

OP - I gotta disagree - I don't think SteveFrisco's advice is good at all. Perhaps he doesn't understand what is going on here - but leopards don't change their spots. And paying someone in any form - not because you want to but because you what them to do something for you, including maintaining a relationship - is either and employer/employee relationship or prostitution, neither of which fit in the definition of family.

 

There are many flags in your posts about these family members from their initial financial choice (to get into so much debt), to incur addition debt to cruise, and now not paying, that should make you take a long hard look about putting any effort into maintaining a relationship. Cancel the cruise for them and watch what happens - you will be the bad guy. Tell's you something, doesn't it?

[bnorris10]

If you do decided to allow them to come please insure that your credit card is tied only to you and grandma's account - Make the others pay their own sail n sign account

[tonit964]

OP - I gotta disagree - I don't think SteveFrisco's advice is good at all. Perhaps he doesn't understand what is going on here - but leopards don't change their spots. And paying someone in any form - not because you want to but because you what them to do something for you, including maintaining a relationship - is either and employer/employee relationship or prostitution, neither of which fit in the definition of family.

 

There are many flags in your posts about these family members from their initial financial choice (to get into so much debt), to incur addition debt to cruise, and now not paying, that should make you take a long hard look about putting any effort into maintaining a relationship. Cancel the cruise for them and watch what happens - you will be the bad guy. Tell's you something, doesn't it?

 

 

I agree with you. Family and friends are everything and it's one thing if they genuinely need help but it's another thing for them to take advantage of you. Then they ignore you when you ask them for what they said they would do, pay you back.

 

It was shocking (well kind of not) how my sister acted when my mom passed. "where's her gold jewelry?" "what are you going to do with this & that". Sickening.

[Strophic]

I also don't agree with SteveFrisco. Good friends are worth an immeasurable amount of money, but no one who takes advantage of you so underhandedly is a good friend or someone worth your time.

[April42749]

I also don't agree with SteveFrisco. Good friends are worth an immeasurable amount of money, but no one who takes advantage of you so underhandedly is a good friend or someone worth your time.

 

Yeah, I agree. BUT...these are not good friends. These are family. And although I think it's awful to be taken advantage of, and it would be awkward to share a cabin....if OP wants family harmony (especially for grandma) I think she should just bite the bullet (as I said earlier....make it a gift) and pay (excluding on board expenses).

 

It seems grandma knew that these people needed "personal financial counseling". I don't know if OP/Grandma asked them to join...or they offered to join. But, if grandma knew their situation...being asked to join on a cruise and knowing you really can't afford it would be humiliating. If they asked to join in...knowing they couldn't pay....that's really low.

[nursepixie]

OP - I gotta disagree - I don't think SteveFrisco's advice is good at all. Perhaps he doesn't understand what is going on here - but leopards don't change their spots. And paying someone in any form - not because you want to but because you what them to do something for you, including maintaining a relationship - is either and employer/employee relationship or prostitution, neither of which fit in the definition of family.

 

 

 

There are many flags in your posts about these family members from their initial financial choice (to get into so much debt), to incur addition debt to cruise, and now not paying, that should make you take a long hard look about putting any effort into maintaining a relationship. Cancel the cruise for them and watch what happens - you will be the bad guy. Tell's you something, doesn't it?

 

 

 

I agree with this. I would still cancel them.

 

 

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[Strophic]

Coming from the perspective of someone with a toxic family...the word "family" doesn't mean much to me. People shouldn't get a free pass to mistreat you just because they share some DNA with you. The most important family is the family you choose, your closest friends and relatives who lift you up and create a positive presence in your life. It is not OP who would be creating friction in the family...it is the people causing the conflict by trying to take advantage that are doing that.

[Smacciemac]

Please keep us updated as to how it turns out

 

 

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[Slacktide]

Drop them and don't look back. Bringing them along is only going to ruin the cruise for you.

[Florings]

YES! Definitely cancel them. They took advantage of you to begin with, but only you can allow them to continue to take advantage. Cancel them and take the hit, then you and your grandma go and have a great time!

[K.T.B.]

Definitely drop them. It's not worth all the aggravation.

[Rogueperson]

Coming from the perspective of someone with a toxic family...the word "family" doesn't mean much to me. People shouldn't get a free pass to mistreat you just because they share some DNA with you. The most important family is the family you choose, your closest friends and relatives who lift you up and create a positive presence in your life. It is not OP who would be creating friction in the family...it is the people causing the conflict by trying to take advantage that are doing that.

 

Bingo. I learned this lesson too. Family does not give them permission to use you like this. Regardless of their financial situation, they should never have committed to going on the cruise with you if they were not financially able. You should cancel them. Also, if you DON'T cancel them, they could try to board even though you've told them they weren't welcome.

[CaptainNappin]

I had something like this happen a few years ago. My cousin and his family agreed to join us for a trip to Disney followed by a B2B relocation cruise. We had it all planned out. We were going to leave from Port Canaveral and end the first leg of the B2B in Portland. The next day there was another relocation leaving Portland headed to Madrid, where we planned on hopping a flight back to Denver. Well, I paid for everyone's flights, hotels, cruise passes.... basically everything. Over the next several months I didn't talk to him much but every time I did it was always the same thing; "We're all so excited! I'm sorry I haven't paid you back yet but I promise I will before we get there!"

 

As it got closer to time to leave I realized that he wasn't going to pay me back.

[sfaaa]

...if OP wants family harmony (especially for grandma) I think she should just bite the bullet (as I said earlier....make it a gift) and pay (excluding on board expenses).

.

 

 

 

What? You know why there is a term called Sucker in this world right?

[CaptainNappin]

What? You know why there is a term called Sucker in this world right?

 

 

Sucker in the world??? Why?

[candigirl41]

I too am waiting to see what you decide. I agree with most others cancel them. If they have maxed out their credit card how will they pay for sail and sign. Cash? If they are that badly in debt they don't have the cash either. I also agree you really want to cancel them or they could show up and be allowed to board. If you don't set up your sail and sign with a credit card before the cruise they will expect them to put cash on their on board account once they board. If they don't have it they will not be purchasing anything and not sure what will happen to the gratuities for them.

 

Candi

[April42749]

What? You know why there is a term called Sucker in this world right?

 

"Sucker" would be appropriate if OP/Grandma told them that they were going on a cruise....and these people asked to join.....if Grandma knew their financial situation.

 

If Grandma knew their finances and asked them to join....then Grandma made the problem. People who overspend will continue to overspend. And asking them to go on a cruise is inviting them to "spend more money they don't have". Just think of OP as "a credit card".

 

 

I don't ask my "less affluent" friends to go to expensive restaurants, unless I am willing to pay the bill.