All your P&O dress code comments and queries.

[majortom10]

11 hours ago, Woolmull said:

Can anyone confirm the dress code for the Epicurean for afternoon tea? Smart shorts or long trousers? TIA. 

Personally would not wear shorts but that is a personal choice.

[9265359]

On 6/30/2024 at 11:37 AM, daz1107 said:

I genuinely don't know why people are upset by what other people are wearing, especially if they look smart. 

I'm a polo shirt and trousers sort of guy; smart ones which I wear for my private golf course. My theory is if it's smart enough for there, it'll do me! 

 

Because your view on what is smart may be at odds with what everyone else's view might be.

 

A few years back I was on an NCL ship and dining in the French speciality restaurant which was marketed as a sophisticated evening's dining.

 

On one of the other tables was a man wearing a 'wife beater' vest, baseball cap, and ripped jeans, and I am sure that he thought what he was wearing was smart enough for him and it met NCL's minimal dress code.

 

Would you be happy with someone turning up to play a round of golf at your private club dressed like that and then have a few beers in the bar afterwards? And if not why not.

[daz1107]

If you read my post, I said that I was a polo shirt and trousers guy. I never mentioned caps, vest etc. 

A couple of guys came into our clubhouse wearing jeans, which are not permitted. Did I get upset? No, because they sat quietly enjoying their drinks. Would you rather have someone in a suit and acting loudly and obnoxious, or someone in polo shirt etc, sitting quietly enjoying a meal? 

[snaefell]

Because we are all different we will have different opinions of what is or isn't smart,I totally agree that the behaviour of others is far more important,whether it is on a cruise ship,in a restaurant,golf club or whatever I really do not take notice of or care what other people are wearing.

I care more about feeling that I should be wearing something I do not feel comfortable in.

[Palaceman]

3 hours ago, daz1107 said:

If you read my post, I said that I was a polo shirt and trousers guy. I never mentioned caps, vest etc. 

A couple of guys came into our clubhouse wearing jeans, which are not permitted. Did I get upset? No, because they sat quietly enjoying their drinks. Would you rather have someone in a suit and acting loudly and obnoxious, or someone in polo shirt etc, sitting quietly enjoying a meal? 

If that happened at my golf club I would expect a senior member of staff to ask them to leave as they were not adhering to the dress code.

[daz1107]

23 minutes ago, snaefell said:

Because we are all different we will have different opinions of what is or isn't smart,I totally agree that the behaviour of others is far more important,whether it is on a cruise ship,in a restaurant,golf club or whatever I really do not take notice of or care what other people are wearing.

I care more about feeling that I should be wearing something I do not feel comfortable in.

Well said, I totally agree with you! I suppose we could always buy an Asda suit, get blind drunk and behave like idiots.  At least we would look like 'smartly dressed' imbeciles 😁

[daz1107]

21 minutes ago, Palaceman said:

If that happened at my golf club I would expect a senior member of staff to ask them to leave as they were not adhering to the dress code.

If it had been for an event, I think someone would have had a quiet word, but they were not causing any issues so it really didn't matter. 

Personally, I'm not bothered and this year our club is relaxing it's strict dress code, to try and attract younger members. Without 'new blood', the club will not survive into the future, which is exactly what cruise lines should be looking at. 

[mrshorsy]

On 9/2/2024 at 8:20 PM, daz1107 said:

If it had been for an event, I think someone would have had a quiet word, but they were not causing any issues so it really didn't matter. 

Personally, I'm not bothered and this year our club is relaxing it's strict dress code, to try and attract younger members. Without 'new blood', the club will not survive into the future, which is exactly what cruise lines should be looking at. 

Yes, I am totally with you on this ! I have sat next to many "smartly dressed" people who are adhering to all the codes of dress but not of the actual codes of behavior! We have only done P&O once and the formal nights really put us off. The only reason we have chose to test the waters again at New Year is that the formal night is one of the days we dock overnight so we can get off and do our thing. The other will probably find us in the Glasshouse. We wont be in wife beaters and ripped jeans but for us (well the other half really as dress code for women is far more relaxed) getting dressed up in a suit for a formal dinner is way too much like work.

I think it would be good if P&O could strike a better balance so that those who love to dress up still can. I also wonder how many would be bother if it was totally optional?

[TigerB]

25 minutes ago, Bill Shutter said:

I never have conformed to this. Other than not going for the set meal its makes no difference. Dress how you like and eat in the buffet or room service on Formal nights. For me formal nights are just an excuse for the fake people to appear even more fake.

 

I worked thirty years in a job where, for the last twenty-two years, I was in a role that required me to wear a suit. As it happens, I wore a three-piece suit for most of that period because I liked to do so. After working from home for sixteen months during Covid, when I returned to the same role I wore trousers and a smart shirt, but no tie. The main reason was because my work suits had shrunk in the wardrobe during Covid and I wasn't going to buy new ones, with just a year to retirement. Furthermore, the dress code had relaxed a little. That said, I always had a tie in my desk drawer just incase I had to have a meeting with a (big) boss. That never happened but, if it did, would that make me fake in your eyes?

 

 

[Palaceman]

I started wearing a jacket/blazer and tie from the age of 5 when I started school and continued to do so until I left school at 18. I then worked in the financial industry for 41 years when the required dress was suit and tie. I enjoy adhering to any required dress code, whether it be a formal night on a cruise or as a member at the golf club and expect everyone to do so too. I cannot understand how this makes me fake.

[Tommart]

4 hours ago, TigerB said:

 

I worked thirty years in a job where, for the last twenty-two years, I was in a role that required me to wear a suit. As it happens, I wore a three-piece suit for most of that period because I liked to do so. After working from home for sixteen months during Covid, when I returned to the same role I wore trousers and a smart shirt, but no tie. The main reason was because my work suits had shrunk in the wardrobe during Covid and I wasn't going to buy new ones, with just a year to retirement. Furthermore, the dress code had relaxed a little. That said, I always had a tie in my desk drawer just incase I had to have a meeting with a (big) boss. That never happened but, if it did, would that make me fake in your eyes?

 

 

 

1 hour ago, Palaceman said:

I started wearing a jacket/blazer and tie from the age of 5 when I started school and continued to do so until I left school at 18. I then worked in the financial industry for 41 years when the required dress was suit and tie. I enjoy adhering to any required dress code, whether it be a formal night on a cruise or as a member at the golf club and expect everyone to do so too. I cannot understand how this makes me fake.

 

The 'fake' concept is interesting. I didn't introduce it, but I think I get the meaning - maybe it's centred on the incongruity between today's P&O and formal dress. 20 years ago there was no incongruity - there was a perfect match - but as P&O has changed the match is no longer there.

 

P&O is arguably pretending in its advertising to be something that it once was, but certainly isn't now. Maybe that where the fakeness starts?

[Palaceman]

Yes P&O have changed. When I first cruised with them in 1970 and 1971 as an 11 and 12 year old it was suit and tie every night even for children in Tourist Class (ie not just 1st class as there was back then). I have fond memories of dressing accordingly and appropriately every night and was proud to do so. I am sure my parents were proud of me and my sister too. I agree P & O have changed but having black tie nights some nights they are keeping with tradition and as far as I'm concerned long may it continue. I know black tie nights are not for everyone but there is are choices; a) don't dress up and stay away from the areas on board requiring the dress code or, b) don't book a cruise with P&O. But more importantly, just because my wife and I enjoy black tie nights please do not call us fake.

[Snow Hill]

2 hours ago, Palaceman said:

I started wearing a jacket/blazer and tie from the age of 5 when I started school and continued to do so until I left school at 18. I then worked in the financial industry for 41 years when the required dress was suit and tie. I enjoy adhering to any required dress code, whether it be a formal night on a cruise or as a member at the golf club and expect everyone to do so too. I cannot understand how this makes me fake.

I worked the Finance Industry for 37 years, the suit rule was abandoned by my employer in the mid 1990’s.

 

I no longer have a suit that fits and have no intention of buying one as it hardly ever be worn.

[daz1107]

20 hours ago, Palaceman said:

I started wearing a jacket/blazer and tie from the age of 5 when I started school and continued to do so until I left school at 18. I then worked in the financial industry for 41 years when the required dress was suit and tie. I enjoy adhering to any required dress code, whether it be a formal night on a cruise or as a member at the golf club and expect everyone to do so too. I cannot understand how this makes me fake.

I find your post really interesting, and no, I don't mean in a sarcastic way. 

As someone who studied psychology for a part of my degree, I wonder if the fact you have had to follow a dress code for 54 years, has conditioned you to this, rather than you gaining actual enjoyment from it. 

Your comment around 'you expect everyone to do this', emphasises this, in that you've had to, so therefore they should as well. 

Unfortunately, with regards to everyone following the 'rules', we now live in a society of choice and not everyone wants to dress the same. It's all about individuality and the world (in my opinion) is a better place for it. 

Your idea of holiday dress, is not the same as mine, yet we both choose to cruise. We can be different, but your enjoyment is not achieved in the same way as mine is. 

Please don't be offended by anything I have said, as that certainly isn't what I intended, but I am also someone who had to wear a strict school uniform and then suits for 26 years. Upon retirement, I packed them all up and took them to the charity shop! 

[Devon born and bred]

13 minutes ago, daz1107 said:

I find your post really interesting, and no, I don't mean in a sarcastic way. 

As someone who studied psychology for a part of my degree, I wonder if the fact you have had to follow a dress code for 54 years, has conditioned you to this, rather than you gaining actual enjoyment from it. 

Your comment around 'you expect everyone to do this', emphasises this, in that you've had to, so therefore they should as well. 

Unfortunately, with regards to everyone following the 'rules', we now live in a society of choice and not everyone wants to dress the same. It's all about individuality and the world (in my opinion) is a better place for it. 

Your idea of holiday dress, is not the same as mine, yet we both choose to cruise. We can be different, but your enjoyment is not achieved in the same way as mine is. 

Please don't be offended by anything I have said, as that certainly isn't what I intended, but I am also someone who had to wear a strict school uniform and then suits for 26 years. Upon retirement, I packed them all up and took them to the charity shop! 

I also worked in an environment where smart workwear was required at all times. I always enjoyed taking pride in my appearance, not because of what society might expect but because I wanted to. One of my reasons for enjoying a cruise holiday is the fact that it gives me the chance to dress up, and this is why I enjoy the fact that P&O still gives me that opportunity that most other cruise lines don't. If people don't enjoy that aspect there are other places to go or other cruise lines. It seems there are some people who want to spoil it for those of us who enjoy what P&O offer rather than choosing something else that will give them what they want. I wouldn't be surprised if Palaceman was offended by your comment, I felt insulted that you seem to think I would have been "conditioned" when I can assure you I thoroughly enjoy making an effort.

[daz1107]

3 minutes ago, Devon born and bred said:

I also worked in an environment where smart workwear was required at all times. I always enjoyed taking pride in my appearance, not because of what society might expect but because I wanted to. One of my reasons for enjoying a cruise holiday is the fact that it gives me the chance to dress up, and this is why I enjoy the fact that P&O still gives me that opportunity that most other cruise lines don't. If people don't enjoy that aspect there are other places to go or other cruise lines. It seems there are some people who want to spoil it for those of us who enjoy what P&O offer rather than choosing something else that will give them what they want. I wouldn't be surprised if Palaceman was offended by your comment, I felt insulted that you seem to think I would have been "conditioned" when I can assure you I thoroughly enjoy making an effort.

I don't object to anyone making an effort, but I think that P&O need to decide what they are aiming for. 

Let's be honest, they are at the bottom end of the market, they are certainly not Silver Sea or Regent. I don't understand why they are pricing themselves at this lower end, but are trying to be something else? 

Tradition is all well and good until this generation, yes me included, is too old to carry on, then what? 

I don't understand why me not wearing a suit would spoil your enjoyment? You don't know me, I don't know you, we could both enjoy our respective meals in the same room. 

As for being conditioned, I'll admit to the fact that I was when I was working! If someone new came into the office, not in suit and tie, I would be horrified, because that was what was expected!

Conditioned is not an offensive term in this context, it merely means that we can expect others to do something without thinking about it.  ie, I openly stated above that I was, as I expected everyone to follow the suit rule in the office. 

I was also conditioned in the same way at school. If a class pupil had forgotten their blazer, there would have been gasps when they walked in!! 

I've openly said many times that I won't wear a suit on my next cruise, as it's not me and I've left those days behind. I'll merely eat in other venues and enjoy it just as much. 

I would certainly never call anyone fake, as the only one to be fake would be me, if I went behind what I have stated, just to gain entry into a particular venue. 

All in trying to do is to see it from both sides, which many people on here cannot seem to do. 

 

[nosapphire]

Surely it is simply good manners to follow the stated dress code of your( freely chosen) selected venue at the appropriate time?

 

 

 

 

[terrierjohn]

2 hours ago, daz1107 said:

I find your post really interesting, and no, I don't mean in a sarcastic way. 

As someone who studied psychology for a part of my degree, I wonder if the fact you have had to follow a dress code for 54 years, has conditioned you to this, rather than you gaining actual enjoyment from it. 

Your comment around 'you expect everyone to do this', emphasises this, in that you've had to, so therefore they should as well. 

Unfortunately, with regards to everyone following the 'rules', we now live in a society of choice and not everyone wants to dress the same. It's all about individuality and the world (in my opinion) is a better place for it. 

Your idea of holiday dress, is not the same as mine, yet we both choose to cruise. We can be different, but your enjoyment is not achieved in the same way as mine is. 

Please don't be offended by anything I have said, as that certainly isn't what I intended, but I am also someone who had to wear a strict school uniform and then suits for 26 years. Upon retirement, I packed them all up and took them to the charity shop! 

Whilst your ideas of holiday wear obviously suit you and give you comfort, surely someone else with a different view should be allowed to follow their preferences. Equally each cruise line should be able to have their own dress code, which they believe suits their clientelle, and of course dress codes need to specify where non conformance is not permitted. In that way, if everyone follows the rules, then everything will be harmonious, equally when people try to break the rules then disharmony will prevail, and surely none of us want that?

 

[daz1107]

3 minutes ago, terrierjohn said:

Whilst your ideas of holiday wear obviously suit you and give you comfort, surely someone else with a different view should be allowed to follow their preferences. Equally each cruise line should be able to have their own dress code, which they believe suits their clientelle, and of course dress codes need to specify where non conformance is not permitted. In that way, if everyone follows the rules, then everything will be harmonious, equally when people try to break the rules then disharmony will prevail, and surely none of us want that?

 

I couldn't agree with you more!  I will totally follow the rules, as I've explained, but I can see both sides. 

 

[Palaceman]

2 hours ago, daz1107 said:

I find your post really interesting, and no, I don't mean in a sarcastic way. 

As someone who studied psychology for a part of my degree, I wonder if the fact you have had to follow a dress code for 54 years, has conditioned you to this, rather than you gaining actual enjoyment from it. 

Your comment around 'you expect everyone to do this', emphasises this, in that you've had to, so therefore they should as well. 

Unfortunately, with regards to everyone following the 'rules', we now live in a society of choice and not everyone wants to dress the same. It's all about individuality and the world (in my opinion) is a better place for it. 

Your idea of holiday dress, is not the same as mine, yet we both choose to cruise. We can be different, but your enjoyment is not achieved in the same way as mine is. 

Please don't be offended by anything I have said, as that certainly isn't what I intended, but I am also someone who had to wear a strict school uniform and then suits for 26 years. Upon retirement, I packed them all up and took them to the charity shop! 

Hi Daz, Despite your intentions I am offended that you suggest my past has "conditioned" me into the way I dress and enjoy myself. I prefer to think the way I conduct and present myself is down to how I was brought up by my parents. That is to respect where I am and who I am with.  I choose to always adhere to dress codes wherever I am and I will always dress correctly and appropriately for any occasion, be it a celebration, wedding, funeral etc. And because of this I have several suits in my wardrobe to cover any eventuality.  This is my choice and not down to me being "conditioned". 

I enjoy cruising with P&O as they give me the choice at an affordable price.  They also make it quite clear what the dress code is for each evening. If their dress codes are a problem then P&O are not the right cruise company for them. That's their choice.

You have chosen to not pack a suit for you next cruise. By doing so you have chosen to only dine and drink in the appropriate venues whilst on board. And I respect that. That is your choice and I am sure you will enjoy your time as much as I do in my dinner suit.  

I agree that not everyone wants to dress the same.  Unfortunately, it is the people that try to "bend" the rules to their advantage that make things difficult and awkward, especially for the crew that have to ask them to leave or deny them access to bar or restaurant.

Happy cruising.

[daz1107]

13 minutes ago, Palaceman said:

Hi Daz, Despite your intentions I am offended that you suggest my past has "conditioned" me into the way I dress and enjoy myself. I prefer to think the way I conduct and present myself is down to how I was brought up by my parents. That is to respect where I am and who I am with.  I choose to always adhere to dress codes wherever I am and I will always dress correctly and appropriately for any occasion, be it a celebration, wedding, funeral etc. And because of this I have several suits in my wardrobe to cover any eventuality.  This is my choice and not down to me being "conditioned". 

I enjoy cruising with P&O as they give me the choice at an affordable price.  They also make it quite clear what the dress code is for each evening. If their dress codes are a problem then P&O are not the right cruise company for them. That's their choice.

You have chosen to not pack a suit for you next cruise. By doing so you have chosen to only dine and drink in the appropriate venues whilst on board. And I respect that. That is your choice and I am sure you will enjoy your time as much as I do in my dinner suit.  

I agree that not everyone wants to dress the same.  Unfortunately, it is the people that try to "bend" the rules to their advantage that make things difficult and awkward, especially for the crew that have to ask them to leave or deny them access to bar or restaurant.

Happy cruising.

Hi, I would like to openly apologise for any offence I have caused you, as that was certainly not my intention. 

We are all conditioned and your explanation of how you were brought up by, what sounds like excellent parents, is a way of conditioning. 

However, if it came across that way, I am truly sorry. I am also conditioned to accept all people's views, which is what I've tried to do on this thread and tried to see things from both sides. 

I certainly wouldn't bend rules. Believe it or not, I actually played in our club captains event at the golf club, but missed out on a free evening meal, at I didn't wish to wear a suit. I wasn't the only one who did this. 

I also agree it is unfair on the crew to have to diffuse any awkward situations. 

Hopefully, we can agree to disagree, without ill feeling and should I ever bump into you on a non suit wearing night, I will buy you a beverage. 

 

 

Edited 15 hours ago by daz1107
Spelling

[Palaceman]

1 hour ago, daz1107 said:

Hi, I would like to openly apologise for any offence I have caused you, as that was certainly not my intention. 

We are all conditioned and your explanation of how you were brought up by, what sounds like excellent parents, is a way of conditioning. 

However, if it came across that way, I am truly sorry. I am also conditioned to accept all people's views, which is what I've tried to do on this thread and tried to see things from both sides. 

I certainly wouldn't bend rules. Believe it or not, I actually played in our club captains event at the golf club, but missed out on a free evening meal, at I didn't wish to wear a suit. I wasn't the only one who did this. 

I also agree it is unfair on the crew to have to diffuse any awkward situations. 

Hopefully, we can agree to disagree, without ill feeling and should I ever bump into you on a non suit wearing night, I will buy you a beverage. 

 

 

Thank you for your apology, which I accept. However, I do find it difficult to accept I have been conditioned in any way, shape or form. As you say we will agree to disagree. You never know, maybe we will meet and you can buy me that beverage. A cask "conditioned" beer would be nice. 😂 

[Denarius]

22 hours ago, Snow Hill said:

I worked the Finance Industry for 37 years, the suit rule was abandoned by my employer in the mid 1990’s.

 

I no longer have a suit that fits and have no intention of buying one as it hardly ever be worn.

Somewhat mirrors my own experience in the finance industry.

When I started work in the 1960s suit and tie were virtually obligatory for men; there was no similar "uniform" for women! But over the years this became less so and more casual dress crept in. As in cruising, this led to friction between those who believed that standards were falling and should be enforced and those who suppported the relaxation. The matter was resolved in the late 1990s when a ballot was held, and employees were asked to vote on whether to enforce the old dress code or to replace it with a new smart casual one. Over 80% voted in favour of the latter, and the old code was consigned to history.

[Denarius]

4 hours ago, daz1107 said:

I don't object to anyone making an effort, but I think that P&O need to decide what they are aiming for. 

Let's be honest, they are at the bottom end of the market, they are certainly not Silver Sea or Regent. I don't understand why they are pricing themselves at this lower end, but are trying to be something else? 

Tradition is all well and good until this generation, yes me included, is too old to carry on, then what? 

I don't understand why me not wearing a suit would spoil your enjoyment? You don't know me, I don't know you, we could both enjoy our respective meals in the same room. 

As for being conditioned, I'll admit to the fact that I was when I was working! If someone new came into the office, not in suit and tie, I would be horrified, because that was what was expected!

Conditioned is not an offensive term in this context, it merely means that we can expect others to do something without thinking about it.  ie, I openly stated above that I was, as I expected everyone to follow the suit rule in the office. 

I was also conditioned in the same way at school. If a class pupil had forgotten their blazer, there would have been gasps when they walked in!! 

I've openly said many times that I won't wear a suit on my next cruise, as it's not me and I've left those days behind. I'll merely eat in other venues and enjoy it just as much. 

I would certainly never call anyone fake, as the only one to be fake would be me, if I went behind what I have stated, just to gain entry into a particular venue. 

All in trying to do is to see it from both sides, which many people on here cannot seem to do. 

 

As a matter of interest, on both Silversea and Regent Seven Seas cruises formal nights are now optional, with smart casual being acceptable for those who do not wish to dress formally.

[Ardennais]

9 hours ago, Devon born and bred said:

I also worked in an environment where smart workwear was required at all times. I always enjoyed taking pride in my appearance, not because of what society might expect but because I wanted to. One of my reasons for enjoying a cruise holiday is the fact that it gives me the chance to dress up, and this is why I enjoy the fact that P&O still gives me that opportunity that most other cruise lines don't. If people don't enjoy that aspect there are other places to go or other cruise lines. It seems there are some people who want to spoil it for those of us who enjoy what P&O offer rather than choosing something else that will give them what they want. I wouldn't be surprised if Palaceman was offended by your comment, I felt insulted that you seem to think I would have been "conditioned" when I can assure you I thoroughly enjoy making an effort.

Just two observations.

One - it’s perfectly possible to take pride in one’s appearance without dressing up. Indeed, on cruises I’ve seen many elderly gentlemen wearing formal dress that has definitely seen better days and where the fit is very suspect. Not much pride involved, or just oblivious to their overall appearance. Doesn’t bother me at all. Other people’s dress doesn’t impact my cruise experience one bit. 
Two - following from the above, ‘making an effort’ doesn’t just equate to formal wear. I always make an effort, and believe me, as I get older it takes more of an effort to look good! However, I prefer to ‘dodge’ formal evenings on P&O and enjoy myself just as much as any other night. I still look better than many folk in formal wear. So P&O does give us what we want, and we do follow the dress code and therefore only visit some venues on formal night. Why that should spoil things for others is beyond me.