What do you find hardest about cruising solo?

[irvington]

I travel a lot for work by myself and basically enjoy it, but for me it is a bit of a respite from working where I need to be "on" for others all the time.

 

That said, I'm trying to psych myself up for a solo cruise, and I think I'm mostly worried about the dining. What do most of you do while you eat? I usually cruise lines that seat people with their own party, not strangers. Honestly, I'd rather not be foisted on someone but I don't want to eat in the buffet the whole time. On my business trips, I usually eat at more casual sit down restaurants where I don't feel wrid being on my phone or looking at a book or work papers. But that seems a bit gauche for the fancy restaurants on Celebrity and HAL (where I've usually cruised).

 

I don't have a problem having a drink or watching a show or live music by myself, but I feel really shy about the dining.

 

I don't know if this makes any difference, but I'm looking at cruises in Europe and Asia that will be pretty port-intensive.

[Honolulu Blue]

8 hours ago, irvington said:

I travel a lot for work by myself and basically enjoy it, but for me it is a bit of a respite from working where I need to be "on" for others all the time.

 

That said, I'm trying to psych myself up for a solo cruise, and I think I'm mostly worried about the dining. What do most of you do while you eat? I usually cruise lines that seat people with their own party, not strangers. Honestly, I'd rather not be foisted on someone but I don't want to eat in the buffet the whole time. On my business trips, I usually eat at more casual sit down restaurants where I don't feel wrid being on my phone or looking at a book or work papers. But that seems a bit gauche for the fancy restaurants on Celebrity and HAL (where I've usually cruised).

 

I don't have a problem having a drink or watching a show or live music by myself, but I feel really shy about the dining.

 

I don't know if this makes any difference, but I'm looking at cruises in Europe and Asia that will be pretty port-intensive.

I've done a bunch of solo cruises on several different cruise lines.  I've never worried about dining on any of them.  Of course, my relationship with food and the dining experience is a little different than most people - when I eat in the MDR (not often), I can ask to be seated alone and usually get what I ask for.  If that's not possible, it's not a huge deal; I'll deal with whomever wants to talk to me (while secretly hoping they don't want to talk to me).  The buffet is where I like to hang out for meals for this reason and some others. 

 

I've found through experience that it's OK to do what you want when cruising solo - including dining.  If you want to whip out your electronic toys during a meal, I say it's OK not to worry about what the other people at the table think.  You're probably not going to see them again (unless you chose fixed dining, and you don't sound like a fixed dining kind of person - though I could be wrong).  

[irvington]

5 hours ago, Honolulu Blue said:

I've done a bunch of solo cruises on several different cruise lines.  I've never worried about dining on any of them.  Of course, my relationship with food and the dining experience is a little different than most people - when I eat in the MDR (not often), I can ask to be seated alone and usually get what I ask for.  If that's not possible, it's not a huge deal; I'll deal with whomever wants to talk to me (while secretly hoping they don't want to talk to me).  The buffet is where I like to hang out for meals for this reason and some others. 

 

I've found through experience that it's OK to do what you want when cruising solo - including dining.  If you want to whip out your electronic toys during a meal, I say it's OK not to worry about what the other people at the table think.  You're probably not going to see them again (unless you chose fixed dining, and you don't sound like a fixed dining kind of person - though I could be wrong).  

Thanks, I wouldn't take out my phone sitting with other people! I just am more of a "nice dining" person (less buffet) but I am not sure what to do with myself if it turns into a long meal and I'm sitting there by myself. If it is okay in the MDR to look at my phone I would just do that. On the last two cruises I was on I didn't see people seated with anyone other than their traveling companions, but maybe there still is some of that if you ask.

[Honolulu Blue]

53 minutes ago, irvington said:

Thanks, I wouldn't take out my phone sitting with other people! I just am more of a "nice dining" person (less buffet) but I am not sure what to do with myself if it turns into a long meal and I'm sitting there by myself. If it is okay in the MDR to look at my phone I would just do that. On the last two cruises I was on I didn't see people seated with anyone other than their traveling companions, but maybe there still is some of that if you ask.

Two points:

 

1. You can certainly use your phone in the MDR if you like.  Your waiters will have seen far worse.  Do try to pay attention and make sure you're off the phone or wrapping up as they come along to serve you.
2. I almost forgot about the pandemic protocols where sitting with other parties was discouraged.  I think, on most cruise lines, that's going away, and you can ask to sit with others and get to do that if that's what you want to do.

[Melsyboo14]

I'm a bit worried about this as well. I have my first solo cruise coming up and I do enjoy the main dining room. I would prefer to sit with others just for the conversation, but do they put you at tables that know "others" may also be joining them? I would hope they wouldn't put me with a family that thought the table was just theirs!

[rkacruiser]

3 hours ago, Melsyboo14 said:

I would hope they wouldn't put me with a family that thought the table was just theirs!

 

Star Princess, I was seated with a family of 5.  How is this going to go, I wondered, that first night.  It went exceedingly well and the children were all teens or just pre-teens.  They finished their dinner quickly; departed; and Mon and Dad had plenty of time to enjoy our dinners and our conversation.  

 

19 hours ago, irvington said:

What do most of you do while you eat?

 

If I am seated alone or at a larger table and my tablemates did not appear that evening, I people watch.  I watch the servers.  I watch my fellow guests.  Much entertainment can be obtained during such times.  I focus on my dining experience without being distracted by the conversations occurring at my table.  If possible, I would try to converse with my dining stewards.  

 

I do not read,  I wouldn't have a phone with me.  (It would be locked in my stateroom's safe where it belongs during a cruise, in my opinion.)  

[rkacruiser]

On 9/18/2022 at 8:52 AM, FenixRising said:

but in the MDR I have hoards of people staring at me.

 

Why do you feel that others are staring at you?  If anyone is doing something like that--and this has happened--and, I notice it, I return the stare.  The stare stops.  (If I am in my tux, I might think that they are thinking how nicely dressed I am.  And, I have had fellow guests, dressed formally and not, say that.)  

[oakridger]

When I sit by myself in the MDR I people watch a little and I bring a book or Kindle to read.  I have learned that very few people are really interested in looking at me, they are busy with their own dinner and companions!  I love cruising solo and I have also met some really interesting and fun people on board.

 

~Nancy

[Honolulu Blue]

16 hours ago, Melsyboo14 said:

I'm a bit worried about this as well. I have my first solo cruise coming up and I do enjoy the main dining room. I would prefer to sit with others just for the conversation, but do they put you at tables that know "others" may also be joining them? I would hope they wouldn't put me with a family that thought the table was just theirs!

From what I've heard, the cruise lines do a good job at putting solos at tables where their presence is actively desired - or at least somewhat expected.  That's part of the reason you might have to wait for a seat.

[cruisemom42]

6 hours ago, Honolulu Blue said:

From what I've heard, the cruise lines do a good job at putting solos at tables where their presence is actively desired - or at least somewhat expected.  That's part of the reason you might have to wait for a seat.

 

Since many of the comments have mentioned anxiety or concern about dining, I just wanted to share my experiences. I've traveled solo for quite a while -- on business trips, land trips and cruises. After a while you stop feeling self-conscious about dining alone. In today's society, no one really gives you more than a passing glance if you're dining by yourself. Solos travel everywhere and do everything -- we're not expected to hide ourselves away.  And most people are wrapped up in their own vacation -- they're talking to their own group around their table, thinking about what they did today and what they'll do tomorrow. I seriously doubt you'll find anyone starting at you unless you have three heads!

 

I'm not super extroverted. I like having a choice of what to do at dinner, which makes cruises nice. I generally take whatever the "open seating" equivalent is on a particular cruise line. Almost all lines I've been on (the exception seems to be NCL) will ask you when you approach the MDR if you care to share a table with others or dine alone -- totally YOUR choice. And if they seat you with others, it will be with others who have also indicated they are willing to share.

 

Sometimes I join. Sometimes I ask for a table on my own and bring my Kindle (less frequently but there are days when I'm tired out from a long excursion or day in port).  I don't like eating in the buffet for dinner unless I am on one of the lines that has a pleasant outdoor dining area -- it can be fun to sit there sometimes, especially if dinner time coincides with the ship's departure from port when there is a lot to watch.

 

I also don't hesitate to eat in the specialties by myself. Murano on Celebrity is a good example of a "nice" restaurant, and kudos to them because I have always been treated well there as a solo.  Often I am placed at a nice table against the wall (unobstrusive) but with a good vantage point to watch others. Sometimes I just enjoy my meal and people watch, but if I get bored, my Kindle is generally in my purse. I have never, ever been made to feel uncomfortable, stared out, or singled out in any way.

 

So I think a lot of the obstacles are in one's mind, really. Don't get hung up on what you think others may be thinking. They're probably thinking "My shoes hurt." or "I can't decide which dessert to have." 

 

 

[Melsyboo14]

2 hours ago, cruisemom42 said:

 

Since many of the comments have mentioned anxiety or concern about dining, I just wanted to share my experiences. I've traveled solo for quite a while -- on business trips, land trips and cruises. After a while you stop feeling self-conscious about dining alone. In today's society, no one really gives you more than a passing glance if you're dining by yourself. Solos travel everywhere and do everything -- we're not expected to hide ourselves away.  And most people are wrapped up in their own vacation -- they're talking to their own group around their table, thinking about what they did today and what they'll do tomorrow. I seriously doubt you'll find anyone starting at you unless you have three heads!

 

I'm not super extroverted. I like having a choice of what to do at dinner, which makes cruises nice. I generally take whatever the "open seating" equivalent is on a particular cruise line. Almost all lines I've been on (the exception seems to be NCL) will ask you when you approach the MDR if you care to share a table with others or dine alone -- totally YOUR choice. And if they seat you with others, it will be with others who have also indicated they are willing to share.

 

Sometimes I join. Sometimes I ask for a table on my own and bring my Kindle (less frequently but there are days when I'm tired out from a long excursion or day in port).  I don't like eating in the buffet for dinner unless I am on one of the lines that has a pleasant outdoor dining area -- it can be fun to sit there sometimes, especially if dinner time coincides with the ship's departure from port when there is a lot to watch.

 

I also don't hesitate to eat in the specialties by myself. Murano on Celebrity is a good example of a "nice" restaurant, and kudos to them because I have always been treated well there as a solo.  Often I am placed at a nice table against the wall (unobstrusive) but with a good vantage point to watch others. Sometimes I just enjoy my meal and people watch, but if I get bored, my Kindle is generally in my purse. I have never, ever been made to feel uncomfortable, stared out, or singled out in any way.

 

So I think a lot of the obstacles are in one's mind, really. Don't get hung up on what you think others may be thinking. They're probably thinking "My shoes hurt." or "I can't decide which dessert to have." 

 

 

Thank you for this..It is so true..It's mostly in my head..I have vacationed alone and eaten out alone, but never on a cruise, so really I shouldn't be too worried about it. I think on a cruise I wouldn't mind at all sitting with others, and am relieved to know they would expect others to join their table since they opted for that. 

[grobma]

I can understand that for people unaccustomed to eating alone in a restaurant, it can be a new and potentially anxiety-provoking experience. Especially if it's because one lost a partner with whom they were used to dining and traveling.

I find it interesting that it seems to be more acceptable to eat alone at breakfast - or even lunch - as so many couples and travel partners may have different sleep or activity schedules. My last two cruises I went with my daughter. I am an early riser and she is not, so most mornings I found myself eating breakfast on my own, and there were others doing the same, likely for the same reason. But people's expectations around dinner seem to be different.

I traveled for business for many years and spent many nights dining alone. It never bothered me as I enjoyed the quiet, watching others, and taking in what was going on around me. Or reading. It's certainly better than sitting alone in a hotel room with room service. If I felt like conversing, I would take my dinner at the bar where even if there were no others sitting there, I at least had the bartender with whom to chat. I still sometimes travel alone and don't mind it.

That being said, a cruise is different for many reasons and I can understand the trepidation. My upcoming cruise will be my first as a solo cruiser and I'm looking forward to socializing and meeting people (I'm fairly outgoing and approachable), and if I find dinner partners or am seated with others - great. If not, I will be happy too. I'm there to relax, and relax I shall. If others give me the side-eye (which I'm told may likely happen), I realize that it will be because of their own discomfort with the notion of being alone. Not mine.

I hope everyone here finds what they're looking for when they cruise solo - and comfortably!!

[bluetardis]

As a long time solo cruiser; dining alone is great. I can take my time and have after dinner coffee. I have often made friends with people sitting next to me at other small tables. If you are anxious, bring a book or iPad. I enjoy people watching and seeing the sunset as I eat( I ask for a table by the window) . I also go to the single meet and greet, set up by the cruise the first night. Sometimes this is hit or miss, but can be a lot of fun. Solo cruising doesn’t have to be lonely or boring. One solo cruise I was on, all the alone travelers got together each night and had drinks and talked about their day. Some of the group would break off for dinner together or activities. It was great as you alone time and the coming together of like minded travelers.

[ScubaCruiserC]

Hardest on ship is not having someone to “guard” my chair, table, drink and/or food while I return to buffet or need to exchange towels or go to washroom.  Hardest while visiting port is not being able to sample more local food and drink as I hate having to throw food away.  

[Cruise Kay]

On 9/18/2022 at 9:45 PM, irvington said:

I travel a lot for work by myself and basically enjoy it, but for me it is a bit of a respite from working where I need to be "on" for others all the time.

 

That said, I'm trying to psych myself up for a solo cruise, and I think I'm mostly worried about the dining. What do most of you do while you eat? I usually cruise lines that seat people with their own party, not strangers. Honestly, I'd rather not be foisted on someone but I don't want to eat in the buffet the whole time. On my business trips, I usually eat at more casual sit down restaurants where I don't feel wrid being on my phone or looking at a book or work papers. But that seems a bit gauche for the fancy restaurants on Celebrity and HAL (where I've usually cruised).

 

I don't have a problem having a drink or watching a show or live music by myself, but I feel really shy about the dining.

 

I don't know if this makes any difference, but I'm looking at cruises in Europe and Asia that will be pretty port-intensive.

I just got back from two b2b European cruises, solo. For both cruises, I was seated with other solo travelers at dinner. The first week, we all clicked, conversation was easy and fun, and it was something to look forward to—to hear what everyone did with their day,  particularly the port adventures, as we all did different excursions. We shared details and photos and it was fun to hear information about the places I missed.
Second cruise, the new group didn’t click as well and dinner could be a bit awkward. 
So, you never know. I would go into it hopeful for good tablemates. With so many solo travelers out there, it’s unlikely we’ll be seated as the odd person out at a table full of families. (I had that fear, too—of being foisted on a group or couple.)

[SargassoPirate]

I cruise solo most of the time since She Who Must Be Obeyed doesn't enjoy it as much as I do.  I'm an early riser, SWMBO is not, and I enjoy being able to get up and turn on the cabin lights to get dressed. The biggest thing I like is every move does not require a committee decision. I enjoy being able to do what I want, when I want,  I can eat when and where I want.  I don't get dragged to overamplified production shows for fear SWMBO is going to miss something.  I don't feel compelled to disembark at every port.  

 

Importantly, one can be alone without being lonely.  A smile and or a raised glass by way of greeting often starts a conversation.  Seeing the same folks up early with coffee to watch the sunrise can spark a conversation as well.

 

The cost?  When SWMBO cruises a balcony is a must since it serves as her own quiet sanctuary with tea and coffee service from her cabin boy.  When I cruise solo I book an inside since I only use the cabin to shower and sleep.  So, the bottom line impact on the checkbook is less and I pay less for excursions because I don't do many - unless it's a new port.

 

 

[MWarren3549]

On 8/26/2022 at 4:02 AM, calliopecruiser said:

Eating alone in a "fancy" dining room -- I don't like it on land, either.  I don't mind a more casual restaurant, because I don't feel uncomfortable with a book or my phone during a meal in that setting, but in a more formal environment I feel uncomfortable reading my phone or a book.  It seems to get in the way of the fancy table setting or the serving by the staff or something.

Ask to be seated at a table with others.  People tell the MD they are happy to share their table. Whether it’s for a solo cruiser or people in a hurry to get to a show.  

[Nemanoxer]

It can be a bit lonely for sure. But that can also be a good thing.

 

MDR may be somewhat critical because waiters tend to think you want to sit alone. However, you can ask staff to be seated with others at the beginning of the cruise.

[Pami1968]

As a solo cruiser, I agree with most of the challenges already mentioned here, so I won't pile on.

I do, however, have a tip for sailing solo (and it is a tip I use mostly when I am eating alone - I even do the specialty dining alone).  I do bring my kindle with me, in case I am bored.  I do like people watching, so that's usually fun.  Being seated with other solos is usually enjoyable.

But sometimes, you are just by yourself and it is easy to think others are staring at you wondering what is wrong that you are alone.

 

When I feel that happens (and I'm feeling a little humorous), I slip into acting mode.  No one knows who I am, so I adopt the "I'm someone famous, and dining alone is a wonderful break from the paparazzi" persona.  I'm cheerful and outgoing with the wait staff, laughing and chatting with them.  That way I feel people end up looking at me thinking "Wow, she must be a regular cruiser here - look at how the staff spends extra time and lavishes her with attention.  Who IS she?!"

One cruise I ended up having the steakhouse staff rotate out as my dining companions, sitting in the other seat from time to time.  It was a really fun time!

[rkacruiser]

1 hour ago, Pami1968 said:

But sometimes, you are just by yourself and it is easy to think others are staring at you wondering what is wrong that you are alone.

 

If I feel someone(s) are staring at me, I return that prolonged staring.  That solves the "issue" very quickly.  

 

1 hour ago, Pami1968 said:

When I feel that happens (and I'm feeling a little humorous), I slip into acting mode.  No one knows who I am, so I adopt the "I'm someone famous, and dining alone is a wonderful break from the paparazzi" persona.  I'm cheerful and outgoing with the wait staff, laughing and chatting with them.  That way I feel people end up looking at me thinking "Wow, she must be a regular cruiser here - look at how the staff spends extra time and lavishes her with attention.  Who IS she?!"

 

Very funny!  I like your sense of humor.  

[IslandThyme]

I think there's a difference between "cruising solo by choice" and "cruising solo by circumstance." My first solo cruise after my husband's death was an 89 day trip. I'm not naturally gregarious and I was lonely a lot, although I would rate my overall experience on that voyage as fabulous. For me too, dinner, in the MDR or specialty restaurant, was the hardest part of the day. 

 

I always took my Kindle to dinner, and very often sat alone and read. I did have a favorite server and always asked to be seated in his section. He made my dinners so much more pleasant with his friendliness and compassion.

 

On my second solo trip I got a message halfway through that my house had flooded with sewage. I had to arrange to get off the ship 11 days early and get home (from Auckland) and deal with it all. That was definitely hard, especially since my house remained uninhabitable for 10 weeks after my return.

 

I have a WC coming up in 2024, and I wonder whether the pandemic, during which I have spent nearly three years in virtual isolation, will have made solo cruising easier. I will confess that I hope to find a friendly group, maybe on my rollcall, with whom to share the experience.

Edited October 24, 2022 by IslandThyme

[rkacruiser]

17 hours ago, IslandThyme said:

I will confess that I hope to find a friendly group, maybe on my rollcall, with whom to share the experience.

 

Be an active participant in the Roll Call for your cruise.  Since it will be a world cruise, there should be much chatter about plans, issues, questions, etc.  Best wishes to you for a great cruise experience.  

[RedgeToo]

On 10/23/2022 at 8:15 PM, Pami1968 said:

it is easy to think others are staring at you wondering what is wrong that you are alone.

Great post

 

The truth is most people are too caught up in their own world to give anyone else a second glance

[RedgeToo]

On 10/24/2022 at 2:16 AM, IslandThyme said:

I think there's a difference between "cruising solo by choice" and "cruising solo by circumstance." My first solo cruise after my husband's death was an 89 day trip. I'm not naturally gregarious and I was lonely a lot, although I would rate my overall experience on that voyage as fabulous. For me too, dinner, in the MDR or specialty restaurant, was the hardest part of the day. 

 

I always took my Kindle to dinner, and very often sat alone and read. I did have a favorite server and always asked to be seated in his section. He made my dinners so much more pleasant with his friendliness and compassion.

 

On my second solo trip I got a message halfway through that my house had flooded with sewage. I had to arrange to get off the ship 11 days early and get home (from Auckland) and deal with it all. That was definitely hard, especially since my house remained uninhabitable for 10 weeks after my return.

 

I have a WC coming up in 2024, and I wonder whether the pandemic, during which I have spent nearly three years in virtual isolation, will have made solo cruising easier. I will confess that I hope to find a friendly group, maybe on my rollcall, with whom to share the experience.

 

My heart goes out to you, IslandTime.

 

Clearly, it's not for me to tell you how to live your life but if you can pluck up the courage to go to a singles meet up, if available, I think you will find at least one person who you "get" and who "gets" you. Or join a "happy to share" table.

 

I will also sit at a bar or, if a venue is full, I will ask people if the chair next to them is taken - it's a good conversation starter

[LouisV]

On 10/23/2022 at 2:05 PM, rkacruiser said:

 

If I feel someone(s) are staring at me, I return that prolonged staring.  That solves the "issue" very quickly.  

 

 

Very funny!  I like your sense of humor.  

 

Edited November 20, 2022 by LouisV
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