Bar Mitzvah on board

[njhorseman]

Gentlemen,

 

From the motion picture Stage Coach "let's have some christian charity" when considering the merits of Bar and Bat Mitzvahs at sea.

 

There is no need for any harsh words about one another. All that matters really is that the studying gets done and that everyone smiles in the pictures. especially when on the bimah.

 

 

LOL...who could argue against a line like that. ;)

[marco]

I have a question? Do you mean:

 

A: invite people to take the cruise, and have a Bar Mitzvah service while on the cruise.

OR

B: invite people to attend a Bar Mitzvah on the ship, have a little reception, Rabbi and most guests get off and the young man and immediate family sail on the cruise.

 

I've seen weddings done both ways. "A" would be easier to orchestrate, but would you then pay for Rabbi's (and spouse) cruise? Would he be able to/want to take the time off? Could everyone you wanted to be there afford the time and money to take the cruise? If "B", would the line orchestrate it? Could they provide a Kosher reception/do you want a koser reception? How much time would you need and could they do it all?

 

If he's not "into" the bid deal Bar Mitzvah, I'd do a very small intimate service at my Temple with my Rabbi, have a few friends back to the house (or go out) and take him on the cruise either the next day or the next week. All the cruises I've been on have a Friday evening Sabbath Service and I'd make it be known that he just was Bar Mitzvahed and have him do some of the prayers.

[suntantoes]

We were on DCL last March and they had a Bat-mitzvah on board a 3 day cruise that weekend. I decided then that was how we would do our son's. Did you get the info? The group was from a Hebrew Day school and they brought a mini torah and the education director from the school lead the ceremony. They had "services" on Fri night, Sat AM and the party Sat night. The father paid for all the immediate family, and the family of their best friends. The father invited the entire class and paid for every classmate but not their parents. If the parents wanted to go with their child they had to pay. I personally would not let my kid go at 13 without me. The group came from Tampa and the father rented a bus to drive everyone over and back from cape canaveral. I believe there were 70 people in the group. When I spoke with the kids, they said it was the best bat mitzvah they had ever been on and the paying parents said it was worth paying because they received the group rate. Hope that helps and please keep me updated on what you find out.

[Manatee Mom]

We were on DCL last March and they had a Bat-mitzvah on board a 3 day cruise that weekend. I decided then that was how we would do our son's. Did you get the info? The group was from a Hebrew Day school and they brought a mini torah and the education director from the school lead the ceremony. They had "services" on Fri night, Sat AM and the party Sat night. The father paid for all the immediate family, and the family of their best friends. The father invited the entire class and paid for every classmate but not their parents. If the parents wanted to go with their child they had to pay. I personally would not let my kid go at 13 without me. The group came from Tampa and the father rented a bus to drive everyone over and back from cape canaveral. I believe there were 70 people in the group. When I spoke with the kids, they said it was the best bat mitzvah they had ever been on and the paying parents said it was worth paying because they received the group rate. Hope that helps and please keep me updated on what you find out.

 

Thank you, that is the kind of info i was looking for. I still have a few years to plan, so i haven't really been doing to much. I have talked to family and friends, they are willing to pay their own way if we go with this idea. We are not looking for a hugh thing (keeping up with the Kleins), rather something small and meaningful and something my son will enjoy.

 

I did though finally talk to my aunt about the idea (she is Hasidic) We don't even have to have a rabbi at the service. We can have our own little service in a room his cousin (just graduated from a Yushivia) will oversee and have a private party afterwards.

 

Now the decision is what cruise line and where to. if we go on a weekend cruise alot more people will join us. If we go on an Alaska or European cruise it might just be immed family and very close friends. The kids like both ideas and keep going back and forth. Disney Dream or Europe????? I just don't know

[imsulin]

Your comment on the legalities of weddings on board ship were both irrelevant and not completely accurate.

 

And just how would you know what my life experiences have been?

 

Well, I pretty much know because of your very negative replies to my posts, even though I clarified the first one by stating: "This was posted by a Protestant". I was simply stating my observations and experiences. After retiring, I worked as a TA in a Brick & Mortar agency for several years, and booked numerous weddings through the cruise line, so what I stated was true. I can state with certainty that my experiences have been more varied than yours. Have a nice life.

[imsulin]

Thank you, that is the kind of info i was looking for. I still have a few years to plan, so i haven't really been doing to much. I have talked to family and friends, they are willing to pay their own way if we go with this idea. We are not looking for a hugh thing (keeping up with the Kleins), rather something small and meaningful and something my son will enjoy.

 

I did though finally talk to my aunt about the idea (she is Hasidic) We don't even have to have a rabbi at the service. We can have our own little service in a room his cousin (just graduated from a Yushivia) will oversee and have a private party afterwards.

 

Now the decision is what cruise line and where to. if we go on a weekend cruise alot more people will join us. If we go on an Alaska or European cruise it might just be immed family and very close friends. The kids like both ideas and keep going back and forth. Disney Dream or Europe????? I just don't know

 

Looking into a group cruise (with perhaps discounted rates and some good perks!) might be something you'd want to do. Every cruise line has a Group Department that you can call directly. Deposits and final payments work differently than booking an individual cruise. Not all cruise lines offer kosher food (which must be pre-ordered and is pre-packaged) if you need it. Sounds like you're doing some great pre-planning, anf good luck to you!

[yogi2929]

I'm glad you have someone to point you in the 'right ' direction. It's good that there is a family member to guide you through the service. A rabbi is never needed. Only a minyon of 10 for a complete service.

 

I just found out that Carnival is providing Kosher meals, as does HAL. I'm sure other do but these are the two that I know about.

 

There are travel agents/agencies that specialize in kosher/Jewish travel, they can be a big resource for you.

Edited February 10, 2010 by yogi2929

[njhorseman]

Well, I pretty much know because of your very negative replies to my posts, even though I clarified the first one by stating: "This was posted by a Protestant". I was simply stating my observations and experiences. After retiring, I worked as a TA in a Brick & Mortar agency for several years, and booked numerous weddings through the cruise line, so what I stated was true. I can state with certainty that my experiences have been more varied than yours. Have a nice life.

 

You must be really bored tonight. You decided to pick up the argument more than 3 months after my last post.:rolleyes:

 

You worked as a TA. I have news for you...I owned a brick and mortar travel agency...so I guess I have a little bit of experience myself.

 

Once again you make a ridiculous statement that you can "state with certainty" that your experiences have been more varied by mine, when you have no idea who I am or what I've done.

Edited February 10, 2010 by njhorseman

[beachchick]

We were on DCL last March and they had a Bat-mitzvah on board a 3 day cruise that weekend. I decided then that was how we would do our son's. Did you get the info? The group was from a Hebrew Day school and they brought a mini torah and the education director from the school lead the ceremony. They had "services" on Fri night, Sat AM and the party Sat night. The father paid for all the immediate family, and the family of their best friends. The father invited the entire class and paid for every classmate but not their parents. If the parents wanted to go with their child they had to pay. I personally would not let my kid go at 13 without me. The group came from Tampa and the father rented a bus to drive everyone over and back from cape canaveral. I believe there were 70 people in the group. When I spoke with the kids, they said it was the best bat mitzvah they had ever been on and the paying parents said it was worth paying because they received the group rate. Hope that helps and please keep me updated on what you find out.

 

I could see problems with this due to booking rules. If enough parents said, "Sure, our child may go, but we're not going," the group could end up with too many minors and not enough adults booked to go with them. The cruise lines will only allow a certain number of unrelated children to be booked per adult. We wouldn't have allowed our DD to cruise alone, even in these circumstances, and I imagine most parents feel the same, so it likely wasn't an issue. It does kind of put a burden on the parents of the other children though. That could end up being a pretty pricy event, even if the fare for their child was covered.

 

beachchick

Edited February 10, 2010 by beachchick

[Fredr]

Hello,

 

This thread probably brought a nice laugh or smile to three of the most important people in the cruise business, Mickey Arison, Penny Pritzker and Adam Goldstein.

 

I will leave it to others to explain.

 

Good luck on your planning. Just make sure that he or she does the studying.

[sassy1015]

Thank you, that is the kind of info i was looking for. I still have a few years to plan, so i haven't really been doing to much. I have talked to family and friends, they are willing to pay their own way if we go with this idea. We are not looking for a hugh thing (keeping up with the Kleins), rather something small and meaningful and something my son will enjoy.

 

I did though finally talk to my aunt about the idea (she is Hasidic) We don't even have to have a rabbi at the service. We can have our own little service in a room his cousin (just graduated from a Yushivia) will oversee and have a private party afterwards.

 

Now the decision is what cruise line and where to. if we go on a weekend cruise alot more people will join us. If we go on an Alaska or European cruise it might just be immed family and very close friends. The kids like both ideas and keep going back and forth. Disney Dream or Europe????? I just don't know

Hi- Was wondering if you are still considering this and if you have any more info on it... My son doesn't want a traditional party to celebrate his barmitzvah. He would love to take a cruise with the family, possibly extended family and some friends.

 

I'm really interested, but unsure where to begin.:confused:.any advice would be so helpful.

Thank you!

[stowaway2k]

You could do what the Guterman's did in 1986, charter the whole ship for an over-night cruise as he did the QE2

 

http://www.nytimes.com/1986/09/16/nyregion/coming-of-age-on-the-ocean-a-bar-mitzvah-aboard-the-qe2.html

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerald_Guterman#A_Bar_Mitzvah_Aboard_the_QE2

 

The QE2 came with a synagogue already permanently installed, the only ship of her time to provide one, and the helicopter deck would have come in handy for those late-comers... :D

[Trend]

Many years ago my son also did not want traditonal party stuff that no one cared about. But we had the service at home for family with a small extended family lunch. Then during school break we took an 11 day Panama Canal cruise he said it was the longest Bar Mitzvah ever with some great memories of family togetherness.:)

[ShaniP]

Hi!

I am just starting the Bar Mitzvah Process myself.

We are very much also considering an event on board.

I see you had a post on here awhile back.

Where are you in the process?

Did you have yours on board?

Any tips/help appreciated!

 

Sarah from Texas!

[Langley Cruisers]

I see you had a post on here awhile back. Where are you in the process? Did you have yours on board? Any tips/help appreciated!

 

Welcome, Sarah. I see this was your first post; if you manage to find this thread and come back to it, please note it is almost 3 years old and the OP (original poster) may very well have moved on. Just a heads up. Perhaps someone else will have some info for you.

.

[sail7seas]

I actually remember this thread from 'back then' and wonder what ever happened.

 

I wish OP had come back to tell us 'the rest of the story'. :)

[SadieN]

Hi!

I am just starting the Bar Mitzvah Process myself.

We are very much also considering an event on board.

I see you had a post on here awhile back.

Where are you in the process?

Did you have yours on board?

Any tips/help appreciated!

 

Sarah from Texas!

 

Hi Sarah,

 

For events and and other ideas check out the Wedding and Honeymoon board. Many of the ideas on this thread are still valid even though they were written a few years ago.

 

The big decision is how you want to do the services. Many in our Temple have had kiddushes for the congregation then have kids or family only parties afterwards.

[marco]

As the above posted stated, comments relative to the topic are still valid, but the OP is almost 3 years old. Any way, you could have a Bar/Bat aboard most lines, but how many could you invite? How long of a service could it be? Would guests scarf down a kinish and given the bum's rush to get off the ship? Would guests be invited to book and go on the cruise? I think I'd have the ceremony at a temple, invite attendees to stay for a little nosh afterwards and instead of having some outrageous over the top reception, take the family and the young man/women on a cruise and have a great family celebration.

[tlg0202]

I would, too. I am about to celebrate my son's bar mitzvah on Oasis of the Seas in March 2015. We will have his service here at our synagogue but instead of spending a ton of money on djs and decorations we decided to take a cruise. We now have 32 of our closest friends and family coming along. I wonder if she had a private room or just did a specialty restaurant. I'm hoping we can find a lounge singer who can sing Hava Nagila so we can life our son in a chair. Either way, it will be a blast. Hope her family had a great time.

Edited January 12, 2015 by tlg0202

[cruisead]

You do realize this thread was started in 2009? I'm guessing the OP's son is long past 13.

[LandlockedCruiser01]

If you just want a celebration party then I don't see why not. If you want the actual ceremony on board I guess you'd have to ask your rabbi if it's possible to do so elsewhere than a synagogue.

It's very much possible. The only catch is that you must have a minyan for a ceremony to be valid; that means 10 Jews over Bar/Bat Mitzvah age gathered in one place. (To be exact, it's 10 Jewish men under per Orthodox rule, and 10 Jewish people per Conservative, Reform, and Reconstructionist rules.) As long as your traveling party meets the numerical requirement for your denomination, you're golden!

[Manatee Mom]

I was going to do this but older family members were not going to be able to go. We ended up doing a Havadalah service on the beach. From a Chabad we got a Havadalah Bar Mitzvah Service and did it ourselves.

 

We have had people say why even bother or you can't do that and many other comments....But it is what you and your family want and feel comfortable with. Technically by Jewish law when a boy turns 13 he is a Bar Mitzvah.

 

Just an FYI we have close relatives that are Hasidic and they loved the way we did it, because it brought family and friends together in a low key situation. Not one of today's $100,000 parties but again it is what your family feels comfortable doing.

[Nitemare]

I would, too. I am about to celebrate my son's bar mitzvah on Oasis of the Seas in March 2015. We will have his service here at our synagogue but instead of spending a ton of money on djs and decorations we decided to take a cruise. We now have 32 of our closest friends and family coming along. I wonder if she had a private room or just did a specialty restaurant. I'm hoping we can find a lounge singer who can sing Hava Nagila so we can lift our son in a chair. Either way, it will be a blast. Hope her family had a great time.

 

Most lounges on ships have VERY low ceilings, so be careful!

[sail7seas]

Most lounges on ships have VERY low ceilings, so be careful!

 

Most ship's lounges wouldn't have chairs suitable for seating the young man and lifting..... not to mention all the other people who might be in the lounge at the time who are not included in your party.

 

[jamessemaj]

You do realize this thread was started in 2009? I'm guessing the OP's son is long past 13.

 

Maybe there was a HS graduation cruise since. Soon a wedding cruise? Da da. When OPs don't report back, we can only guess.