Disrespectful Guests.........

[sail7seas]

I've debated whether to post this but, being the blunt one around here, I figure why not.

 

Can someone please tell me when guests became so disrespectful of senior officers on cruise ships?

 

I don't know about anyone else but when I see a Captain or a Hotel Manager, a Chief Officer, a Chief Engineer or Executive Chef etc, I respect them immediately for their position. Until I have a chance to know them personally, just their position warrants my respect and courtesy IMO

 

A Captain has a huge responsibility and it is inconceivable anyone sailing a ship does not recognize the thousands of lives and the immensely costly ship for which he is the ultimate responsible person. He didn't get that position without many years of long training, education, experience and ability. Only a special personality, aptitude and talent makes a handful among us capable of this position but yet, I personally heard idiots approach our Captain and ask:

 

"Do you work here?" What? Do they think he's wearing a halloween costume with four stripes on his shoulders? Jerks!

 

Without a thought to the fact they are interrupting him, they will approach the Hotel Manager and blast him because they only got two bath towels in their cabin and they want three.

 

I have seen this disrespect build through the last few years but our most recent cruises last summer and now it seems to have built to a new level that is beyond belief IMO

 

Sure, there are always a handful of idiots but this is more than a handful. How did we become such a rude, disrespectful bunch and what can/should we be doing about it?

[brucory]

We watched the Captain, Hotel manager and cruise director getting adoration and respect on our Ryndam cruise last month. Did not see any of that sort of ignorant behaviour you have mentioned, though it is easy to imagine it happening. No doubt it only made the passengers look like idiots as you said. We were asked on several occasions if we worked on the ship by people wanting things, so I dont think that ignorance is limited to approaching the "brass" only. I hope that the officers on your cruise took it in their stride as we did...

 

:D:D:D

[sail7seas]

We happen to know some of these Officers very well, have sailed with them for years and always marvel at their professionalism. They are the epitome of good manners and courtesy and never blinked an eye. It was me who was disturbed by the disrespectful behavior, not them..... or at least, they never showed it.

[usha]

I see that a lot. :(

Maybe a lot of pax are just oblivious?

It's like Forrest Gump's mom used to say: "Stupid is as stupid does".

[Sage]

I agree with you that the treatment of the Officers is disrepectful at times. Perhaps everyone should be required to read Captain Albert's blog before boarding to better understand what all is involved in providing us a wonderful vacation.

[kenevenpar]

I think a lot of it has to do with the "me" or "I am entitled" attitude that has become much more prevelant. I am entitled to perfect service, and I don't care who you are or what you do, unless it impacts my world.

 

As a side, on my last cruise I was wearing a dinner jacket, and while waiting for DW, was aked questions several times by folks thinking I was part of the crew (I just answered the questions:D).

 

Ken

[cruznon]

In all probability, those rude "guests" haven't a clue about courtesty to anyone--not just ship's officers. There are people out there who think only of themselves in the moment and haven't the vaguest idea how obnoxious their behavior is--or could care less. I doubt they show respect to anyone. (In this case, "I paid for this cruise and these guys work for me!" is their attitude.) Sad.

[meterman2]

I have not noticed it, but I'm not surprised.

 

Respect and manners are not (IMHO) "instilled" into the minds of younger people as they were "years ago". I'm not trying to insinuate that all "older people" are respectful and well mannered, but the truth is, it has become a different world (on ships and most everywhere else).

 

I try "as best as I can" to "keep my antenna's down" in regard to how others behave, although it sometimes hard when directly confronted with it. I'm not a people-watcher. I try to responsible for myself, for it is the only thing I have control over.

 

Finally, the Officers on board, albeit deserving of every respect, are in the "hospitality business". Dealing with fools "goes with the territory". While your're on vacation, if this behavior is noticed, certainly don't get upset by it.

[Himself]

Those who disrespect the Master and other Senior Officers tell us more about themselves than they do about the Officers and the commentary is not good.

[Dave M]

It's not just people in authority that are abused. It's all of the ship's employees.

 

I don't think it's new. I have seen it for years - in retail stores, in airport check-in lines, on planes with flight attendants, in hotels, etc.

 

What I normally do, if I can create the opportunity, is to speak with the "victim" after the confrontation, making it clear that I value that person's services and that I can't believe the rude encounter that the clerk (or agent, flight attendant or whatever) went through. In at least 10 such situations I have asked for the name of and written a letter to the person's supervisor complimenting the employee for keeping his/her cool in an abusive situation. Speaking with the person's supervisor, such as on a ship, is probably equally effective.

[Copper10-8]

Hey, even a man of the cloth, a very frequent poster on these here boards walking the decks in a sweat shirt minding his own beezwax, gets mistaken for a HAL officer at times! What is a mother to do?:rolleyes:

Don't think it's just a sign of the times. Have seen people "of mature" age treat crew (incl. officers) like C.R.A.P.

[jhannah]

It is indeed unfortunate to see anyone disrespected. There are many people who appear to have been raised by wolves! They are the "entitled," as Ken noted in his post. How sad!

[iancal]

We never make much of a distiction between the officers and staff when it comes to treating someone in a disrespectful manner. More often we have seen passengers treat some of the wait or cleaning staff like 'dirt under their feet'. I find this very embarassing. I often wonder if some people change when they get on the ship.

[Krazy Kruizers]

Truthfully -- we very seldom see any officers (captain, HM, first officer, etc) -- that being said -- we haven't seen people being rude to them.

And we are out and about on the ship.

[rednancy1]

My DH and I were having a conversation in the hallway with Captain Karin of the Monarch OTS. Some guy walked up to her and asked where was the bathroom? :eek::rolleyes:

 

After he left the three of us cracked up. :D:D:D

[Two@Sea]

It's not just people in authority that are abused. It's all of the ship's employees... (snip)

 

 

 

I am non-confrontational, so imagine my surprise when on a Celebrity cruise several years ago I witnessed an obnoxious woman speaking in an insulting and demeaning manner to a steward... and my mouth opened before I could stop it and said, "You must be very pleased not to have his job, but I wish you did!" Oops, it just slipped out... I swear!

 

She gave no response, but turned an interesting shade of crimson. I don't know if she was more embarrassed by her behavior, or that someone noticed it.

[kakalina]

Sadly Sails, I think it is just the "overflow" of a society slowly degenerating into total selfishness. It is unfortunate that many don't realize that the general politeness in a soceity is as necessary to that soceity as grease is to machinery. Neither will run well without it.

Politeness and general "niceness" if you will, is the lubricant that allows people to deal well with one another under most circumstances. It is a shame that one finds it so seldom anymore.

[leoandhugh]

As to your original question "....what can/should we do about it?" I think "we" should do nothing. While we may not like to see and hear the disrespect you mention, I do not believe that we are here to reeducate those who do not know better and it is not our business to do so. My father was a ship captain, so I know first-hand of what you speak and I know there were many times he smiled and bit his tongue. Unfortunately it is something that seems to go with the territory and gets worse as each generation becomes more "me" oriented.:)

[trikeman]

I have not noticed it, but I'm not surprised.

 

Respect and manners are not (IMHO) "instilled" into the minds of younger people as they were "years ago".

 

 

 

.

 

I think a lot of it has to do with the "me" or "I am entitled" attitude

 

Ken

 

I IMHO think the two of you have pretty much summed it up. I was taught to treat everyone with respect until they do something that proves they don't deserve it. My children were brought up that way and so are my grandchildren. Even though I'm in my 60's If I don't know a mans name I address him as sir no matter what his age and ladies are treated similarly. I might be a throw back, but my grandchildren will be too. I think some people believe that because they bought a ticket that they in some way now own that ship or plane and the can do or say what they please. I'm getting off my soapbox now.:o

[WeLoveCruising]

While we were on the Statendam earlier this month, we had the pleasure of being invited to dine at the Captain's table one night. Captain Arnold is very gracious, and has a nice sense of humor - we were thrilled and honored to have been invited.

 

I must say though that DH and I were SHOCKED that one of the other couples used it as an opportunity to complain to him about a number of things (and most of them related to ports and tours, not even the ship). I couldnt believe they were sitting at the Captain's table complaining to him about their tour driver.

[RevNeal]

Hey, even a man of the cloth, a very frequent poster on these here boards walking the decks in a sweat shirt minding his own beezwax, gets mistaken for a HAL officer at times! What is a mother to do?:rolleyes:

Don't think it's just a sign of the times. Have seen people "of mature" age treat crew (incl. officers) like C.R.A.P.

 

Correct. While I would point out that not all cases of passengers treating crew like excrement are of the more "seasoned" variety, I've seen it happen from this grouping quite a bit. Indeed, I know for a fact that such was the case in the incident to which you refer. It was a longish cruise and there were exceedingly few people aboard under the age of 60. I was young, had on "Navy" branded sweat shirt and pants, and the passenger in question (by her own admission) had something of a visibility problem. To her, based upon the nominal passenger demographics, young = crew. At least, this was how she explained herself later that evening in the Piano bar when we talked about the incident. She was vary embarrassed by it all, and bought me a drink to "apologize." That being said, however, I cannot help but wonder if she makes a habit of treating ship's staff as if they were her own personal servants. "Chop chop ... and how dare you be so slow and inattentive, young man!" flowed far too easily from her lips.

[RedmondCruiser]

Correct. While I would point out that not all cases of passengers treating crew like excrement are of the more "seasoned" variety, I've seen it happen from this grouping quite a bit. Indeed, I know for a fact that such was the case in the incident to which you refer. It was a longish cruise and there were exceedingly few people aboard under the age of 60. I was young, had on "Navy" branded sweat shirt and pants, and the passenger in question (by her own admission) had something of a visibility problem. To her, based upon the nominal passenger demographics, young = crew. At least, this was how she explained herself later that evening in the Piano bar when we talked about the incident. She was vary embarrassed by it all, and bought me a drink to "apologize." That being said, however, I cannot help but wonder if she makes a habit of treating ship's staff as if they were her own personal servants. "Chop chop ... and how dare you be so slow and inattentive, young man!" flowed far too easily from her lips.

 

Twenty years ago on an Alaska cruise I dressed, one morning in white pants and a blue pull over sweater. That day I got so many requests ie. "Could you reset my watch - wheres the Lido - are there any more blankets --- etc etc etc. finally it dawned on me that I was dressed like the cruise staff. In about a dozen contacts do you realize that only ONE said "thank you" --- the cruise staff do a great job and sometime you don't realize the disrespect that they get. ---- a "thank you and have a good day" goes along way.

[norcal2]

I suspect it is just mostly new cruisers unaware of who does what and anything related to cruising. Most of us learn the hard way when we are in new environments. I wouldn't be too hard on a new cruiser. One day they will be experts if they cruisew enough. I am pretty sure the Captain's of the different ships have a great sense of humor and understanding when a new cruiser sticks *her foot in *her mouth.

 

**"Her" being me on my first cruise. Thankfully the Captain was a most gracious man.

[pepsicruiser]

My DH and I were having a conversation in the hallway with Captain Karin of the Monarch OTS. Some guy walked up to her and asked where was the bathroom? :eek::rolleyes:

 

After he left the three of us cracked up. :D:D:D

 

Again amazing post. Some disturbs your conversation to ask a civil question and you find that amazingly funny. You are amazing.

[Koshlong]

Bet they'll be placed on a list of people never to invite again! Good, that moves the rest of us up the list.