Changed mind....

[Organized Chaos]

1 hour ago, HerbertandB said:

This is how I feel too.  I wouldn't want someone else deciding when and how I was going to vacation especially if I had limited vacation time.

 

OP has said her kids & grandkids have been begging for a family cruise, so it looks like they've made it clear how they want to spend their vacation time.

 

For those making this argument, don't y'all think that the OP and her husband took these things into consideration when they decided to pay for a cruise for 12 people?

 

We've been in a similar situation with a planned family cruise. The other family cancelled nine months after booking, no warning. We had our kid and their kids sharing a cabin, Early Saver penalties to deal with, all deposits on one credit card. They sat in on the booking with us and were well aware of all the risks of cancelling and the penalties that came with it, yet when they found out they were getting a future cruise credit instead of a refund, they went ballistic, blamed us, and didn't speak to us for months. We have another family cruise currently booked (not them), but this time we wanted no part of doing any of it all-in-one. Everyone for themselves and we're all better off for it.

Edited August 2, 2019 by Organized Chaos

[Pugs&Kisses]

Im sorry you are going though this.

[HerbertandB]

14 minutes ago, Organized Chaos said:

 

OP has said her kids & grandkids have been begging for a family cruise, so it looks like they've made it clear how they want to spend their vacation time.

 

For those making this argument, don't y'all think that the OP and her husband took these things into consideration when they decided to pay for a cruise for 12 people?

 

 

Wanting to go on a family cruise and having a "surprise" family cruise are two different things.  Being told when and where you're going is different than sitting down and planning it together as a family.

 

[lazydayz]

OP,  this is a generous gift.  I have adult daughters and would not spring a surprise cruise on them.  There are too many variables, including they can't get off work, have a medical procedure planned, are celebrating a major milestone with their mate, you get the idea.

 

You have some time before final payment.  My (admittedly unsolicited) advice is to sit down with the adults and make sure they are on board for the cruise.  You are out a little money now, but it could get a lot worse if you don't deal with the other adults now.  Just my two cents, but as someone who has planned several family cruises, the only surprise ones are for the hubby (self-employed novelist who loves cruising as much as I do), and the granddaughters after I have cleared it with their parents and confirmed they are off from school. 

 

Another benefit of telling your adult children now is they can help you plan the cruise and figure out a clever way to present the gift at Christmas. 

 

Best of luck.  All in all, I find family cruises worth the time, effort and expense.  

[bingomamma19]

22 hours ago, 2xsin12mths said:

So my husband and I have been on 20+ cruises and it's our getaway. We LOVE Carnival and have only cruised Carnival. On the last cruise my DH talked me into booking a family cruise, kids and grandkids. It will be the Xmas present for all and they will be very excited. So here's the issue.....I asked daughter #2's BF if he would like to go along. They have been together a long time and he will probably be a SIL eventually. He said yes and was very excited. I told him not to tell anyone, it's a surprise. Daughter #2 calls me today and says he told her and he can't go. He has anxiety issues and decided this is not something he can do. REALLY! Why couldn't he tell me that when I asked?? So, now she knows about the Xmas surprise and I already added him and paid. Final payment is due in 2 weeks. Here's the question.....I have daughter #1 and her husband and 2 kids in a room. If I move one of the grankids to daughter#2's room and cancel boyfriend will I pay a huge cancellation fee before final payment. And yes, this was early saver:( 

I'll ask my TA when she gets back from vaca in 10 days but I'm SO annoyed right now and thought maybe someone had insight. If I eat 1,000 over this I will be beyond annoyed! AND I told hubby this is last family cruise. Too much drama and no one even knows about it yet....it will get worse. Too many personalities with 12 ppl…..sigh!

If the cruise is in May of 2020, final payment would not be due until feb or march.

 

Also, my birthday is in May....I will gladly join your family for my celebration if you need someone to fill in LOL

 

 

[Organized Chaos]

39 minutes ago, HerbertandB said:

Wanting to go on a family cruise and having a "surprise" family cruise are two different things.  Being told when and where you're going is different than sitting down and planning it together as a family.

 

Y'all are making it sound a bit like a hostage situation. The OP knows her family a heck of a lot better than what any of us here can guess. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt that the whole idea isn't as bad to them as some are making it out to be.

[TNcruising02]

36 minutes ago, Organized Chaos said:

 

Y'all are making it sound a bit like a hostage situation. The OP knows her family a heck of a lot better than what any of us here can guess. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt that the whole idea isn't as bad to them as some are making it out to be.

I don't think anyone is giving the OP a hard time about it.  It's more of a heads up that some people have to book vacation days in advance or may have different things going on in their lives that make it difficult to take a specific week off of work that is chosen as a surprise by a family member.  Maybe that's a perspective the OP hasn't thought about.  Maybe she knows every single person can take off that specific week and will be thrilled with the surprise.  But it's always good for people to at least read about other perspectives, especially before they spend a lot of money.

I think a cruise gift would be the best kind of gift and would be thrilled.  However, there are certain weeks during each month that I absolutely could not miss work.  Maybe her family members have schedules that are more flexible.  For the majority of families, a surprise of a cruise on a specific week would be very risky.

[SNJCruisers]

21 hours ago, 2xsin12mths said:

me, hubby and Alchemy from now on

I'll drink to that threesome.....🍸

[gatour]

2xsin12mths,

 

Sounds like you have a couple of issues

 

1.  You are upset about that originally he agreed to the cruise and then he decided that later he was uncomfortable in doing the cruise for personal reasons.

2.  He told your daughter before you which ruined your surprise.

 

Your future SIL is marrying your daughter and not you.

 

I married into a large close extended family, it can be a bit overwhelming in those type of situations

 

There are all kinds of dynamics, but I am a glass half full type of person.  I think he might have originally agreed to the cruise to keep future wife/future MIL happy.  However, no matter what some of the other posts said, not everyone likes to cruise for free or not, for various reasons.  I can talk someones ear off about cruises and how much I like them. But I have friends that I know would not like a cruise, so pull back in talking up cruises with them.

 

Back to your future SIL, after he thought about it a bit he might have realized this might be a bit overwhelming,if he hadn't already met some of the other family members going on the cruise, afraid of the ship sinking, flying, etc.  It could be a combination of the above and perhaps other.

 

At least he told your daughter in plenty of time for you to make adjustments in the booking.

 

It sounds like he is communicating with your daughter which sounds like a good base for a solid marriage.

 

 

[sgttami]

Family Drama.  Been there.

 

I feel your pain.

 

This is why I travel solo...LOL

[cruisequeen4ever]

First of all, you’re awesome to want to take your whole family on a cruise! I’m sorry this boyfriend backed out AND ruined the surprise for your daughter. Since final payment isn’t until after Christmas, I don’t see why you couldn’t wait until then to make any changes and still pull off the surprise for the rest of the family. Who knows; maybe the boyfriend will change his mind between now and Christmas! Worst case, it’d seem you could move your granddaughter into the other room after Christmas if he still is opposed to going. 

 

Hope you guys have an awesome cruise! Hope you blog it!