Regular Joe in The Haven

[schmoopie17]

I'm with you on the Haven issue. Give me a balcony and a drink (actually, several) and I'm a happy camper...er, cruiser.

 

Although, it would be nice to have the Haven experience just once, so if something bad happens in the cabin while we're out, I'll be able to say, "The butler did it".

[horseboarder]

It was a gift and should be accepted graciously. A good butler should be totally invisible unless you ask for something. You will never know who in the Haven has real money and who does not unless you can tell by demeanor. Relax. Enjoy your vacation just being yourself and seeing your wife’s children doing something for their mother and the man she chooses to spend her life with. 

[2Cruise4Ever]

On board a ship with nearly 4,000 people.... really the only quiet place with a lounge chair will be in the Haven.  You can always tell your butler and concierge not to fret over you.  But, I think you'll find their services to be excellent.  If you and the fam want to go to a show or a specialty restaurant your concierge will handle those reservations for you.  Want in-suite dining for breakfast, lunch, or dinner?  Your butler will take care of that.  

Been cruising for 20+ years and I can tell you that every single cruise I was treated like royalty... Haven or not.  But, we like to quiet areas, the extra attention to tiny details, and especially the food in the Haven restaurant.  Will we sail in a regular balcony?  Yep, and have many times.  But, when we are with our family, it's Haven every time.  For the reasons I mentioned above, and we can get a 2 bedroom suite there.

[JustAPilot]

I’m a bit confused was this a surprise gift from them or did the son in law book you and your wife in the Haven and sent you the invoice to pay for your room? If it’s the latter then yeah 8k for 5 days is a hard pill to swallow from a budget conscious person.

[Sigyn]

3 hours ago, nitecapt said:

 

Hello! First time cruiser and first time poster. Please be kind to me! LOL

 

My wife surprised me with an upcoming cruise which she planned along with her daughter, SIL and two grandchildren. We are a retired couple and 'the kids' do quite well for themselves. Not being familiar with cruising, she left all the planning up to them. We are booked on The Joy 5-night Bermuda. We will occupy a Haven Courtyard Penthouse w/Large Balcony. After all was said and done, I realized that the kids spared no expense in selecting our cabin category. Our final total was just shy of $8000 - ($800 of that amount was insurance). I can only imagine what kind of cabin they selected for the four of them!

 

I'm a bit upset with the unexpected expense and see that this trip could've been around $3200 had we selected a basic balcony cabin. I'm a simple guy - give me a lounge chair in a quiet spot and I'm fine. The thought of butlers doting and exclusive areas, quite frankly, makes me uncomfortable. Wifey isn't too happy with me because she realizes that if we booked a cheaper room we couldn't fraternize with the rest of the family in The Haven. So it looks like I've lost this battle. Lesson learned: do your own homework and don't leave it up to others to help you spend your money. Also, the stingy amount of allowed internet - 75 minutes! - seems out of line with the price paid. Now, on top of everything else, I have to dip deeper for internet. And yes, for a variety of reasons, I need to touch base with the folks at home. 

 

I guess my question is..is The Haven a worthwhile expenditure? Will I be like a fish-out-of-water with the upper echelon? Will I cringe as my party is lead past the passengers in steerage who are patiently waiting in line? I realize the ‘worth’ of something is subjective, but I’m looking for some feedback. 

 

You can book a Haven cabin on the Joy that's not in the Courtyard for a couple thousand less than one that is in the courtyard. Perhaps you can do that and change cabins and reach a compromise that saves you some money and still allows your wife access to the Haven amenities and her grandchildren. 

 

Edited to say I read other posts afterward that suggested this very thing, with more specific details. Good luck and happy changing!

Edited May 30, 2023 by njsmom

[nitecapt]

STHRNGARY

WELL, now my wife says if I want I can stay home and if there is a savings in doing that let me know and I will go for it

[cruiseny4life]

On my last cruise, my husband and I made friends with two couples. One was a retired couple. The husband retired after working in the oil fields of Saskatchewan and the husband in the other couple is a master carpenter from New Jersey, working daily in the city. These couples are "regular Joe" couples. 

 

Rarely do you see anyone flaunting their wealth or excess in the Haven. A couple might dress up in a jacket/tie/dress for an evening or two. I have seen a few ladies wear excessive (to me) amounts of jewelry, but hey they want to look pretty and I sure hope it was costume jewelry, not the real stuff! This was on a New Year's cruise. I haven't seen the same degree of formality in any of my other Haven cruises. 

As for me? Well, I do work a corporate job, used to be the director of a charter school, and have a master's, so I suppose I don't count as a "regular Joe," even though I feel like one. My husband works two jobs and I go home from my regular job to our ten acre farm. We work hard. Luxury is an exception, although I do love the sunroof in my car! 

 

If your son-in-law is paying for the cruise, enjoy it! If you are paying for it, get out of that Haven Courtyard Penthouse and move into an HJ category room. It's the most affordable room on Joy. It's plenty luxurious, not in the finely coifed Haven, and allows you easier access (not that it's ever hard) to the rest of the ship and the rest of the "regular Joe's." 

 

Though, I suppose you have to balance this with a happy wife, happy life. Perhaps your wife wants to be ensconced in the luxurious ship-within-a-ship concept. I totally understand. It is a lovely proposition, though I sometimes feel a bit awkward in such an area. Mainly because the staff do tend to dote. They're trained to. My husband loves it! I...well, I don't. But, I do love the restaurant. The Haven Restaurant is lovely - eat to your heart's content: lobster, filet mignon, lamp ribeye, pork.....all is yum! 

 

I took a brief look at Joy's five day sailings to Bermuda. You might be able to save a little bit of money by booking one of those HJ (or other categories), but they're a bit high priced right now. If you can afford it, then stay where you are or look at saving a few dollars, but not a heck of a lot. 

 

Ask any questions you have! This maybe "regular Joe" will do his best to answer any questions you have! 

[cruiseny4life]

6 minutes ago, nitecapt said:

STHRNGARY

WELL, now my wife says if I want I can stay home and if there is a savings in doing that let me know and I will go for it

No savings. You're still paying for two...just go. Unless you're going to be sour the entire time. 

[Monica887]

5 minutes ago, nitecapt said:

STHRNGARY

WELL, now my wife says if I want I can stay home and if there is a savings in doing that let me know and I will go for it

It sounds like you don't want to go on this trip. Is it because it's with the step kids? Is it because it's too expensive? Is it because it doesn't sound enjoyable? 

 

If you can afford it,  go for it. You will find a quiet space and enjoy your time. You don't need butler things and upgrades, but there's no reason to not enjoy the quiet Haven decks, better food, and easy boarding. 

 

If, separate from the cost, you just have no desire to go on the trip, and it won't negatively affect your relationship, skip it. 

[mjkacmom]

There will be very little costs savings if your wife goes alone with the single supplement. Either suck it up or try to get a less expensive haven cabin. I know they aren’t your kids but as a mom I’d want to spend time with my adult children.

[ExpatBride]

12 minutes ago, cruiseny4life said:

I have seen a few ladies wear excessive (to me) amounts of jewelry, but hey they want to look pretty and I sure hope it was costume jewelry, not the real stuff! 

 

 

Why would you hope it was costume jewellery? I collect antique and vintage jewels, and formal nights are one of the few times a year I get to wear my most beautiful pieces. I'd be mortified if someone thought I was wearing fake, tacky jewellery. Admittedly, I can usually tell what's what 🤣 

 

To the OP, I understand where you're coming from. It's her daughter/grandkids and it's partly your money. My SO has kids and I don't. I have to swallow a lot of 💩 to keep the peace sometimes. This would get my dander up, too. I don't like paying for other people's lavish choices.

Edited May 30, 2023 by ExpatBride

[nitecapt]

I have a dog that is sick, with anxiety issues (very bad) a sister who had a heart attack and a stroke and my wife's aunt is 102 and failing. There are lots of reasons I don't want to go. The timing and financial reasons are the least of them. I have been retired 6 years and they have asked me back to work 5 days a week at substantial $. I was on a cruise years ago and did not want to partake in any of the festivities. At 72 I will not be go carting, swimming, going to shows and I am on a strict diet and eat VERY little food. I would only relax in a deck chair and surf the net....maybe even work. I love the grandkids and love interacting with them but they will be off on their own and ai will have little opportunity to interact with them or the step son and daughter which I would gretaly enjoy.

[ChiefMateJRK]

This sounds a lot like when a family member would plan a dinner in a nice restaurant, and then pass the hat when the check came.  Yes, that's happened to me (and many others).  This is a measly five day cruise to Bermuda.  The time will fly and it really won't matter where you eat and sleep.  I would send them back the bill and let them know that you'll take care of your own cabin thank you.  The quality of family time should be based upon the interactions, not the venue.

 

ETA: I just realized that you're staying in different cabins.  5 bucks says they booked the cheapest Haven available for themselves and plan to gather on your penthouse large balcony.😀

Edited May 30, 2023 by ChiefMateJRK

[ChiefMateJRK]

1 hour ago, horseboarder said:

It was a gift and should be accepted graciously.

One of us misunderstood the OP.

[pezgirlroy77]

I think I may have misunderstood, if it was a gift I would say go. It is not a long cruise and you will be able to spend time with the grandkids. If it was not a gift and the room was just booked and expected that you pay for it and you really do not want to go I would suggest your wife going solo wither in their room or a solo room. 

[mjkacmom]

Was the anxious dog or elderly aunt brought up before booking? If the wife is planning on going alone in the cabin money isn’t the issue. We went on 2 cruises with my parents and kids, it was perfect, They’re dead now but my kids were so close to them, also went to Disney with them. Our kids ranged from 14 - 20 on our last cruise, we had breakfast and dinner together, excursions, shows - great balance of being together and also doing our own think (aka sleeping for us).

[DCGuy64]

At first glance I thought this thread was about what kind of coffee they served in The Haven. ☕😆

[graphicguy]

1 hour ago, nitecapt said:

I have a dog that is sick, with anxiety issues (very bad) a sister who had a heart attack and a stroke and my wife's aunt is 102 and failing. There are lots of reasons I don't want to go. The timing and financial reasons are the least of them. I have been retired 6 years and they have asked me back to work 5 days a week at substantial $. I was on a cruise years ago and did not want to partake in any of the festivities. At 72 I will not be go carting, swimming, going to shows and I am on a strict diet and eat VERY little food. I would only relax in a deck chair and surf the net....maybe even work. I love the grandkids and love interacting with them but they will be off on their own and ai will have little opportunity to interact with them or the step son and daughter which I would gretaly enjoy.

Retired and my former company has made it very attractive to go back part time.  The further away from my old job, the less I'm inclined to bo back, even at substantial pay.

 

Like others mentioned, you don't seem to have your heart into this. So, that makes the answer even clearer.

 

As an aside, I had a little doggo with serious separation and anxiety issues.  It got better over time.  But, for about a year, I seriously thought my fur friend was going to make himself physically ill whenever I left the house.  I understand that.

[candygirl27540]

21 minutes ago, DCGuy64 said:

At first glance I thought this thread was about what kind of coffee they served in The Haven. ☕😆

Me too! lol

 

[Sthrngary]

This thread is an example of everyone who knows the Haven trying to assist a fellow CruiseCritic.com member.  Yet the information given now is unclear and it is very hard to assist if clarity is not there. Not a put down to the author, rather an apology if I did not understand the whole situation.  All me to take all angles and do my best.  

 

If the Haven Suite is a Gift:  Go, don't worry about it and consider the "Free at Sea PLUS" program if you like nice spirits and wine. 

If the Haven Suite was booked and you have to Pay It yourself: Based on all the other things you have going on in your life, the fact it is a 5 day cruise rather than a normal 7 day.  My advice is to tell your kids, "Thanks but no thanks."  If you wife insists on going, pass on the Haven completely and look at other options for her.  

If a Gift and You want to Lower the cost of the Haven Room: I would just accept the gift. 

 

The Haven is not a good option for a solo if your wife goes alone because it charges double.  This ends up being a very difficult situation to navigate especially because you are not close to your wife's kids.  However, if it is my money, I am close to that.  Get out of the Haven and get a inexpensive balcony for 1/3 the price if your wife wants to go or you have to pay for it.  That is also based on how little you will use the amenities on a big ship.  Just my two cents. 

 

Cruise well and enjoy every moment. 

[goldmom]

There is no savings if you don't go.  Your wife would have to pay a single supplement unless she were going to have someone else in the room with her who is paying half.

Also, I'm thinking that you are more than likely past final payment.  If so, then I believe there may be penalties if you try to switch to a cheaper Haven suite.  If not, then the cheaper Haven suite may be a good compromise.

I think at this point you need to figure you're out the money and either just decide not to go or just go and make the best of it.  I don't think you'll feel uncomfortable being in the Haven.  We've met many very nice and down to earth people there and it's only 5 days..

Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[sanger727]

I've taken this to mean that the children selected the cabin - but the OP and wife have to pay for it. $8000 is outrageous for a 5 night cruise and I would personally be offended also that that was selected without approval. I'm curious what the conversation was between the wife and the children about this. I've planned quite a few vacations with other people have never been on such different pages on acceptable pricing. 

Edited May 30, 2023 by sanger727

[minabruuke]

I'm sorry that you find yourself in this situation. As wonderful as it is to have the experience and memories of traveling with family, it certainly can be complicated. 

I am in utter disbelief at the idea of spending almost $8000 on a 5 night cruise. Regardless of how nice the Haven may be, that is an incredibly large sum of money for a very short trip. I've spent less than that on a nearly two week trip to the French Polynesia on a small boutique (some might say luxury) cruise line.

 

Frankly, I find it incredibly disrespectful that you were booked into such an expensive room without a proper discussion about budget and what you found reasonable cost wise.  Not wishing to be involved in the planning of the trip does not absolve those who are involved from the responsibility of discussing the cost of the trip with all adults that are paying their own way.  I understand that your wife is concerned that if you book a cheaper cabin that you will not be able to spend time in the Haven with your family.  But in my opinion, any decent, respectful family members would not put you in a situation in which you have to spend an astronomical sum of money to spend time with them. There are plenty of places on the ship where you can spend quality time with your family outside of the Haven.  If you are not comfortable paying $8000 for a 5 night cruise, then there is a good reason for that and you should not do it.  You are not the one being selfish or inconsiderate in this situation. 

 

As for spending $800 on insurance, that is also insane.  We use a credit card with a $95 annual fee that has travel insurance benefits to cover our trip expenses (and we have had to file claims and they did pay). We then add on separate medical and evacuation coverage which is much more affordable than buying comprehensive travel insurance for every trip.  

[sanger727]

4 minutes ago, minabruuke said:

 

As for spending $800 on insurance, that is also insane.  We use a credit card with a $95 annual fee that has travel insurance benefits to cover our trip expenses (and we have had to file claims and they did pay). We then add on separate medical and evacuation coverage which is much more affordable than buying comprehensive travel insurance for every trip.  

 

$800 for insurance on an $8000 trip isn't that unreasonable. Especially when the cruisers are older. A quick look on insure my trip for a 70+ year old couple ranges from $500-$1,000 in insurance cost. I would do what you do with the credit card before spending that much on one trip. But, that is probably what insurance for this trip will end up costing. 

[mjkacmom]

I suspect the OP’s wife ok’d the $8000, I know in my marriage we discuss large purchases in advance. I don’t think this is a decision one person in the relationship make, for or against.