Burial At Sea

[ElisMum23]

I was wondering if anyone has attended a burial at sea with Carnival? We will be going on the Carnival Paradise to take my mom on her final voyage. The process appears to be simple, just notifying guest services and having the proper paperwork (death certificate, cremation certificate, and certificate stating the urn is biodegradable). Just curious if anyone can give first hand experience about how things went when setting up the time and how the actual event went.

[chengkp75]

I have not done a ceremony personally, and not with Carnival, but when I worked for NCL, the timing is such that the ship is more than 12 miles offshore (typically a sea day), the Environmental Officer will meet with you and escort your party to the aft mooring station.  He is there to ensure that nothing prohibited is thrown overboard (if you get flowers from the ship, they will not have any plastic or metal),  and will leave your party alone to have a private ceremony and drop the urn over the side.  In the next couple of days, you will get a certificate from the Captain listing the lattitude and longitude of the ceremony.

[EngIceDave]

57 minutes ago, chengkp75 said:

In the next couple of days, you will get a certificate from the Captain listing the lattitude and longitude of the ceremony.

That's cool

[BTromboneFrack]

It's a great way to give your family a wonderful vacation.

 

[bish 1]

Last August my sisters and I took my dads ashes on the Sunrise. We were sent directly to Guest Services. They asked us to pick a day and they would  contact us on the time available. We met them down at Guest Services when the time came. The escorted us down to like the first level towards the back of the ship. They stepped back and gave us the time we needed to say goodbye. We threw the urn over, gathered ourselves and then went for a drink. A couple days later they brought us a binder with a picture of the ship and the exact coordinates of where our dad was dropped off. We had waited a year and a half to do this. They were awesome! 

Edited May 16, 2022 by bish 1

[Joe817]

What a touching and respectful burial at sea.!  

[mz-s]

This is how I want my remains returned to the earth. Rather than spend money on a funeral, send my family on a cruise and throw me overboard.

[Knights on the Beach]

We spread my MIL's ashes in 2010 from Carnival Valor.  I contacted Carnival in advance and they said once we were onboard they'd reach out to let us know the date and time to meet at Guest Services.  There were 16 of us and the officer took us (and one other passenger who also had her relative's ashes) down to a lower deck at the back of the ship. She stood back and gave us space and all the time we needed and it was very quiet and respectful. We were somewhere between Cuba and Key West and as soon as her ashes hit the water, dolphins jumped out of the water nearby.  It was an amazing experience and we know she would have loved it.  We didn't receive a certificate or any info from the ship but we have memories to last a lifetime.

[EngIceDave]

Seriously, up until reading this, I didn't care what happened to me and told everyone "cheapest possible"

 

Now I think I will write it up in the will as a pre-paid family trip, all inclusive.

 

 

[KmomChicago]

17 minutes ago, EngIceDave said:

Seriously, up until reading this, I didn't care what happened to me and told everyone "cheapest possible"

 

Now I think I will write it up in the will as a pre-paid family trip, all inclusive.

 

 

Right? My husband has always been Pro-headstone/permanent spot but I am all cremation all the way. What if the whole ocean and every cruise henceforth is your symbolic and literal opportunity to physically visit the deceased? Love it!

[EngIceDave]

My wife has said in reply "Well, where do I go to visit and remember you?"

 

Now you have a map and a spot, mark it in Google maps. Visit anytime you want there in your phone or computer.

[pe4all]

7 minutes ago, EngIceDave said:

My wife has said in reply "Well, where do I go to visit and remember you?"

 

Now you have a map and a spot, mark it in Google maps. Visit anytime you want there in your phone or computer.

This may sound morbid - but 22 years ago my dad was cremated and his ashes disposed of (legally - paid to do it - have certificate with lat/longitude) miles off Jones Beach, NY.    He was a high school biology teacher, and that was his wish.  Now, whenever we go on a cruise one of my (now adult) kids points at the ocean and says "there goes grandpa!"

[KmomChicago]

3 minutes ago, pe4all said:

This may sound morbid - but 22 years ago my dad was cremated and his ashes disposed of (legally - paid to do it - have certificate with lat/longitude) miles off Jones Beach, NY.    He was a high school biology teacher, and that was his wish.  Now, whenever we go on a cruise one of my (now adult) kids points at the ocean and says "there goes grandpa!"

 

Well, the whole topic is, unavoidably, morbid. And yet it is also an unassailable fact of the life we all lead and the journey that will one day end for all of us. 

 

I have known many people offended, irritated, or horrified by those who can and who thus choose to  face and discuss it with logic and various forms of positivity (humor, inspiration, faith, acceptance, etc.) and others who feel it's absolutely necessary to face and discuss it with logic and various forms of positivity.

 

We here on this thread seem to be in the second group but sure, it's entirely possible some CC readers are turned off by the name of the thread itself. Scroll on, nothing to see here. 

[EngIceDave]

I think this is edumacashonal 

[Earthworm Jim]

2 hours ago, EngIceDave said:

My wife has said in reply "Well, where do I go to visit and remember you?"

 

Now you have a map and a spot, mark it in Google maps. Visit anytime you want there in your phone or computer.

 

I can see both sides. In the short term, it may be of benefit to the bereaved survivors of the deceased to have a place to go and grieve. In the long term though, once the immediate family who remember and loved the deceased are gone, who is going to visit the grave anyway? And grave sites are costly and take up a lot of space when you account for the number of people that die each year.

 

Even in the medium term, after the first couple of years I imagine visits to grave sites drop dramatically as the surviving loved ones come to grips with their loss.

[oyme]

12 hours ago, mz-s said:

This is how I want my remains returned to the earth. Rather than spend money on a funeral, send my family on a cruise and throw me overboard.

 

YES, for sure. I told my husband I want a wake and nothing fancy. But this would be perfect! Spend that money on a cruise, definitely!

[mz-s]

18 minutes ago, oyme said:

 

YES, for sure. I told my husband I want a wake and nothing fancy. But this would be perfect! Spend that money on a cruise, definitely!

However as is often said, funerals are for the living. Not the dead.

[EngIceDave]

56 minutes ago, mz-s said:

However as is often said, funerals are for the living. Not the dead.

So live it up!

[Knights on the Beach]

5 hours ago, EngIceDave said:

Seriously, up until reading this, I didn't care what happened to me and told everyone "cheapest possible"

 

Now I think I will write it up in the will as a pre-paid family trip, all inclusive.

 

 

 

This is pretty much what happened in our case even though she didn't specifically have it in her will. My MIL loved cruising and she told us that's what she wanted. We also had a private party in a lounge in her honor, arranged by Carnival. This was in 2010 and I just looked up the info - it was unbelievably reasonable.  We had an open bar with "dry snacks" and our own bar waiter for two hours for just the 16 of us. The cost was $17 per person and required a minimum of 20 people, so we paid for 20 people - it was so worth it and she would have loved it. (Remember, this is way before Cheers. lol)

 

2 hours ago, mz-s said:

However as is often said, funerals are for the living. Not the dead.

 

We had a memorial service for my MIL on land right after she passed. But honestly? She would have hated it. But the cruise we took in her honor (Thanksgiving week) a few months later? She couldn't have planned it better herself, she would have loved it. And it was very much for us as well.

[Megan_Strick]

17 hours ago, bish 1 said:

Last August my sisters and I took my dads ashes on the Sunrise. We were sent directly to Guest Services. They asked us to pick a day and they would  contact us on the time available. We met them down at Guest Services when the time came. The escorted us down to like the first level towards the back of the ship. They stepped back and gave us the time we needed to say goodbye. We threw the urn over, gathered ourselves and then went for a drink. A couple days later they brought us a binder with a picture of the ship and the exact coordinates of where our dad was dropped off. We had waited a year and a half to do this. They were awesome! 

I love that. This is what I want! My hubby and I (I'm 44 and he's 49) planned and paid for our funerals a few months ago. We are both going to be cremated. After burying both of my parents I have determined that funerals are a money racket and I didn't want it. I wanted to control how it happened. I have already told both of my kids that I want them to take my life insurance and go on a cruise. That is our favorite thing to do together and that's what I want their last memory of me to be.

[EngIceDave]

1 hour ago, sthrnbll said:

I love that. This is what I want! My hubby and I (I'm 44 and he's 49) planned and paid for our funerals a few months ago. We are both going to be cremated. After burying both of my parents I have determined that funerals are a money racket and I didn't want it. I wanted to control how it happened. I have already told both of my kids that I want them to take my life insurance and go on a cruise. That is our favorite thing to do together and that's what I want their last memory of me to be.

Have stressed it many times, the two greatest wastes of money is wedding and funerals.

 

Weddings is an excuse for everyone to get trashed on some poor young couple's dime. As a father, I'd rather contribute to the down payment on your first home than a wedding. One is gone in a moment, the other as a value that can grow as your marriage and family grows.

 

Funerals? I'm dead, don't care. Want a party, great, have fun, get drunk and talk sh!t about me! But don't waste real estate or money...just put me on the grill extra cripsky and then....well, was "whatever," now it's a family trip and toss me to the fishes, hopefully someone on an Eastern Caribbean cruise, maybe off Aruba....God, please no, not a Western cruise

[TrinaLC]

We were cruising on one of the old carnival fascination class ships, and a woman walked to the back of the serenity deck, knelt briefly seemingly in prayer, opened a container and attempted to throw ashes into the sea. But of course, the wind took them, and they blew right back on deck, scattering them everywhere.
 

Not a pretty sight.  It was probably a pet though the volume wasn’t as great 🙂
 

(The “official” way is obviously the way to do it!) 

Edited May 16, 2022 by TrinaLC

[ElisMum23]

Thank you all for your kind words. It was my mother's wish to go on one final carnival cruise and be left in the Caribbean. So that is what we are doing. She loved cruising and the beautiful waters. Someone mentioned about not having a place to go visit by doing burial at sea. I have struggled with this myself. What we have decided to do is keep a small bit of remains in the urn she came home in, and place it in a niche wall at the cemetery. I didn't know what to do with the urn since we will place her in a biodegradable one for burial at sea, so this helps that problem as well. The cost is very small compared to what a regular burial would be by purchasing a spot on the wall. It also gives me and my children a physical place to go locally to pay our respects. I was surprised how common it is these days for people to have a burial at sea (properly) through carnival. Back in 2015, it was reported that they had done over 200 that year. I can only imagine that the number has gone up since then. I had found a couple dollars in my mom's wallet that I will take to take a couple spins on a slot machine for her in the casino, and also found her bingo dabber and will play a special game in her honor. My mom always said to not be sad when she is gone. That of course it hard to do, but sending her off in a beautiful way while also having fun remembering all the things she loved while cruising (such has chocolate melting cake) will put a smile on our faces. I'm thankful that the cruise lines give an opportunity to do this. 

[oyme]

23 hours ago, mz-s said:

However as is often said, funerals are for the living. Not the dead.

I almost put that in my post, myself. I totally agree. My family doesn't really like funerals anyways, so it's fine for us. I don't want them to feel pressured into societal norms. I think it's best to share your wishes but at the end of the day it's up to them.

[oyme]

14 hours ago, MalteseFred said:

 

I always wondered why in the 21st century they still call it a wake! (Pun intended since we are talking cruises here!) 😅

In this day & age, are the dead occasionally still expected to wake up, as what would occasionally happen in the past? lol

 

Fred.

 

That's deep, you're overthinking it, lol. "a wake is a more informal time for visitation and remembrance of the dead, whereas a funeral typically contains structured rituals and is often religious in nature."